Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Cat in Charge
    Cat in Charge
    Cat in Charge
    Ebook105 pages1 hour

    Cat in Charge

    By Candy Rae

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    A long time ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have not forgotten this.

    Quotes from 'Cat in Charge':

    ‘However, my human and I are working very well together on this writing fing. I direct and human obeys. I find the best place to oversee is sitting along human shoulders against back of chair. This leaves paws free to correct.’

    ‘At the top is the top cat, then come all other cats, in strict order of seniority.’

    ‘Cat in Charge’ is written using British English with a Scottish flavour. There are spelling differences between British English and the English as written and spoken in other parts of our wonderful, diverse world. There are also spelling differences between Human English and Cat English. Where Cat English predominates, cat won the argument.

    PLANET WOLF
    (1) Wolves and War - (2) Conflict and Courage - (3) Homage and Honour - (4) Dragons and Destiny - (5) Valour and Victory - (6) Ambition and Alavidha - (7) Paws and Planets - (8) Tales and Tails

    DRAGON WULF
    (1) Journey and Jeopardy - (2) Gossamer and Grass - (3) Flames and Freedom

    FLYING COLOURS
    (1) Rascals and Renegades - (2) Outlaws and Overlords - (3) Sparkles and Sphinxes (forthcoming)

    T’QUEL MAGIC
    (1) Ephemeral Boundary - (2) Enduring Barrier - (3) Eternal Bulwark

    MULTIVERSE MUDDLE (forthcoming)
    (1) Vampyre Crypt - (2) Faie Castle - (3) Shadow Cave - (4) Demon Citadel

    SAMMY THE CAT
    (1) Cat in Charge - (2) Cat at Christmas - (3) Dog not in Charge

    KILL BY CURE

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherCandy Rae
    Release dateSep 4, 2017
    ISBN9781370559466
    Cat in Charge
    Author

    Candy Rae

    Candy Rae has been an avid reader since childhood, with fantasy and science fiction appearing on her bookshelf in her first year of university when a friend introduced her to talking dragons. All her life, she has wanted to write, but it wasn’t until Christmas Day in 2003 that she sat down and started planning the book that, after many revisions, became the first book in the Planet Wolf series: Wolves and War.As a former accountant, Candy was notorious among her family for elongating her commute home by parking in a safe space and starting to write, having got into the habit of carrying a notebook with her wherever she went, a habit she continues to this day. When she’s not writing, her hobbies include knitting, tapestry, and trying to figure out ‘whodunnit’ in murder mysteries.Candy lives in Ayrshire, Scotland, with her large black cat, Sammy, and her Labrador-Corgi cross, Alex. She writes her books in British English with a Scottish flavour.

    Read more from Candy Rae

    Related to Cat in Charge

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Paging Dr. Doolittle

      Aug 15, 2020

      Paging Dr. Doolittle
      5 min read

    • Article

      Just Do Your Best

      Mar 26, 2020

      “Hello, I’d like to make an appointment for one of our dogs to see one of your vets this morning, please,” I said. “Certainly, which dog is it?” enquired the receptionist. “Moss,” I replied. “Aww Mossy,” she beamed. “We love Mossy.” Moss has his fans

      5 min read

    • Article

      On Cloud Nine With Nimbus

      Apr 1, 2020

      On Cloud Nine With Nimbus
      4 min read

    • Article

      READER Reviews

      Aug 4, 2020

      by Enid Blyton (Hodder Children’s Books, £6.99) Review by Amber, age eleven Malory Towers is about life in a boarding school. Darrell Rivers is a courageous twelve-year-old girl who joins the school in the summer term of the first year and quickl

      5 min read

    • Article

      Season Of Goodwill? (You Might Need It)

      Nov 8, 2023

      CHRISTMAS is on the way and those of us with parrots have a lot extra to decide in the way of activities, extra food, presents, guests and so on. My first two parrots, the African greys Artha and Casper, taught me far more than I taught them. Althoug

      4 min read

    • Article

      Cat’s Whispers

      Jul 7, 2022

      Cat’s Whispers
      6 min read

    • Article

      Hear Meowt

      Feb 20, 2020

      There’s nothing harder than bidding your four-legged friend farewell and sending them to the rainbow bridge. The end of our pets’ lives is unfortunately something that most of us deal with at least once throughout our lives. So, what if we could clon

      2 min read

    • Article

      Cat’s Whispers

      Jul 7, 2022

      Cat’s Whispers
      5 min read

    • Article

      Dog Days

      Jan 23, 2022

      Dog Days
      8 min read

    • Article

      What Is a Dog?

      Mar 5, 2018

      What Is a Dog?
      16 min read

    • Article

      Table Talk

      Jun 1, 2023

      Table Talk
      11 min read

    • Article

      The Accidental Dog

      Mar 30, 2023

      LAST MONDAY SOMETHING extraordinary happened. I walked into my bedroom at about quarter to eleven (I had been drinking vermouth in the bath again) and found my girlfriend reading a book. She has made vague attempts before in the five years I’ve known

      3 min read

    • Article

      Counting Sheep

      May 14, 2021

      Counting Sheep
      7 min read

    • Article

      In Dogs We Trust

      Jan 18, 2022

      In Dogs We Trust
      6 min read

    • Article

      The Dogs

      Jan 27, 2020

      The Dogs
      13 min read

    • Article

      LETTER Of The MONTH

      May 1, 2021

      LETTER Of The MONTH
      5 min read

    • Article

      Clumbers Are Hitting The Mark

      Oct 19, 2022

      Clumbers Are Hitting The Mark
      5 min read

    • Article

      I Can Speak Cat!

      Jan 30, 2020

      I Can Speak Cat!
      2 min read

    • Article

      Winning Tales

      Apr 4, 2024

      There were an amazing 165 entries for the Picture Book category of the Writing Magazine Children’s Prize last year. Many congratulations to everyone who entered and to those writers whose stories were longlisted and shortlisted. Congratulations to ou

      5 min read

    • Article

      Muse Mail

      Sep 1, 2023

      Muse Mail
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Letter box

      Jan 1, 2020

      Dear Cricket, I have read your magazine many times and I love it! It makes me happy when it comes in the mail. I am legally blind and cannot see as well as others, but that’s OK, because I am still very smart. My type of blindness is caused by albini

      7 min read

    • Article

      Dear Doggy Diary

      Feb 14, 2023

      Dear Doggy Diary
      3 min read

    • Article

      Muse Mail

      Jan 1, 2024

      Muse Mail
      5 min read

    • Article

      Better Pair Of Eyes And Ears

      Apr 6, 2022

      Better Pair Of Eyes And Ears
      5 min read

    • Article

      Superman’s Best Friend

      Jun 24, 2022

      Superman’s Best Friend
      2 min read

    • Article

      When It’s Time To Say Goodbye

      May 24, 2023

      I bought a black labrador puppy in 2010. Having grown up in a house full of dogs, I knew what to expect from a four-legged friend, but this was the first dog that ever truly belonged to me. She gave me endless fun for all of 13 years, and she passed

      4 min read

    • Article

      The Letterbox

      Mar 1, 2019

      Dear Cricket, I like the way everybody says “Hey, every-buggy,” but I think I just want to say “Howdy!” I started reading Cricket about a year ago, so I’m still just a bit of a beginner and I don’t know Ladybug, Cricket, or all of the other bugs in t

      7 min read

    • Article

      Creature Comfort

      Oct 27, 2020

      Creature Comfort
      2 min read

    • Article

      Totally Quackers

      Jul 13, 2023

      Totally Quackers
      4 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Cat in Charge

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Cat in Charge - Candy Rae

      CAT IN CHARGE

      * * * * *

      ‘Written’ by Samson (Sammy) the Cat

      and

      Candy Rae

      * * * * *

      SMASHWORDS EDITION

      * * * * *

      Cat in Charge

      Copyright © 2017 Candy Rae

      All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead; is purely coincidental.

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of the author.

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only; then please return to smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      * * * * *

      BOOKS BY CANDY RAE

      Planet Wolf Series

      Wolves and War - Conflict and Courage - Homage and Honour - Dragons and Destiny - Valour and Victory - Ambition and Alavidha - Paws and Planets - Tales and Tails.

      Dragon Wulf Trilogy

      Journey and Jeopardy - Gossamer and Grass - Flames and Freedom.

      Flying Colours Trilogy

      Rascals and Renegades* - Outlaws and Overlords* - Lind and Larg*.

      T’Quel Magic Trilogy

      Ephemeral Boundary - Enduring Barrier - Eternal Bulwark.

      The Multiverse Muddle

      Faie Castle* - Shadow Crypt* - Demon Citadel*.

      Stand Alone Books

      Kill by Cure - Cat in Charge - Cat at Christmas - Dog not in Charge*.

      * Forthcoming (as of Cat in Charge Publication Date).

      * * * * *

      ‘Cat in Charge’ is dedicated to all cats, big and small, but especially one, in remembrance of a beautiful and feisty, black and white cat called Delilah, the sister of Samson.

      Also, we wish to say great big thank you to our readers, Fiona, Nancy, James, Daniel, Mae, Whitepaw, Blackpaw and Toots.

      * * * * *

      Cover and artwork by Harri Crawford.

      * * * * *

      AUTHOR’S NOTE

      ‘Cat in Charge’ is written using British English with a Scottish flavour. There are spelling differences between British English and the English as written and spoken in other parts of our wonderful, diverse world. There are also spelling differences between Human English and Cat English. Where Cat English predominates, cat won the argument.

      * * * * *

      TABLE OF CONTENTS

      INTRODUCTION

      CHAPTER 1 - MUM

      CHAPTER 2 - HOUSE

      CHAPTER 3 - FINGS

      CHAPTER 4 - MORE FINGS

      CHAPTER 5 - CATNIP

      CHAPTER 6 - NEW HOUSE

      OTHER STUFF

      * * * * *

      INTRODUCTION

      Just so you know, the reason why my name, Samson the Cat, is not on the cover as the writer of this book is because in this world we live in, we cats can’t set up internet accounts or enter into publishing. That is the one and only reason. I don’t want to get into an argument about what cats are capable of and what they are not. I am the author. Deal wif it.

      In addition to this, and before we begin, I need to make a few points.

      The idea that cats can’t read and write is ridiculous. It is a rumour instigated by a dog-inspired conspiracy a long time ago when dogs must have been cleverer than they are now. I know this for a fact.

      What do you fink we are doing when you leave your computer and come back to see us lying in front of, or on, the keyboard?

      Why do you fink we sit on your lap when you are reading?

      What really happens when you are encouraged to put down your newspaper so you can tickle us?

      Why is it that every time you come back to your armchair to read you find us sitting on it, paper or book by our side?

      We are getting an education, that’s what we are doing.

      Back to the writing problem …

      The reason is everyfing to do wif anatomy. What is specifically unfortunate is my lack of opposable thumbs. The tapping of the keys on keyboards takes a lot of time and is full of errors. My human however, wif a lot of help from me, is able to decipher which letters make up words and which do not.

      So, I suppose writing is not so much of a problem after all.

      Also, the screen is a huge distraction. I can concentrate on the keyboard, type the word, but when I look at the screen to check the spelling it is so interesting, I often forget what I have been doing.

      If I try to type and screen watch at the same time, disaster!

      My paw goes straight to the word on the screen and would you know it? As I press forward to see better, lots more letters appear!

      It’s a cat fing and I know that those perfidious mice and birds have somefing to do wif it.

      However, my human and I are working very well together on this writing fing. I direct and human obeys. I find the best place to oversee is sitting along human shoulders against back of chair. This leaves paws free to correct.

      This correction of errors might not be a simple swat. It means me using claws on its paws to indicate when human has made a mistake. This happens more often than you would fink.

      And regarding those perfidious mice; there must be a conspiracy. There just has to be.

      This conspiracy is not between my human and the mice. My human is terrified of the little fings wif tails that scurry along the ground. I can’t understand it, but … therein lies the difference between cats and humans.

      They are frightened of such silly fings.

      Therefore …

      Someone inside the house must become the fearless leader.

      Dogs? Certainly not! I fink their bravery is questionable and a great big bluff. May I also say that we all know that a great big bluff is the same fing as a great big lie? Dogs are also really, really stupid. I will talk more about this stupidity later, but I ask you, what animal in its right mind would roll around in fox poop?

      As the only ones capable of commanding a house, we cats must step in.

      This is why we cats are in charge.

      This is why I am in charge.

      * * * * *

      CHAPTER 1

      MUM

      To say a cat doesn’t remember everyfing is stupid!

      We remember everyfing. Every good deed, every slight, everybody.

      I remember when I was very small I couldn’t see anyfing. Of course this was long before my human took me to its house and I learned that kittens are born wif their eyes shut.

      The same went for the hearing bit. I can’t remember what came first, the hearing or the sight but it must have been at around the same time. I fink we will say it was

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1