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The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People): Positively Happy Me
The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People): Positively Happy Me
The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People): Positively Happy Me
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The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People): Positively Happy Me

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About this ebook

Are you constantly trying to please everyone? Do you dream of being more assertive? Are you struggling to say no without feeling guilty or creating conflict? Is this you:

 'When I say 'no' I feel guilty?'

' I don't know how to build confidence or boundaries'.

'I don't know when to say yes, how to say no'.

The truth is...we are all people-pleasers to some extent. But if you are trying to please everyone, if you are always putting yourself last, then you have a problem - you have the 'Disease To Please'.

The answer is to to stop trying to please everyone, find how to build confidence and learn specific techniques to say no. If you can do this, you will reclaim your freedom, peace of mind and life. And that's what you'll learn in The Life-Changing power of NO!

The goal of this book is simple: To teach you the habits, actions and techniques to stop pleasing everyone except yourself. You'll also learn how to build confidence, being more assertive and learning to say no without guilt or conflict.

You will also learn:

Why Lack of Self Confidence Makes You Say Yes - And What To Do About It.

How To Break Guilt's Powerful Hold By Being More Assertive.

A Simple 3 Step Formula For Finding The Resolve To Say No.

How To Say No And Be Heard, even with a lack of self-confidence.

The 5 Point Feel Good Checklist For Saying No Without Conflict.

 How To Say No Without Saying The Word No.

 6 Steps To A Foolproof No (Even With Difficult People).

 What To Do When They Won't Accept Your No.

 How To Build Your Confidence And Keep Your No In The Long Run.

And also dozens of word for word scripts you can adapt for any situation.

The LIFE-CHANGING POWER of NO! is full of tips and exercises that will have an immediate effect on your confidence and ability to stand up for yourself and say no!

And instead of just explaining how to build your confidence, be more assertive and say no effectively and without confrontation, The LIFE-CHANGING POWER of NO! includes dozens of word for word scripts you can adapt for any situation.

Praise for The Life-Changing Power of NO!

"The scripts are written out in a way I would actually talk. It was very true to the nature of people. I felt I had so much to choose from there's no reason to hold back a no."

"This book is a game-changer. After reading it, you’ll understand what drives us to say yes, realize the huge cost of not saying no, and learn how to say no gracefully in diverse circumstances. "

"I especially enjoyed this section: 6 Steps To A Foolproof No (Even With Difficult People). It has some great examples of how to deal with people who won’t take no for an answer. This book will change your life like it’s changed mine. "
 

LanguageEnglish
PublisherLaura Tong
Release dateSep 26, 2017
ISBN9781386972273
The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People): Positively Happy Me

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    Book preview

    The Life-Changing Power of NO! - Laura Tong

    The Life-Changing Power of NO!

    How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People)

    by

    Laura Tong

    PositivelyHappy.Me

    The Life Changing Power Of No! Copyright © 2017 by Global Feel Good Company. 

    All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the author. Reviewers may quote brief passages in reviews.

    Disclaimer

    No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, or transmitted by email without permission in writing from the publisher.

    While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein.

    This book is for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed are those of the author alone, and should not be taken as expert instruction or commands. The reader is responsible for his or her own actions.

    Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, including international, federal, state, and local governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising, and all other aspects of doing business in the US, Canada, or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the purchaser or reader.

    Neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of the purchaser or reader of these materials.

    Any perceived slight of any individual or organization is purely unintentional.YOU 

    Table of Contents

    YOUR FREE BONUS

    ––––––––

    FOREWORD

    ––––––––

    INTRODUCTION: YOUR LIFE IS NOT YOUR OWN

    The Disease To Please

    My Story

    Why You Owe It To Yourself To Read This Book

    ––––––––

    PART ONE: THE POSITIVE POWER OF NO!

    Why You Say Yes

    Guilt’s Part In Your Yes Habit

    ––––––––

    PART TWO: THE COST OF SAYING YES

    The Hidden Cost Of Yes

    What You Gain When You Break Your Yes Habit

    ––––––––

    PART THREE: HOW TO SAY NO AND BE HEARD

    A Simple 3 Step Formula For Finding The Resolve To Say No.

    The 5 Point Feel Good Checklist For Saying NO!

    ––––––––

    PART FOUR: HOW TO SAY NO TO DIFFICULT PEOPLE

    How To Say No Without Saying The Word No

    6 Steps To A Foolproof No (Even With Difficult People)

    A simplified alternative to get you started.

    ––––––––

    PART FIVE: HOW TO SAY NO WORD FOR WORD

    How To Use The Scripts

    How To Say No To Your Family

    How To Say No To Your Partner

    How To Say No To Your Friends

    How To Say No To Everyone Else

    How To Say No Respectfully At Work

    Freelancers: How To Say No To Clients And Interruptions

    ––––––––

    PART SIX: ADVANCED TECHNIQUES FOR SAYING NO!

    What To Do When They Won't Accept Your No.

    How To Keep Your No In The Long Run.

    ––––––––

    CONCLUSION: BUILDING THE HABIT OF NO!

    You Weren’t Born A Yes Person.

    ––––––––

    PART SEVEN: RESOURCES

    Further Reading

    How To Stop Feeling Guilty Over Just About Everything

    Glossary

    Contact information

    Thank You

    About Laura

    YOUR FREE BONUS

    As a way of saying thanks for your purchase, I’m offering you a free bonus that’s exclusive to readers of The Life-Changing Power Of No!

    Bonus Scripts:

    Extra Scripts For Everyday Situations.

    Bonus Chapter:

    What Medium Should You Use To Say Your No?

    When (And How) To Take Your No Back.

    And more!

    >> Tap Here to Grab your free bonuses <<

    FOREWORD

    If you’re like most people, hardly a day goes by without feeling the pressure to respond with yes, even though you want to say no. Laura Tong has written The Life-Changing Power of No to free you from the urge to say yes.

    This book is a game-changer. After reading it, you’ll understand what drives us to say yes, realize the huge cost of not saying no, and learn how to say no gracefully in diverse circumstances.

    Laura Tong is one of the most inspiring people I know. When I first met Laura and Mark, her wonderful life and business partner, a couple of years ago, I asked whether they liked being physically active. Laura said,

    Yes, we enjoy cycling, especially over longer distances. Oh, I said, sitting up. What kind of distances are you talking about? Well, we cycled from London to Sydney. It took us 18 months.

    My jaw dropped. Later on, I found out that their trip features in the Guinness Book of Records as the longest, unbroken journey on a tandem.

    Laura is a poster girl for the energy and determination that comes with saying no to what is not aligned with our path in life and responding with a resounding yes to what nourishes and fulfils us.

    I think we all suffer from a yes habit. I tend to say yes when someone asks me for help because my path in life revolves around supporting others, especially in my work as a Zen Master.

    What I recognized while reading this book is that saying yes to requests isn’t always a good thing. If the timing or circumstance makes things difficult, we may end up feeling resentful. And resentfulness is a corrosive emotion which harms others as well as ourselves.

    Why do we say yes when we mean no? As Laura points out, for many of us saying yes has become the default setting because we’ve been trained to say yes since early childhood.

    And we continue with our default setting into adult life. Laura says,

    A lot of this simply comes down to you being a decent human being. The kind who wants the world to get on, who likes people and doesn’t want to upset anyone unnecessarily. You say yes when you want to say no to avoid conflict, to be helpful.

    However, there is a huge cost to saying yes when you mean no. I remember a conversation with my friend, Leo Babauta, the person behind Zen Habits. He was concerned about not spending enough time with his family.

    As a consequence, he decided to pull back from many of his professional commitments, saying, It’s only by saying no that I can concentrate on what matters to me in life.

    Refusing a request is not easy. Laura’s book is profoundly practical, and she offers a variety of scripts you can use for saying no. I especially enjoyed this section: 6 Steps To A Foolproof No (Even With Difficult People).

    It has some great examples of how to deal with people who won’t take no for an answer. And the last part of the book is entirely dedicated to useful examples of how so say no, word for word.

    This book will change your life like it’s changed mine.

    Mary Jaksch, Founder of GoodlifeZen.com

    INTRODUCTION: YOUR LIFE IS NOT YOUR OWN

    I don't like saying 'no' to people, and I'm going to have to learn how to say 'no' more. -  Eric Betzig

    The Disease To Please

    Every day you hear the alarm you feel a sense of tedious inevitability. A sense that you’re stuck in an endless cycle of ‘yes’ days.

    And, no matter how hard you try, you’ll just keep saying ‘yes’ day after day, week after week, year after year.

    Until the day you die.

    Which might come as a relief because endlessly saying 'yes' has stolen life’s magic. It’s left you overwhelmed, over-committed and overstretched.

    It’s got you doing too many things, things you don’t like. Sometimes with people you’d rather spend less time with, way less time with.

    But the alternative seems impossible. What on earth would happen...

    If you gave up saying 'yes' to everyone and every request.

    If you put your needs before theirs.

    If you stood up for yourself and learned to say 'no'.

    They’d reject you, surely? There’d be rows, repercussions. They’d disown you.

    The very idea of saying ‘no’ is enough to bring on a panic attack.

    So you say 'yes'. Again...and again...and again.

    And it’s eating you up inside.

    But you can’t keep that 'no' locked up forever. In fact you’d love to scream it out. To have it tattooed on your forehead, emblazoned on your front. To carry a giant placard with it scrawled in big red brush strokes...

    NO! NO! NO!

    But there’s one reason above all others that stops that 'no' escaping your lips...

    You have a problem - You're a people-pleaser.

    But so am I.

    And so is the guy next door, Oprah and the President of The United States.

    In fact, everyone's a people-pleaser to some extent.

    And that’s fine and healthy.  Needing to be loved and approved of is as natural as wanting food and shelter.

    It’s when you become addicted to pleasing people that it's a problem.

    In fact, more than a problem, a disease.

    'The Disease To Please' as H. B. Braiker called it.

    And it’s consuming you.

    You want everyone to like you. To love you. You dread disapproval.

    And people-pleasing seems the safe way to inoculate yourself against conflict and confrontation in relationships, whether family, friends, or at work.

    You fail to speak up, fail to say what’s on your mind, fail to allow yourself to be the real you.

    Fail to say 'no’.

    So how do you know if you've got the disease to please? If you're a 'yes' junkie?

    Just be honest with yourself...

    Are you constantly running around being everyone else's go-to person?

    Are you always changing your plans at a moment’s notice?

    Are you the one who will always take on more work and stay late?

    Basically, are you the one who will always say 'yes' because you feel guilty? Are you the one who never says 'no' because you’re afraid of confrontation?

    Because if so, it's screwing up your life. No, scrub that. It's already screwed up your life.

    If it can be called your life, because your 'yes' addiction comes at a heavy price which I’ll cover in ‘The Hidden Cost Of Saying Yes.’

    So what’s the answer?

    How do you stop being intimidated and stand up for yourself without appearing aggressive?

    How do you stop saying ‘yes’ and learn to say ‘no' without creating conflict?

    And how do you stop putting everyone else’s needs and wants before yours without feeling guilty?

    There is an answer. And it lies in this book. Because when you understand The Life Changing Power Of No! and how to harness it, it will transform your life.

    You’ll learn:

    Why you say ‘yes’ and importantly, what you gain by saying ‘no’.

    How guilt pushes your ‘yes’ button and how to stop it.

    A simple formula for saying ‘no’ without appearing aggressive.

    A step by step approach for saying no without creating unnecessary conflict.

    And importantly, painless and effective ways to say ‘no’ to difficult people.

    And throughout, the book is packed with practical examples and tips. And to make sure you can say ‘no’ to anyone in any situation, the second half of the book shows you how to say ‘no’ word for word.

    You’ll find scripts for saying ‘no’ kindly and compassionately to family, partners and

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