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    How to Grieve: Even when you don't want to
    How to Grieve: Even when you don't want to
    How to Grieve: Even when you don't want to
    Ebook42 pages31 minutes

    How to Grieve: Even when you don't want to

    By Valerie Ihsan

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    About this ebook

    How to Grieve is a how-to guide with practical tips on every page and resource lists at the back of the booklet. Specifically designed with the death of a partner or spouse in mind, How to Grieve: Even When You Don't Want To is applicable to any loss: a child, friend, pet, or divorce.

    This booklet offers succinct, practical, and accessible information for those looking for guidance in the face of grief and loss of a loved one. In her non-threatening and down-to-earth style, Ms. Willman validates and acknowledges the many manifestations of grief while empowering the reader to explore their own experiences of grieving.

    ~ Cara Young, LCSW, Hospice Social Worker

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWillow Bench Books
    Release dateMay 5, 2017
    ISBN9780997581034
    How to Grieve: Even when you don't want to
    Author

    Valerie Ihsan

    Valerie Ihsan writes memoir and women's mainstream fiction. She’s a certified Three Story Method editor, specializing in Story Diagnostics and helping memoirists with structure and theme. She co-chaired the Eugene Chapter of Willamette Writers for ten years, has taught classes and workshops on writing, self-publishing, and grief. She loves dogs and lives in the Pacific Northwest.

    Read more from Valerie Ihsan

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      Book preview

      How to Grieve - Valerie Ihsan

      How to Grieve

      You are not alone.

      How to Grieve

      EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO

      VALERIE IHSAN

      How To Grieve: Even When You Don’t Want To

      Valerie Ihsan

      How To Grieve: Even When You Don’t Want To © 2014 Valerie Ihsan

      All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

      Printed in the United States of America

      Cover Design: paperandsage.com

      Contents

      Foreword

      1. Afterwards

      2. At Home and Work

      3. Reaching Out

      4. Carrying On

      5. And Beyond

      6. Even Later

      About the Author

      7. Smell the Blue Sky: Young, Pregnant, and Widowed

      8. Free Offer

      Foreword

      When I was 26, I told my husband, Rob, we were finally pregnant with our second child. We’d been trying for eight months. Later that same day, Rob died. He’d fallen asleep driving and hit a highway signpost.

      I was pregnant and was now a widow. I had a 22-month-old daughter.

      I didn’t know how to be a widow. I didn’t know any widows. I had no road map, no blueprints. There was no how-to guide—and prior to 9/11 there weren’t many books on grieving a spouse at such a young age.

      Let this booklet be that guide for you.

      —Certified Bereavement Facilitator since 2004; Widow since 2000.

      Afterwards

      After you’ve heard the news, everything is a normal reaction. You could cry, scream, stare at the wall, rock your- self, eat, or throw up. It’s all normal. There’s no one right way to grieve.

      LET SOMEONE KNOW. Let your family/friends/neighbors help you. You can’t do this alone. Most likely someone else will pick up the reins at this point and finish notifying whoever needs knowing. Food will materialize. Your house chores will start being done by others, and you can continue to stare at the wall. That’s what I did. I cried, too, but mostly I just sat. And waited. For whatever was going to happen next.

      MAKE ONLY IMMEDIATE DECISIONS. There’ll be plenty of other little things you’ll be called upon to deal with. Don’t worry about the long-term stuff right now. The mainstream advice is not to make any major decisions right after a tragedy. Some- times it can’t be helped—like approving an organ transplant, or needing to move out of the rental house that you can no longer afford on one salary—but put off whatever you can. I was fortunate enough to not have to decide anything

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