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    You Got This: Mastering the Skill of Self-Confidence
    You Got This: Mastering the Skill of Self-Confidence
    You Got This: Mastering the Skill of Self-Confidence
    Ebook126 pages2 hours

    You Got This: Mastering the Skill of Self-Confidence

    By Ivan Joseph

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    About this ebook

    Whether on the field, at the office or in the home: self-confidence is one of the biggest factors differentiating success from failure. Time and again, studies show that the happiest, most successful people have deep-rooted grit: the ability to persevere despite setbacks.

    Award-winning coach, mentor and speaker Ivan Joseph shares a supportive, original guide to developing your own. Contrary to popular thinking, Joseph shows that self-confidence is a skill that can be trained and honed.

    And he should know. Born in Guyana and brought up in poverty in Toronto, Joseph earned multiple sports scholarships throughout his athletic career, led multiple sports teams to national victories, and continues to develop his own ‘grit’ as an internationally renowned speaker.

    Taking strategies learned from the field, Joseph offers a definitive, step-by-step approach to deepening your own self-confidence. Uplifting stories and practical exercises within the book help you to develop resilience, team building, higher expectations and focus.
    Shared passionately with supportive, no-nonsense writing, You Got This is a transformative ‘coach’ for ambitious individuals looking to change their lives for the better.

    Dr. Ivan Joseph is Head of Athletics at Ryerson University, where he is responsible for a $100 million redevelopment project. He has developed soccer programs that have led to both men’s and women’s teams nationally ranking as #1; won Coach of the Year at the Heart of America Athletic Conference three times; and has won multiple national-level athletic competitions. He holds a BA in Physical Education and Health from Graceland, an MS in Higher Education Administration from Drake University and a PhD in Sports Psychology from Capella University.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherIvan Joseph
    Release dateMay 9, 2017
    ISBN9780995830011
    You Got This: Mastering the Skill of Self-Confidence
    Author

    Ivan Joseph

    Dr. Ivan Joseph is Head of Athletics at Ryerson University, where he is responsible for a $100 million redevelopment project. He has developed soccer programs that have led to both men’s and women’s teams nationally ranking as #1; won Coach of the Year at the Heart of America Athletic Conference three times; and has won multiple national-level athletic competitions. He holds a BA in Physical Education and Health from Graceland, an MS in Higher Education Administration from Drake University and a PhD in Sports Psychology from Capella University.

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      Book preview

      You Got This - Ivan Joseph

      title page

      Copyright © 2017 by Ivan Joseph

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written consent of the publisher or a licence from The Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency (Access Copyright). For a copyright licence, visit www.accesscopyright.ca or call toll free to 1-800-893-5777.

      Calypso Groves Press

      Toronto ON

      Cataloguing data available from Library and Archives Canada

      ISBN 978-0-9958300-0-4 (print)

      ISBN 978-0-9958300-1-1 (ebook)

      Produced by Page Two

      www.pagetwostrategies.com

      Copy editor: Lindsay Humphreys

      Cover and interior design by Peter Cocking

      Ebook by Bright Wing Books (www.brightwing.ca)

      To each and every one of you who has felt the pain of defeat and the paralysis of failure: believe in yourself and find that one person who believes in you no matter what.

      This book is dedicated to my rock: Polly Joseph.

      CONTENTS

      1 – Become a Crazy One:

      The Skill of Self-Confidence

      2 – Repetition, Repetition, Repetition:

      How to Acquire a Skill

      3 – Think You Can:

      The Skill of Positive Thought

      4 – Select Excellence:

      The Skill of Team Building

      5 – Get Up Again:

      The Skill of Grit

      6 – Strive for More:

      The Skill of Higher Expectations

      7 – Pay Attention:

      The Skill of Focus

      8 – Find Your Why:

      Discovering Your Transcendent Purpose

      9 – One Step at a Time:

      The Daily Journey to Self-Confidence

      Acknowledgments

      Ivan’s Recommended Reads

      About Dr. Ivan Joseph

      1

      BECOME A CRAZY ONE

      THE SKILL OF SELF-CONFIDENCE

      If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.

      MAHATMA GANDHI

      ONE SUNDAY NIGHT in 2014, I sat looking out over the Dallas skyline from the window of a fancy room that had been provided for me at the Hilton Anatole. It was late and I needed to be up early to deliver the keynote address at the general session of the Women’s Foodservice Forum (WFF) Annual Leadership Development Conference. There would be three thousand people in the room—far and away the largest group I had ever spoken to—all seeking guidance for their personal leadership journey. My topic, the skill of self-confidence, was familiar to me. I had delivered it dozens of times, mostly to students and small groups of leaders. And though my 2012 TEDx Talk, much to my surprise, now has over 8 million views, the idea of speaking to three thousand professionals had me quivering, thinking to myself, I’m going to do this? Are you kidding me?! Speaking to a group in return for a T-shirt, coffee mug, bottle of wine or warm pat on the back is easy—you just go up there and do it, no pressure. But the WFF folks were serious about achieving success and were paying me a lot of money to speak. For goodness’ sake, Maya Angelou was one of the other speakers! I was way out of my league.

      Since I had arrived at the conference, the organizers had treated me like royalty. I’d attended their opening-night event, which included the presentation of the Trailblazer Award to one of the prominent leaders in their community. I had toured the space where I would be speaking. I had walked around the opulent hotel and taken in the stunning lights, pools and spaces. And now I was sitting in this huge room with my head spinning, ready to curl up and die. Self-doubt had taken over. Forget about being an expert in self-confidence: I felt lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut. I sat there looking out over the city and asking, "What am I doing here? Note the emphasis on the I."

      NO ONE WILL BELIEVE IN YOU UNLESS YOU DO.

      Part of my struggle that night had to do with my history. I came to Canada from Guyana at age five when my older sister, Pam, and I flew to Toronto with nothing but the clothes we were wearing. There, we met our parents, who had left home five years before, two weeks after my birth. They were part of the bright flight—an exodus of educated Guyanese who were fleeing from the Communist regime and seeking a better life in England and North America. Back home, my father had been a sugar plantation manager, but when he completed a bachelor of science degree at McGill University in Montreal, there was no job to be found in his field and no prospect of returning to Guyana. So when Pam and I joined our parents, we lived at Jane and Finch, one of the poorest neighborhoods in Toronto, known equally for its honest, hardworking, low-income population and for the highest concentration of criminal gangs in the country. We were as poor as potatoes; my father sold encyclopedias door-to-door at night to get by. He also got up at 4 a.m. every day to hitchhike north to a dairy farm outside the city limits, where he worked as a laborer. In time, we moved closer to that farm once we could afford a small apartment. And then eventually the farm owner, Lorne Goodwill (his actual name!), offered us a small house on his property and even provided us with some furnishings and clothing. When I was old enough, I worked the farm side by side with Lorne’s son, Robert, who was the same age and like a brother to me. It was the classic immigrant upbringing where nothing is taken for granted. It was also a life filled with the love of family and the certainty that only hard work will get you where you want to go.

      Sitting in that elegant hotel magnified my sensation that I was out of place. What did I have to offer a room full of successful business leaders? So I tried to focus on how I ended up in that room. Random images came to mind. Moments in my life when I had faced adversity or started something new. Times when I had overcome an obstacle even though it seemed unlikely or even impossible that I could succeed. Thinking about it, I came up with a pretty long list.

      First, I thought about my experiences at Joseph A. Gibson Public School, north of Toronto. I stood out like a raisin in a sugar bowl there—my sister Pam and I were two of only four black kids in the entire school. Color stopped at Steeles Avenue in those days because public transit only ran that far north. I used to get in fights when local kids picked on me for my Guyanese accent because I had not yet learned to speak Canadian.

      Then I remembered the weekend Robert and I were put in charge of the entire dairy farm at age 11. We ran ourselves ragged, alternately panicking and laughing hysterically as we milked and mucked and oversaw the entire operation.

      I remembered growing up playing rep soccer with kids three years older than me. Pam played with the boys because there were no girls’ teams and my dad only had time to coach one team—so I had to play up every year. I remembered attending Bayview Secondary School and being so poor that my track coach gave me a gym bag so I wouldn’t have to carry my clothes and shoes around in a plastic grocery bag.

      Then I thought about my university education. When I was in my senior year of high school, a recruiter from Graceland University in Iowa offered me a dual track and soccer scholarship. At the time, I thought going to school in Iowa would be like an episode of Green Acres, so I turned it down, opting instead to attend Laurentian University in Ontario. I had been a gym rat throughout high school and Laurentian had a renowned sport

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