The Assistant Wizard Quits Her Job
By Porphyro
()
About this ebook
A little wizard girl is getting awful tired of being a magical assistant. Repetition, repetition! Everything’s repetition! It’s like with any other job, “only worse!”
At first, being a wizard’s assistant seemed to be about the most exciting thing in the world: she’d go out to the swamps in the dead of the night (witching hour!) and, with the help of a very weak spell, she'd SHOUT all of the frogs and all of the toads into a shimmering gold! She'd then easily collect the petrified specimens—hundreds of them and more. She'd do this with rabbits and birds as well, and insects and squirrels too. Oh and she would collect thousands of flowers...! And oh she would grind them all up...!And she would cook ingredient after ingredient, and she would clean pot after pot. (A dirty cauldron stinks like nothing else.)
Well eventually, a little wizard girl gets fed up. She wants to become the wizard herself and forego being his assistant. The wizard can find another assistant. Any old stupid little girl can be an assistant. “But only someone very special can be...THE CHIEF!”
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The Assistant Wizard Quits Her Job - Porphyro
THE ASSISTANT WIZARD
QUITS
HER JOB
BY PORPHYRO
MEANWHILE, IN THE BASEMENT OF THE WIZARD’S HUT…
THE WIZARD. Little assistant girl! Oh, little
assistant girl!
LITTLE ASSISTANT GIRL. …
THE WIZARD. Are you done brewing the
concoctions? Remember that I needed at least three flasks, please. Four would be great. Five would be excellent.
LITTLE ASSISTANT GIRL. I have a name, sir. You do
know that, right?
THE WIZARD. Hmm. Now that I think about it, if we don’t have enough for four, you might actually have to go back out tonight.
THE WIZARD. Let’s see. At the very least, we should be well-stocked on oiled owl feathers.
THE WIZARD. You know, since they have to sit out and dry for a few hours?
THE WIZARD. No need to