Stupid Smart

Stupid Smart

Jenn Hype

Stupid Smart

Copyright ©2019 by Living Hype, Ltd.

All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Living Hype, Ltd.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form by any electronic or mechanical means including photocopying, recording, or information storage and retrieval without permission in writing from the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Book design by J. F. Rountree

www.jennhype.com

publishing@livinghype.com

E-Book Edition January 2019

To Jo for your constant support, wisdom and humor.

ear·worm

ˈirˌwərm/

noun

1. short for corn earworm.

2. Informal a catchy song or tune that runs continually through a person's mind.

Obviously when I reference the word earworm, I’m referring to the second definition. Although, I’m considering writing to the deciders of words to have the name Clara Jade added as an addendum.

Not to get off topic, but who the hell gets the final say about these definitions anyway? Is there a committee? Is one person granted the power to determine these things for all of the world? Someone Google that shit and get back to me.

Anyway. Fucking tangent.

Like the rest of the world, I’m no stranger to having the world’s most annoying songs stuck in my head for days on end. Spend more than an hour with the Macarena playing on a constant loop and tell me you aren’t about to lose your mind. The curse of the earworm is one that should be taken seriously by all.

What I never realized is that there are other things that can get stuck in your head. Like snarky blondes with curvy hips, a perky ass and a smile that could make grown men weep at her feet.

No matter what I do, where I go or how hard I try to put her out of my mind, she just won’t go away. Her bright blue eyes, pert little nose and bright red lips haunt my every waking moment. And when I’m asleep, it’s her rejection that invades my dreams.

For the first time in my life, I’ve been completely transfixed by a woman. It took only a split second to know I had to make her mine. In what capacity is still to be determined. Not one for relationships, I can’t honestly sit here and tell you that I’m dying to put a ring on her finger. What I can tell you is that I’ve got to find a way to convince her to take a chance on me, or move the hell on. This obsession has led me to do things that under any other circumstance would cause me to feel shame and embarrassment.

But when it comes to Clara, my pride has abandoned me. No matter how many blows to my ego she delivers or how much ribbing I get from the guys, nothing can stop me from pursuing her. She’s putting up a good fight, but I’m patient and stubborn. A combination that will either get me what I want or be the end of me.

CHAPTER ONE

Clara

What was that? My ridiculously good looking yet miserably boring date for the night yelled over the shouts of the crowd when I muttered a few obscenities to myself.

The baseball game had been my idea. What man doesn’t enjoy a ball game? This one, apparently.

I had the perfect seats, too. Second row right behind first base. It took me a month of sucking up to my big brother CJ to get those tickets. Jade Securities had done a job recently for the owner of the Yankees. It took one quick call for him to get the tickets but CJ hated asking anyone for anything. Getting him to pick up that damn phone had taken tremendous effort.

So all my hard work scoring the perfect freaking tickets? Wasted. Alex showed up to my apartment in pressed dress slacks, a plaid button-up shirt and loafers. Loafers! Who wears loafers to a baseball game? Hell, who wears loafers in general? Alex. Alex wears loafers.

Nothing, I shouted back without taking my eyes off the field. I refused to look anywhere other than at the game for two reasons: One, I didn’t want to miss anything. Two, I’d just spotted Liam walking our way in my peripheral.

Oh, Liam. (When you read that, picture me letting out a long, heavy sigh of exasperation.)

On a good day you might say our relationship was a tad contemptuous. And that's a good day. You don't even want to know what a bad day looked like...

We'd gotten off on the wrong foot and I was completely innocent. That's not just me trying to play the victim, it's seriously the truth.

Since Liam worked at Jade Securities for my brother, CJ, we'd been around each other in a few casual settings but never interacted. The first time we spoke apparently wound up causing him a lot of grief.

It went something like this...

Everyone had been invited to an impromptu dinner at my mom's, Liam included. He brought dessert. I am a well-known lover of all things that contain sugar. So, in a fit of joy, I launched myself at him and asked him to marry me.

It was a joke. An obvious one. I mean, I immediately stole the dessert out of his hands and walked away. I didn't even look back, so what happened next is all hearsay. My sources are reliable, so don't worry.

How was I supposed to know Liam was the world's most giant commitment-phobe? It was a joke, people. That the idiot doesn't know how to tell the difference between humor and reality isn't really my problem. Regardless, I'm told his reaction caused him to be the subject of extensive ridicule amongst his coworkers for weeks.

BFD. Seriously.

Liam spent the majority of his day planning and executing pranks on his coworkers. Honestly, I wasn't even sure why CJ tolerated his behavior, though I'd never cared enough to ask. Not really my business. But apparently the joker could only dish it out, not take it. Some teasing remarks and jokes at his expense somehow made me enemy number one. And let me remind you - I didn't start the joking, had no idea it was going on and any part I played in all of this was completely unintentional.

None of that mattered to his highness, sir Liam Langford. His precious ego couldn't withstand the good-natured ribbings.

To be fair, I doubted he'd endured any sort of ridicule growing up. He was the kind of attractive that made you both want to hump his leg and stab him in the face just to even the scale a little. Then again, someone like Liam could definitely pull off a facial scar. It'd probably only add to his good looks, if I'm being totally honest.

The man looked like a more muscular, modern day James Dean. Considering my obsession for all things born of the 50s, it wouldn't be much of an assumption to say he was exactly my type. Not the type of guy I normally went for, but definitely the kind I secretly pined after while indulging in movie-style fantasies. The clichéd bad boy falling for the good girl type of nonsense.

Realistically, I knew his kind to be the absolute worst for a girl like me. You know, the kind of girl who starts planning her wedding at age five and convinces herself every boy who pays her a lick of attention is the one. I fall hard and fast, only to crash and burn in the end. And we're talking about the 'safe' guys, here. The damage a man like Liam could do? Catastrophic.

At first, lusting after him wasn't a problem. Nothing wrong with a little fantasy when spending some alone time with your B.O.B. But when he turned out to be a gigantic ass hat, the fantasies just felt...wrong. That didn't stop them from happening. No matter how hard I tried to redirect my thoughts and think about someone else, it never worked. I continued to lust after a man I despised. And I hated myself a little for it.

My self-loathing combined with his constant antagonistic behavior made for a pretty lethal combination. Typically, I didn't hate people. I wasn't a confrontational person. I aimed to please and if he were anyone else, I'd have been trying to win him over instead of pushing right back every time he shoved. Something about him just got under my skin, though. I lost myself when he was around. He brought out the ugliest side of me. The one that yelled and made scenes and caused drama.

And the sickest part? I kind of liked it.

Warning: You take that to the grave. I've never told anyone that, so I'll know it was you.

Fancy seeing you here Clare-bear, Liam said, taking the empty seat next to me. Ever since he’d heard CJ call me by my childhood nickname he used it constantly. I tried - believe me, I tried - to not let him get a reaction out of me. It never, ever worked. Even if I managed to keep my blood pressure down and my face blank, I could feel the heat crawling up my neck and spreading until my cheeks were on fire.

Hey, Alex, I yelled over the ballpark announcer. Giving Liam my back, I tried to engage my date. I should have just plugged my ears, squeezed my eyes shut and sang nanananana instead. My dud of a date only tossed a barrel of gasoline onto the fire.

This asshole just spilled beer on my shoes! Alex yelled, stabbing his finger toward the ground. In case I didn't know where his shoes were located, I guess. These are three hundred dollar shoes, and this idiot just ruined them!

What I wanted to do was roll my eyes, but my manners wouldn't allow it. The only time I ever said or did exactly what I wanted was around my closest friends and family. The very few I knew would accept me no matter what. This guy obviously wouldn't be joining that little group. Still, that didn't mean I couldn't be polite.

I'm sorry. I'm sure it was an accident, I tried to reason. Alex, however, did not appreciate my rational approach.

Accident, my ass! If he wasn't shit-faced and screaming at the top of his lungs like a hick then it wouldn't have happened!

My patience waned. A lot. I could tolerate someone being rude to me, but name calling and passing judgment of complete strangers? Not cool.

Just let it go, Alex. We'll find you a new pair of shoes.

Alex opened his mouth, probably to offer some sort of asinine rebuttal, but a whiney, high-pitched feminine voice cut him off.

Liam, I’m thirsty.

Nails on a freaking chalkboard. Like a combination of a petulant toddler and a spoiled sorority girl.

I tried to put my focus back on the game. I'd already missed the last fifteen minutes, which made me seriously peeved. Despite Liam and whatever nonsense he was trying to conjure up and my boujee date, I really wanted to be there. I'd always been a die-hard baseball fan but rarely got to see games live. If they ruined this night for me, I would be livid.

Leeeee-uuuum, she whined again. Without permission, my eyes darted to the side to see what the big baby looked like.

Unsurprisingly, Liam had managed to bring a date dressed even more inappropriately than my own. Low cut strapless dress and hooker heels. Classy.

Before looking back to the field I caught Liam placing his hand on her thigh. Probably to calm her down. A hand on the thigh wasn't always sexual. Still, my heart rate spiked and something very similar to jealousy had that blush staining my cheeks again. Normally I loved having a fair complexion. Liam ruined that for me. I couldn't hide a damn thing from him because of it.

Calm down, Krista, Liam ordered in a gentle tone.

The leggy brunette scoffed. Calm down? Are you serious right now? Her voice carried, making it impossible not to eavesdrop. And, okay, maybe I leaned a little closer so I could hear better. I just had a feeling it was about to get interesting.

Krista did not disappoint.

I'm wearing a six-hundred-dollar dress and sitting on a disgusting plastic seat in the middle of a baseball court.

Field, Liam corrected. If she heard, she ignored him.

Did you seriously think taking someone like me to someplace like this was a good idea? This is where you bring your sister or an uggo you're taking on a date as a favor. You don't take a beautiful, classy woman to a sports...thing.

Since no one could see me, I let my eyes roll heavenward. I was going to kill CJ for not telling me he'd given the other two tickets to Liam.

Do you know them? Alex asked, leaning close enough to my ear that I could smell his mouthwash. At least he didn’t have nasty breath.

Only the guy, I muttered then jumped out of my seat when Gary Sanchez hit a beauty over the head of the Reds’ center fielder, Billy Hamilton.

Sanchez came to a stop on second base just as the argument between Liam and his sex bunny got heated.

If I buy you a drink will you chill the fuck out? He barked right when I took a drink of my giant cup of beer. The timing was both horrible and perfect, because beer suddenly came shooting out of my nose.

Ugh! Disgusting! Alex yelled, fervently wiping his chinos. It hadn't even sprayed in his direction. Drama queen.

Liam started pounding on my back. Why does everyone always do that? When someone is choking, beating the crap out of them isn't going to help.

I waved him off, trying to discreetly wipe my nose in case snot came out with the beer. Embarrassing.

Who is that? Krista demanded. I didn't have to look at her to know she was pouting.

Clara, Liam answered with no further explanation.

How do you know her?

Liam ignored her, keeping his attention on me.

Are you okay?

I nodded but refused to meet his eyes. The sympathy in his voice felt like a trap.

The Kiss Cam started making rounds in the stadium. People’s shocked faces morphed into awkward kisses all over the LED screens.

Alex put his arm around my shoulders and I had to bite my cheek to keep from cringing. Bringing him was a mistake. My dating life was mostly a revolving door of first dates. I loved the beginning of a relationship. The nerves, the butterflies, the spark. Except I'd yet to find anyone who caused any of those emotions in me, so I rarely made it past one date. Still, I wasn't giving up hope. Eventually I'd meet someone worth keeping around. My frog was out there somewhere.

Just when I thought my night couldn't get worse, the Kiss Cam landed squarely on our little section with the four of us front and center in the picture. Liam’s date tugged on him, trying to get his attention but his eyes stayed frozen on the screen.

Secretly, I'd always imagined getting kissed on the Kiss Cam. In my fantasy it was passionate and heated and everyone in the stadium catcalled and made whooping sounds. I would blush when we finally pulled away and he would stare into my eyes lovingly, his affection clear to everyone watching. To be claimed publicly like that? Just the idea made my heart flutter.

Only it wasn't my date I yearned to have kiss me right then. For a moment, it was Liam that I wished would pull me to him and kiss the hell out of me right there for everyone to see.

But he wouldn’t, even if we didn't have our own dates sitting next to us. A few times I'd mistaken the excited look in his eyes for sexual interest. Turned out, his excitement had everything to do with the sick joy he got out of riling me up and nothing to do with me as a woman.

See, Liam had a type. Tall, runway model thin and brunette. Well, according to Malcolm who very often played the role of wingman. I was none of those things. Short, curvy and blonde whose lips were almost permanently stained bright red courtesy of my Ruby Rush lip lacquer by Tom Ford. Not to mention my propensity for wearing my own designs which revolved mostly around a modern take on the 50s era. In other words, I was the complete and total opposite of the woman next to him.

That harsh reality hit me like a sack of Louboutin’s. Not flats, either. More like four-inch stilettos with extra sharp heels. Felt like a few of them may have even pierced a lung.

I didn't want to think about my attraction to Liam. And I definitely didn't want to acknowledge how much it hurt when reminded he'd never return said attraction. So I did the first thing that popped in my stupid, stupid brain. I turned to Alex, grabbed his face and kissed him. Hard. The crowd went crazy, but when Alex opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, I pulled back.

If Liam had taken the opportunity to kiss his own date I didn’t want to know so I sat back in my chair and avoided looking in his direction. I lasted all of thirty seconds before my eyes drifted his way. All the air whooshed from my lungs when I found him to be sitting a respectable distance away from Krista. Her lips weren't swollen and red, the way mine probably looked. His jaw was clenched, that little muscle in his jaw ticking away. Angry Liam rarely came out to play, but he definitely looked pissed now.

Maybe he'd tried to kiss Krista and she rejected him. The thought made me giggle.

His eyes darted to the side, catching mine. I