U Chic: The College Girl's Guide to Everything: Dealing with Dorms, Classes, Sororities, Social Media, Dating, Staying Safe, and Making the Most Out of the Best Four Years of Your Life (Grad Gifts)

ALSO BY CHRISTIE GARTON

UCHIC’S GETTING A GRIP ON YOUR FRESHMAN YEAR:

THE COLLEGE GIRL’S FIRST YEAR ACTION PLAN

UCHIC’S DIPLOMA DIARIES: THE CHIC GRAD’S GUIDE

TO WORK, LOVE, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN

Copyright © 2017 by Christie Garton

Cover and internal design © 2017, 2015 by Sourcebooks, Inc.

Cover design by Jillian Rahn/Sourcebooks, Inc.

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All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.—From a Declaration of Principles Jointly Adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

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Originally published as U Chic: The College Girl’s Guide to Everything in 2009 by Sourcebooks, Inc. © 2009, 2011, 2013, 2015 by Christie Garton.

The Library of Congress has cataloged the fourth edition as follows:

Garton, Christie.

Uchic college girls : real advice for your first year (and beyond) / Christie Garton. – Fourth edition.

pages cm

Includes index.

1. College student orientation–United States. 2. Women college students–United States–Life skills guides. I. Title.

LB2343.32.G39 2015

378.1’98–dc23

2015002231

To the women of UChic.com and the 1,000 Dreams Fund, the inspiration behind this book.

MORE TIPS AND STORIES FROM GIRLS WHO’VE BEEN THERE

FOREWORD

WELCOME TO UCHIC: THE COLLEGE GIRL’S GUIDE TO EVERYTHING

CHAPTER 1—GETTING STARTED

GETTING READY FOR THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE

WHAT TO DO THE SUMMER BEFORE COLLEGE

GETTING TO KNOW YOUR ROOMMATE BEFORE YOU ARRIVE ON CAMPUS

HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF FRESHMAN ORIENTATION

HOW TO SURVIVE AND THRIVE WHEN IN THE MINORITY

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

CHAPTER 2—SHARING SPACE AND CAMPUS LIVING

BRINGING SOME SANITY TO DORM-ROOM CHAOS

ROOMMATE DRAMA: RESOLVING TENSION AND CONFLICT

AFTER THE FIRST WEEK: SETTLING INTO YOUR NEW LIFE ON CAMPUS

MAKING FRIENDS

MAKING THE MOVE OFF CAMPUS

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

CHAPTER 3—HEAD OF THE CLASS

TIPS AND TRICKS FOR MAKING THE PERFECT CLASS SCHEDULE

HOW TO GET TO THE TOP

WHICH MAJOR IS FOR ME?

F.I.N.A.L.S.: FUDGE, I NEVER ACTUALLY LEARNED SQUAT!

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

CHAPTER 4—GETTING INVOLVED

DITCH THE DORM, GET A LIFE!

MAKE A DIFFERENCE

TIPS FOR THE BUSY STUDENT ATHLETE

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

CHAPTER 5—SORORITY CHIC

LIFE AS A GREEK

GOING GREEK 101

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

CHAPTER 6—TECH ESSENTIALS FOR AN INSTAGRAM AGE

HOW TO PROTECT YOUR DIGITAL REPUTATION

SOCIAL MEDIA’S DARK SIDE

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

CHAPTER 7—LOVE LIFE

THE SCOOP ON THE COLLEGE DATING SCENE

DIGITAL RULES FOR DATING

LONG-DISTANCE LOVE

IS LOVE POSSIBLE IN AN AGE OF HOOKUPS?

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

CHAPTER 8—STAYING HEALTHY AND SAFE

SEX ED 101

OVER-THE-TOP PARTY PALS AND WAYS TO DEAL

DEALING WITH A DISABILITY ON CAMPUS

STAYING FIT IN COLLEGE

STAYING SAFE ON CAMPUS

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

CHAPTER 9—IF THE GOING GETS TOUGH

OVERCOMING MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES

DEALING WITH DRUGS AND ALCOHOL ON CAMPUS

FACING SEXUAL HARASSMENT

SPEAKING UP AND SPEAKING OUT: ENDING SEXUAL ASSAULT ON CAMPUS

WHAT TO DO IF YOU’RE FAILING

HOW TO DECIDE IF TRANSFERRING IS THE RIGHT DECISION

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

CHAPTER 10—MONEY MATTERS

THE INS AND OUTS OF FINANCIAL AID

AVOIDING THE CREDIT CARD BLACK HOLE

LIVING FABULOUSLY ON A BUDGET

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

CHAPTER 11—THE COLLEGE PERKS

SECRETS FOR LANDING THAT TOP INTERNSHIP

USING SUMMERS WISELY

WHEN TO GO ABROAD

SPRING BREAK OR BUST!

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

CHAPTER 12—FINDING NONTRADITIONAL SUCCESS

CONSIDERING A NONTRADITIONAL PATH? STAYING TRUE TO YOURSELF IS KEY

HOW TO MAKE TRANSFERRING A BREEZE

MOTHER FIRST, STUDENT SECOND: ADVICE FOR PARENTS HEADED TO COLLEGE

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

CHAPTER 13—WHAT’S NEXT?

GRAD SCHOOL OR CAREER? HOW TO DECIDE

THE INS AND OUTS OF NETWORKING

MOVING IN WITH THE PARENTS: HOW TO MAKE IT WORK

SAY BYE-BYE TO GRADUATION ANXIETY

UCHIC ESSENTIALS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

CONTRIBUTORS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

ABOUT UCHIC

Don’t have time to read a whole chapter? Here’s a key to help you find quick tips and stories on the questions you need answered right now!

WHEN YOU’RE NOT GOING TO YOUR FIRST-CHOICE SCHOOL

WHY I CHOSE A HISTORICALLY BLACK COLLEGE OR UNIVERSITY (HBCU)

WHY I CHOSE A WOMEN’S COLLEGE

A FASHIONISTA’S TIPS ON FITTING IT ALL IN

A FEW THINGS TO CONSIDER ASKING YOUR ROOMIE-TO-BE

STAYING TRUE TO YOUR ROOTS

MESS = STRESS

UCHIC TIPS FOR DORM-ROOM BLISS!

COED DORMS ON THE RISE: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

HOW I WORKED THROUGH MY ROOMMATE ISSUES

WHEN ROOMMATES BREAK UP

WHAT TO EXPECT FROM YOUR RESIDENT ASSISTANT

TIPS FOR COMMUNICATING WITH PARENTS

RELYING ON OLD AND NEW FRIENDS

SAVING MONEY ON TEXTBOOKS

WHEN TO DROP A CLASS

ON-CAMPUS RESOURCES FOR STUDENTS DEALING WITH A LEARNING DISABILITY

DON’T BE ASHAMED: SEEK OUT TUTORING AND HOMEWORK SUPPORT!

EMAIL ETIQUETTE

STAYING AHEAD DOES NOT INCLUDE CHEATING

PICKING UP STORIES AND GUYS

FOR THE FUTURE MADAM PRESIDENT

ON- AND OFF-CAMPUS EXTRACURRICULARS

WHY FOLLOWING YOUR INTERESTS MATTERS

THE NEW WAY TO TRAVEL: VOLUNTOURISM

SISTERHOOD: A LIFELONG COMMITMENT

GREEK SPEAK

HOW TO LOOK YOUR BEST DURING SORORITY RECRUITMENT

THE LATEST APPS SWEEPING COLLEGE CAMPUSES

PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM IDENTITY THEFT

TO SWIPE OR NOT TO SWIPE

FRIENDING AND UN-FRIENDING: THE RULES OF THE GAME

THE DOS AND DON’TS OF ONLINE DATING

TAKING A STAND ON ONE-NIGHT STANDS

WHY I CHOSE ABSTINENCE IN COLLEGE

SMARTPHONES AND SAFETY: AVOID PROVIDING TMI

PREVENTING THEFT ON CAMPUS

NOTHING SAYS CRAZY LIKE YOUR VERY OWN STALKER

DEALING WITH DEPRESSION

WHAT TO DO IF YOU OR A FRIEND IS SUICIDAL

HOW I FOUND THE HELP I NEEDED

THE DANGERS OF EATING DISORDERS

DANGEROUS DEPENDENCY: PRESCRIPTION DRUGS

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH SEXUAL HARASSMENT

DITCHING THE VICTIM LABEL

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR FRIEND HAS BEEN RAPED

HOW I MANAGED SCHOOL AND A PART-TIME JOB

INTERNSHIPS: IT’S ALL ABOUT THE SMALL STUFF

FUNDING SUMMER INTERNSHIPS

MORE WAYS TO USE YOUR SUMMER WISELY

WHAT I LEARNED BY TAKING SOME TIME OFF

WHEN YOU MOVE FROM COMMUNITY COLLEGE TO A FOUR-YEAR UNIVERSITY

SIX TIPS FROM COLLEGE MOMS, FROM A MOM

WHY I CHOSE MY CAREER OVER GRAD SCHOOL

NETWORKING: PLAN YOUR ATTACK

FINDING INSPIRATION IN VIRTUAL MENTORS

HOW TO BUILD YOUR DIGITAL NETWORK

USING LINKEDIN TO FIND A JOB

INVOLVING PARENTS IN YOUR JOB SEARCH

From Christie Garton, founder and publisher, UChic.com

Without an older sister growing up, I occasionally had to learn things the hard way. There are advantages to not having to stand in anyone’s shadow, but there were many times when a little tried-and-true advice could have helped, especially during my first few years in college. I definitely would not have registered for eighteen credit hours my first semester in school! After a few detours, roundabouts, and restarts, I eventually found my way through college and into the real world, but things would have been a whole lot easier with the right advice.

This was the inspiration behind this book and UChic.com. I wanted to create a place where college women could come together to find support and advice during one of the most important times of a girl’s life. We worked tirelessly to recruit a group of contributors with a diverse range of experience for the book that you now hold in your hands. I want to thank all of the contributors for being completely open and honest in sharing their personal stories. It is my sincere hope that what you will discover in reading UChic is that we are all sisters in the end.

Whether you’re headed to college or are already there, one thing is certain: college is the time to expand your horizons. You need to experience college in your own way, and our guide is here to help you discover it!

With the endless choices you’ll face in college, you’ll often have questions and find yourself in need of a little advice. Our hope is that you find your answers here. We asked college women across the country to dish about their collegiate experiences, challenges, and successes. The result? A guide that provides you with exclusive advice that could only come from those who have experienced it for themselves. From settling into your new life on campus, to dating, to balancing that all-important budget, to finding the right balance between academics and fun, you will find answers and insights to your important questions in these shared experiences from college women around the country. This is a book that you can turn to throughout your entire college career. But don’t feel like you need to sit down and read the book cover-to-cover (though that certainly won’t hurt anything!). Each of our contributors has answered specific questions, so you can turn right to the section you need, when you need it.

With UChic, the conversation doesn’t stop at the last page. Let’s say you have a specific question that is not directly addressed. You can head to UChic.com for even more great advice from our all-star college contributors. This guide is truly the start of a conversation that can last throughout your entire college career.

So what are you waiting for? Turn the page and be on your way to your own fabulous college experience!

xx,

Christie Garton

Founder

UChic.com

1,000 Dreams Fund

Always remember who you are and where you come from. It’s so easy when you’re thrown into a new environment with thousands of strangers to stray away from your morals and lose yourself.

—KARA A., UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA IN COLUMBIA

1

GETTING STARTED

COLLEGE MAY SEEM FAR off (even for you recent high school graduates with a summer ahead of you), but it’s closer than you think! No matter where you are in your preparations for the exciting transition to college, this chapter has you covered. You probably are already well aware that the transition to college is a major stress. Besides maybe summer camp, when else have you packed up your entire life’s belongings into several boxes and suitcases to head off to an unknown place to live with some random stranger? To help you find your path, this chapter is filled with insider advice on making this transition with confidence and style…and even a little bit of chutzpah!

From the moment I got my acceptance letter to college, I couldn’t stop thinking about my new life that was about to begin. The end of high school could not come fast enough. As excited as I was, I was also a bit anxious. This would be the first time in four years that boys would be in the same classroom with me. This would be my first time ever wearing normal clothes to class. And on top of that, thinking about the new experience of living with three girls I had never met before and being away from my family made me a bundle of nerves. I did my best to hide my anxiety behind my excitement to start a new chapter in my life.

I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I cried hysterically when my mom drove away from my dorm. It was then that I realized I wouldn’t be seeing her the next day. I was being a bit dramatic, but I couldn’t repress how I felt any longer. I had this fantasy that college was going to be a perfect place, and a chance for a new beginning. I think if I had spent more time appreciating my senior year of high school, instead of building up pretend scenarios about college in my mind, I would not have freaked out as much. I learned that the most important expectation you can have about college is that you have to be flexible.

WHEN YOU’RE NOT GOING TO YOUR FIRST-CHOICE SCHOOL

WHEN THINGS DON’T GO AS PLANNED

My freshman year I had a set schedule. I was a cheerleader and worked part time on top of taking a full courseload. It was perfect for my type-A personality. Even to this day, I thrive on routines. This routine turned out to be critical in helping me get used to my new life in college.

However, even with a set schedule and routine, you can’t plan for everything. Life happens and you can either go with it or fight against it. I started at Manhattan College as a business management major. I never would have expected this to happen, but the spring semester of my freshman year, I failed a math class that I needed for my major! I was devastated. I had never gotten a grade lower than a B+, let alone failed a class. I called my mom and she told me I’d have to pay my own way in order to retake the class. So I got a job on campus that summer. I worked full time and saved enough to retake the class. But guess what happened. Even though I had enough money to retake the class, my gut was telling me not to register for it. Was I scared I would fail again? Or was there an even bigger issue? Was this major not right for me?

BEING FLEXIBLE WITH EXPECTATIONS

I spent that fall semester miserable with my classes, but comfortable with my routine. I still had that uneasy feeling in my gut that I may have picked the wrong major.

A friend told me how he was minoring in communications, and that he was loving it; I was instantly intrigued. I made an appointment with the School of Arts advisor and brought up the question of switching majors. I would still have to make up the credit, but it would be a science class. And I was more interested in science than math. Even after talking with the advisor I was hesitant to change the plan I had made for myself during my senior year of high school. It took some time, but I realized I was a different person than I had been two years ago. In a matter of months, I had changed. A few signatures later, I was in the School of Arts, majoring in communications with a public relations concentration.

WHY I CHOSE A HISTORICALLY BLACK COLLEGE OR UNIVERSITY (HBCU)

WHY I CHOSE A WOMEN’S COLLEGE

LOOKING BACK

Fast-forward to the present, I am a proud college alumna working for a nonprofit and volunteering in my hometown. Looking back on my failure I actually see it as a success because it was through my communication courses that I found my strength as a writer. Trust me, life in college didn’t instantly become a breeze after I changed my major. There were a few more hurdles along the way, but it was worth it. Those experiences made me who I am today.

My advice is to savor every moment of the journey of college. Embrace setbacks you may face along the way. Find a support system of friends, professors, mentors, and, of course, your family members to pick you back up. Be willing to do the work, but also be open to changing course when needed. Don’t worry if your plans change, because they will. After all, that is why you are in college—to figure your dreams out and then make a plan to go for them. Sometimes life isn’t what we expect it to be; sometimes it is so much more.

Insights provided by Susan Fiorentino, Manhattan College

Preparing for college is sort of like getting ready for a big trip. There are things to pack, good-byes to say, and plans to coordinate before taking off. While most people (myself included) picture the summer before college as one big graduation party/bonfire/sleepover before parting ways, the reality is that there are several tedious preparations you need to undertake before heading to campus.

Here are some tips that can help you along the way.

MEET THE FUTURE ROOMMATE

I didn’t get to meet my roommates until orientation. But thanks to technology we began chatting, brainstorming, and organizing our dorm before we met in person. (Thanks, social media!) We made a group Pinterest board with room ideas for our suite. We made a Google Doc with major dorm items that each person was bringing, and we had a group chat running to make it easier for all four of us to stay in touch. I had friends who met their new roommates for lunch or coffee one afternoon. This was doable because they both lived close to campus. This provided them with just a little more confidence heading into move-in weekend and orientation.

WELLNESS PREP

I had my mind set on avoiding the infamous Freshman 15, but I soon realized that staying healthy at school was so much more than worrying about gaining weight. I had to make sure I had all of the shots and tests required by my school, in addition to medications I needed to have with me in my dorm. I also made a little pharmacy basket, with Tylenol, allergy medicine, a thermometer, Tums, extra contacts, and Band-Aids to have with me, as I wouldn’t have a car on campus. It’s also a good idea to have a physical before you leave, just to make sure that you’re caught up with your doctor and health plan—surprises once getting to school are not fun!

LIFE SKILLS TO DEVELOP

Unless you like learning the hard way, you should learn how to do laundry before you go off to college. (Yes, there are a few among us that still don’t know how to do laundry.) I can be a little messy, so my mom taught me how to get tough stains out and gave me a little guide with home remedies for different spills. These tips helped. I didn’t shrink any jeans or turn white clothes pink. Thanks to tapping mom’s expertise on these matters, I was confident going into school. Also, watch for notes from housing or your RA addressing details about laundry. During the semester I had to switch from laundry pods to regular detergent because of the type of washing machine in my dorm. Those notes can make all the difference.

A FASHIONISTA’S TIPS ON FITTING IT ALL IN