Shredding Dreams: Velocity Book 2

PREFACE

This book took much longer to finish than I had expected. It wasn’t because Ian stopped talking. It was because other projects had taken up all of my time. Ian is my most patient character. He understood that I had to have priorities. I’m just glad he didn’t shut up once he began to tell me his story.

Ian and Sherry’s tale is an emotional one. You may want to have a box of tissues handy. They are married but have been separated for a few years. This means their story is not the traditional boy meets girl and they fall in love romance. It will be so much more.

The timeline of this book overlaps that of Rockin’ Rhythm, so if you’ve read that one, you may recognize some things. This series is written around a short tour, so only pieces of that tour will be in this book. Each book can be read as a standalone, but you will get more out of it by reading the entire series.

In book two, you’ll meet Ian Tate. He is a middle aged, heavily tatted, world famous guitarist with long, silver streaked hair who wants nothing more than to get his wife back. He has lived apart from his wife for two years and worries that it will become permanent. Sherry Tate just wants her life to be stable. Can they find their way back to each other?

DEDICATION

Just like with book 1, I wrote part of this when 98Rockfest came around. This year the bill was a bit disappointing, but we had a good time anyway. I look forward to the many other bands who will stop in Central Florida this year.

The musical inspiration for this book was quite limited. The reason may become apparent as you read. Since Ian is a mature character, some of the older bands stuck in my head. Avenged Sevenfold’s Waking the Fallen album inspired quite a bit this time around. Papa Roach, Van Halen, Metallica, Tal Bachman, Bryan Adams, Journey and many more also gave me what I need.

Thanks to all of those who have come into my life because of my books, if only for a short while: Patricia, Traci, Kathy, Anita, Jacqui, Donna, Paula, Sonia, LaDonna, Tricia, Geri, Christa, Margo, Melissa, Stephanie, Sarah, Naiana, Lisa, Courtney, Jena, the Donna and Stephanie duo, Coralee, Paula and Michelle. I know I can count on you all to support me one way or another, and I will always be grateful.

MEET THE BAND

Ash Taylor - Bass

Ian Tate - Lead Guitar

Bryce Cooper - Vocals/Rhythm Guitar

Leo Danger – Drums

CHAPTER ONE

Dad? 15-year-old Peter Tate held his phone with a shaky hand that Tuesday afternoon in March. Dad, something’s wrong with Mom.

Ian Tate jumped off the couch in the practice room at Velocity’s Apollo Beach, Florida house. What do you mean something? Is she hurt? He faintly heard his bandmates voice their concerns, but his mind was focused on his family.

Um… Peter looked toward his 17-year-old brother William, who held his mother in his arms. She was hysterical, unable to tell them anything. We’re at the doctor. She won’t tell us what’s wrong. The nurse called because she couldn’t drive herself home. He swallowed hard. Dad, is Mom sick?

It was something he and his wife, Sherry, didn’t want the boys to know. If she was that upset, then the news was bad. They had hoped the biopsy would be negative.

Pete, we’ll talk about this when you get home. I’ll meet you there. She had told him the appointment was the next day. Why’d she lie to me? I gotta go. It took him seconds to run from the house and get onto his black Harley Road King.

He and Sherry had been separated for two years. It was supposed to be temporary, but she didn’t seem eager to take him back. His mind raced as he rushed to her home in Brandon. It wasn’t far from his place in Riverview, but at that moment, it felt like a million miles. I can’t lose her, too. Please!

He didn’t know what he would do if they said the cancer was inoperable. Although they lived apart, they were still close and were often lovers as well. He didn’t understand why she wouldn’t give him another chance.

His habit of shutting everyone out sometimes upset her. She also didn’t like that he would ride his motorcycle to work things out, rather than talk to her. He regretted every damn thing he’d done to upset her.

It’s OK, boys, Ian said when he approached the two cars that had pulled into the family’s driveway. We’ll explain. He opened the back and lifted his wife into his arms. We’ll get through this. I promise you. After a brief kiss on her forehead, he followed his sons into the house. Billy, please get your mom a pillow. He set her on the couch and held her close. No matter what, I swear I’m here for you.

She whispered, I’m sorry I lied to you. She didn’t want him at the appointment with her because she thought he would get angry at the doctor. He had a hot temper sometimes.

Ssh. He kissed her forehead. It doesn’t matter, baby. I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.

As soon as Billy handed him the pillow, Ian carefully put it under her head. Then he took the blanket from Pete and cradled her body. His heart pounded in his ears. She hadn’t told him that their worst fears had come true, but he felt it in his gut.

Tears still fell down Sherry’s cheeks quickly. She couldn’t process the words that she had heard not an hour ago. Her mind spun. She had no idea how they would get through the ordeal.

Her eyes went to her children. William, who they called Billy, had been named after Ian’s father. Peter, who went by Pete, had been named after a family friend who had passed many years ago. She hadn’t realized how mature they were until that day. They had done exactly what she’d needed them to.

Lips pressed to her forehead again. Guilt filled her once more. Ian had been there for her in the last few weeks. She had noticed a huge change in him. The man she had married had finally shown himself again.

Their separation had obviously devastated him. She hadn’t intended it to. What she needed was a break from his brooding. He had a very difficult time dealing with emotions. It drove her crazy. When things got to be too much, he jumped on his Harley and took off. Sometimes she hated that bike. Years prior, she’d loved to ride with him. Things had obviously changed.

Her mind drifted from the past to present aimlessly. The emotional overload exhausted her. Her body had weakened with every day she had not gotten checked. She regretted hiding the problem. Her body started to give into sleep when she heard soft voices.

Ian smiled at the peaceful look on his wife’s face. One minute, he whispered to his sons. When her breathing changed, he got to his feet and urged his younger children into the kitchen. I know as much as you guys. She didn’t tell me anything helpful. He wasn’t sure what he would say to them when he found out the test results.

Do you know what her appointment was for? Billy asked as he glanced at his sleeping mother.

Without making eye contact, Ian replied, I didn’t know she was going. You know we don’t talk like we used to.

Everything’ll be OK, Dad. Pete patted his father’s back. Maybe she’s just on her period. His face scrounged up. It was hard to remember his mother was a woman as well.

Ian chuckled at that. Maybe. He glanced back at his wife. Why don’t you guys get to your homework in your rooms so Mom can sleep?

When alone, he sat in the recliner and tilted his head so he could watch his wife. Their sporadic physical relationship wasn’t enough for him. However, he would rather have something with her than nothing.

The separation hadn’t been his idea. It had been hers. She had said he couldn’t communicate his feelings, which was true. That had always been the case. She had gotten tired of it. He didn’t know how to change that part of him. At that moment, he would do anything to be what she wanted.

Up until two months ago, she had been fine with sex when the time felt right. The last time he had initiated it, she’d pushed him away. After that, she wouldn’t let him touch her at all. Only in the past few weeks did she accept his help. He hadn’t understood her cold stance on intimacy.

Nine days prior they had gone to her primary care doctor. He had tricked her into going, but she didn’t seem angry about it. She did force him to stay in the waiting room while she was examined. When she was told to see her gynecologist, he wouldn’t let her keep him away. He was beyond concerned at that point. Thoughts of that appointment made him shudder.

*** ♫♪♫♪ ***

Ian walked into the exam room behind Sherry and sat in a chair. He wasn’t sure what to expect. When he looked up, she had started to undress. He rushed to help her, since she had been weak at times.

Hold onto the table. He reached around her and went to open her jeans. Then he realized they were elastic. That’s weird. He tugged them down and was surprised it wasn’t so easy. Sorry, just relax.

When he had her naked, she turned to get into the gown. Immediately his eyes centered on her lower abdomen. It was quite swollen. Oh my God! Did her tubes come untied? He wasn’t sure if a baby would make things better or worse between them.

Are you pregnant? His voice was high with fear.

She shook her head. The test was negative.

Maybe it was wrong. He reached down and caressed her belly.

Sherry cringed and pulled away. Don’t.

Why can’t I touch you? You’re my wife. I love you. Please talk to me about this.

Her eyes met his and she scowled. The way you talk to me about things? When Bryce overdosed, you shut down! It hurt me, too. I needed you and all you did was ride that God damned bike!

I’m sorry. He was glad to finally know where things had gone wrong. You know it’s hard for me to express myself. He turned to a knock on the door. One minute, please. He turned back to his wife. I’ll try harder. He held the gown up and helped her into it.

After the exam of her abdomen, a sonogram was taken. Ian’s heart plunged. He saw the non-baby in her uterus. His pulse raced. This can’t be happening again. Sherry squeezed his hand. He glanced down at her as he held back tears.

We’ll need to take a biopsy. It doesn’t look like a fibroid tumor. This can still be benign, though.

Ian nodded to the doctor. He couldn’t hold back his fear. Sherry wasn’t the biological mother of his oldest son, Jacob. His first wife had died of pancreatic cancer when Jacob was a baby. The only saving grace was that she had not suffered as much as some.

*** ♫♪♫♪ ***

Reality was even worse than his flashback. Ian glanced at his wife still asleep on the couch. Please don’t take her from me, too. Her reaction to the doctor’s appointment had made him assume she had cancer. It was the likely result, though.

He had asked her why she’d let it go for so long after the gynecologist’s appointment. She said she had ignored it out of fear. It hadn’t been easy to hide the pain, but she hadn’t wanted to scare the children. He wished he had pushed her to see a doctor sooner.

The day they had met 26 years ago came to him. Sherry had grown up with his first wife, Tessa, in Colorado. Sherry’s job had moved to California. He had only seen pictures of her previously. However, Tessa had told him countless stories. When Sherry had arrived, he felt like he had known her forever.

Sherry had stayed with them while she looked for her own home. When she hadn’t found anything affordable within a month, Ian had asked Sherry to stay with them while he went on tour with his first big band, Radical Nights. At only 21, he had been the youngest member of that band.

Days after the tour had ended, Tessa was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. They had caught it early, since it was found by accident. Her pre-op tests had revealed she was pregnant. Treatment was suddenly halted. Tessa wouldn’t risk their child.

Sherry had helped Ian and Tessa through the pregnancy. Then she had comforted Ian upon Tessa’s death months after she had given birth. She had become Jacob’s primary caregiver. They’d never meant to fall in love, but it had happened.

Ian’s father, William Tate, was their lone supporter in the beginning. William was the lead guitarist for the biggest rock band of the 1960’s and 70’s, Angel’s Wings. The famous guitarist knew all too well how hard it was to raise a child alone. He had never wished that on his son.

No one spoke of Ian’s mother. She had been a groupie who hadn’t been able to deal with responsibility. She had given birth and signed all her rights over to William Tate.

A groan forced Ian to let the past go. He rushed to Sherry and laid a hand over hers. I’m right here, baby. What hurts?

I’m fine, she muttered.

He scowled. Bullshit. What is it?

My… my belly. She laid a hand over her swollen abdomen, which they had been able to hide from the children so far. They said pain is normal. Tears flowed down her cheeks. Ian… it’s cancer. She held back a sob, sure he would fall apart if she did. We didn’t talk about treatment. I couldn’t handle it.

He quickly took her into his arms. We’ll face this together. He couldn’t hold back his emotions. Please don’t take her away from me. I can’t go through that again.

She knew he was terrified, just like she was. Regret filled her. I should’ve gotten checked when I knew something was wrong. She ran her fingers through his long silver streaked hair.

Neither of them looked 47, but she felt even older that day. She had hated his long hair and full beard at first. It wasn’t until they had to work together to take care of Tessa that she had seen why Tessa had fallen in love with him. He might have been quite brash, but he cared when it counted.

Her mind went to their three boys. She always thought of Jacob as her son as well. After all, she had raised him from birth. Billy was planned. They had waited until Ian had retired from touring with his previous band, Stricken. Pete was a happy accident. That was the reason they were less than two years apart.

They had moved from California to Florida when their home was damaged by a strong earthquake seven years ago. Billy had been ten and Pete was eight.

Sherry had wanted to go somewhere warm but more stable. She had figured that at least hurricanes were predictable. The humidity had shocked her. It had taken a while to get used it.

The only regret was that Jacob had stayed behind. He had been 18, in love, and his girlfriend wouldn’t move.

She was startled from her thoughts when Ian moved. I’m all right. Maybe I can go back to sleep.

OK. He laid her down again and walked back to the recliner. If you need me, I’m right here. Exhausted, his eyes closed within seconds.

CHAPTER TWO

Dad? Pete came downstairs and found his father asleep on the recliner. Dad? Should I start dinner? He hadn’t told his father that their mother didn’t have the energy to cook some nights, and that he did a lot of the cooking instead. When there was no response, he shook his father’s arm. Dad? I can make meatloaf or something. He loved to cook.

Ian’s eyes blinked a few times. You know how to make meatloaf?

Yeah, I’m in a cooking class at school. Pete grinned. Mom loves my spaghetti sauce. I think we have some in the freezer still.

Proud, Ian smiled. My son the chef. He stretched and got to his feet. Let’s wait for your mother. Maybe she already has something planned.

Um, Dad. Pete swallowed hard. I need to tell you something.

Ian saw the worry in his son’s eyes. Whatever it is, I won’t judge. You can tell me anything.

It’s not about me… or Billy. Pete took a few breaths and relaxed. It’s about Mom. She pretends she’s fine, but she’s tired a lot. She cries a lot, too.

Afraid his son might discover the truth, Ian replied, I’m worried about depression. She had some trouble with that when she was younger. Does she seem better when I’m here?

Yep. Pete glanced at his mother. I think she misses you. Why don’t you just move back in? She needs you.

Ian groaned. I want to… believe me, I do.

He watched his son walk to the kitchen. His boys both had long dark hair. Pete’s hair was almost to the shoulders, while Billy’s hair was as long as Ian’s. Ian hadn’t expected all three of his boys to enjoy the music he did or embrace his style. Even his oldest had shaggy hair instead of short like his friends.

When Pete came back into the room, Ian grinned. Do all the kids have earrings in both ears? Both of his younger sons had multiple piercings in both lobes. He toyed with the two rings in his left ear.

Not everyone. Pete sat on the love seat. Maybe half the guys who have pierced ears. Why?

Ian shrugged. When I was a kid, only gay men wore two earrings. Not saying there’s something wrong with it. That just popped into my head.

Dad, can I get a tattoo? Pete had been curious about them for a long time and thought it was a good time to ask.

His eyes on his wife, Ian replied, The law says you have to be 18.

If you come with me, I can get one. Pete knew that Billy was interested in getting one as well.

Ian took a deep breath. His body was covered in tattoos. He had started at 14 because his father had a tattoo artist on his crew. I’ll have to talk to your mother about it first. If she says it’s OK, we can get one for your 16th birthday.

Pete jumped when his mother stirred. You OK, Mom?

Sherry was shocked by Pete’s voice, but she smiled when Ian moved back and stood next to the couch. I’m OK. She reached out to her youngest.

You sure? Pete knelt next to his mother and grasped her hand. Are you sick?

She shook her head. Just don’t feel well, female problems. It wasn’t a total lie at least. I’ll be fine.

Ian met her gaze and knew she didn’t want the kids to know the truth. He hoped it wasn’t for long. She was a very private person, and she tended to protect the boys from things they couldn’t control.

How about we go make dinner? Ian wasn’t great in the kitchen, but he knew how to read directions.

Billy’s face scrunched up as he walked into the living room. Don’t go there, Dad. Can we just order pizza or let Pete cook?

Can your stomach handle pizza, Sherry? Ian hoped the kids bought that worry. Her shrug made him cock an eyebrow. Are you even hungry?

She took a deep breath. Not really. Her fear had stolen her appetite. Whatever the boys want. I’m fine.

I can make pizza, Pete offered. Just need to defrost the sauce and take out the pizza dough I got from Publix the other day.

It was a side of his youngest child Ian never knew existed until that day. He was eager to watch his son in action. Sounds amazing.

Ian followed his son into the kitchen. Pete’s familiarity with the kitchen showed him just how much he had missed while not living with his children. Although he was happy that his kids had flourished despite his absence, it made his chest constrict. Do they even need me anymore? A smile from his youngest squashed that thought.

After he washed his hands, Pete took out all the ingredients he needed. Then he set the two balls of dough on the counter. It has to sit for a while.

OK, then what can I do? Ian watched his son put a freezer bag of tomato sauce into a bowl of water.

If you want, you can shred cheese. He handed over a block of mozzarella still in the package. Make sure you wash your hands first.

Ian shook his head. Pete was more like his mother than any of them had realized. He washed up and stood before the grater that Pete had set out for him. It was the first time he had attempted it, so he stared at it for a few seconds. He had seen Sherry and Jacob shred cheese enough times that he understood the dynamics of it.

You OK, Dad?

Uh, yeah. Ian opened the cheese and debated what to do next.

Pete glanced over as he cut pepperoni. It’s easier if you cut it in quarters.

OK.

Ian did just that. The first swipe, he caught his finger and winced. After he made sure he wasn’t bleeding, he adjusted the block of cheese. That was easier, but the end was falling apart.

Have you ever done this before? Pete frowned at his father’s uneven grating style. He was a bit of a perfectionist.

Not really. Ian shrugged. You know I’m not a cook.

Billy peeked over his father’s shoulder when he came into the kitchen. How’s it going in here? He almost laughed at the condition of the block of cheese in his father’s hand. You should turn it. That side just makes a mess.

Maybe you should do it. Ian usually messed up anything he touched in the kitchen.

Sure. Billy took over. This is how Mom showed me to do it.

Ian stepped back and smiled as his sons prepared dinner. It seemed like something they had done quite often. Do we have mushrooms?

Yeah, in the bottom drawer, Pete replied. We can put them on your side. His face screwed up. No idea how you can eat them.

Billy chuckled. You don’t know what you’re missing.

They feel weird in my mouth. Pete had a thing about food texture. Hey, Dad. I forgot the flour. Can you grab it?

Sherry listened to them with a smile. It had been quite a while since they had done anything as a family. She missed it terribly. Her biggest fear was that she wouldn’t survive, and that they would feel abandoned. Please don’t let that happen. She rarely prayed, but lately, she couldn’t help it.

*** ♫♪♫♪ ***

When the pizza was in the oven, Billy sat on the loveseat closest to his mother. Are we old enough to hear about your first band now?

Um… Ian had always been afraid that his sons would follow in his path if they knew how easy things had been for him. He was an exception to the rule. His eyes went to Sherry as he came into the room. What do you think?

She sighed. I’m sure they know some of it from Wikipedia.

But we want to hear it from you. Billy was hopeful. They probably didn’t get it all right. He knew that someone most likely removed anything that was fiction, but he hoped there was more to the story. What did you do when you were our age?

Ian took a deep breath. Well, you know Grandpa was always on tour when I was a kid, right? The two nods were expected. I had a babysitter, who was technically my bodyguard. He kept me out of trouble for the most part. Memories flashed by, and he smiled. "Because of him, I met a lot of the greats from back in the