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    The Magnetic Lady, or, Humours Reconciled
    The Magnetic Lady, or, Humours Reconciled
    The Magnetic Lady, or, Humours Reconciled
    Ebook139 pages1 hour

    The Magnetic Lady, or, Humours Reconciled

    By Ben Jonson

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    About this ebook

    Benjamin Jonson (1572-1637) was a Renaissance dramatist, poet and actor, known best for his satirical plays and lyric poems. His career began in 1597 when he held a fixed engagement in "The Admiral's Men", and although he was unsuccessful as an actor, his literary talent was apparent and he began writing original plays for the troupe. Although Jonson attained a long and thriving career, the majority of his major works for which he is revered were produced between 1605 and 1620. In his declining years he produced a number of works dubbed by Dryden as his "dotages," and although less popular than his earlier plays, they remain significant for their portrayal of Charles I's England. His final comedy, "The Magnetic Lady, or Humours Reconciled," tells the story of a chaotic but revealing dinner party, with the wealthy Lady Loadstone, her attractive young niece, Placentia Steel, a group of amorous but foolish suitors, and a few out of control female servants.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDigireads.com Publishing
    Release dateJan 1, 2011
    ISBN9781420941968
    The Magnetic Lady, or, Humours Reconciled
    Author

    Ben Jonson

    Benjamin Jonson (c. 11 June 1572 – c. 16 August 1637 was an English playwright and poet. Jonson's artistry exerted a lasting influence upon English poetry and stage comedy. He popularised the comedy of humours; he is best known for the satirical plays Every Man in His Humour (1598), Volpone, or The Fox (c. 1606), The Alchemist (1610) and Bartholomew Fair (1614) and for his lyric and epigrammatic poetry. He is generally regarded as the second most important English dramatist, after William Shakespeare.

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      Book preview

      The Magnetic Lady, or, Humours Reconciled - Ben Jonson

      THE MAGNETIC LADY

      OR,

      HUMOURS RECONCILED.

      A COMEDY.

      BY BEN JONSON

      A Digireads.com Book

      Digireads.com Publishing

      Print ISBN 13: 978-1-4209-4093-0

      Ebook ISBN 13: 978-1-4209-4196-8

      This edition copyright © 2012

      Please visit www.digireads.com

      CONTENTS

      DRAMATIS PERSONAE

      THE INDUCTION

      THE MAGNETIC LADY

      ACT I, Scene ii.

      ACT I, Scene iii.

      ACT I, Scene iv.

      ACT I, Scene v.

      ACT I, Scene vi.

      ACT I, Scene vii.

      ACT II, Scene i.

      ACT II, Scene ii.

      ACT II, Scene iii.

      ACT II, Scene v.

      ACT II, Scene vi.

      ACT II, Scene vii.

      ACT III, Scene i.

      ACT III, Scene ii.

      ACT III, Scene iii.

      ACT III, Scene iv.

      ACT III, Scene v.

      ACT III, Scene vi.

      ACT III, Scene vii.

      ACT IV, Scene i.

      ACT IV, Scene ii.

      ACT IV, Scene iii.

      ACT IV, Scene iv.

      ACT IV, Scene v.

      ACT IV, Scene vi.

      ACT IV, Scene vii.

      ACT IV, Scene viii.

      ACT V, Scene i.

      ACT V, Scene ii.

      ACT V, Scene iii.

      ACT V, Scene iv.

      ACT V, Scene v.

      ACT V, Scene vi.

      ACT V, Scene vii.

      ACT V, Scene viii.

      ACT V, Scene ix.

      ACT V, Scene x.

      Iam lapides suus ardor agit ferrumq; tenetur,

      Illecebris——Claud. de Magnet.

      DRAMATIS PERSONAE

      Lady Loadstone, the magnetic lady.

      Mistress Polish, her gossip and she-parasite.

      Mistress Placentia, her niece.

      Pleasance, her waiting-woman.

      Mistress Keep, the niece's nurse.

      Mother Chair, the midwife.

      Master Compass, a scholar, mathematic.

      Captain Ironside, a soldier.

      Parson Palate, prelate of the parish.

      Doctor Rut, physician to the house.

      Tim Item, his apothecary.

      Sir Diaphanous Silkworm, a courtier.

      Master Practice, a lawyer.

      Sir Moth Interest, an usurer, or money-bawd.

      Master Bias, a vi-politic, or sub-secretary.

      Master Needle, the lady's steward and tailor.

      Chorus, by way of induction.

      Master Probee, Master Damplay, a boy of the house.

      THE INDUCTION

      Or

      CHORUS.

      [Two gentlemen entering upon the stage, Master Probee and Master Damplay, a boy of the house meets them.]

      BOY. What do you lack, gentlemen? What is't you lack? Any fine fancies, figures, humors, characters, ideas, definitions of lords and ladies? Waiting-women, parasites, knights, captains, courtiers, lawyers? What do you lack?

      PROBEE. A pretty prompt boy for the poetic shop.

      DAMPLAY. And a bold! Where's one o' your masters; sirrah, the poet?

      BOY. Which of 'em? Sir we have divers that drive that trade, now: poets, poetaccios, poetasters, poetitos——

      DAMPLAY. And all haberdashers of small wit, I presume; we would speak with the poet o' the day, boy.

      BOY. Sir, he is not here. But, I have the dominion of the shop, for this time, under him, and can show you all the variety the stage will afford for the present.

      PROBEE. Therein you will express your own good parts, boy.

      DAMPLAY. And tie us two to you, for the gentle office.

      PROBEE. We are a pair of public persons (this gentleman and myself) that are sent, thus coupled unto you upon state-business.

      BOY. It concerns but the state of the stage I hope!

      DAMPLAY. Oh, you shall know that by degrees, boy. No man leaps into a business of state, without fording first the state of the business.

      PROBEE. We are sent unto you, indeed from the people.

      BOY. The people! Which side of the people?

      DAMPLAY. The venison side, if you know it, boy.

      BOY. That's the left side. I had rather they had been the right.

      PROBEE. So they are. Not the faeces, or grounds of your people, that sit in the oblique caves and wedges of your house, your sinful sixpenny mechanics——

      DAMPLAY. But the better, and braver sort of your people! Plush and velvet-outsides! That stick your house round like so many eminences——

      BOY. Of clothes, not understandings? They are at pawn. Well, I take these as a part of your people though; what bring you to me from these people?

      DAMPLAY. You have heard, boy, the ancient poets had it in their purpose, still to please this people.

      PROBEE. Aye, their chief aim was——

      DAMPLAY. Populo ut placerent: (if he understands so much.)

      BOY. Quas fecissent fabulas. I understand that, since I learned Terence, i' the third form at Westminster: go on, sir.

      PROBEE. Now, these people have employed us to you, in all their names, to entreat an excellent play from you.

      DAMPLAY. For they have had very mean ones, from this shop of late, the stage as you call it.

      BOY. Troth, gentlemen, I have no wares, which I dare thrust upon the people with praise. But this, such as it is, I will venture with your people, your gay gallant people: so as you, again, will undertake for them, that they shall know a good play when they hear it; and will have the conscience and ingenuity beside to confess it.

      PROBEE. We'll pass our words for that: you shall have a brace of us to engage ourselves.

      BOY. You'll tender your names, gentlemen, to our book then?

      DAMPLAY. Yes, here's Master Probee; a man of most powerful speech, and parts to persuade.

      PROBEE. And Master Damplay will make good all he undertakes.

      BOY. Good Master Probee, and Master Damplay! I like your securities: whence do you write yourselves?

      PROBEE. Of London, gentlemen: but knights' brothers, and knights' friends, I assure you.

      DAMPLAY. And knights' fellows too. Every poet writes squire now.

      BOY. You are good names! Very good men, both of you! I accept you.

      DAMPLAY. And what is the title of your play, here? 'The Magnetic Lady'?

      BOY. Yes, sir, an attractive title the author has given it.

      PROBEE. A magnet, I warrant you.

      DAMPLAY. Oh, no, from magnus, magna, magnum.

      BOY. This gentleman hath found the true magnitude——

      DAMPLAY. Of his portal or entry to the work, according to Vitruvius.

      BOY. Sir, all our work is done without a portal——or Vitruvius. In foro, as a true comedy should be. And what is concealed within, is brought out, and made present by report.

      DAMPLAY. We see not that always observed by your authors of these times; or scarce any other.

      BOY. Where it is not at all known, how should it be observed? The most of those your people call authors, never dreamt of any decorum, or what was proper in the scene; but grope at it i' the dark, and feel or fumble for it; I speak it, both with their leave and the leave o' your people.

      DAMPLAY. But, why humors reconciled; I would fain know?

      BOY. I can satisfy you there too: if you will. But, perhaps you desire not to be satisfied.

      DAMPLAY. No? Why should you conceive so, boy?

      BOY. My conceit is not ripe yet: I'll tell you that anon. The author beginning his studies of this kind, with 'Every Man in his Humour'; and after 'Every Man out of his Humour'; and since, continuing in all his plays, especially those of the comic thread, whereof 'The New Inn' was the last, some recent humours still, or manners of men, that went along with the times; finding himself now near the close, or shutting up of his circle, hath fancied to himself, in idea, this magnetic mistress. A lady, a brave bountiful housekeeper, and a virtuous widow: who having a young niece, ripe for a man and marriageable, he makes that his center

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