A Heart that Needs Him More

About the Author

Kay Edwards loves Jesus. She has written three full series that show her love and dedication to her Savior. Born and raised in a small community in Pennsylvania’ Kay grew up in the church knowing and loving her Savior. As a survivor of abuse, she penned her first book A Prelude to a Dance as a way to deal with the darkness that comes with abuse. She also wrote it to give a voice to those still silent about their abuse. Bible scripture is all throughout Kay’s books. Her desire is for those reading her books to also read the passages from the Bible. Kay hopes that you will enjoy this next series and all the passages of scripture she has in them. Please, look them up. Her desire is to show people that God is never far away. We serve a Savior that knows us better than we know ourselves. Enjoy getting to know the first characters in Brides of the Southwest series. Kay hopes you are just as smitten with Dalia and Mack as she was when she dreamed them up in her mind.

Dedications and Recognitions

I would like to dedicate this book to a woman that has shown me your past doesn’t define your future when Christ comes into your life. Terry Ross has inspired me with her willingness to see God walking close to her even when she was not walking with Him. Since making this dedication, my heart has become heavy. Terry passed away of cancer. I’m grateful that Terry was able to see her dedication before Jesus took her into eternity with Him.

I would also like to thank my family for once again giving me space to be creative.

Prelude

September of 1869

Mack took his wife’s hand in his. He closed his eyes as he heard her breathing become extremely labored. When she gently squeezed his hand, he looked down into her pale face.

Alice loved this man. She was aware that her time on earth was almost up. Alice knew words still needed to be spoken to him. Make sure you live. Have those babies you wanted. Find someone, Mack.

Mack choked on his tears. His voice was hoarse when he spoke to the woman he had vowed to love until death they did part. Don’t talk like that. Please, I can’t do this.

Alice continued to gasp for breath. She smiled despite the pain racking her frail body. I will see you again. Do not lose your faith in Jesus, Mack. He loves us. I don’t know why I’m leaving you, but He does. If I’m not here, I know God has someone for you. She needs you more than I do. You were made for a life of love. Find her, Mack, don’t let her down.

Mack didn’t hide the tears. They streamed freely down his cheeks. He would not commit to what she wanted of him at that moment. Right now, he wanted her, and she was going away. I love you, Alice. I’m here. I wish you could stay.

Alice nodded. I know you do, but I can’t. I’m tired. I can’t keep my eyes open much longer. I’m glad I will see you last here on earth. When I open my eyes again, I will see Jesus. I love you, Mack Shore. Please, find love. Love me by finding her. Find the one who needs you more.

Mack watched his beautiful bride close her eyes. He held her hand as her breathing came to an end. His voice came out in a ragged sob. Help me, Jesus! It hurts!

Ten Miles Away the Same Night

Dalia glanced at the man that walked into her house. She knew why he was there. His very presence terrified her. Dalia walked to her room and closed the door and her eyes as she heard the man and her mother talk. Her brown eyes formed tears as she heard the words being said. She slowly made her way to her bed and sat down. Dalia heard the footsteps before she watched the door of her room open. She glanced around and then down at her hands not able to look at her mother.

Abby observed her daughter’s distress. Why her stepmom had brought Dalia back, Abby didn’t know. She actually didn’t care. Dalia was money in her purse and food on the table. She planned on making her daughter’s first count. A virgin went for a great deal of money. Make that virgin hard to get, and the price went up. Abby kept telling herself that was why she had not sold Dalia’s innocence yet. It had nothing to do with her motherly instincts. The nagging feeling that came into Abby’s heart was once again pushed aside. He will be back for you on your eighteenth birthday. That gives you six months to come to terms with your new life. I can’t wait for that self-righteous smirk to be wiped off your face.

Dalia wanted to vomit. She looked up at her mother after taking a deep breath. I don’t hate you. You are my mom. I just want to show you, love. Why? Why are you doing this to me? I hear you cry at night. You don’t want this. Please…

Abby regarded her daughter. There was not one part of her that believed this girl could love her. She snorted refusing to back down. Abby would never allow herself to be hurt again. It was a lesson she learned well at a young age. She hardened her heart toward her daughter. I was selling myself at your age. You should be grateful I’m letting you turn eighteen.

Dalia swallowed the lump in her throat. She nodded as she whispered something she didn’t feel. Thank you.

Abby nodded. Your welcome.

Dalia’s life had been turned upside down. Last year at this time she had lived on a ranch with her father. He had claimed her the second she was born. Her step-mom had never liked her. Two weeks ago, her father had died suddenly. Her step-mom had brought her here and left her. She thought of the life she had ahead of her and began to formulate a plan. She would not sell her body. Dalia would do everything she could to escape the future she had in her mother’s house.

Chapter One

April of 1870

Dalia turned eighteen in four days. She had been busy the last few months. She was able to obtain her teaching certificate, but no one would hire her because of who her mother was. She knew she had to leave but didn’t have the money to make it to another town. Taking a pair of scissors, she cut her hair. She spent the next twenty minutes turning herself into the other thing she knew how to be. Dalia knew how to be a cowboy. She honestly didn’t know what she was going to do if this didn’t work. She had to get away from this town. She shuddered at what would happen if she stayed.

Dalia whispered softly to herself after burning her hair so her mom wouldn’t know she cut it. Now you have the hair done. Let’s see if we can get our chest under control.

Dalia looked at her chest. She made a face. I guess God wanted to make sure people knew I was female. She was a pretty tiny person. Her chest didn’t get the message to stop growing. She grimaced as she took a deep breath. This is going to hurt.

Twenty minutes and a lot of pain later she looked at herself in the mirror. She looked like a young boy. She would see if one of the drives north needed an extra cowboy. She could rope, ride, and shoot thanks to her dad’s training. She prayed his lessons would serve her well. Dalia needed them now more than ever. If she didn’t get away from there, one of the vilest men she had ever met would find her. He made sure the last time he saw her that she got that message. He had told her there was no place she could run. He had told her he would find her if she did. When she turned eighteen, she would belong to him. Dalia desperately needed to prove him wrong.

Taking time to pack a bag with extra clothes, Dalia also made sure she grabbed two of her dresses. If her plan worked, she would need to be presentable for an interview. However, Dalia knew she also had to be careful of being found out. Both dresses and her shift were discreetly placed at the bottom of her bag. Taking a deep breath, Dalia made her way out of her mom’s house into an uncertain future.

Mack looked at the boys in front of him. He knew most were orphans. He had to pick four. He said a prayer asking for God’s guidance. It was something he did every time he was forced to do this. Do any of you have experience?

Dalia raised her hand. She remembered to drop her voice a few octaves when she spoke. I can shoot, rope, and ride.

Mack regarded the boy skeptically. The kid looked like he was at most twelve. He found it hard to believe that the boy could even stay on a horse. Have you done a cattle drive before?

Dalia nodded. She did her best not to lie. She wanted to be as honest as she could be. This was not about deceit this was about survival. I did with my father before he died. I can show you if you want.

Mack was going to move on, but something gave him pause. The boy’s eyes begged him to not to skip him. A desperation was held in his young eyes that Mack could not ignore. Ok. You can rope my horse.

Dalia looked at the horse. She glanced back at the man. This was not even a challenge. If this was all he asked, maybe he didn’t want to take her. She wanted a challenge but knew she had already pushed her luck. Her voice was diplomatic. He isn’t even moving. Are you sure you don’t want something more?

Mack chuckled at the boy’s confidence. He was curious to see if he could deliver. I’m good go ahead.

Dalia easily roped the horse. She looked at the man like she had just wasted his time. Her heart was begging God to help her get this position.

Mack nodded. That the boy found it easy was obvious. He took a deep breath knowing this kid was younger than they wanted. Those brown eyes were killing him though. Ok. I’ll take you. What is your name?

Dalia had already decided to use her first name. Even her mom was unaware that her given name was Ronnie Dalia Spencer. Her dad only ever called her Dalia. No one ever called her Ronnie. She really hoped she could remember to respond when it was used. If she didn’t, she was as good as discovered. I’m Ronnie.

Mack shook the young boy’s hand. The boy was obviously not afraid of work. He could feel the callouses on his hand. Welcome aboard. Are you able to leave with us today?

Dalia nodded. She had never been so relieved in her life. She was ready to leave the second she roped his horse. She prayed she didn’t sound too relieved or eager. I am.

Mack pointed to the back of the wagon. He watched the boy get into the back. Something was different about the boy. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Mack went back to picking the rest of the boys he would need. His mind, however, wondered about the brown-eyed boy in the wagon.

Dalia watched the other boys walk toward her. She was scared but did her best to hide it. If this man figured her out, she could end out on the trail somewhere abandoned and alone. The sad part of that was it would still be better than what waited for her if she stayed.

Mack took one more look at the first boy he hired. A part of him couldn’t help but wonder if he was running from something. When he made eye contact, he noticed the haunted look on the boy’s face before he looked down. The kid seemed too young to have that kind of fear.

Dalia glanced at her hands. She didn’t look up again until the boss was not looking at her. As the boys talked, she stayed quiet. A boy across from her looked at her close. She could see him trying to figure her out.

Have you even shaved yet? You look young enough to still be in nappies.

Dalia smiled. She kept her voice low. I’m a late bloomer I guess. My name is Ronnie.

The boy stuck out his hand. The smile on his face was genuine. I’m Danny.

Dalia shook his hand. She had purposely worked some calluses onto her hands in the last two months as a way to prove she was a hard worker. She was very glad she had. It seemed men did a lot of handshaking. Dalia knew her soft feminin hands would have given her away. She just had to remember to keep her voice low. A part of her was starting to believe she could do this. She prayed silently that she was right. Failure was not an option for her.

Another boy stuck out his hand. His eyes held a hint of curiosity. I’m Alex.

Dalia smiled at him. She had no intentions of satisfying that look. Her voice was low and cordial. Nice to meet you.

The last boy regarded her through narrow eyes. He seemed more curious than the other two. He held out his hand. How old are you? You look awful young. I’m Darrel.

Dalia avoided the question to avoid lying. She knew they thought she was closer to twelve than she was to eighteen. She needed desperately to keep it that way. I’m old enough. I have done this before. I’m pretty confident I can do it again. It is either this or the streets.

The rest of the boys nodded. They understood the streets. The thought of living there any longer didn’t set well with any of them.

Mack glanced at his foreman Albert. It didn’t go unnoticed to either of them that Ronnie had avoided the question. Mack was still given pause though. He felt in his gut that Ronnie was supposed to go with them. He would not question the boy anymore. He didn’t want to force him to lie. He had a feeling that if he did question him that is exactly what Ronnie would be forced to do. Mack was furious that circumstances had brought this about for the young kid. If he could help it, Ronnie and the others would never know the streets again.

Dalia dozed a little during the ride to the ranch. She knew if her eyes were closed she would not have to talk. She was afraid of being figured out. It was a solid hour and a half. She looked around her. Tears stung her eyes. Dalia wished she understood why her father died. She trusted God, but a part of her wondered at the ‘why’ of the matter. She glanced up just as the boss looked back. She lowered her eyes as she wiped a tear away. Dalia knew he saw it. She was glad he didn’t question it.

Mack wondered about the tears. He still kept silent choosing not to ask Ronnie about them. Seeing those tears tugged at his heart. That the boy was hurting was obvious. He decided that he would do his best to guide him. They would be spending at least twelve weeks together. It was time enough to help Ronne and gain his trust. At least he hoped it was.

Chapter Two

Dalia watched the ranch come into view. She took a deep breath wondering what the boss man’s wife was like or if he even had one. She prayed if he did that another woman’s eyes would not see her. Dalia knew that most women would be able to see through her getup. She turned her mind from negative thoughts. She glanced at Danny and smiled. You look like you want to get out and run.

Danny gave her a sheepish grin. He liked Ronnie. The boy was quiet but nice. The streets had not tainted him. I’m ready to start this adventure.

Mack watched the boys get out of the wagon. When Alex shoved Ronnie playfully, he couldn’t help but note the boy’s face. It was like he was trying to understand what the other boy was doing. He chuckled as Ronnie’s eyes narrowed and he playfully shoved the boy back.

Dalia looked up to see the boss’s eyes on them. She waited to see what the man would say. If she were lucky, the speech would be short and sweet. She was tired and hungry.

Mack cleared his throat as Albert stood beside him. Here is the deal. We do the drive and do our best to get back here in one piece. This is dangerous. We may lose one or two of us on the way. If you are not sure about this, say so now. We can arrange a way for you to get back to town. Do we have anyone that wants to change their mind?

No one said a word when Mack looked around, so he continued. We usually keep you on once we get back here. You will have three square meals a day. I will also pay you eight dollars a week. Since the trail ride is more dangerous, as I said in town, you will get ten dollars a week when on the drive. Are there any questions?

Albert looked at the crew. He was pleased they all wanted to stay. All right boys follow me.

Ronnie started to get nervous again as she realized where Albert was leading them. She had not really thought about the sleeping arrangements. She knew there would be men in the bunkhouse with the younger boys. She said a prayer that no one was indecent as they walked in and found their bunks.

Albert looked at