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    The Meanderings of Bing
    The Meanderings of Bing
    The Meanderings of Bing
    Ebook125 pages1 hour

    The Meanderings of Bing

    By Tim Harnden Taylor

    ()

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    About this ebook

    The other day I was ruminating on the fact that, not for the first time, I was wearing different coloured socks and whether anyone had or would notice, when the boy wandered into the study.
    ‘What’s up, Bing?’ He looked at the ceiling.
    ‘The light, guv.’
    ‘No, I mean, what’s going on?’
    ‘The light if it gets dark.’

    Followers of the highly popular blog Lines From My Forehead will need no introduction to the weird and wonderful world of the dog of rather large brain Bing as he wanders through his days with guv Tim. Together they ponder the great philosophical mysteries of life. Just what is the point of snowboarding? Why do buzzers and whizzers disturb peaceful summer days? Above all, where are the treats? Upside down television, squeaky balls and ducks are all viewed in the gentle, humorous world of Bing and Tim.
    My name is Bing (short for Bingo Little of Lowtown) and I am a Grand Basset Griffon Vendeen. I live with Tom, Angela and an Arthur but I spend a couple of days each week with the guv Tim. Between you and me, I’m needed there as he’s getting rather forgetful. So to help keep his brain active, I ask him questions about all the things that puzzle me. Though it has to be said, he’s not got much more of a clue than me.....
    Tim Harnden-Taylor was born in London NW8 and now lives towards the end of the red underground line in 'Lowtown'. He trained in Birmingham as an actor and singer, later enjoying several years in the professional theatre, both in the provinces and in London's West End. A lifetime's love of classical music eventually found him at the old store in Oxford Street at HMV. Computers were still in their infancy, therefore an encyclopaedic knowledge of recordings was a must. Other jobs followed and the need to write/scribble has always been there. Enter Bing and his enquiring mind. The journey continues...

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSaron Publishers
    Release dateApr 21, 2017
    ISBN9780995649514
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      Book preview

      The Meanderings of Bing - Tim Harnden Taylor

      ‘Have you a moment, Bing?’

      ‘Probabubberly, guv, what’s afoot?’

      ‘Twelve inches, ha-ha!’

      ‘I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, old wrinkly chops.’

      ‘I see. Well, let’s start again.’

      ‘Right-ho.’

      ‘The thing is, young lad, you need to supply an introduction for your book.’

      ‘Hurrah and such! Just a couple of minor points, guv.’

      ‘Yes?’

      ‘What’s an introduction? AND more importantly …’

      ‘Yes, Bing?’

      ‘What’s a book?’ The gaze I get from the lad appears to be innocent and yet I can’t help believing he knows very well their meanings.

      ‘You know the shelves in my study?’

      ‘The room where you go for a snooze and such, guv?’

      I choose to ignore this slight.

      ‘There are lots of shelves and on ’em are books.’

      ‘Ah, so that’s what they are. I’ve noticed you stare at them a lot when you’re not snoozing.’ Another slight to be ignored and … I plough on.

      ‘Well, most of them have an introduction.’

      ‘I see … so what’s an introduction, guv?’

      ‘It tells the prospective reader what to expect within the pages.’

      ‘Well, blow me down.’

      ‘And in your book, a bit about you.’

      ‘Me? Well, I’m a hound that lives in Lowtown and my pals are Tom, Angela and an Arthur. I have various duties of course.’

      ‘Duties?’

      ‘Well, one very important one really.’

      ‘Which is?’

      ‘You know very well. Tom and Angela go to work while an Arthur goes to school and so forth. Meanwhile, I come to spend the day with you at least twice a week.’

      ‘I see.’

      ‘On the whole, old poop, you are quite well behaved but you obviously need the company of a hound to keep you on track. In short, to stop you wandering, staring into space and snoozing.’

      ‘Oh I say.’

      ‘You can ‘oh’ as much as you like, old puffer, but that is what I do.’

      ‘And Alison?’

      ‘Well, she’s the sensible one in this ’ere establishment.’

      ‘I see.’

      ‘Do you, guv, do you?’

      ‘I think so.’

      ‘Right, so let’s get this introduction sorted.’

      ‘I think we’ve got enough for the moment, Bing.’

      ‘Really?’

      ‘Yes.’

      ‘Tip-top, so how about a snack?’

      ‘Snack?’

      ‘Well, we book people require some form of sustenance.’

      ‘Sustenance?’

      ‘Certainly, guv, certainly.’

      Bing has gone … I’ll find him sitting very neatly next to the snack tin.

      Meanwhile …

      Welcome to the World of Bing!

      IF YOU HAPPENED TO BE…

      If you happened to be toddling along a particular path, enjoying the sights and sounds of this corner of England the other day, you may well have spotted a chap staring into space, accompanied by a hound trundling about in the close vicinity, inspecting the surrounds. I’m sure, around this dear old world, such events also happen and are not particularly remarkable. However, IF you had perchance stumbled upon this particular scene, you might well have been slightly disturbed, as these companions appeared to be in deep conversation and completely unaware of your presence. Sensibly you may well have decided to give this pair a wide berth and continue your jaunt. IF though, you were naturally inquisitive by nature and desirous of further knowledge of this event, you would naturally have found a suitable spot and observed the following …

      ‘Are you sure, guv?’

      ‘Well, Bing, I know I had ’em when we started out.’

      ‘M’mmm. Guv, as you well know, I’m not one to cast nasturtiums.’

      ‘Aspersions, Bing.’

      ‘Whatever. But it has to be said, your mind easily wanders and it’s quite possible you might have nibbled on one and then, having got the taste for ’em, chomped on the rest!’

      ‘Bingo, this is too much. I can be accused of many things but partaking of a pal’s treats is most definitely not one of them.’

      From your safe spot, you would have noticed the gent this time carefully check each pocket in the coat, removing various bits and pieces. This manoeuvre was repeated with the jacket beneath and then the trouser pockets as well. Meanwhile, the hound had trotted around the tree stump the aged gent sat upon and, snuffling around a particular patch, addressed his companion.

      ‘Might this be what you’re looking for, guv?’

      ‘Good heavens, Bing, how did that drop out of my poacher’s pocket?’

      ‘Poacher’s pocket? Cor, you live in another world! The only poaching you attempt, old poop, is with an egg!’

      ‘Bingo, I am not entirely inefficient in pursuit of the old culinary delights and so forth.’

      ‘And such like?’

      ‘Quite.’

      After this brief exchange, you would have spotted the dog’s tail wagging as treats were received. After this, the gent went through a repeat performance of the pocket-patting routine, this time producing the familiar green tube known as ‘Polo’s the mint with the hole.’

      And there, I think we should leave them, both happily munching and contemplating the rest of their stroll. Whilst you wonder what all that was about!

      SOCKS….

      It’s possible by now you will have realised my time spent with the Grand Basset Griffon Vendeen, known as Bingo, has probably been beneficial to us both. It has to be said, his questions about all that is new to him have made me reassess what I actually know about whatever it is he’s questioning. This may, of

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