Love, Luck & Clusterf*ck: Legal, #3

Shamrocks were everywhere. On the floor, on the tables. In my hair. I brushed them aside and set my purse down on the bar top, eyeing the suspicious-colored drink waiting for me. It looked like pureed asparagus. I brought it to my nose and took a sniff. At least it wasn’t beer.

What did you order me? I asked, taking a small sip. It had a mild fruity taste and was very sweet. Not bad. I took a larger gulp.

Leprechaun piss.

I sputtered a bit and then set the glass down, looking over at Christa who was holding an identical version to her lips. She smiled and tipped back half the contents in one go.

I laughed. Seriously? I intercepted a falling clover before it drowned to the bottom of my drink. I glanced around. Where the hell were these things coming from?

She shrugged. Not the most charming of names, but who cares. It’s good, right?

Yeah. I took another swig, figuring I was better off not knowing exactly what was in it.

Careful, though. They’re deceptive. You’ll end up sprawled on your ass if you don’t watch it. And with that, she finished off her drink and signaled for another.

I raised my eyebrows. She’d only arrived about twenty minutes before I did, but who knew how many she’d already knocked back. Good thing she’d been dropped off and was getting a ride home with me. And as far as I was concerned, I had no worries of faceplanting before the night ended. I was too exhausted to get drunk. In fact, I wasn’t even in the mood to be out at all, but Christa and I had never missed a Saint Patrick’s Day together since we’d met seven years before, and I wasn’t about to break tradition just because I was a little tired.

She held up her newly freshened drink. To another year, she said, and I clinked my glass with hers. Cheers.

Cheers. I took a quick glance towards the door, wondering if he’d make it. Although if he did, I’d end up sitting on his lap. The place was packed. I had no idea how Christa even managed to weasel in, much less save me a spot.

When’s Dre supposed to show up? she asked.

I shrugged. He’s not sure if he can get out yet. He said he’ll try, though.

She nodded. Dre was co-owner of Braun’s Gym, and like any business owner, he was often stuck working more hours than the employees, not fewer.

Christa smacked my leg. Well, as long as you’re here. And who needs him, right? Or any of them. She winked. Men are only worth one thing anyway, and it’s not like he’d be able to do you right here against the bar. Better to wait until later. Or just choose someone else tonight.

I laughed, shaking my head. Christa was the fling queen. At the age of twenty-two, she displayed her ‘boyfriends suck and always will’ badge with pride. She still had plenty of time to change her mind, but I didn’t see that happening any time soon.

Not that I technically had boyfriends either, but I did have Dre and we were considered… complicated.

I reached for my purse. Normally, I wouldn’t have cared too much about him showing; I loved hanging out with my best friend alone. But after the bomb he’d thrown at me earlier that day, it made me wonder just how serious he was.

I pulled out the emblem and Christa narrowed her eyes. What the hell is that?

Dre gave this to me. I handed it to her, and she flipped it back and forth. He wants us to be exclusive from now on.

She frowned. You’re losing me here, Perry. On so many counts. She tossed the Ford logo into my lap. He gave you a piece of plastic? How romantic. And what exactly do you mean by ‘exclusive’? She gave me a funny look, then finished off her drink.

He stopped by this morning and said he wanted us to stop sleeping with other people. Wants to see what it’d be like to have it just the two of us for a change.

Yeah, like I said: complicated. Our relationship was an unconventional one. We’d been together for five years, and while we were monogamous during our ‘on periods,’ we had plenty of ‘off periods’ too. Then we were free to see—and screw—whomever we wanted. The only exception was each other’s friends. Those were off-limits.

And the emblem is a part of him. It’s a symbol that means something to him. You know how much he loves that truck, Christa.

She rolled her eyes. Of course I know how obsessed he is with the stupid thing. I know him just as well as you do.

Well, maybe not as well, but she did meet him in high school just like I did. I thought it was a sweet gesture, I said, since it’s not like he’d ever give me a ring. Christa was also well aware that I had an aversion to jewelry. And marriage.

And you’re actually considering this? She put both her hands on my shoulders and stared me down. He just decides to pull all this shit out of his ass all of a sudden and you’re okay with it?

You’re not going to lose me, Christa. Her face was morphing into something that resembled panic. She probably assumed that once I started a one-on-one relationship, I’d no longer have any time for her. You and I are still going to spend lots of time together. It’ll be the same as always, I just won’t be having sex with anyone but Dre.

It sounds like you’ve already decided.

Her tone was a bit standoffish, and while I could understand her reaction to a point, I didn’t get why she seemed to be taking it as a personal slap in the face. I wasn’t suggesting that she change her lifestyle along with me.

I wouldn’t say it’s a done deal, but stop looking at me like I’m batshit, okay? And you know what they say, I said, flashing her Dre’s gift once more before stuffing it back in my bag. Whoever gives you a token on Saint Patrick’s Day is the one you’re meant to be with.

Uh, no one says that, Perry.

Well, it’s a fact. Something to do with love and luck.

Christa plucked a shamrock off the bar and handed it to me. Consider this my token. Then she leaned over and gave me a loud, exaggerated smack on the cheek. I laughed, pushing her away. Yeah, she was definitely just worried that our friendship would change; that’s what her whole reaction had been about.

"The guy I’m meant to be with, silly."

And you’re sure he’s the guy to change for? For all you know, he could just be feeding you a line of bullshit so you’ll stop screwing other men. Meanwhile, he’ll continue getting his dick wet in anything with a pulse.

I scrunched up my face. Worried or not, she was sure acting crazier than normal. Maybe it was all the leprechaun piss.

I adopted a go-with-the-flow attitude and picked up my drink. I brought it to my mouth and nearly chipped a tooth when I was flung forward. Goddammit. I quickly set it back down, then tried dabbing at my wet shirt with a flimsy bar napkin. It didn’t take long before it turned into a clump of mushy shreds. Christa started giggling as she crawled over the counter to grab another stack, flashing her ass to everyone when her micromini hiked up.

Sorry about that, a soft, slurry voice said behind me. I turned to face a woman with spray-painted green spiky hair. I was pushed too, she said.

Don’t worry about it. I sighed. I doubted the stain would ever come out, but it was hardly her fault. That’d teach me for not wearing green on this night, but it wasn’t my color, dammit.

Christa climbed back down and placed the napkins in my hand. I felt someone squeezing in to the left of me, and then a glass of clear liquid came into view.

Try this.

I glanced over to put a face to the masculine voice and found myself staring into some blue-ass eyes.

Sure, I said. I’ll get right on that. Because you know, I always accept drinks in bars from strange men. No matter how fucking hot they are.

He smiled. Of course, there wasn’t a snaggletooth in the bunch. It’s for the stain before it sets. Club soda.

Oh, okay. I dabbed a napkin into the glass and then onto my shirt. Thank you.

You’re welcome.

I turned back to see Christa eye-fucking him. She didn’t usually go for the Norse god types, but whatever.

He’s not good enough for you.

I whipped my head back to Thor. Excuse me?

The guy you’re with. He’s not good enough for you.

Just how long were you standing here, anyway? And just who the fuck are you?

I didn’t care if he was single-handedly responsible for getting the stain out of my favorite pale pink shirt, that didn’t give him the right to act like he knew my business.

I’m—

You know what? It doesn’t matter. Thank you for the soda, but our conversation is over.

He chuckled, which for some reason made me more pissed off. I swiveled my back to him and looked at Christa. Her eyes were wide.

Wow, bitchy much? she said.

He deserved it.

Well, I guess that’s one way to take yourself off the market. Continue acting like that and you’ll scare them all away. She rubbed her lips. But damn… weren’t you looking at the same thing I was? I think I just had the best sex of my life.

I shook my head slightly and narrowed my eyes, indicating that I didn’t want to discuss this at the moment.

She waved her hand. Don’t worry, he already left. I can still see him, though, and I’m just about ready for round two.

My lips curved up, and I relaxed a bit. Yeah, maybe I was a tad on the bitchy side. The dampness clinging to my skin was making me irritable, topped off by a lack of sleep. I’d gotten home at seven that morning and only slept for a couple hours before Dre stopped over for his relationship talk. My night out had an expiration date, and it was coming due any minute.

As if reading my mind, Christa asked, So, you’re done with the graveyard shift now, right?

Yes, thank God. I wasn’t meant to be part of the undead, and even though it was only for two weeks, it really messed up my body clock. Training is over and I get to start regular hours on Monday.

Good. Now we can be on the same schedule again and… uh, that guy? She flicked her head. He’s watching you.

Maybe he’s watching you.

As much as I’d like that to be true, I’m pretty sure it’s you.

I turned around to find him staring. He smiled with his perfect lips, showing perfect teeth. There was a girl draped over him, and he wasn’t even trying to hide his attention towards me. Jerk. I flipped him off, which made him throw back his head and laugh. Asshole.

You’re on a role tonight, Christa said, pushing over my half-filled glass. And you haven’t even finished one drink yet. You’re making me look like a lush.

Did you see that? I asked. He’s here with someone and yet he’s openly gawking at another woman.

She shrugged. What do you care? You’re with Dre now, right?

I really didn’t want to get back into that discussion with her, not when my head was starting to muck up. I just wanted to return to the apartment and crash hard. Hey, do you mind if we make it an early night? I’ll make it up to you another time. You know I’m good for it.

Club JoJo’s?

I smiled. I’m in.

She gave me a wide grin and clapped. Now that I was done working nights, we could hit the clubs again. If she thought anything would change between us just because Dre and I were going to try out official coupledom, I was determined to prove her wrong.

I sucked down the rest of my murky green stuff, which wasn’t as appealing now that it was warm, and slung my purse over my shoulder. All I could think about was how soft my pillow would feel underneath my head.

Christa whacked my knee and I glanced at her. Her eyes were darting between me and something off to the side. Dammit.

Thor was standing next to me, his curvy sidekick nowhere in sight. He was so freaking attractive, and I wanted nothing to do with it. Christa could drool over him all she liked; I was keeping my tongue planted firmly inside my mouth.

Before I knew what was happening, he slipped something over my neck. What? Dozens of shamrocks lay against my chest. Like I didn’t have enough of them littering my hair; they seemed to be dropping from the ceiling. I gripped the necklace to pull it off, but he rested his hand over mine. If he thought this was Mardi Gras and I’d be exchanging beads for a kiss, he’d be disappointed when he got my fist instead of my lips.

For luck, he said, removing his hand and putting it back where it belonged.

Listen, Thor. I—

Thor? He looked amused. Shit. Would you like to know my real name?

No, and you don’t need to know mine either.

It’s—

I shot Christa a sharp dagger that killed her words. I didn’t know what she was hoping to accomplish by telling him who I was, but I wasn’t appreciating it very much.

Enjoy the rest of your evening, ladies. And with that, I watched him head out the door, wondering what the fuck had just happened.

What the hell, Christa? What was that about?

Oh my God, Perry. Are you blind?

What’s that supposed to mean?

"There’s no way you can tell me that you’re not interested in that."

So he’s good-looking. He wouldn’t be the first guy who is. Fuck, she was making this difficult for me. Did you completely ignore everything I told you tonight?

I just don’t want you to do anything rash.

I don’t want to either, and that’s exactly why I’m considering this.

It’s just that… I’ve known you long enough, and you’re happier when you and Dre are off instead of on.

Please don’t start, Christa.

Why are you still wearing the necklace?

I sighed, then pulled it off, dumping it on the bar top. What necklace? I grabbed her hand. Come on, let’s get out of here.

Do you want me to stick around, in case Dre shows up?

No, that’s all right. If he hasn’t by now, I’m sure he won’t.

Christa nodded, collecting her purse. I had no idea if he’d even tried calling or texting since my forgotten phone was charging on my bedside dresser.

Okay, ready, she said.

The woman who was hanging off Thor earlier breezed past us and went outside. I wonder if he’s out there waiting for her.

Christa’s eyebrows knitted together. Um, once again, why do you care?

I don’t. I just said I was wondering.

She shook her head like she didn’t believe me for shit, but that was fine. I really didn’t care, and I’d rather not run into him again.

I didn’t need any blond-haired, blue-eyed men giving me any more unwarranted advice or dressing me with another Irish trinket for luck.

Between all the shamrocks and four-leaf clovers floating around, I was inundated with all the damn luck I could stand until next year. If I opened my mouth wide enough, I would choke on them.

We were almost out the door—of the pub aptly called Lucky’s—when I darted back at the last second and snatched the necklace off the counter. I’d decided I was wrong.

What the hell. A girl can never have too much luck.

Bang, bang, bang.

Perry! Wake up!

Bang. Perry! Bang.

Perry, let me in! BANG!

Something hard smacked against my ass, and my eyes bolted wide. What the…? I rubbed my face and realized the ‘something hard’ was me crashing out of bed.

Perry!

I looked up at my bedroom window to see Stu pressed against the glass. What time is it? I dragged myself to the front door and unlocked the bolt, not waiting for him to come around before I stumbled back into bed.

It felt like only a split second later when I was bouncing on top of it. I cracked open an eyelid. Stu, knock it off. He was jumping around, making my body tumble closer to the edge. I was going to fall out again, and this time I might land on my head. Dammit, Stu.

He made a dramatic dive and slid in next to me. I tried to ignore him, but his hands all over my ribcage made that impossible.

Perrrrrrrry, he sang into my ear. Waaaaaaake uuuup.

He started tickling me, and the more I attempted to push him away, the harder he doubled his efforts. It wasn’t long before I was out of breath and a moment away from peeing all over both of us.

God, Stu. Stop! I laughed. I have to pee.

He stopped the tickling but began planting little kisses all over my face. Me so horny, Perry, he practically whined. So, so horny.

That made me laugh even harder, and I knew if I didn’t get out of bed that instant, I’d be wasting my money on a new mattress. I shimmied out from him and padded to the bathroom, deciding to brush my teeth while I was at it.

When I came back, he was propped up on my headboard. What are you doing here so early anyway? I asked, climbing back into bed with him.

It’s not early, you slacker. It’s almost ten.

You woke me up. You know I had that third-shift training for the past couple weeks. I’m not back to normal yet.

Sweetie, if you’re waiting to get back to normal, you’re going to be waiting a hell of a long time. He kissed the top of my head and I cuddled into him. And I wouldn’t have had to wake you up if you’d just given me a key to your new place.

We haven’t been here that long yet. I’ll get you one.

"I bet Dre has one."

I rolled my eyes. There was no love lost between those two. Actually, no, he doesn’t. But he will, and so will you. So quit your bitching.

Yes, ma’am.

You never told me what you’re doing here.

Do I ever need an excuse to see my favorite girl?

Oh right. I giggled. You so horny. I rolled away and lay flat on my back. Take me now, lover. Don’t make me wait one more second. I couldn’t take it. I swiped the back of my hand over my forehead.

He laughed, slapping my thigh. Get up, wench. Think I want some nasty girl pussy? Gross.

Hey!

He pulled me back up, slinging his arm around me. You know damn well that if I did, it’d be yours.

I know, baby. I pinched his cheek. So, what’s going on with you and Kenny?

Nothing. He sighed. "And I mean nothing. It’s been three months. The least he could do is throw me a bone every once in a while. It doesn’t even have to be a hard one."

I laughed. Give him some time. You owe him that.

I know.

Stu and Kenny were trying again after splitting up nearly a year ago. Before that, they’d been together since they were kids. Then Stu fucked up. Wasn’t sure what he wanted and decided to test the waters with the sexy waiter down at Luigi’s. Sometimes you don’t know what you really want until you lose it. That was exactly what happened with Stu, and he’s been paying the price since. Luckily, Kenny had a forgiving heart and was willing to give him a second chance.

He’ll come around. He just needs to make sure he can trust you again before giving you everything.

He nodded. I don’t mean to complain. I’ll give him all the time he needs. The fact that he’s even willing to talk to me again after….

I know. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He was starting to get all choked up. I know you love him, and he loves you. You made a shitty mistake, but that’s not who you are. You guys are meant to be and you’ll get through this. Stronger than ever.

Thank you, he whispered. Love you, baby doll.

Love you too, sweetie.

I was just about to ask him to sing for me—that always cheered him up, and I couldn’t get enough of his amazing voice—when I heard the door open and close.

Christa? I called out.

Not Christa, babe.

Dre stopped short when he came to my doorway. He had a pissy expression, but I didn’t know if that was there before or if it had just happened because of Stu.

What’s going on here? Dre asked with a stone face.

I rolled my eyes. Like there was a problem catching me with Stu. We’re just hanging out.

Stu swung his legs over the side of the bed. I need to get going anyway. I’m meeting the guys for practice.

You sure? Already?

Yeah. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. We’ll talk soon.

Okay. Have fun.

Will do. Stu flashed me his award-winning smile. Man, the guy was gorgeous. Damn. Later, Dre.

Later.

They barely gave each other a glance when Stu left the room. Dre came over and flopped down beside me on the bed. He appeared a little more relaxed now that it was just the two of us.

He still banging around in that garage band? Isn’t he getting a little too old for that shit?

It makes him happy, Dre. And he’s crazy talented. He’s going to hit it big someday. Mark my words.

Whatever you say, baby. He reached over and gave me a kiss.

I knew he wasn’t patronizing me, but it sure as hell felt like it. I got that they weren’t each other’s fans, and most of the time I let things go, but…. I shook my head. I was just annoyed for some reason. My lighthearted mood was gone.

His lips started trailing up and down my neck, but I wasn’t feeling it. He pulled back. What’s the matter with you?

I don’t know. Still out of it, I guess. That was at least partly the truth.

Are you mad because I didn’t show last night? I’m really sorry about that. There was this discrepancy in a membership invoice that needed to be resolved before—

No, I understand those things happen. I’m not mad. I just remembered that I’d checked my phone when I got home, and there hadn’t been a message from him. Although, it would’ve been nice if you’d called. Or at least sent a quick text.

I know, baby. Sorry about that too. By the time I realized how late it was, I didn’t want to bother you. I thought you’d probably make it an early night because you were so wiped out when I saw you that morning.

Yeah, I did make it any early night.

The shamrock necklace flashed in my mind. It was still sitting in my purse. Thinking about it now, I wasn’t even sure why I went back for the stupid thing. It needed to go in the trash as soon as I thought of it again.

Speaking of…. He grabbed my hips and straddled me over his lap. His hands went straight for my breasts with no preamble. If I wasn’t in the fucking mood before, I sure as hell wasn’t now. Did you think any more about what we talked about?

Yes. He was smacking my tits around like they were nothing more than lumps of Play-Doh and he was a three-year-old. Stop that. I batted his hands away. That hurts.

He started rubbing up my thighs instead. You sensitive or something? On your period? His hands instantly stilled.

God, Dre. No, I’m not on my period. He was the most squeamish man I’d ever met when it came to menstrual blood. It bordered on revulsion. One of these days, he was going to start refusing to even be in the same room as me during that time for fear of catching something. It’s not like I got the fucking plague every month.

Good. He resumed his kneading, and I let out a peeved sigh. Okay, what is the matter with me? So, it’s just us from now on? he asked.

It did make sense. It made all the sense in the world. What didn’t make sense was the ‘relationship’ we’d had for the past five years. The complete lack of jealousy when we saw other people. But it worked for us. He was my stability, and I needed that. I bounced from thing to thing, job to job, guy to guy, never knowing what to do with myself. I wanted to grow up already, have something real. Stop being so damn impulsive. Dre was a constant in my life, even when we were screwing other people.

You should move in with me, he said when I hadn’t responded to his question.

What? Christa and I just moved in here.

So? The place is only in her name, right?

Well, yeah, but now that I have that new job….

Christa was the responsible one, the one who had her shit together. Went to college, had the respectable career in a dermatology clinic, made good, consistent money. She may not stick with a man longer than a night or two, but that’s where her fickleness ended. She needed that indulgence because the rest of her life was so structured.

It wouldn’t be a hardship to her if you left, if that’s what you’re worried about.

No, that’s not what I’m worried about. I removed his hands from the insides of my thighs before he stuck his fingers somewhere I didn’t want. I like living with Christa. She’s my best friend. I want to stay here. At least for now. I could always revisit my decision later.

He tugged me down to his chest so he could suck on my shoulder. I can be your best friend, Perry.

I don’t want you to be my best friend. You’re my…. What exactly was he? Boyfriend? That didn’t sound right. Lover? That sounded even more hilarious.

One and only, Dre finished. His tongue dragged over my collarbone, and I just felt… wet. And not in a good way.

What Christa had said the night before popped into my head. Why do you want this, Dre? Why now all of a sudden, after all these years?

He palmed my face and looked at me. Because it took me that long to realize I don’t want to share you anymore. I also don’t want to lose you. I want us to be a real couple.

And that extends to you too? I also wouldn’t be sharing you anymore?

Of course. I told you that yesterday. You don’t believe me?

No, it’s just that you kind of sprung all this on me. It’s not the type of thing we’ve done before.

So, what’s wrong with that? New is good. Let’s try something new together.

Dammit. I couldn’t disagree with his logic. Again, it made too much frickin’ sense. We’d already been together for years. We knew each other well and had a decent time together. We rarely fought and he tolerated my bitchy times. I loved him in a way I couldn’t define, but it could still be considered a form of love. He was familiar.

Okay, I said.

Okay? I nodded and he covered my lips with his. You won’t regret this, Perry, he muttered between kisses. We’ll be great together. You’ll see.

I tried returning his kiss because that’s what happy exclusive couples did, right? They showed their affection often and only shared it with each other. We wouldn’t be going outside the relationship to get it from anyone else again.

The pinch on my nipple took me completely by surprise. I didn’t even know he was in that vicinity until bam! I flinched and broke our lip seal. All right, enough. I can’t do this right now. I’d never describe our sex life as toe-curling, but it was acceptable. I even came from time to time, although that was usually through the help of my own hand. I’d certainly had worse—much worse—and hadn’t found anything better. That had to mean something.

Despite all that, I couldn’t bring myself to go any further with him at the moment. Not only was I not turned on, but my vagina was starting to retreat into my abdomen.

What’d I do wrong?

Nothing, Dre. It’s me. Like I said, I’m just off right now.

Hey, what about meeting up at Lucky’s later? Since I couldn’t make it last night.

I swore Dre’s brown eyes flashed blue for a second, and I scrubbed my hands over my face. Good. They were back as they should be. But I had to make sure I never