Lost Without You: Winters Book 2

Dedication

I would like to say thank you to Mary Smith of Gone Writing Publishing for her belief in this project and for loving Hope & Rafe as much as I do. To Rebi of Editing by Rebecca, you totally rock girlfriend! Thank you for all the funny side notes and great conversation over the last several months. My family I thank you for your love and support of my choice to write. I love you all more than you will ever know & your support means the world to me. To my cousin Ivy Profen, many thanks to you for answering my questions and giving me the much needed insight into Rick & Liam. To all the men & women serving in our Armed Forces & their families, thank you from the bottom my heart for all that you do. God bless each and every one of you past, present, & future.

Chapter 1

HOPE

I couldn’t believe I was getting married again! It was definitely not something I’d ever thought possible, especially to a man as wonderful as Rafe. There was still a part of me that feared that this was too good to be true. In my life, nothing had ever been the way I hoped it would be. I was afraid there would always be a part of me that was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. So far there hasn’t been anything to make me doubt our future.

That’s not to say we were perfect, far from it. We also had little disputes about leaving the toilet seat up, especially in the middle of the night; that’s a shock to your system when you are basically one of the walking dead at O’ dark thirty. There were also disagreements about which way the toilet paper should go on the dispenser, who’s turn it was to load the dishwasher or make dinner. You know, stupid stuff.

Planning a wedding was creating stress that neither of us was used to dealing with. Now, decisions had to be made about what type of wedding we were going to have and what date the big day was going to be. Rafe assured me that he did not care how big, where, or when the ceremony was; he would be waiting for me at the altar with a smile. He told me had no preference as long as we said I do; that was all he wanted. Everything had been going so well that I couldn’t help the feeling I have that something was churning out there, ready to crash into me and drag me under. We had been engaged for a couple of weeks now and I had an uneasy feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach. It was the same feeling I got so often when I was married before, and it was rarely wrong.

Rafe has been busy at work and Lilli and I have picked up more clients and events. Maybe, the long hours and being tired have thrown off my radar. I hope that was the case. Hopefully, tonight I could t cut out of work a little early and get home before Rafe does. Maybe I could try to close some of this distance that has been creeping up between us. At least that is what I was hoping would happen. Because if I heard It’s nothing, it’s just work, one more time, I might lose it.

RAFE

My business was doing well, and the woman I love was wearing my ring. I really was a very happy man and wanted nothing more than to become Hope’s husband. Lately, I’d been tense, somewhat distant, and distracted. Things from my past were threatening to bubble up, and I was desperate to keep them from ruining my relationship with Hope. I’d given up my womanizing ways several years ago and began trying to find my other half. Now that I have found her, I don’t want anything to destroy that. Keri Devereux and women like her are the reason I gave up that lifestyle. Keri is a venomous person who only wants to marry a rich man to elevate her status. Her goal is to become a trophy wife.

As I’ve gotten older, and the women seemed to stay somewhat young, they were a means for me to scratch an itch and I was a meal ticket for them. No one was truly interested in Raphael Lacroix the man; they were only interested in my bank account. Hope wasn’t like those other women, and I would travel through the fires of hell to keep her. I know Hope could tell something was bothering me, and she was getting tired of my standard response about it being work related.

Once I was assured that Keri wasn’t going to be a problem, I would be able to relax and rest easy again. Lately, she had been trying to contact me and wanted to talk. She has chased me for years and was not thrilled with the fact that I’d chosen someone besides her, someone like Hope. But the heart wanted what the heart wanted, and my heart belonged to Hope.

We had one night, years ago, and Keri has never given up. That was all she had been to me, one night. Obviously not the wisest decision I’ve ever made, considering she was a friend of the family and we ran in the same circles. Starting tonight, I was going try to put all this shit out of my mind and focus on just enjoying the woman waiting for me at home. Monday, I’d do damage control with Keri, see what she was up to, and why she wanted to talk to me.

Chapter 2

HOPE

You all right, Hope? Lilli’s question broke through my mental ramblings.

Yeah. Why? I finally answered her.

Well, you just seem preoccupied and not very chatty today.

Oh sorry. Just lost in thought, I guess.

Now see, I’m not sure that’s a good thing, she said with a wink and a smile. I couldn’t help smiling back at her.

That all depends on whether or not I am plotting something. I tried to sound less concerned with my previous thoughts so that she didn’t worry.

Oooohhh do tell. If you’re plotting something I want to know about it, so I can help.

I’m not plotting anything. Yet.

Uh huh. So there is hope for some fun after all.

So how are things going with you?

Good. A one-word response and a blush could only mean one thing: Keegan.

Just good? I questioned as I loaded dishes into the shops dishwasher.

Yes, very good. I turned to look at her, and she had a huge smile on her face. So I take it that Keegan is the reason for the very good?

Maybe.

I’m so happy to see you smile like that. It’s been way too long. Her happiness was infectious and I was smiling right along with her.

How’s the wedding planning shaping up?

To be honest, we haven’t done much planning yet. Rafe says he doesn’t care about the place or date, as long as I walk down the aisle to him. Just to tell him where and when and he will be there waiting for me at the altar with a smile and his love.

Oh my! Wow! How do you feel about it?

I’m okay with eloping if need be.

Oh no, I don’t think so sister! You aren’t getting married without me there. She chastised me with a smile in her voice.

Don’t worry, I’ll keep ya in the loop.

You better. Is the wedding planning what has you out of sorts today?

Not really. It’s Rafe.

Is he okay? Everything all right? She was concerned now, and I could hear it in her voice.

He’s just been kind of distant lately. He keeps saying it is work related and I shouldn’t worry.

You’re not buying that?

Not one hundred percent, no. I just have this gut feeling that there is more to it and it bothers me that he is keeping me at arms-length.

Have you tried to talk to him about it?

Yeah, he just insists that it is work related and changes the subject or tries to distract me.

Oh, I see. What do you think is going on?

I don’t know. What if he is having second thoughts about asking me to marry him?

Honey, I don’t think that’s it at all. He adores you. Maybe you should try talking to him again.

I hope you’re right. I know there is something weighing on him, and it’s frustrating that he is shutting me out.

Hey, I can totally understand that.

Has Keegan mentioned anything about Rafe acting strange at work?

Not that I can think of, but I’ll see if I can pick his brain later.

Don’t do that; I’ll talk to Rafe this weekend, and if he doesn’t open up, I will give you the go ahead to involve Keegan.

All right, if you’re sure that’s how you want to handle it.

For now. I’ll give him the weekend and then call in reinforcements if needed.

Okay.

We’re done here for the day. How about we close up and start our weekend a little early? I suggested to her. I knew she would go with the idea.

Sounds great! I’ll see ya Monday morning, doll.

Sounds good. See ya then. Have a good weekend. I’ll talk to you later, I’m sure.

You bet, Hope. With a wave, she was out the door. I stayed behind to lock up and set the alarm before climbing in my car and heading home.

On my drive home, I decided I wanted us to head to the beach house for the weekend. After pulling into the garage, parking my car, and walking into the house, I packed us a bag for the weekend. Maybe the beach would breathe new life into us and ease the tension. Rafe wouldn’t be home for a few more hours, so I grabbed a shower. After my shower, I decided to fire off a text to Rafe, to see if he might be able to leave the office early. It was Friday after all. What good was it being the boss if you couldn’t cut out a little early occasionally?

Are you busy?

I’m never too busy for you sweetheart.

You’re sweet.:) Are you sure I’m not disturbing you?

Absolutely sure. Are you still at work?

Nope. We closed early for the weekend.

Oh? Wanted to start your weekend early huh?

Something like that. But I do have a question for you.

What would you like to know?

Would you be opposed to spending the weekend at the beach house?

That sounds like a great idea, Hope. ;)

Wonderful! Is there any chance you could leave the office a little early to head out?

I should be able to leave around four.

Are you sure you can’t leave now?

Quickly, I took a photo of me in just my towel, attached it to the message, and hit send.

Oh my god woman! I just about choked on my water when I opened that message.

You like the pic?

Very much. I’m leaving the office now. DO NOT put any clothes on yet. I’ll be right home.

See ya soon.

RAFE

That photo made my decision very easy and quick. I couldn’t get out of the office fast enough. What the hell, might as well use the boss card and leave early. I supposed it should be one of the perks. I turned off my computer, office lights, locked the door behind me, and headed for home.

Jane, I’m heading home early and will see you Monday.

Okay. Have a good weekend, Mr. Lacroix.

You too. You’re more than welcome to leave a little early as well.

Thank you. See you Monday.

The drive home was fairly short, and it seemed to take forever to get there. Knowing that a naked Hope was waiting for me made the drive torturous. Finally, I pulled into the garage. As I walked into the house, I started removing my shoes, suit jacket, tie, and started unbuttoning my shirt.

As I turned the corner to the living room my breathing stopped and so did my feet. Hope was lying on the sofa completely naked. She had her eyes closed, but I knew she wasn’t asleep.

Don’t stop on my account, she told me with a sly smile and a breathy voice.

Smiling at her, I quickly removed the rest of my clothes and walked over to the sofa. When I was beside her, she reached up and took my already hardened cock in her hand. My next breath came out as a hiss at the wonderful sensations her touch sent coursing through my body.

Baby, that feels so good.

I’m glad to hear you say that.

You look sexy lying there naked on our sofa, just waiting for me to take you.

So come down here and take me then. Her pupils were dilated and I could smell the musky scent of her desire and her wetness shining on her pussy. Such a heady sight and my dick throbbed in response to it and wanted to be buried deep inside her.

I quickly joined her on the sofa and rolled us to where she was on top, straddling my hips. Pulling her face down to mine, I captured her mouth in a very deep kiss. She moaned and relaxed into my chest, causing her luscious breasts to press against me. She broke the kiss off and rose up slightly, then slid down on me, sheathing and burying my cock inside her hot core.

Aaahhhh, she moaned. I met her thrust for thrust. She looked down at me and smiled. Oh, I loved this woman with all my heart. Her breathing grew faster and I knew she was close. My dick swelled even more and my release was hovering just below the surface. When her orgasm hit, she scraped her nails down my chest, and I erupted inside her.

Yessss! Oh My God Rafe!

Hope! was all I could manage as my climax tore through me. She collapsed on my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her. She lifted her head and kissed me softly.

I love you, Rafe.

And I love you, sweetheart.

Welcome home, she said with a smirk, and I swatted her bare ass. It caused her to gasp and then she giggled.

You can welcome me home this way whenever you want, darlin’.

Chapter 3

HOPE

I was completely relaxed and loved being in his arms, sated. Begrudgingly, I rose from the sofa and off Rafe’s body. Come on, stud. Let’s get a move on if we’re going to beat the weekend traffic onto the island. I told him with a smile.

All right, if you insist, he responded with one of his sexy ass smiles. He really was lethal. Well, to me at least, anyway.

We just need to throw on some clothes and then we can be on our way.

Hope, we need to pack a bag for the weekend.

Nope, already taken care of and ready to go. Anything else we need should already be out there. Other than groceries, of course.

Well, you certainly took care of the basics.

Didn’t want to waste valuable time packing. Especially when there were more exciting, fun, and fulfilling activities to engage in, I informed him with a shy smile and a wink.

We were dressed and out the door within ten minutes. We climbed into his car, put the top down, and headed for our beach sanctuary. I couldn’t wait to get away, just the two of us, for a couple of days. Away from work and the stress that seemed to have taken up residence within him. It would a chance to be alone and reconnect.

The sex was always great, but I missed the other aspects of intimacy. I missed just being close to him without any outside distractions. I missed being curled up in his arms on the couch, watching a movie or walking on the beach together, or going for a swim in the pool. He had been so distracted and distant the last few weeks, and I was praying this weekend get-a-way would take us back to that place.

We stopped at a local market when we arrived on Emerald Isle to pick up enough groceries and drinks for the next couple of days. Once we reached the house, we put everything away. With a little time to kill before dinner, I thought I would get him to relax a little and try to entice him to open up to me.

I stood in front of the sliding doors that led out to the deck and watched the wave’s crash onto shore. Very gently, Rafe wrapped his arms around my waist, and he placed a quick, soft kiss just below my right ear.

Instinctively, I leaned back into him and placed my arms over his. Mmmmm, was my only response.

Beautiful view, isn’t it? he asked.

Yes it is. I love it here.

Me too. When we’re here, it’s just us and we can escape into our own private world for a while.

I couldn’t agree more, I told him as I turned around in his arms to face him. Reaching up, I placed my hand on his cheek, and he kissed my palm. Smiling, I placed a quick kiss on his lips.

He pulled me tighter into his body, molding my front to his. So what do you want to do this evening? Rafe asked me.

Well, I was thinking maybe a light dinner and then curl up to watch a movie.

That sounds perfect.

Together, we went into