Singles, Stop the Fun!: How to Package Yourself for an Honourable Marriage

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INTRODUCTION

Many singles today in a bid to catch fun are weeping and full of regrets. Some ended up with a Leah Relationship; settling for what they are not prepared for. (Jacob had to manage his marriage to Leah because he claimed that he mistakenly got committed. See Genesis 29 and 30). Others have missed their opportunities to be honorably married and are praying harder today because when their time came, they were busy catching fun. They lived carelessly to the detriment of their destiny not knowing that sin stings.

Some even live a double standard life and still believe that everything will work together for their good. But you can’t eat your cake and have it too. Esau tried it and he regretted for life. When you don’t do what you ought to do at the right time, you struggle unnecessarily to get it done when it is too late. You are either preparing yourself for a glorious marriage or you are setting yourself up for painful surprises. What you don’t prepare for, you may never experience. A glorious marriage is not a gift neither is it a wish. There are so many things you need to put in place in your life to emerge a complete package ready to be honorably married and most of these packaging is a personal responsibility you must accept.

This book is born out of a deep meditation and concern for singles all across the globe. The Lord spoke to my heart and He said to me: "Let My sons and daughters know that:

·      I am not behind their frustrations.

·      I am not behind their failures in relationship.

·      I am not behind their series of disappointments.

·      I am not behind their delays.

·      If only they will be sincere with themselves and stop playing games with their lives, they will be married in no distant time."

Beloved, it is not age that is stopping you from getting married. It is not even tribe. Neither is it educational qualification or social status. It is simply a function of your attitude. It is my prayer that as you journey with me through this book, you will discover how to package yourself to meet with your God-ordained partner in life. Get this right: God’s standards and principles are authentic and universal. They answer any day and anytime to everyone that dares to practice them; black or white, rich or poor, educated or illiterate. God has never compromised His terms before, so He cannot bend because of you and me. Get ready for a most remarkable and explosive encounter of your life. You will never remain the same again.

Welcome to your season of visitation!

Chapter 1

The Fun of Receiving Free Gifts

And Saul said, I will give her to him, that she may be a snare to him, and that the hand of the Philistine may be against him. Wherefore Saul said to David, Thou shalt this day be my son in law in the one of the twain.

1 Samuel 18:21

Gifts are messages. It is true that the gift of a man will make room for him. (Proverbs 18:16). But in the case of King David, Saul intended to snare him with the offer of one of his daughters as a free wife to finish him. Beware of free things. We appreciate gifts. Jesus said, Give and it shall be given unto you. Luke 6:38, but inasmuch as we appreciate gifts, there is need to be cautious of the source of the gifts.

Some people compromise their values for the receipt of wrong gifts from wrong people who have wrong intentions.

It is dangerous to collect gifts from a man you don’t want. Some men are quite diabolic; you never can tell what words and spirits are released on a so-called gift. If you love gifts so much, you won’t see well. Gifts blind people who have no principle for their lives. The receipt of some gifts help some singles to compromise very fast.

Gifts sentence undisciplined people to the path of compromise. Wrong gifts lure people to settle for cheap alternatives. Evil gifts push people to cover the truth and settle for lies. If you love gifts so much it may work against your will and suppress your good conscience. Some gifts make people to stumble and derail, causing them to be part of the evil instead of departing from evil.

When I was single, I said No to some gifts from young men because; I sensed the motive behind such gifts were wrong. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not condemning the law of giving and receiving here. I am an ardent giver and I receive gifts too, but wisdom is profitable to direct. (Ecclesiastes 10:10). It is not all gifts that blesses. Some gifts can actually mess you up.

As a child of God, it is not every gift that is profitable to you. Some gifts can close your mouth from speaking the truth and blind your eyes from seeing the real thing. Some can even pollute your Christian virtue. There are gifts that are traps in disguise yet, some are blessings, so be sensitive.

Every gift given to someone is sent on an errand awaiting a response. There is no wisdom in collecting gifts from a man you don’t want. It is a trap. If you don’t want him then why desire a token from him? Some gifts are bait to get you hooked.

When you offer gifts to someone, you are communicating something to that person. In marital union, couples use gifts to communicate to each other. Gifts remain one of the vocabularies of love. Their respective gifts to each other are either saying I love you or I appreciate you as the case may be. There is always something you are communicating to the other party when you offer gift to him or her.

Michal was the bait Saul intended using to eliminate David. Why would a man arrest the attention of a young lady via gifts? The lady may even ask: what does this man want from me? Receiving gifts from a married man as a young lady is costly. Please don’t bite more than you can chew. If you don’t want to be defiled, let the unfaithful man go with his gifts.

Don’t strangulate your destiny for a morsel of bread from filthy hands.

I knew of a pretty young lady who collected a cash gift from a married man who warned her never to have anything to do with another man (relationship wise). This man eventually saw the lady chatting with a young man and concluded they were dating. He poisoned the young lady by offering her another cash gift which she could not resist. She lasted only three days after collecting that second cash gift because she died mysteriously. That was the end of her life story.

The young lady died but the man went back to his wife and children. You shall not be trapped! Beware of the flatteries from the tongue of a married man. They are all lies. No matter the promise he makes to you, he will never leave his wife for you. He is only out to destroy you.

Gifts are messages sent on an errand waiting for a response that will surely come.

The best you can get from any married man is a second place as a second wife that is if it works at all. Why settle for a second place when God has crowned you with honor in your own place as number one? Most communication can be made via gifts. In offering gifts, you are expressing your appreciation and love to the receiver.

Now, let’s strike a balance. It is not all gifts that hurt. Samuel told Saul prophetically concerning the receipt of gifts instructing Saul on what to do.

Then shalt thou go on forward from thence, and thou shalt come to the plain of Tabor, and there shall meet thee three men going up to God to Bethel, one carrying three kids, and another carrying three loaves of bread, and another carrying a bottle of wine. And they will salute thee, and give thee two loaves of bread; which thou shalt receive of their hands.

I Samuel 10:3-4

This explains that not all gifts hurt. Most gifts come to us to bless us. But if you claim you’ve parted from a relationship for instance, why still holding tight to the baggage refusing to let go of the spoils? You are not set for visitation yet. Your camp needs to be sanitized for God to visit it. You need to refuse the collection of every Babylonian cloth that can strip off God’s backing over your life.

When you propose in your heart to be out of sin, you must get rid of the spoils.

The spoils are traps beckoning for your attention to return back, so, refuse it. When a man keep showering you with gifts without uttering a statement, don’t go sharing testimony that the Lord has done it. Ask him are you the one or should I expect another? Politely ask him the mission of the gifts.

You see, most devises of the world don’t work at all in God’s Kingdom. You’ve got to separate yourself from the worldly style to be blessed indeed. You can’t retain the property of the devil in your custody and not expect a visit from him. But why would you sell out your value because of what you will eat and drink when God has said He shall destroy both the meat and the belly?

… There shall cleave nought of the cursed thing to thine hand: that the LORD may turn from the fierceness of His anger, and shew thee mercy, and have compassion upon thee, and multiply thee, as He hath sworn unto thy fathers.

Deuteronomy 13:17

Chapter 2

The Fun of Compromise

Why compromise when God can do it? It is a sick and weak character that results to compromise. If you lack morals, you will soon compromise your stands. With a healthy character, there will be no room for compromise. Don’t believe a lie that will make you compromise your faith. Compromise throws you off balance. When you compromise, you no longer have a say. You become like a wave of the sea that is tossed to and fro.

When you make God your standard, He will delight in you and surprise you with a standard testimony.

Don’t soil your testimony by compromising your faith. Compromise withdraws the hand of God from performing that which concerns you. God is always interested in people who make positive decisions and stand by those decisions.

Hear this: when you mess up and cry to God for mercy, God’s unfailing mercy will always find you but the consequences of your error remain inevitable. The major key the woman has to secure her relationship is the ability to keep herself from being defiled. If you quench the man’s thirst by submitting your body to him, he will quickly convince himself that he deserves someone better than you. No man will continue zealously in a relationship where he has free access to the milk. Believe me; he won’t press further to buy the cow! The only pre-requisite God requires to perform His strange works is believe and not to compromise the truth you know.

Compromise hides your glory that would have been made manifest. Don’t allow yourself to be used and discarded. Be principled. The door of your heart is not meant for everybody to pass through and pass out. When you accept whatever comes your way as the only way out, you end up prolonging your stay. Your attempting to get blessed through a short-cut, cuts short