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    HBR Guide to Emotional Intelligence (HBR Guide Series)
    HBR Guide to Emotional Intelligence (HBR Guide Series)
    HBR Guide to Emotional Intelligence (HBR Guide Series)
    Ebook232 pages2 hours

    HBR Guide to Emotional Intelligence (HBR Guide Series)

    By Harvard Business Review

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    About this ebook

    Managing the human side of work

    Research by Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and coauthor of Primal Leadership, has shown that emotional intelligence is a more powerful determinant of good leadership than technical competence, IQ, or vision.

    Influencing those around us and supporting our own well-being requires us to be self-aware, know when and how to regulate our emotional reactions, and understand the emotional responses of those around us. No wonder emotional intelligence has become one of the crucial criteria in hiring and promotion.

    But luckily it’s not just an innate trait: Emotional intelligence is composed of skills that all of us can learn and improve on. In this guide, you’ll learn how to:

    • Determine your emotional intelligence strengths and weaknesses
    • Understand and manage your emotional reactions
    • Deal with difficult people
    • Make smarter decisions
    • Bounce back from tough times
    • Help your team develop emotional intelligence

    Arm yourself with the advice you need to succeed on the job, with the most trusted brand in business. Packed with how-to essentials from leading experts, the HBR Guides provide smart answers to your most pressing work challenges.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarvard Business Review Press
    Release dateJun 6, 2017
    ISBN9781633692732
    HBR Guide to Emotional Intelligence (HBR Guide Series)
    Author

    Harvard Business Review

    Harvard Business Review es sin lugar a dudas la referencia más influyente en el sector editorial en temas de gestión y desarrollo de personas y de organizaciones. En sus publicaciones participan investigadores de reconocimiento y prestigio internacional, lo que hace que su catálogo incluya una gran cantidad de obras que se han convertido en best-sellers traducidos a múltiples idiomas.

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      Book preview

      HBR Guide to Emotional Intelligence (HBR Guide Series) - Harvard Business Review

      HBR Guide to

      Emotional Intelligence

      Harvard Business Review Guides

      Arm yourself with the advice you need to succeed on the job, from the most trusted brand in business. Packed with how-to essentials from leading experts, the HBR Guides provide smart answers to your most pressing work challenges.

      The titles include:

      HBR Guide to Being More Productive

      HBR Guide to Better Business Writing

      HBR Guide to Building Your Business Case

      HBR Guide to Buying a Small Business

      HBR Guide to Coaching Employees

      HBR Guide to Data Analytics Basics for Managers

      HBR Guide to Delivering Effective Feedback

      HBR Guide to Emotional Intelligence

      HBR Guide to Finance Basics for Managers

      HBR Guide to Getting the Right Work Done

      HBR Guide to Leading Teams

      HBR Guide to Making Every Meeting Matter

      HBR Guide to Managing Stress at Work

      HBR Guide to Managing Up and Across

      HBR Guide to Negotiating

      HBR Guide to Office Politics

      HBR Guide to Performance Management

      HBR Guide to Persuasive Presentations

      HBR Guide to Project Management

      HBR Guide to

      Emotional Intelligence

      HARVARD BUSINESS REVIEW PRESS

      Boston, Massachusetts

      HBR Press Quantity Sales Discounts

      Harvard Business Review Press titles are available at significant quantity discounts when purchased in bulk for client gifts, sales promotions, and premiums. Special editions, including books with corporate logos, customized covers, and letters from the company or CEO printed in the front matter, as well as excerpts of existing books, can also be created in large quantities for special needs.

      For details and discount information for both print and ebook formats, contact booksales@harvardbusiness.org, tel. 800-988-0886, or www.hbr.org/bulksales.

      Copyright 2017 Harvard Business School Publishing Corporation

      All rights reserved

      No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior permission of the publisher. Requests for permission should be directed to permissions@hbsp.harvard.edu, or mailed to Permissions, Harvard Business School Publishing, 60 Harvard Way, Boston, Massachusetts 02163.

      The web addresses referenced in this book were live and correct at the time of the book’s publication but may be subject to change.

      Library of Congress cataloging-in-publication data is forthcoming.

      ISBN: 9781633692725

      eISBN: 9781633692732

      What You’ll Learn

      It’s been two decades since Daniel Goleman’s research showed that emotional intelligence is twice as important as other skills in determining outstanding leadership. By managing your emotions and relating well to others, he explained, you can achieve higher levels of influence as well as personal well-being.

      This kind of emotional intelligence is not just an innate trait: It can be learned. Becoming more finely attuned to your own emotions allows you to determine how to use those feelings more productively to make stronger decisions, overcome negative thoughts, control yourself in volatile situations, or understand others when they act in a way that surprises or angers you. Getting feedback from trusted colleagues and friends can keep you honest and aware of your areas of weakness, especially in the social sphere. And whether you’re writing a difficult email, looking to keep your cool in a bitter negotiation, or managing an upset direct report, an array of frameworks and tactics can help you approach the situation in a way that takes the human element into account.

      This guide will help you navigate these approaches. You’ll get better at:

      Identifying and managing your own emotions

      Persuading and influencing others

      Dealing with difficult colleagues

      Responding to stress productively

      Defusing tense conversations

      Using your feelings as data to help you make smarter decisions

      Avoiding emotional pitfalls in a negotiation

      Reacting to tough situations with resilience

      Helping others on your team develop their emotional intelligence

      Developing a strong emotional culture

      Contents

      SECTION ONE: What Is Emotional Intelligence?

      1. Leading by Feel

      Definitions and reflections from experts.

      2. Do You Lead with Emotional Intelligence?

      Quiz yourself.

      BY ANNIE MCKEE

      SECTION TWO: Self-Awareness: Understand Your Emotions, Know Your Behaviors

      3. You Can’t Manage Emotions Without Knowing What They Really Are

      Don’t just try to ignore your negative feelings.

      BY ART MARKMAN

      4. A Vocabulary for Your Emotions

      Get precise.

      BY SUSAN DAVID

      5. Are You Sure You Show Respect?

      No other leadership behavior has a bigger effect on employees.

      BY CHRISTINE PORATH

      SECTION THREE: Manage Your Emotions

      6. Make Your Emotions Work for You

      Use them as data.

      BY SUSAN DAVID

      7. Defuse a Challenging Interaction

      Reframe negative thoughts and neutralize bad behavior.

      8. Stay Grounded in Stressful Moments

      Use your body to take a break from your mind’s chatter.

      BY LEAH WEISS

      9. Recovering from an Emotional Outburst

      You can’t just apologize and move on.

      BY SUSAN DAVID

      SECTION FOUR: Everyday Emotional Intelligence

      10. Writing Resonant Emails

      Human communication for the digital age.

      BY ANDREW BRODSKY

      11. Running Powerful Meetings

      Use empathy to understand potential conflicts.

      BY ANNIE MCKEE

      12. Giving Difficult Feedback

      Spark growth rather than frustration.

      BY MONIQUE VALCOUR

      13. Making Smart Decisions

      Emotional tagging both helps and hinders our ability to choose.

      BY ANDREW CAMPBELL, JO WHITEHEAD, AND SYDNEY FINKELSTEIN

      14. An Emotional Strategy for Negotiations

      How to avoid the pitfalls of anxiety and anger.

      BY ALISON WOOD BROOKS

      15. Working Across Cultures

      It’s harder to read others across borders.

      BY ANDY MOLINSKY

      SECTION FIVE: Dealing with Difficult People

      16. Make Your Enemies Your Allies

      Reverse a rivalry by building trust.

      BY BRIAN UZZI AND SHANNON DUNLAP

      17. How to Deal with a Passive-Aggressive Colleague

      Cut to the underlying issues.

      BY AMY GALLO

      18. What to Do If You’re a Toxic Handler

      Don’t be a hero.

      BY SANDRA L. ROBINSON AND KIRA SCHABRAM

      SECTION SIX: Understand Empathy

      19. What Is Empathy?

      Three types critical for leaders.

      BY DANIEL GOLEMAN

      20. Beyond Empathy: The Power of Compassion

      The Dalai Lama, cognitive science, and the power of caring.

      BY DANIEL GOLEMAN (INTERVIEWED BY ANDREA OVANS)

      SECTION SEVEN: Build Your Resilience

      21. Resilience in the Moment

      Recovering your self-image.

      22. Cultivate Resilience in Tough Times

      Three traits of people who emerge stronger from trauma.

      BY DIANE COUTU

      23. Practice Self-Compassion

      Treat yourself as you would others.

      BY CHRISTOPHER GERMER

      24. Don’t Endure; Recharge

      Resilience isn’t about powering through.

      BY SHAWN ACHOR AND MICHELLE GIELAN

      25. How Resilient Are You?

      A self-assessment.

      BY MANFRED F. R. KETS DE VRIES

      SECTION EIGHT: Developing Emotional Intelligence on Your Team

      26. How to Help Someone Develop Emotional Intelligence

      It’s not as easy as a carrot or a stick.

      BY ANNIE MCKEE

      27. Handling Emotional Outbursts on Your Team Watch for facts, emotions, and values.

      BY LIANE DAVEY

      28. How to Manage Your Emotional Culture

      Translate the organization’s mission to the micromoments of everyday work life.

      BY SIGAL BARSADE AND OLIVIA A. O’NEILL

      Index

      SECTION ONE

      What Is Emotional Intelligence?

      CHAPTER 1

      Leading by Feel

      Like it or not, leaders need to manage the mood of their organizations. The most gifted leaders accomplish that by using a mysterious blend of psychological abilities known as emotional intelligence. They’re self-aware and empathetic. They can read and regulate their own emotions while intuitively grasping how others feel and gauging their organization’s emotional state.

      But where does emotional intelligence come from? And how do leaders learn to use it? The management literature (and even common sense) suggests that both nature and nurture feed emotional intelligence. Part genetic predisposition, part life experience, and part old-fashioned training, emotional intelligence emerges in varying degrees from one leader to the next, and managers apply it with varying skill. Wisely and compassionately deployed, emotional intelligence spurs leaders, their people, and their organizations to superior performance; naively or maliciously applied, it can paralyze leaders or allow them to manipulate followers for personal gain.

      We invited 18 leaders and scholars (including business executives, leadership researchers, psychologists, a neurologist, a cult expert, and a symphony conductor) to explore the nature and management of emotional intelligence—its sources, uses, and abuses. Their responses differed dramatically, but there were some common themes: the importance of consciously and conscientiously honing one’s skills, the double-edged nature of self-awareness, and the danger of letting any one emotional intelligence skill dominate. Here are some of their perspectives.

      Be Realistic

      John D. Mayer is a professor of psychology at the University of New Hampshire. He and Yale psychology professor Peter Salovey are credited with first defining the concept of emotional intelligence in the early 1990s.

      This is a time of growing realism about emotional intelligence—especially concerning what it is and what it isn’t. The books and articles that have helped popularize the concept have defined it as a loose collection of personality traits, such as self-awareness, optimism, and tolerance. These popular definitions have been accompanied by exaggerated claims about the importance of emotional intelligence. But diverse personality traits, however admirable, don’t necessarily add up to a single definition of emotional intelligence. In fact, such traits are difficult to collectively evaluate in a way that reveals their relationship to success in business and in life.

      Even when they’re viewed in isolation, the characteristics commonly associated with emotional intelligence and success may be more complicated than they seem. For example, the scientific jury is out on how important self-awareness is to successful leadership. In fact, too much self-awareness can reduce self-esteem, which is often a crucial component of great leadership.

      From a scientific standpoint, emotional intelligence is the ability to accurately perceive your own and others’ emotions; to understand the signals that emotions send about relationships; and to manage your own and others’ emotions. It doesn’t necessarily include the qualities (like optimism, initiative, and self-confidence) that some popular definitions ascribe to it.

      Researchers have used performance tests to measure people’s accuracy at identifying and understanding emotions; for example, asking them to identify the emotions conveyed by a face or which among several situations is most likely to bring about happiness. People who get high scores on these tests are indeed different from others. In the business world, they appear better able to deal with customers’ complaints or to mediate disputes, and they may excel at making strong and positive personal connections with subordinates and customers over the long term. Of course, emotional intelligence isn’t the only way to attain success as a leader: A brilliant strategist who can maximize profits may be able to hire and keep talented employees even if he or she doesn’t have strong personal connections with them.

      Is there value in scales that, based on popular conceptions, measure qualities like optimism and self-confidence but label them emotional intelligence? Certainly, these personality traits are important in business, so measuring and (sometimes) enhancing them can be useful. But recent research makes it clear that these characteristics are distinct from emotional intelligence as it is scientifically defined. A person high in emotional intelligence may be realistic rather than optimistic and insecure rather than confident. Conversely, a person may be highly self-confident and optimistic but lack emotional intelligence. The danger lies in assuming that because a person is optimistic or confident, they are also emotionally intelligent, when, in fact, the presence of those traits will tell you nothing of the sort.

      Never Stop Learning

      Daniel Goleman is the cochair of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations based at Rutgers University’s Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology in Piscataway, New Jersey.

      You can be a successful leader without much emotional intelligence if you’re extremely lucky and you’ve got everything else going for you: booming markets, bumbling competitors, and clueless higher-ups. If you’re incredibly smart, you can cover for an absence of emotional intelligence until things get tough for the business. But at that point, you won’t have built up the social capital needed to pull the best out of people under tremendous pressure. The art of sustained leadership is getting others to produce superior work, and high IQ alone is insufficient to that task.

      The good news is that emotional intelligence can be learned and improved at any age. In fact, data shows that, on average, people’s emotional intelligence tends to increase as they age. But the specific leadership competencies that are based on emotional intelligence don’t necessarily come through life experience. For example, one of the most common complaints I hear about leaders, particularly newly promoted ones, is that they lack empathy. The problem is that they were promoted because they were outstanding individual performers—and being a solo achiever doesn’t teach you the skills necessary to understand other people’s concerns.

      Leaders who are motivated to improve their emotional intelligence can do so if they’re given the right information, guidance, and support. The information they need is a candid assessment of their strengths and limitations from people who know them well and whose opinions they trust. The guidance they need is a specific developmental plan that uses naturally occurring workplace encounters as the laboratory for learning. The support they need is someone to talk to as they practice how to handle different situations, what to do when they’ve blown it, and how to learn from those setbacks. If leaders cultivate these resources and practice continually, they can develop specific emotional intelligence skills—skills that will last for years.

      5 COMPONENTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

      In 1998, in what has become one of HBR’s most enduring articles, What Makes a Leader? Daniel Goleman introduced a framework of five components of emotional intelligence that allow individuals to recognize, connect with, and learn from their own and

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