How to Fail Miserably at Being Queer
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About this ebook
Okay, let’s be clear about something: there’s no right or wrong way to be queer. But if you’re anything like award-winning queer Canadian author Giselle Renarde, you’ve got insecurities up the wazoo. Even when you’re proud of your sexuality, gender identity and presentation, it seems like there’s always a voice out there (or even one in your head) saying you’re not doing queerness right.
Giselle Renarde is a writer who’s been failing at everything since 2006. Her erotica and queer fiction have appeared in nearly 200 short story anthologies and published by two of the Big Five publishing houses, but don’t let that fool you. Giselle is a writer who knows how to fail—consistently and thoroughly!
At some point or another, we all feel like we’re failing. Maybe if we can feel united by our insecurities, there’s hope of moving past them!
Giselle Renarde
Giselle Renarde is a queer Canadian, avid volunteer, and contributor to more than 100 short story anthologies, including Best Women's Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bondage Erotica, and Best Lesbian Romance. Ms Renarde has written dozens of juicy books, including Anonymous, Ondine, and Nanny State. Her book The Red Satin Collection won Best Transgender Romance in the 2012 Rainbow Awards. Giselle lives across from a park with two bilingual cats who sleep on her head.
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Book preview
How to Fail Miserably at Being Queer - Giselle Renarde
How to Fail Miserably at Love
© 2017 by Giselle Renarde
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
The essays in this collection were originally published on the authors’ blog Oh Get a Grip!
Cover design © 2017 Giselle Renarde
First Edition 2017
How to Fail Miserably at Being
Queer
Everything I’ve Done Wrong
By Giselle Renarde
Table of Contents
Off with the Fairies
What Your Favourite Sailor Scout Says About You
Mortified
Fascination/Disgust
Without Sounding Political
Maybe I Shouldn't...
Anonymous. Obsession.
A True Ghost Story (I should know. I was there.)
When the nipple makes its first appearance...
Hello, Kitty
Off with the Fairies
Every once in a while, my girlfriend talks about pantomimes. She figures you can't pull off panto the same way they could back in the day. Children's sense of humour has become too sophisticated. Used to be that the adults in the audience were the only ones laughing at the dirty jokes. Now kids have enough exposure to understand innuendo.
I don't know if that's true, but it's never really the point of Sweet's story. She tells me about the seventies, when her kids were growing up. Kids were still naive enough that pantomimes didn't raise parents' hackles.
Her daughter's drama group put on a pantomime one year, and asked if any of the dads would take on the Dame role. Sweet jumped at the opportunity.
So, I should probably mention that my girlfriend still identified as a man in the seventies. She'd been cross-dressing secretly since childhood, but