The Story of Us

This isn’t a bad story, but it’s not an entirely good story either. This is the story of us. Of me, really. And of the guy who changed my life. But not in the he-swept-me-off-my-feet-and-then-everything-was-all right kind of way. No. He walked into my life like a thunderstorm ripping through the sky, stirring things up and shaking me to my core. He was unsettled and uncontrolled—definitely not the safe bet. But just like a good thunderstorm, he was also wholly beautiful. His presence couldn’t be ignored. He awoke something within me that I didn’t even know was there. And after you’ve seen the sky in a thunderstorm’s aftermath, the everyday ordinary blue just looks a little too dull in comparison.

Chapter One

Hurry up, Hailey! I yell from the doorway to my best friend. I want to get out of here before my dad comes home! I reorganize the bins and boxes in the back of Hailey’s car to make more room while I wait. Although it’s nearly afternoon now, the sun is nowhere to be found. It’s a dark and dreary day, one that promises rain in the near future, matching the current state of my relationship with my dad. The slight breeze in the air brings the smell of a late summer storm. I inhale deeply, greedily cherishing it.

Hailey walks out of my childhood house with the last box of my belongings in her hands. You’re still not getting along, huh? I thought he’d accept your decision by now. I can’t see her face over the box, but I can hear the sympathy in her voice.

I roll my eyes even though she can’t see me. She knows how stubborn that man is. Ugh. No. If anything, it’s gotten worse.

She places the box in the back of her car, where I’ve made just enough room.

My father keeps trying to convince me that an Ivy League college is where I belong. It doesn’t matter to him that it’s too late to enroll somewhere else even if I wanted to. He’s certain that he could pull some strings, throw a lot of money at someone to fix the problem that is his daughter. He thinks I must be certifiably insane to want to attend a state school. It’s like he doesn’t know me at all sometimes.

I’ve explained it to him a million times over the summer. I don’t want to be at some stuck-up school where I’ll end up with some stuck-up roommate and have to make friends with some… some… I search for the words.

Stuck-up students? Hailey offers with a smirk.

Well, yeah, I admit. I mean, I know not everyone there would be stuck-up, but still. I don’t know those people. I know you. We planned on rooming together since we started our freshman year of high school, maybe even before then. I don’t remember. It’s always been a given. I can’t imagine us not going to the same college. It wouldn’t feel right.It would be so…weird. Hailey has always been by my side or I’ve been glued to hers.

I know, Hailey says seriously. I can’t either. But you know, when we promised to room together way back then, neither one of us thought we’d be going to a state college. We talked about Harvard and Yale. We had these enormous dreams. You know I’d understand if you wanted to go somewhere else.

"No. Stop. I have to defend my decision every single day to my dad. Don’t make me start defending myself to you too. I want to room with you. And you want to go to the same college as Drew. Drew received a full scholarship to WSC so that’s where we’re going. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with state colleges. We dreamed that big because it’s what was expected of us. Our parents drilled Ivy League into our heads from the moment we entered junior high. And as much as I love to spend my parents’ money, I joke, it’s just really not worth it. We’ll get the same experiences at WSC, I’ll be closer to my family, and you’ll be closer to your mom. It just makes sense all around."

I know. I just feel guilty that you’re sacrificing your college experience just so that I can be with my boyfriend. I can’t help but feel like I’m being selfish.

"You’re not being selfish because it’s not your choice. Where I go to college is my choice. You’re not making me go. It’s my decision. I’m a big girl. If I felt like I was sacrificing anything, I would tell you to kiss my ass as I walked away." I grin.

Hailey laughs because she knows I’m kidding. Okay. Sorry to bring it up again. I know you have a hard enough time trying to justify it to your dad. I don’t need to add to it.

Speaking of, let’s get out of here before he comes home… because if I have to sit here and rehash this whole conversation all over again with him, I just might request another roommate after all. I stick my tongue out at her.

Hailey chuckles while closing the back door, then jumps into the driver’s seat, ready to take off. I pause for a moment, looking at my house. Or rather, my parents’ house now, since technically I’ll have a new address. I know I’ll be back here, but somehow this feels like the end. Next time, it’ll just be to visit. I’ll be a visitor in my own house. Er, my parents’ house. I shouldn’t be feeling so sentimental about leaving, especially since I spent most of my childhood at Hailey’s house anyway. But I can’t help it. Even though my parents worked a lot and I’d opt to stay over at a friend’s house instead of being lonely here, there were still moments when we were all here together. Happy moments. Moments that define my time in this house. Not daily occurrences, but moments nonetheless. I commit the dark cherry, stained glass door and the zigzag pattern of the walkway that leads to the driveway to memory.

I can’t believe the day is really here. I’m doing this—going to college. I can still remember my dad holding my hand and walking me to the car for my first day of pre-school, probably the only time he ever did it. It feels like I blinked and time jumped forward to now. I’m going to miss the comfort of my family home.

I take a deep breath as I repress the gloomy feeling that starts to overwhelm me, and then I jump into Hailey’s car. This is supposed to be a happy time—best friends, on the road to our future, completely independent for the first time ever. I hop in the car and I find a good song on the radio, blasting it loudly to lift my sullen mood. Hailey laughs and we both start singing loudly and very off-key as we pull out of the long driveway and head down the street on our way to the place we’ll call home for the next four years.

An hour and a half later, we arrive on campus and Hailey immediately finds Drew. Drew’s mom is here too, helping him unpack and get settled. There’re a lot of parents here helping their kids. Hailey’s mom will be here later tonight, when she gets out of work. My parents, however, have promised a welcome-to-college dinner soon. It’ll be at a very expensive restaurant, I’m sure. And I doubt they’ll even set foot on campus, never mind see my dorm room. I know I sound bitter, but I’m actually not. I accepted my parents’ shortcomings a long time ago. I know that they’re better at their day jobs than they are at being actual parents. They spend long hours at their respective offices. They’ve never baked me cupcakes and brought them into school on my birthday. They’ve never actually brought me back-to-school shopping, although they’ve always given me money to go with Hailey and her mom. They’ve never been to one of my cheerleading competitions. They’re just not like other parents. But it’s not as bad as it sounds. They show they care in other ways. My mom sticks up for me whenever my dad gets too strict. When he thinks I should be studying and getting better grades instead of joining the cheerleading squad or hanging out with friends, it’s my mom who reminds him that I’m a teenager and should be allowed to act like it.

If they miss something important, like a school play or a cheerleading competition or junior high graduation, my dad sneaks a few twenty dollar bills into my backpack, which is his way of saying ‘I’m sorry’ without actually having to say it. Both of my parents have always been extremely career-driven. When I was younger, I spent a lot of time at my grandmother’s house. I was eleven when she passed. Coincidently, my friendship with Hailey grew deeper and I started spending a lot of time at her house. She’s more like a sister to me than a best friend, which is why we planned on rooming together in college. It was a no-brainer.

Valerie! How are you? Ms. Delmont, Hailey’s boyfriend’s mom, greets me as we walk up to the campus.

I’m good, excited actually, I tell her. How are you?

Her eyes look ready to spring a well of tears at any moment. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Proud. Sad. You know, the typical dilemma of a mom sending her boy off to college. I’m glad to see Drew enrolled. I’ll just miss him is all. Her lips curve into a bittersweet smile.

My smile fades a bit. Yeah. That’s understandable.

I hadn’t thought of how hard this must be for her. Drew and his mom had been separated for most of his childhood. They only re-connected last year when he found her, by pure chance, with the help of Hailey. I often get jealous of Drew and Hailey’s relationship, how deeply in love they are with one another. Sometimes I think I’d give anything for that kind of love. But then I remind myself of all they’ve been through. Both of them have had to deal with more family drama than anyone should ever have to. When I think of everything they’ve had to endure, suddenly I’m not so jealous anymore. I’ll take my life over either of theirs any day, true love found or not. Still, I can’t help but dream about a day when someone will love me like Drew loves my best friend. Don’t get me wrong—I’m truly happy for them. But everyone wants to feel that kind of love for themselves.

Well, I’ll live, Ms. Delmont states, bringing me back to reality. I’ll miss my boy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. College is where he’s supposed to be.

I just smile in understanding as she walks over to talk to Hailey. I give them privacy to talk and head out to help Drew unpack our things. It’s times like this when I’m thankful that at least one of us has a boyfriend. At least we have help with the heavy lifting.

He grins as I approach. He’s changed so much from the sullen bad boy with a battered face the first time I saw him working with Hailey at her mom’s bookstore. Okay, I’m guessing this isn’t Hailey’s, he teases, holding up a pink furry lamp.

Hey! It could be! I argue defensively.

He doesn’t say a thing, bathe gives me a knowing look.

Okay, whatever. It’s mine. What’s so bad about this? It’s a cute lamp! I digress.

He raises his eyebrows in contradiction as he responds. His lips are twitching, eager to laugh. Sure, if you’re twelve.

I grab the pink zebra-striped lamp out of his hands and add it to the box I’m picking up. Drew and I give each other a hard time, but really, he’s not so bad. He’s perfect for Hailey and she’s truly happy with him. He treats her right and doesn’t try to intervene with or take away from our girl time, so he gets the best friend stamp of approval. The only thing that’s changed with Hailey is how serious she’s become. She used to be more giggly and fun. Not that she’s not fun now, but she’s just more… mature. I’m not sure if it’s a side effect of falling in love or from her family situation though. A little over a year ago, Hailey found out that her dad was having an affair. It was a complicated one that lasted over a decade and left a lasting impact on the whole family. Like I said, I’m so not jealous of their family situations at all. So maybe it was the divorce that caused her to become more somber. Then again, maybe it’s just all part of growing up. For the most part, Hailey’s still Hailey. But sometimes I miss the more carefree, laidback, engaging Hailey. Maybe then I wouldn’t have to be on the WSC cheerleading squad all by myself. I still can’t believe she chose not to try out. She’s a better cheerleader than I am, so I know she would have made the team. But she says she’s just not into it anymore. I tried my hardest to talk her into it, because honestly, cheerleading won’t be the same without her, but she wouldn’t budge.

Val, Drew calls out, can you give me a hand with this one?

He’s trying to pick up a long rectangular box and can’t hold it at both ends, so I grab the end furthest from him and help him carry it up to my dorm. When we reach our door, Ms. Delmont is just coming out.

I’m going to take off, Drew, and leave you to help the girls and settle in. Don’t hesitate to call if you need me—for anything. Seriously, even if it’s in the middle of the night. You know I’m always here for you.

I can see the tears welling up in her eyes, so I lower the box down and Drew follows my lead. The moment feels private, so I make up an excuse to give them the time they need to say goodbye.

Well, I’m parched. If you’ll excuse me, Ms. Delmont, I left my water bottle inside. It was really nice seeing you again.

Of course. Likewise, Valerie. I hope your time here is amazing. I hope this is a great experience for all of you. She forces a smile but can’t hide her blurred eyes as she turns back to Drew.

I smile and slip back inside, where I find Hailey staring out the window in our common room.

What’s so fascinating?

She physically jumps before turning around to face me. Holy Jes—You scared me half to death! She wraps her arms around her middle.

I noticed. I laugh at her shocked expression. What were you doing?

She bumps her shoulder up. Just thinking.

About? Did Ms. Delmont say something to you?

She shakes her head and moves to unpack a few movies from one of the smaller boxes. Her teeth bite into her bottom lip as she chews on her response. No, nothing like that. I’m just wondering if I made the right choice.

Oh, no. We’re not doing this again, I whine. We’re here and we’re staying. Get Ivy League right out of your head. State college is not—"

It’s college in general, she interrupts."Maybe I shouldn’t be here at all. It’s kind of selfish to leave my mom right now, don’t you think? She’s never been alone like this. And Ms. Delmont says this guy my mom met keeps asking her out on dates. She keeps saying no, but Ms. Delmont seems to think that she’ll cave soon."

"So Ms. Delmont did say something."

Well, yeah, I guess. She was trying to make me feel less guilty though. She was trying to convince me that my mom’s moving on with her life, that she won’t be lonely with me gone. That she’ll probably even be dating soon. But now I’m more worried than ever. I mean, who is this guy? She throws her arms out.What if he turns out to be some scumbag and I’m not there to help her see that?

I refrain from rolling my eyes. Hailey should be having fun, not worrying about so much adult stuff. Your mom’s a big girl, Hailey. She can take care of herself. She’s doing great without your dad. She’s way more independent than she used to be. And plus, she has Ms. Delmont, who is going through the whole empty nest thing too, so she won’t be alone. It’s nice that they’ve become friends. I point out.

That’s what Ms. Delmont said, too. That they’ll help each other. But still, I feel like this is a selfish move. She frowns and rubs her hand nervously up and down her arm, the stack of movies forgotten.

"Sacrificing your college experience to stay home with your mom wouldn’t do anyone any good, including your mom. Because she wants you here. And if you stayed home for her, she would have to live with that for the rest of her life. She would feel guilty for depriving you of your college experience. It would eat at her and you know it."

Drew enters the common room with a smile that drops as soon as he looks in Hailey’s direction. What’s wrong? he asks with a look of pure concern.

It’s moments like this that hit me hard. I try not to be jealous of Drew and Hailey’s relationship. But the fact that he enters the room and instantly knows something’s bothering Hailey, without any obvious signs—no crying, no yelling, only a subtle look on her face—I can’t help but want that. I’ve never been the overly romantic type, but when it’s flaunted right in front of my face nearly every single day, it’s hard not to miss it, despite the fact that I’ve never had it.

Take care of your girl, Drew. She’s having a moment, I tell him. And then I walk out to find the closest coffee shop. I need caffeine.

My coffee addiction is becoming a problem lately. I’m not sure when it got this bad, but somehow it’s managed to control my life. I need a cup of coffee at least three times a day. Sometimes more than one cup in a sitting. And if I try to go without, I get extremely tired and I’ll have a headache all day. I know it’s a problem, but I can’t seem to get it under control. The stormy air outside fuels my craving even more. I follow the path to the middle of the quad and look around. Why didn’t they show us where the coffee shop was on the college tour? Coffee is essential to college students! I try to remember everything the guide said on the tour, so I can eliminate what direction it won’t be in. I refuse to be one of those freshmen who carry around a campus map, so I struggle to draw directions solely from memory. To the right, down the hill, are the math and science buildings. Straight ahead is the library and behind that is the Education and auditorium buildings. Behind me aways is the psychology center and in front, but a little to the right side of that, is the English hall. To the left of me is the administration building and the cafeteria. I think I remember there being a pizza and sub shop somewhere around there, so I head in that direction, figuring it’s my best bet.

As I walk, I watch all of the freshmen moving their things into their dorms. There are a lot of parents helping. A lot of sad goodbyes. And a lot of eager jumping up and down when they leave. This is the start of a new life. I know it sounds cliché, but it really is. It’s closing a chapter that I know by heart and opening one that’s blurry and unclear. It’s scary as hell, but in a good way. The possibilities are endless. I’m growing into my own. Responsible for making my own decisions, not that I haven’t always been somewhat independent, but this is college and a far cry from being in high school and living under my parent’s roof.

When I get to the cafeteria, I notice the pizza shop just behind it. The delicious aroma makes its way into my path. What a cruel trick. No doubt I’ll be gaining the freshman fifteen. Who would eat crappy cafeteria food when there’s delicious greasy pizza to be had? As I approach the pizza shop, the coffee shop finally comes into sight. Aha! I knew I’d find it over here with the treasured pizza. I know I’ll be visiting this section of the campus often.

The coffee shop, or The Grind, as the sign refers to it, is a small building with floor-to-ceiling windows lining the whole front with the exception of the bright red double doors. A bell chirps when I open one of the red doors—the kind that lets someone know they have a customer. I instantly look around, but no one’s here, not even an employee behind the counter. I take a deep breath, inhaling the intoxicating smell of coffee. It’s easily my favorite smell in the whole world. There’re tables placed up against the windows and a couple smaller ones filling in the gaps between those tables and the coffee counter. The counter is extremely long—nearly the length of the whole building. On the counter, they have a register, various pastry items for sale, cream and milk canisters, multiple types of sugars, stirrers, napkins, a refrigerator filled with juices, and the list goes on. Above the counter are hanging star-shaped lights. Behind the counter, hung up on a long brick wall, are five chalkboards lined side-by-side, each with the names and descriptions of the different coffees they offer. It reminds me of a Starbucks, but not quite as fancy. A rustic, more run-down Starbucks.

I wait for a couple minutes, looking around and