Kin: A Dark YA Urban Fantasy: Daughters of Lilith Paranormal Thrillers, #5

1

Asnow sparkled under the January sun like a carpet of diamonds. I studied it, letting my mind drift, lulled by the tranquil scene. This idyllic winter landscape seemed almost alien when juxtaposed against the pain and chaos of the last month .

As my mind brushed against unhappy memories, a twinge of pain spiked through the wound in my shoulder. I was still healing—that in and of itself was odd. Since my Lilitu powers had manifested, my physical body recovered from injury at an insane pace. A nasty bruise? Check back in an hour. A broken arm? Give me a couple of days. But this wound was different.

I felt myself drawing dangerously close to reliving the moment of the stabbing and focused my attention back on the view through the window. A tiny bird touched down on the edge of a branch, setting loose a shimmery dusting of snow in the process. A moment later, it was aloft again, darting off into the cold.

Someone slammed a hand down on the table to my left. I jerked my eyes back to the meeting. Dad was growling something low and heated at Clay over the Guard’s dining table. It didn’t matter what they disagreed over; Dad would never trust Clay, never forgive him. Clay was the one who’d driven the Guardsmen’s dagger into my back, slicing through skin and muscle and sinew. Clay had almost killed my best friend Cassie on the side of that cliff. Clay had sabotaged our ritual before we’d been able to sever the connection between Lilith and the last acolyte—

I shook my head, fighting another swell of anxiety, and forced myself to count my breaths. When I had the panic attack under control, I looked back up.

Beside Clay, Sutherland’s eyes narrowed with gathering anger. Gretchen sat back in her chair, arms crossed over her chest, wearing a hostile expression. She snapped something across the table at Sandra and Sandra responded, eyes bright with agitation. Only Matthew studied the group with anything approaching concern in his face. He made a half-hearted stab at calming Gretchen down, but she shrugged his hand off her shoulder.

They’d been shouting at each other for the better part of an hour. My council. I felt my lips tighten in a humorless smile. Thane may have nominated me to head the Guard, but not even he pretended to defer to me at these meetings. I felt about as useful as a mascot. Something to be trotted out when it was time to boost team spirit, then shoved back into the closet when the grown-ups were ready to tend to business. Sometimes I wondered why they even bothered with the pretense of having me at these meetings.

I tried to catch Dad’s eye, but he was too focused on Clay to see the motion. I cleared my throat. It was an empty gesture; no one could hear me over the din. As the argument reached its crescendo, it was Thane’s voice that finally broke through.

Until we know more, any action on our part would border on insane! Thane fixed his rage on Sutherland, but the words were meant for Clay. The table fell silent. Tension crackled in the air between the two men. I felt another twinge of helpless guilt.

Clay stiffened in his seat. We’ve been sitting on our heels since the solstice.

What more do you suggest we do, Clay? Thane’s voice rasped in the silence. "We’ve got patrols canvassing the town 24/7. Our spotters might get four hours of sleep on a good night. If we push our already limited forces any harder, they’ll be useless when it comes time to actually fight."

"Which is why now is the time to press her. Now, when we’re strong and she’s weak. Clay very deliberately laid the palms of his hands on the table. His eyes flicked toward me for the briefest moment before returning to Thane. The longer we wait, the more time she’ll have to gather her strength."

We have no idea what her current status is. Thane kept his voice even, but his hands were clenched tightly around the arms of his chair. We have no way of knowing whether or not she’s at full strength—

Then why hasn’t she attacked? What is she waiting for? Clay glanced around at the table, exasperated.

I sighed inwardly. The problem was, there was no good solution for our present troubles. Everyone had an opinion about what we should be doing, but nothing changed the fact that Lilith had returned. Despite everything we’d done to keep her out, to weaken her and sabotage her plans, she was here. In the world. Hiding.

Thane had no answer for Clay. His jaws snapped shut, but his eyes smoldered. Part of me almost wished Lilith would make a move, just so we’d have something to respond to.

Pain exploded through my head, instant and blinding. I felt my throat burn with a scream, but I couldn’t hear it. An oily presence flooded my mind, blocking out every physical sense, suffocating any thought before it could surface. I was only dimly aware of my body spasming, but even then it wasn’t a sensation I could articulate. I had no time to wonder if I was having a seizure—if I was dying. Only the pain was real. Bone-crushing, living, writhing pain.

The presence turned inside my mind, flexing, testing its power. Her power. Intense terror flooded up through my core, but even that was too weak to do more than lap against the alien presence.

And then a white-hot fire poured into my mind, spreading into a golden warmth that cascaded through my body. I felt the invading intelligence recoil from the light, withdrawing its oily power. It fled, leaving me shaken and weak.

In half a heartbeat, my senses returned. My ears filled with a keening sob and only when I hitched in a breath of fresh air did I realize the sounds were pouring out of my own throat. I opened my eyes. I lay on the rough wood floor of the Guard’s house, curled on my side in a fetal position. Slowly, I uncoiled my hands from around my knees and pushed myself up to a sitting position. The room spun, and I had to fight the urge to collapse.

In front of me, the massive table was laying on its side. I dimly wondered if I’d knocked it over or if the Guard had shoved it aside to reach me. They were staring down at me with expressions ranging from astonishment to wonder. No, not staring at me…

I turned. The angel knelt behind me revealed in his true form. I slit my eyes against the brightness, but I could tell it was Sansenoy, even if I couldn’t make out his features. He reached for me, arms encircling my shoulders. He picked me up. I let my head rest against his chest, reveling in the sensation. I’d touched him only a few times before this moment, brief touches that had conveyed a sense of agelessness and power. Being held by him… it was like being cradled by granite warmed under the sun. Strong and steady, yes, but there was something ancient about him, too. I’d never sensed it so clearly; Sansenoy was more force of nature than living being, no matter how well he could blend in with us when he chose.

Sansenoy set me on my feet, and I let out a sigh when he released me. I opened my eyes, feeling stronger. The Guard stood before us, frozen in fear and amazement. I glanced back at Sansenoy, shielding my eyes with my hand.

My apologies, Daughter of Lilith. Sansenoy’s angel aspect fell away, leaving behind a somewhat scraggly-looking old man in its place. He studied me with evident concern on his face. Are you alright?

I am now. But even as I said the words, my mind spilled over the event. I had to swallow hard before I could force myself to ask the question. Was that…? That was her, wasn’t it?

Sansenoy nodded.

Another chill moved over me. How did you know? I tried to read something in his face, but he was inscrutable.

I sensed her moving on you. It is something I have anticipated for some time. He tilted his head, studying me with a grave expression. Be careful, child. She is aware of you now.

Someone let out a low breath behind us. Dad took a step toward me, looking haggard. She…? You mean Lilith?

Sansenoy turned his attention to my father, as though he was only now realizing we weren’t alone. Yes.

You knew she would attack Braedyn? Dad’s eyes shifted to mine. The naked terror in his gaze wrenched something deep within my chest. I gave him a watery smile, hoping to ease some of his fear. Judging by his expression, my efforts failed pretty spectacularly. Dad’s eyes narrowed on Sansenoy. Why didn’t you warn us?

You misunderstand. This was not an attack. Sansenoy sounded faintly surprised.

It wasn’t? My voice sounded strained in my ears. It sure felt like an attack.

I believe she was attempting to establish a connection with you. Sansenoy shrugged. Do not forget, she has been asleep for eons. She is only now beginning to regain consciousness.

I hesitated, dredging up an uncomfortable memory. But I sensed her in my friend Cassie’s mind months ago.

Sansenoy frowned. She has been stirring for centuries, but the last time she was fully lucid, your English language had not yet been established. Be assured; we will know if she regains full consciousness.

If… I swallowed, my mouth suddenly going dry. You’re saying that thing she just did… hijacking my mind—

Hijacking? Sansenoy frowned, considering this. It might be more accurately described as cataloging, given that she must understand your mind quite intimately in order to effectively communicate with…

Whatever. I interrupted him, failing to conceal my rising panic. You’re saying she did that while still half-asleep?

Sansenoy inclined his head in assent. I was turning this over in my head when Clay cleared his throat.

I assume this is the fabled Sansenoy. Clay approached Sansenoy with a confidence I’d never been able to muster. Every movement Clay made seemed easy and self-assured. He stopped before Sansenoy and made a formal bow. If you’ll permit me to speak for the Guard, we are honored by your presence. Please let us know how we may be of assistance to you in this fight.

Sansenoy flicked a disinterested glance over Clay. Then the angel turned his back on the former leader of the Guard and focused his attention on me once again. Clay clamped his mouth shut, but I saw his eyes over Sansenoy’s shoulder, glittering with a surprise that morphed quickly into dark anger. Before I could worry too much about what Clay might be thinking, Sansenoy spoke again.

It would benefit us all to stop Lilith before she regains full consciousness.

Sansenoy, I… I shook my head. Frustration and anxiety twined around my ribcage, making it hard to breathe. We’ve been trying. We’ve been looking for Emma since the night of… my voice caught. Images of the pretty college girl rose in my mind’s eye. Emma was one of three girls Idris had recruited to become acolytes for Lilith. Cassie and Carrie—the other two girls—had escaped Lilith’s clutches with their minds intact. Emma hadn’t been as fortunate. Lilith had claimed her body as a vessel in order to return to this world. I cleared my throat and forced myself to continue. Since the night of the solstice. There’s been no sign of her. I’m not even convinced she’s still in Puerto Escondido.

She is here. Sansenoy’s voice dropped dangerously low. She will be tied to this place until… Whatever he was about to say, the angel seemed to change his mind. Lilith is accustomed to being hunted. You will not find her with your Guardsmen. She will sense their intentions long before they see her.

I stared at Sansenoy, a sudden anger flaring to life in my belly. Okay. Sure. Quick question, how are we supposed to find her if we can’t look for her?

I did not say you could not look for her. Sansenoy’s brows lowered. He looked exasperated. Only that you could not send out your Guardsmen to do the job. He must have read the frustration on my face. You are Lilitu, are you not? You have the power to look through another’s eyes.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sandra react. I turned. The Archivist’s face had lit up with a sudden excitement.

Excuse me, Braedyn, Clay’s voice drew my attention away from Sandra. He flashed me a smile, but it couldn’t quite disguise his anger at being brushed off. Perhaps you could ask your friend what is keeping Lilith from attacking.

I didn’t care for the condescending tone, but Clay was right. I glanced at Sansenoy. Is she weak right now? Is that why she’s not coming for us?

Sansenoy hesitated. I wasn’t used to seeing the angel uncertain. After a long moment, Sansenoy let out a breath. There remains one final obstacle preventing her from regaining her full Lilitu powers in this plane, but with the forces she could undoubtedly draw to her aid, I fail to see how this would be enough to hold her back.

What obstacle? Clay’s voice cut through the uncomfortable silence Sansenoy’s pronouncement had left in its wake.

Sansenoy turned his gaze back to Clay. That is not for you to concern yourself with, Guardsman. Suffice it to say; this obstacle would be nearly impossible for Lilith to overcome. Sansenoy’s eyes seemed to lose their focus. I am needed on another plane.

You’re leaving? I abandoned any pretense of trying to control my panic. What if Lilith attacked me again, only this time Sansenoy wasn’t fast enough to drive her out?

Sansenoy rested a hand on my shoulder. For a moment, I saw through his human guise to the gleaming form beneath. Be at ease, daughter of Lilith. You are safe from her reach for the time. Questions poured through my head, but Sansenoy’s gaze grew unfocused again. I will visit again.

Half a heartbeat later, he was gone. The last of the golden warmth he’d kindled in my chest faded.

A few of the Guardsmen let out shaking breaths, breaking the sudden silence. This would have been the first time many of them had seen an angel in the flesh. My eyes sought out the newcomers to judge their reactions. Clay’s expression was hard and closed off. Sutherland chewed the corner of his lip, lost in thought. Sandra was already bending to help Dad and Thane right the table. Her thick black hair was plaited in long braids that—right now—curtained off her face from view. But when she raised her head, I saw a determination in the set of her jaw.

She noticed me watching and straightened. After checking to make sure Dad and Thane had the table under control, Sandra made her way toward me.

You have an idea? I studied her face, eager for some good news. I liked the Archivist. She had a warm personality and a lilting British accent.

Not sure it qualifies as a full-blown idea, but it might be a place to start. Your friend… and here she paused, licking her lips. I could see the curiosity burning behind her eyes. Was that really Sansenoy? Like the ‘from the Garden, sent after Lilith and her children’ Sansenoy? I nodded. Sandra gave a low whistle. Bit scruffy, though, isn’t he?

Sandra…? I didn’t try to disguise my impatience.

Sandra gave herself a small shake and smiled. Right. Right. So, being an Archivist, I read a lot of books. No surprise there. But I remember a passage—I can’t place where it comes from just now, but I’m sure it’s in my notes—listing off all the… abilities I guess you could call them… that Lilitu are capable of performing. There were the obvious ones we all know; draining a man’s vitality in a physical attack, the mental manipulations like enthralling, dream-walking, planting ideas, stealing memories…

She ticked them off her fingers, listing them like they were nothing more than items in a furniture catalog. But I felt a wash of shame or fear or guilt as she listed each Lilitu ability. I’d sacrificed too much of my precious humanity utilizing these mental manipulations with the aim of keeping Lilith from retaking this world for herself and her daughters.

Get to the point. I didn’t mean to snap at her so sharply, but I felt a wash of relief when she stopped cataloging my past sins.

One of the monks described a process he called ‘skimming.’ From what I can tell, he seemed to think a Lilitu might be able to sort of hone in on an image and search the minds of a population for someone who’s seen—or is currently seeing—what she’s looking for. Sandra gave me a searching look. Have you ever done anything like that?

I shook my head, trying to hide my doubts from the Archivist. I’ve managed to sort of hitch-hike in my friend’s heads. First Lucas, the night Ais had ripped him away from our home, vanishing into the darkness. I’d honed in on his mind to locate where Ais had taken him. Then Cassie, when she’d volunteered—bravely or foolishly—to infiltrate Idris’s cult of Lilith worshipers and been selected to become one of Lilith’s acolytes. But I know them. It wasn’t hard to find them.

How to explain to someone who isn’t a Lilitu? There’s an ocean of minds out there. When you’re trying to access a conscious mind… it takes a level of familiarity. It’s much easier to break into dreams, but that wouldn’t help us search for Emma. Even if I managed to find someone who’d seen the acolyte, by the time the witness fell asleep for me to access their unconscious mind, Emma could be long gone.

Right. Sandra didn’t seem to understand the problem. She grinned at me, full of enthusiasm. The monks called that ‘transference of consciousness’ but this is a totally different thing.

I’m listening. I was still skeptical, but Sandra seemed pretty sure of herself.

If I understand this correctly, when you attempt transference of consciousness you’re really trying to seat yourself into someone’s mind, to experience their experience of the world. Yes?

I shrugged. Close enough.

With ‘skimming’ you’re focused on locating a target, not on getting into one individual’s mind. Sandra saw my confusion and clicked her tongue, thinking. Then she brightened. Right, let’s try this. Have you ever gotten into your car to drive home, got lost in some thought or other, and then pulled into your driveway with no memory of how exactly you got there?

I nodded. Like autopilot, or something?

Think of ‘skimming’ as tuning into that surface level of thought—the part of your mind that’s busy driving, watching for pedestrians, making all the right turns to get you home. You’re not trying to eavesdrop on the deeper thinking. You’re just tapping into perception. It’s like using people’s eyes as if they were cameras, switching from one channel to the next until you find the target you’re searching for.

I thought this over, chewing on the corner of my lip. It made a kind of weird sense. If I was just trying to tap into what someone might be looking at rather than slipping into their consciousness, it might be closer to the process of breaking into a sleeping mind than what I’d done with Cassie and Lucas. Not being able to sink into their conscious thought processes wouldn’t matter. All I had to do was find Emma.

That… might work.

Sandra watched me, the grin on her face spreading. Yeah?

I glanced back at the group. They were standing in pairs, talking in low murmurs. Time to get to work. I turned back to Sandra. Sandra, I need to know everything. Everything on that list you found that Lilitu can do. I have no teacher; I don’t even know what’s possible for me to learn how to do. I’m relying on you guys for this kind of information.

Sandra blanched. Yes, of course, Braedyn. I should have thought of that before.

It’s… I forced a more gentle note into my voice. It’s fine. I just want to be prepared. I caught Dad’s eye across the room. He seemed to sense the change in mood.

Let’s wrap this up, people. Assignments. Dad corralled the group back to their seats at the table.

I ran through the week’s assignments, feeling even more like a figurehead. The Guardsman—or woman, in Gretchen’s case—in charge of each section handed me their plan for the week before our meetings. I only read the assignments aloud. No one looked to me for advice or the kind of guidance a real leader might provide. Occasionally I’d offer my thoughts, but these rarely yielded any actual changes. They humored me by listening politely to my ideas, but when it came time to generate the next week’s assignments, my suggestions were more often than not discarded before making the list. I shuffled the sheets and began reading.

Gretchen’s was first. She was in charge of the spotters. I cleared my throat and read through her clipped handwriting. Spotters will continue searching known Lilitu hunting grounds in 16-hour shifts around the clock. I frowned, concerned. There’s a request here; please speak to your units and remind them we need absolute silence on the bunk floor. When they’re not on patrol, they need to be sleeping.

The assembled nodded. The message would be delivered. I understood that the off-duty Guardsmen needed some time to blow off steam, but no one was being asked to sacrifice as much of their sleep as the spotters; we just didn’t have enough of them to cover patrols any other way.

Matthew’s neat printing filled the next sheet. I scanned over the report; a few of the guys who’d arrived with Clay seemed to have developed some bad blood with a couple of the men who’d survived the battle in the mine with us before Clay’s arrival. Matthew was a skilled fighter, but he’d grown into something of a counselor for the Guard since the massacre. His natural empathy and patience made him the perfect choice to oversee the day-to-day operations of the Guard. I think his technical title was ‘Head of Barracks,’ but he’d jokingly referred to himself as the ‘dorm mother’ once and it had stuck. I read over his report and nodded. It looked like he had some good ideas for soothing tensions. Matthew’s going to address a few internal conflicts between Guardsmen.

I caught Gretchen shooting Matthew a private smile and looked away. Their feelings for one another had only grown in the time I’d known them. It gave me hope, knowing that they’d made time for a relationship even as we faced the final battle in a war that could decide the fate of humankind.

The next sheet of paper was covered with Sutherland’s rough scrawl. It had taken me a few tries to learn to decipher his handwriting, but once I was able to distinguish a few of his quirks, it wasn’t as illegible as it had appeared at first glance. Sutherland is going to ramp up training. He’s ready to include spotters in the more advanced forms. I glanced up at Gretchen. You’ll coordinate schedules? Gretchen nodded.

I saw Clay give a slight shake of his head at this. It wasn’t a secret that he thought training spotters to fight was asking for trouble. He believed spotters should be kept out of harm’s way, there only to direct soldiers where to strike. But Gretchen and I had been in enough fights to know that sometimes harm gets in your way. Better to be prepared. It was one of the only suggestions I’d made to the Guard that they’d taken seriously, and I felt a moment’s pride every time it came up.

I flipped to the last page, containing the Archivists’ notes. Thane and Sandra were our last two Archivists; it seemed pointless to declare one of them the head of a group of two, so they both attended council meetings. I read over their list. Thane and Sandra will continue cataloging the new books we’ve recovered from the mission’s library. I looked up and caught Sandra’s eye. You’ll fill Thane in on the other thing?

Sandra nodded. Clay’s eyes sharpened on my face, but he kept his mouth sealed. I set the last paper down, and Clay pushed back from his chair, assuming the meeting was finished. I held up a hand, catching the group’s attention before they could disperse.

Actually, I have one more piece of business to discuss. I tried to fill my voice with the confidence I’d seen in Clay earlier, but it fell short.

Clay’s eyebrow quirked up. He glanced around as if expecting someone to share his exasperation, but the others were waiting for me. Clay sat back down, his lips pressed into a thin line.

I took a deep breath. Knowing they weren’t going to like this didn’t make it any easier to ask. I need her back. I fixed my gaze on Thane. We need another Lilitu helping us. I can’t do it all.

For a moment, the room was silent. Thane stiffened, as I knew he would, but after a long moment, he jerked his head in a reluctant nod. I was surprised by the rush of relief flooding my veins. The victory was short-lived, however.

Are you… you can’t be serious. Clay stood, planting his hands on the table, turning on me with a murderous glare. Karayan? She hasn’t yet answered for her crime.

Which crime? I kept my voice low, but anger boiled at the edges of my calm. The crime of being assaulted? The crime of being falsely accused? Or were you thinking of the crime of self-defense?

Clay drew in a sharp breath, ready to light into me. Thane put a hand on his arm, stopping him before the first word could escape his lips.

Drastic times, old friend. Thane looked grim and tense, but his words seemed to penetrate Clay’s anger. We must set aside our personal feelings for the good of the cause.

Clay clamped his jaws shut. He straightened, crossing his arms over his chest, but made no further comment.

If that’s it, then? Dad glanced at me, waiting for the dismissal. I nodded, and a chorus of chairs scraping back from the table filled the room.

I felt some of the tension ebbing from my back. I’d survived another meeting. Dad joined me in the foyer, handing me my jacket.

You’re full of surprises today, he murmured.

I looked up at him, feeling both weary and guilty. Do you think I’m doing the right thing, bringing her back? Things with Thane have never been easy, but with Clay…?

Dad didn’t answer. Instead, he drew me in for a hug. I let myself melt against him for a moment, but things had changed. He couldn’t fix everything with a hug and some encouraging words. Not anymore.

If you need to offload some of your duties, I would be more than happy to assist you. Clay’s voice slid over my back like a snake. I straightened and turned to face him. He wore a look of compassion that might have fooled someone who didn’t know him as I did.

Thanks for the offer, I said, forcing a smile, but I’ve got it under control.

Well. Clay gave me a frosty smile. If you ever change your mind. With that, Clay retreated up the stairs.

I waited until he’d disappeared around the bend in the upstairs hallway before I let my shoulders slump. Should I let someone else take over? I looked up at Dad. Suddenly all the insecurities I’d been pushing to the back of my head spilled out. I have no idea what I’m doing.

You want to know a secret, kiddo? Dad dropped an arm over my shoulders and lowered his voice. Every good leader doubts their decisions. It’s called the ‘fraud complex.’ It just means you’re taking this seriously, and you know how important our work is.

Yeah. It’s not like the world’s going to end if I mess up. Oh, wait… I slipped into my jacket.

Dad smiled at me, but the smile was full of an aching sadness that chilled me. The hard truth? No one else knows what to do either. And between you and Clay? I’d bet the future of our world on you every time.

Dad reached past me to open the door. He waited for me to exit first. I gave him a smile, but his words didn’t make me feel any better. If anything, they just highlighted my powerlessness.

Who in their right mind would put the fate of the world on the shoulders of a high school girl?

I saw