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    Three Old Ladies In A Pub: a play
    Three Old Ladies In A Pub: a play
    Three Old Ladies In A Pub: a play
    Ebook33 pages28 minutes

    Three Old Ladies In A Pub: a play

    By Bernard Morris

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    About this ebook

    Enjoy an evening out with three old ladies as they chat in front of an open fire at their local pub. Ethel and Madge, both in their 70s, exchange comical dialogue on such diverse subjects as blue whales, indigestion, punk rockers, drooping boobs, condoms, old friends and death, while Doris, in her 80s with "senile dimensions", talks about her Aunty Mavis: "We kept her in a fish tank for two years." A play.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBernard Morris
    Release dateJun 9, 2017
    ISBN9788826451787
    Three Old Ladies In A Pub: a play

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      Book preview

      Three Old Ladies In A Pub - Bernard Morris

      THREE OLD LADIES IN A PUB

      a play

      by

      Bernard Morris

      © 2014 Bernard Morris

      First Edition

      The author asserts the moral right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. All Rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrievable system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

      Cover Image by freedigitalphotos.net

      Permission to perform this play is only granted for use in acting classes and auditions.

      CAST:

       ETHEL – in her 70s

      MADGE – in her 70s

      DORIS – in her 80s

      LANDLORD BILL

      SEAFOOD MAN

      Time: The present.

      Setting: A pub.

      SCENE: PUB. ENTER ETHEL. SHE WALKS TO THE BAR.

      BILL: Good evening, Ethel.

      ETHEL: Evening, Bill.

      BILL: The usual?

      ETHEL: Yes. The usual poison.

      BILL: What’s the weather like out there?

      ETHEL: It’s freezing. I wouldn’t throw a cat out on a night like this.

      BILL: Still. It’ll soon be summer, eh?

      ETHEL: Hmm. Roll on summer.

      BILL: There you go, love. Half a lager.

      ETHEL: (searching in purse for money) I’m sure I had a pound coin in here somewhere. The trouble is they’re so small.

      BILL: You’re all right, love. You can have this one on the house.

      ETHEL: It’s here somewhere. Worst thing they ever did, getting rid of the pound note. They’re so small these pound coins. Only the other day I gave one to Mr Peterson the butcher and he said to me, Ethel, he said. I said, What? He said, This is a pound coin. Oh, I said. "I am sorry." I thought it was a five pence piece, you see. Well, they’re so similar in size and…

      BILL: Ethel, close your purse and take your drink before I pour it over your head.

      ETHEL: I’ll have another look for it later. Cheers.

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