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    Happy Parents, Happy Kids: Parenting Advice for the Twenty-First Century
    Happy Parents, Happy Kids: Parenting Advice for the Twenty-First Century
    Happy Parents, Happy Kids: Parenting Advice for the Twenty-First Century
    Ebook124 pages2 hours

    Happy Parents, Happy Kids: Parenting Advice for the Twenty-First Century

    By Daisaku Ikeda

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    About this ebook

    What are the keys to raising happy and healthy children? First andforemost are the life force, wisdom, and love of the parents.Happy Parents, Happy Kids will give all parents essential guidance todevelop themselves as they face the challenges and worries of raisingthe next generation. The SGI president's warm and broad-mindedadvice will serve as reliable guideposts as mothers and fathers seekto build happy families.Topics include:* Respecting each child's individuality* Dealing with delinquency* The importance of parents changing themselves first* How best to discipline* School and studies* Contributing to society
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMiddleway Press
    Release dateApr 1, 2017
    ISBN9781938252853
    Happy Parents, Happy Kids: Parenting Advice for the Twenty-First Century

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      Book preview

      Happy Parents, Happy Kids - Daisaku Ikeda

      Part I

      Family and Parenting

      Children Are the Treasures of the Future

      Children are precious treasures of the future. All children have the right to become happy. No child is without a mission. Parents are exerting themselves every day to raise their children, and their work is truly praiseworthy. I offer them my utmost support. The twenty-first century must be an era in which all parents and children can walk the great path to happiness.

      Children are messengers from the future. We have no choice but to entrust our world to them. I trust children. I believe in their ability to grow and develop. Every child possesses a unique and important mission. For this reason, I treat children with respect, and I give my all in doing so. If we are insincere with children or try to manipulate them, we will regret it later. So whenever I meet with children, I try to create happy memories for them.

      All children are treasures, full of precious potential. Every child embodies hope. Life itself brims with hope. Should children’s hopes be stifled or broken, wouldn’t that be the fault of adults? It pains my heart to see this happening in today’s society. I do not want to see children’s eyes clouded with fear or tears of sadness. Society must be transformed. Children are mirrors that reflect adult society, and when adults are ailing and their vision clouded, children will also suffer. Let us wipe away the tears of sorrow from the face of each child! We must protect children and give them courage, strength, and vitality. Children are the hope of humanity, and it is parents who nurture them. How noble and great a mission and responsibility parents have!

      I wish to make the twenty-first century resound with the laughter of mothers and children. I wish to build a society where children, as the hope of humanity, may grow to be healthy and upright. I wish to protect and encourage all mothers and children, and I will do everything I can for their sake. To protect mothers and children is to protect life itself; it is to nurture peace and protect the future. This is the basis of all, and to this end, I am now exerting my utmost.

      The Importance of Home and Parenting

      Neither politics nor the economy determines the happiness of humanity or the future of society—education does. Education is the foundation of all. Education is a supreme, sacred enterprise, and parenting its cornerstone.

      The Lotus Sutra relates the story of the dragon king’s daughter, or dragon girl, who attained Buddhahood at only eight years of age. Nichiren says, As for the dragon girl, her father is a dragon, and she is his eight-year-old daughter. The two words ‘dragon girl’ imply that both father and daughter attain Buddhahood at the same time (OTT, 106). This teaching has profound meaning. Applied to parenting, it signifies that the parents’ efforts to nurture their child’s zest for life will in turn spark something in the lives of the parents. It will serve as a positive influence for them as well, enabling both parents and children to enjoy lives of the greatest fulfillment.

      The times seem to be moving in a negative direction. Me first is becoming the prevailing trend, the general mood of society. Education is the only means to change this trend. And I believe education at home is crucial. The Swiss educator Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi said that home is the place for moral education. There are many places to acquire knowledge and skills but few where one can learn how to lead a life of humanity. Home, in my opinion, should be the foremost positive influence, or good friend, for children to refine their humanity.

      Never forgetting the debt of gratitude we owe to those who nurtured us, we must act for the sake of our children and future generations. This is the greatest way to repay our debt of gratitude. Those who remember the gratitude they owe others are beautiful. To know and repay one’s debts of gratitude is the way of humanity. Those who do so will live rich lives. On the other hand, those who forget their debts of gratitude are arrogant and will end up leading a lonely and miserable existence.

      Parents’ Love and Sincerity

      There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Possessing both flaws and strengths is part of being human and makes children feel more at ease. It is said that children are more comfortable talking with parents who can admit and talk about their failures than with parents who brag. It is important to make efforts to become a wise parent. But just trying to fit the image of a good parent will make your child suffer. Be true to yourself.

      I try as much as possible to understand the hard work of mothers. I appreciate them and join my palms together in reverence for their efforts. Amid their extremely busy lives at work and at home, they still strive for kosen-rufu. Mothers are the sunlight that illuminates their homes and communities; they are the most praiseworthy people in the world. Children are intently watching their parents’ earnest efforts. When our children ask us: Which is more important, me or your work? Me or your Buddhist activities? we must reply to them clearly, You are the most important. Then we must clearly and confidently explain to our children the reasons we work or engage in Buddhist activities and to what purpose we dedicate our lives for the sake of others. We must not take for granted our children’s understanding and support in this regard. Nor must we use our busy schedules as an excuse not to explain to our children about what we do. We must express our love for our children concretely. If not, even though children may intellectually understand their mothers’ circumstances, they will feel unsatisfied.

      When I interact with youth who are dynamically active in the garden of kosen-rufu, I often sense the wonderful character of their mothers. You do not need to put on airs. You can make mistakes. The greatest treasure a mother can bequeath to her children is her way of life, in which she advances cheerfully and with conviction on the great path of hope.

      The love parents shower on young children will become sustenance for their whole lives. It’s fine just to be simple and honest. You may at times make mistakes, become overwhelmed, or lose your temper. What is most important, however, is to always make wholehearted effort. Children grow up watching their parents. It is not the parents’ words that children hear. No matter what wonderful things parents may say, if their words are not accompanied by action, children will never listen. Children’s lives will be determined by how parents live. The parents’ love and way of life will, like magma beneath the earth’s crust, form the innermost core of children’s hearts and become a source of energy to support the rest of their lives.

      The more children we have, the more challenges we face interacting with each of them. In this regard, it is important to change our usual thinking. For example, if we have four children, instead of thinking we need to divide our affection into four parts, we might instead resolve to multiply it

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