Loving Kyle

Loving Kyle

The tough times don’t define you.  It’s how you respond to them that does.

Liv

Six years ago, my world was turned upside down with the ring of my phone and a gravelly voice on the other end.  For months afterward, I felt like I surely wouldn’t make it through another day.  Then my daughter was born.  A bundle of joy, bright enough to light my dreary days, with a glow that warmed my aching heart.  I’ve lived for her ever since.

As I stand here, staring at the man who looks so much like him, but is still so different, I find myself contemplating living for me, just for a little while...

Kyle

Honorably discharged from the Army after five tours in Afghanistan, I’m back in my hometown and working as a Basic Combat Training instructor.

Falling in love with Liv was never part of the plan, but as time goes by and wounds are healed, the wall erected between us slowly starts to crumble.  But Liv isn’t the type to give in easily.  Then I remember I’m an American soldier.

I will never accept defeat.  I will never quit.

It’s time she realized she’s mine.

Deep down, I know two things for sure:  One, my heart, head, and gut all direct me to Kyle.  Two, I’m going to continue ignoring them.

Chapter One - NOW

The sight of him causes my heart to stutter, just like it has every time I’ve laid eyes on him. He is so incredibly masculine, it’s difficult to describe him in a way that does him justice.  He’s tall, with sun-kissed golden skin, broad and muscular.  There’s an intensity about him that draws me in and holds me captive every time I look into his deep blue eyes.

Uncle Kyle! Matilda cheers as she comes tearing through the house. I’m quickly jolted out of my thoughts as I watch my little girl launch herself into her uncle’s arms.

Hey, sweet pea, he murmurs, kissing her cheek.

That tickles. She giggles as he rubs his five o’clock shadow across her neck.

Hi, Kyle, I say softly.

Liv, he says, tilting his chin.

"Uncle Kyle, we’re gonna have popcorn and watch Zootopia.  You wanna watch, too?"

My eyes widen and I hold my breath.

Say no.  Say no.  Say no.

That depends.  You got Skittles?

Do we, Momma?

I nod, my voice stolen by the uncontainable nerves that shoot through me when he’s near.

Then how can I say no, he declares, throwing me a wink.

I give him a tight smile before darting into the kitchen to prepare our movie snacks. As the scent of buttery popped corn fills the room, I work to control my rapidly beating heart.  I’ve always had this heart-in-my-throat kind of feeling whenever Kyle is around.  I tried to ignore it for years, especially when I was with Brant, but it was easier then.  Kyle was away with the military, and the only time I allowed him to infiltrate my thoughts was when Brant mentioned any updates from him. 

But everything is different now.

Brant’s gone, and Kyle’s back.

Chapter Two – THEN

"Y ou having a good time , beautiful?" 

I smile up at my boyfriend, Brant, as he stands over me, blocking the blinding sun.  I am.  Your family is great, I reply honestly.  We’ve only been dating a few months, and he invited me here to his aunt’s place today for a barbeque and to meet Celia and Kyle.  Brant told me he and his brother, Kyle, were raised by their mother’s sister, Celia, after their parents died in a car wreck when the boys were just fourteen and fifteen.

Celia has been so sweet and welcoming to me since we arrived.  Given Brant’s six-foot height, I thought their aunt might be tall as well.  But she’s only an inch or two shorter than me.  Her dark hair sits below her ears in a sleek bob, and she’s got laugh lines stemming from her kind eyes.

How’s your drink going? You need a refill?

I can grab it.  That’s the thing I love most about Brant; he’s so attentive. 

You stay there and enjoy the sun.  I’ll be back.

He’s sure got it bad for you, Brant’s aunt Celia mutters..

I laugh and say, He’s amazing.

We sure did get blessed with he and Kyle.  Neither can do no wrong in my eyes.  The love she feels for them shines from her eyes, and I can’t help but smile.

I was loved growing up.  I had a mom, a dad, a sister, plus two older brothers, along with aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Even though I knew I was loved, affection wasn’t shown freely in our house.  It just wasn’t our way.  I couldn’t help but wish I had a relative who adored me as much as Celia openly dotes on her nephews.

Brant mentioned Kyle is in the military, I say.  You must miss him terribly when he’s deployed.

Every minute of every day, she states emphatically.  But it makes the times he is home so much more memorable.  As proud as I am of him off fighting for our country, I often wish he’d just get an everyday nine-to-five job.

Aunt Silly, you know that’s not my way.  At the sound of the deep, gravelly voice behind me, I twist in the Adirondack chair and take in the guy standing there, a twinkle in his deep blue eyes, as he looks down at Celia.

She gives me an amused pointed look.  See what I have to put up with.  Now give me a kiss.

He leans down to peck her cheek and I’m captivated by his woodsy, spicy cologne.  He smells incredible, and I find myself inhaling deeply.

He rights himself and his penetrating gaze finds mine.  I’m instantly drawn to the inch-long scar over his eyebrow and I wonder how he got it.

Hi, you must Kyle.  I’m Liv... Olivia... Brant’s girlfriend, I stammer.

His eyes flick over my body, pausing momentarily on my legs, before resting on my face once again.

Nice to meet ya.

Hey, bro! Brant cheers as he comes over to clap his brother on the back before handing me a glass of white wine.

Thanks, I murmur, as he begins to catch up with Kyle.  Celia and I chat while the boys stand behind us, animatedly making up for lost time.

Why don’t we go inside and get the food ready, Celia suggests.

Sure thing.  I stand up and give Brant a smile as I follow his sixty-year-old aunt into her house.

Let me show you this first, she says, giving me a cheeky smile.  We walk down the short hall and she opens a door.

Oh, my goodness, I gasp, looking around the bedroom.  It’s split in two, a bed on either side of the room with two small tables in between.  A chest of drawers and a closet are there as well, along with a small bookshelf.  I grin, my eyes finding the posters pinned above one bed.  Cindy Crawford?  Is that Elle McPherson?

Yep, Celia replies with a nod and a grin.  My Brant was a big fan of supermodels.

Looks like it.  I giggle.  I walk over to the bookshelf and pick up one of the small green army figurines.  My brothers used to play with these.

Even though the boys were teenagers when they came to live here, Kyle still brought those figurines.  He didn’t play with them, of course, but he kept them on that shelf and never took them down, she tells me.

No Sports Illustrated posters for Kyle? I ask, grinning.

Celia shakes her head lightly.  He preferred to spend his pocket money on taking girls on dates, and the occasional military magazine.

Not long later, we all find a seat at the outdoor table to enjoy the food.  Brant ensures my plate is full and my drink is refreshed before he dishes up his own lunch.

Eat up, beautiful, he quietly says from his chair to my left.

It looks delicious.  Just as I pick up my fork, the vacant seat on my right is pulled out and Kyle sits down.  He immediately begins loading his plate while answering questions from Celia and Brant about his time on deployment.  I force myself not to concentrate on how close his body is to mine, and the way his cologne makes me feel intoxicated.  I cut into my steak and moan softly at the mouthwatering taste.

Good? Brant asks, grinning, as Kyle clears his throat uncomfortably.

Sorry, I mutter, embarrassed, feeling my cheeks turn pink.  It’s really yum.

Are you sleeping good?  Celia asks Kyle, ever the concerned aunt.

He nods, shoveling a forkful of food into his mouth.

You just let me know if you’ve got any washing you want me to do.  Or, I can stop by your apartment whenever to tidy up.

Thanks, Aunt. It’ll be fine, Kyle mutters, his tone sounding a little embarrassed by Celia’s coddling.

The chatter decreases as everyone devours their food.  When my stomach is about to explode, I have no choice but to stop eating.  Unfortunate, really, because the food is just so good.  I reach for my wine at the same time as Kyle shifts in his seat and reaches for the pepper.  His hand grazes mine and our thighs touch.  I suck in a sharp breath as a jolt of liquid fire travels through my veins, and I can’t help but wonder if he felt it too. I chance a sideways glance at him and see that he’s clearly unaffected by the encounter.

Unlike me.

For the remainder of the afternoon, I can think of nothing other than the way my skin feels seared in the two places he touched.  The worst part about it, I don’t know why my body has such a visceral reaction to a man I just met. 

Chapter Three – NOW

Ifeel him before he speaks.  The energy that surrounds him fills my small kitchen, making the air thick.  His heat hits my back and I studiously concentrate on pouring Skittles into a bowl.

Need some help?  He reaches over my shoulder and plucks a red candy from the bowl.

N—, I pause to clear the croak from my voice.  No, I’m fine.  Go ahead and chill out with Matilda.

A shiver races down my spine when his fingers make contact with my neck as he brushes my hair aside.  I’ll just grab a beer then.  Why must his voice be so incredibly breathtaking?  It’s gravelly and deep, rough, but with a smooth edge. 

A heavy exhale rushes past my lips as he walks out of the kitchen.  I grip the side of the counter hard enough for my knuckles to go white-white.

Get a grip, Liv, I whisper harshly.  "Get. A. Grip."

Five minutes later, I exit the kitchen with a stoic smile and two bowls of snacks.  Kyle is on the couch with Matilda curled up beside him, her head resting on his muscular arm, her blonde curls tumbling over the black tattoos that cover his bicep.  I set the food down on the small, oblong table and return to the kitchen to get a can of soda.

Olaf’s the funniest.  You should be him for Halloween, Uncle Kyle, Matilda is saying.

The snowman?  Shouldn’t I be Prince Hans?

My brows shoot up.  How on earth does Kyle know the characters from Frozen?

Matilda giggles.  No, silly.  He’s a meanie.

Okay, let’s watch Zootopia, I announce as I hit play on the remote and take the only available space on the couch left.  Right beside Kyle.  I squish myself right up against the edge, leaving three inches between us.  I’m determined not to touch him in any way.

Momma, can I have a drink? Matilda asks after about fifteen minutes.

Yes, sweetie. I’ll grab it for you.  I quickly fill her a cup of water and return, only to find Kyle has spread his legs wider than what I believe is necessary.  Surely he doesn’t need that much room.  I sit down, squeezing my thighs together, pushing myself deeper into the arm of the couch.  The three inches of space I had just minutes ago has evaporated.  Now it’s less than three millimeters.  It’s impossible to focus on the movie when all of my attention is centered on the sliver of space between his thigh and mine.

I contemplate twisting slightly and crossing my legs, but then I run the risk of my ass brushing against his hip.  I could sit on the floor, but the tiles aren’t heated and I don’t want to freeze my butt off.  I wish I had room for another couch.

Relax, he says, startling me as he whispers in my ear.  His warm breath skates across my cheek and my eyes involuntarily flutter closed. 

Look, Uncle Kyle!  It’s a buffalo. Matilda giggles.  Thankful for the intrusion, I force myself to studiously watch the television.  I reach over and grab a handful of popcorn to nibble on, ignoring Kyle as he scoops up some Skittles.

The movie finally ends and I announce to Matilda it’s her bedtime.

Can Uncle Kyle read me a story? she asks, giving me those puppy dog eyes I can never refuse.

Sure I can, he replies before I can answer.

Okay then, come on.  Into bed.  I tuck her in, kiss her forehead, and tell her I love her.  Then I leave the room as Kyle begins to read.

I busy myself tidying up stray kernels of