Our Lady's Travels: Our Lady of Joy, #3

Chapter One

Lira stood in the doorway next to Rease, Night at her hip, checking out their new room.

After leaving the Western Marches, they had sailed steadily south along the coastline of the continent of Africa, or as it was known here, the Southern Marches. While they had stopped in several ports to resupply, Lira and her party had stayed on the ship at the captain’s request while a group of sailors took a small dingy into port. She wasn’t sure if that caution was solely for her being Our Lady of Joy or because he feared he might lose one of them. But either way, they had been confined to the ship, which had become unpleasantly small in no time.

After a time that had felt far longer to Lira than it really was for a variety of reasons, they had reached their destination country, Isura Okun, which appeared to be located by what was the Gulf of Guinea in their old world as best as she and her father could determine in furtive conversation. Once they had docked, Adisa, the foreign diplomat who had offered them sanctuary, had escorted them directly to the palace and this amazing suite of rooms, telling them that he would be back later once he had spoken with the female ruler of his country, whom he called his Queen.

So now Lira took a few steps into the suite of rooms she had been given, looking around, trailed by Rease and Night. The front room was large, with light walls and brightly colored couches and chairs overflowing with pillows and surrounded by smaller tables. She spotted a few good hiding places where her MP3 player would get enough light to recharge without being visible, which was a relief since she had not been able to discreetly recharge it on board the ship.

As she slowly spun around, she decided that she liked this room. While it had been hot outside, it was a comfortable temperature in the palace overall and this room was no exception, being even cooler than the long hallways they had walked to reach it. Their kittens, Ayodele and Dayo, were already patting out spaces on the couches to nap, having shown no concern over the scenery change from the ship.

When she checked out the single door on the far wall, it led into a bedroom with an attached bath. The bed was a massive wooden thing as plushly appointed as the couches in the other room, numerous pillows spilling across the headboard and big enough for a slumber party involving an entire sports team. It looked like a piece of furniture made for giants. She’d never seen anything like it, she thought in awe as she looked at it.

That is the most awesome bed ever. It’s like its own plush world, it’s so big.

She giggled, wondering if Adisa had told the Queen about Our Lady’s habit of group naps and that had earned her this gigantic bed, big enough to fit half the people who came with them. It was like a huge, padded room itself, she thought as she stared at it with wide, impressed eyes. She loved it. When Lira peeked into the bathroom, she saw another massive tub, which cheered her immensely, as well as something that might be a shower, to her absolute delight.

By the time she collapsed on the gigantic and very soft bed, she was quite happy with their new digs. She knew Rease would probably get some sort of room of his own for propriety’s sake, but she didn’t have enough energy to even ask right now. Since she had spent the majority of the voyage sucking on lozenges the sailors swore helped with seasickness while lying in their double bunk in the cabin they had shared with their friend Hanna, trying not to be sick, she was going to take a nap. She was exhausted, having barely recovered from being kidnapped when they had left. Not having been able to hold much down or sleep well on the ship since then had left her positively stupid and cranky. She had been daydreaming of a immobile bed for what felt like forever by now, so she couldn’t wait to sink into the plush bedding and just sleep.

The only problem was that when she closed her eyes, the bed started to spin, just as it had on the ship. She lurched upright, panting. Night, who had since collapsed on his own plush mat by the foot of the bed, lifted his head to look at her. Recognizing a situation that had become commonplace, the dog dropped his head with a sigh, closing his eyes. Rease looked at her from the doorway, his face worried.

Still not better? he asked sympathetically.

This is like being drunk without the fun part, Lira moaned, squeezing her eyes shut.

She heard him cross the room and then felt the dip of the bed as he sat next to her. As she sat there, her eyes still shut, her head bowed as she steadied her stomach, she felt him sliding an arm around her, pulling her closer to him where he sat up against the headboard. She put her head in his lap and slid one arm around his leg as if to anchor herself. As she did, the bed finally stopped spinning and she gave a sigh of relief. His hand came down to stroke her hair very softly.

You’ll feel better soon, he said quietly. Your body just has to get used to the idea that the ground is steady now.

I’m so sorry, Rease, she said miserably.

What are you sorry for? Rease asked curiously.

Wrecking everyone’s lives. Forcing them to emigrate while listening to me puke.

I’m such a mess, she muttered. I spent nearly the whole trip almost vomiting on you and I hadn’t been much fun for awhile before that, even. You can’t have had a good time with me lately.

Rease smiled down at her, his expression openly affectionate.

I’d still rather be with you when you’re a mess than spend time with anyone else, he said softly.

I hope so.

Really? Lira asked plaintively as she tightened her grip on his leg. You’re not just saying that?

If I were ill, would you leave me for someone else to watch over? he asked quietly, still smiling at her as if amused.

No, of course not, Lira said, shocked at the idea.

Then why do you think I would want to do that with you? he asked gently.

I don’t know, she mumbled guiltily. Because my sickness was gross and smelly and I have so many problems lately that you might want a break. I could understand if you did.

Ah, he said, his tone considered. But since your, his tone dropped to indicate disapproval with her word choice, "problems are related to being drugged and abducted with almost no time allowed for recovery before we shoved you on a ship and triggered your seasickness, I hardly think I can consider them anything that will continue to haunt us."

I need it in plainer English, please.

So you still like me? she asked in a tiny voice, because even though she knew the answer, she still wanted to hear him say it. Even now that we’re here?

"Like is a feeble word for it, Princess, he said reassuringly, tugging a lock of her hair gently. Your Wolf is not a fickle creature, so you really don’t need to worry about things like that. I’m here to stay, no matter where we may happen to find ourselves."

Relief coursed through her at his words and she eased her grip on his leg.

I don’t know how I could do this without you, she said softly. This is even harder than I thought. Without you helping me on the ship, I’d probably have fallen overboard one day while hurling over the rail. I’d be hopeless here on my own.

You need to stop worrying about things like that, he whispered. That’s a pointless thing to fret over. You’re not on your own. You have all of us. And I’m here to stay, Princess. As long as you need or want me here, I’ll be with you.

Good thing, she snorted weakly, since my dad is completely disgusted by my puking. I would have spent the entire time at sea with my head in a bucket while he stood in the doorway, holding his nose and trying not to gag.

You do have the most interesting imagery, Rease murmured as he stroked her hair.

Sorry, she whispered, wincing a little.

And you are far too apologetic, he continued, his voice still low and soft.

Sorr–, she started before she cut herself off.

She looked up to see him smiling at her.

Are you teasing me? she asked, narrowing her eyes in mock anger.

Maybe, he said, his voice making it clear that he was.

Lira smiled back, then hugged his leg more tightly. She wigged closer, closing her eyes. She felt his hand slide over her hair, then her cheek as he cupped her face with one hand and started to rub her back with the other.

Just sleep, he said softly. You need to rest for a few days. You’ve had a tough time of it lately. I want you to get better. So let’s take a nap and when you wake up, we’ll see about getting you some food you can hold down.

You’ll be here when I wake up, won’t you? she mumbled. You won’t leave?

I won’t leave, Princess, he replied softly. Promise. Just sleep.

And so, content that her Wolf and her dog were watching over her, Lira slept.

Rease looked down at Lira as she slept with her head on his lap.

He felt awful as he looked down at her pale, drawn face, the dark circles under her eyes. She didn’t look as poorly as she had in the past when they had stopped speaking and she had not even bothered to brush her hair or dress, at least. Then, she had looked as if she were in mourning, like everything that made her who she was had been grayed out, overlaid with such pain that it almost removed it entirely.

Now, she just looked sick or as if she were recovering from a serious illness, which wasn’t really all that far from the truth, he realized. She had spent more than a month unknowingly being dosed with sedatives by her tutor before the woman had arranged to have her kidnapped and they had rescued her, though not before she had a very unpleasant time of it. She had barely begun recovering from that before they were rushing to catch a ship out of the country, distantly pursued by agitated citizens who believed that they had an obligation to rescue her from what they perceived as abuse from the country’s ruling body, the Council.

That perception had been born from the Council’s refusal to approve her petition for autonomy and the resulting chaos that had ensued when Lira had retaliated by doing what being Our Lady of Joy enabled her to do: collect, intensify and then broadcast her feelings over a wide geographic area, a phenomenon known as a Blessing. Wearing a medallion created for Our Lady of Sorrow’s Guardian so that he would always be capable of defending his Conduit no matter what else was happening, Rease was the only one unaffected by her affinity, something he had greatly appreciated at the time, as what she had shared had been her grief, pain and fury at the denial of her petition. That had caused the garrison jail cells to overflow for several days as the less scrupulous among the population had run wild, fueled by Lira’s emotions. But even that clear threat had not been enough to convince the Council to accept her petition for autonomy.

Not when doing so would remove her from their direct control.

In her petition, she had asked to be formally excused from the traditional oversight that Conduits were subject to from the government’s martial authority, the Order of the Guardian Knights, more commonly known as the Order. Generally, Conduits, women who were born with an ability called an affinity that allowed them to manipulate the elements or in Lira’s case, emotions, were considered the property of the state, regarded as highly valuable for their ability to provide the proper climate and materials for farming, trade and manufacture. As such, they were required to fulfill specific assignments while protected by their Guardians and held subject to the Code of Conduct, one of the rules which specified that Conduits and Guardians were forbidden from romantic involvement to avoid abuse and turmoil within the partnership. As tradition generally dictated that a younger partner be matched with a much older one for the best training, such a rule was a sensible thing, especially to protect the younger, more timid Conduits from any mistreatment.

But unlike traditional teams of Conduits and Guardians, in which both parties were encouraged to request multiple temporary assignments together before committing to a partnership by choice, Rease had been assigned to Lira more than a year before she was even in their world by the Lord High Commissioner herself. Once Lira had kissed him courtesy of too much wine the very first night he had met her, Rease had fallen hard for the idea that he was going to be more than her Guardian. Luckily, she had too, hence the request to be excused from the Order’s Code of Conduct, which would free her to become formally involved with Rease.

However, Lira was Our Lady of Joy, the second of only two Emotion Conduits in their world’s history and uniquely valued for her ability to freely share the more positive and motivating emotions such as love and empathy through her Blessings. As those emotions caused an unprecedented increase in public productivity and compliance, directly affecting the nation’s economic and political stability, her life was not her own. As representatives of the most affluent and politically connected families who had controlled and developed regions of the country for generations, the Council members saw no gain in allowing a Guardian without connections to take that greatly coveted place at her side when one of their own could influence or even control the most highly esteemed Conduit in the history of their world.

So they had denied her petition.

But Lira had decided that simply would not do, a sentiment of which Rease heartily approved. As a result, here they were, far from the land of his birth, waiting for the Council to come to their senses and vote in her favor. And even if he sometimes felt something like anxiety roiling within him when he examined how he felt about all these alterations to the life he had thought so depressingly certain before her arrival, he regretted none of it.

Lira had come into his life and changed everything, he thought now as he looked down at her.

He would be a fool not to follow her and her little band of misfits wherever they went, he knew and he was no fool. They were the first family, the first home that he had known since he had lost his mother, his only surviving parent, when he was ten and had gone into the garrison an orphan widely referred to as the boy, being the only child there. It had not been an easy way to grow up. But he had survived and his reward was this, he thought as he looked down at the most esteemed and valued Conduit in the world, a girl so stubbornly set on having him as more than her Guardian that she had fled the continent rather than be denied the man she had publicly named Our Lady’s Wolf.

It didn’t get any better than this.

Having known fear and loneliness for more than half his life to date, Rease knew that he was supposed to be hers with a deep certainty that struck him as an essential truth, so much so that he had never debated it. Once she had accepted him as her Wolf, he had already been so far down the deep well of his feelings for her that only her approval and acceptance was a tall enough ladder to bring him back up to the light. Anything less and he would still be there, alone and uncertain in the dark. But she had stood up in front of the entire garrison and claimed him, detailing his attributes and giving him a title so very suited to him that it had turned even the long-standing rumors of his feral nature into something positive.

Now, he could even remember the exact moment, the way thoughts of oh, of course, that’s why he’s so wild; he’s Our Lady’s Wolf had drifted across the faces in the crowd, as obvious as if they had been shouted aloud. In that moment, she had recreated him into something ferocious and savage in the best of ways, undercutting anything the garrison gossips could ever share so that now anything they said would be simply part of his allure, the essential wildness that had drawn Our Lady to him in the first place. That had changed everything for him, turning him from a pariah into a legend. He looked down at her again, thinking of how lucky he was once more.

He recalled how she had been on the ship, so very sad and sick. And while her illness had not been pleasant for either of them, it had been far from the agony for him that she feared. Forced into communal living after the death of his mother, he had years to learn to tolerate the most unpleasant aspects of sharing space with other people, so a little vomiting was nothing compared to the garrison on a daily basis.

But it was even more than that, he admitted now.

Having been alone for so long, he found even the most routine and tiresome chores required of him as Lira’s caretaker during her illness to be valuable and important things. To him, they represented a chance to demonstrate to her and everyone else watching that he both understood and desired the role she was carving out for him as someone of far greater importance to her than just her Guardian. And in the end, how he felt about her made it easy enough to do whatever she needed, as she always did for him. So instead of being repulsed by her seasickness and the inevitable consequences of it, he had found himself so sympathetic that it really didn’t bother him much at all to stay with her through even the worst of it.

Even that little bit of unease had faded when he had realized that it meant that she still preferred his company over all others. Like when she was crying or worried, she turned to him when sick as if he were the only one who could make her feel better, no matter the circumstances of her upset. He liked that for how it made him feel and what it said about her feelings for him. It was proof once more that she was his and Rease knew that only by vigorously protecting and caring for what was his could he keep it safe.

His mother’s murder had taught him that, a lesson which he had never forgotten.

Now he had won the heart of Our Lady of Joy, Lira, his feral little princess and he would fight viciously to keep it, he vowed. He had not thought much of that on the ship, busy as he had been constantly trying to feed and water Lira in the hopes that she could keep down something. She had slept a great deal, waking in fits and starts to be sick, so that she often had fallen asleep sitting up, propped up against Rease, who had kept a bucket handy for her sudden, violent awakenings. The fact that she had been having such a miserable time had caused her to cry frequently when she had been awake. While she had apologized profusely for crying so much, which ironically had only made her weep more, he had felt it a very understandable thing, having seen her go from sleep to having her head in the bucket, being horrifically ill, just moments later for many days.

Still, he thought now as he stroked her hair as she slept, even that sick, she had been just as kind as ever. Worried about how her illness might affect everyone, she had given weak Blessings regularly as soon as her vomiting had finished after she awoke. Uncertain as to how long or well her Blessings might work in such circumstances, she had insisted on doing one every day to keep everyone else comfortable, even as she herself had been far from such a state of contentment. That usually had allowed her to sleep peacefully for a few hours, giving Rease the narrow window of opportunity to feed her between the Blessing and when she fell asleep. Otherwise, she had been abjectly miserable for the entire voyage and with good reason.

So all his energy had gone into watching over her. He had spent his time thinking about practical things like how close the bucket was or trying to estimate if he could cajole her into eating more or drinking another glass of water before she fell asleep again. He hadn’t thought about anything past that, not what had happened nor what was to come. Even as one specific memory had pushed at his very subconscious so that he had dreamed of it repeatedly, he still had not felt like he could spare the time to think deeply upon it, not with Lira so ill. But now, as she slept comfortably, he finally allowed himself to dwell on that moment when he had known that she was just as serious about this as he was.

When they had left the Western Marches, he had asked her to think of something she loved so that the crowd on the docks would calm. And he had heard as, almost inaudibly, she had breathed you as she had leaned back into him. So he had kissed her right there on the deck of the ship while the docks had roared with approval, knowing that she did love him back, that he did matter to her the way she mattered to him, even if she wasn’t ready to say it aloud yet. He thought about that now, relived it moment by moment when the truth of how she felt had been evident in both what she had said and how she had kissed him in front of thousands of people.

As he did, there was a stirring within him, a shifting.

In the landscape of his heart, the black wolf watched in amazement as the boy grew suddenly, between one astonished blink of its eyes and the next. Starting only a few years older than when his mother had died, the boy grew another few years now, becoming taller and broader, his muscles thickening. Now only a year or two younger in spirit than the girl he loved, the young man shouted in excitement as the wolf howled. Together, they raced across the grassy plains and dove into the lush forest of their world, a gift from the girl they loved who had come into their lives like the sun, bringing light and heat and growth. To them, she was all that was good and right and as such, they loved her unconditionally.

Here on the ground, Rease sighed quietly in happiness.

He slid down the bed, shifting his sleeping Conduit until she was settled on his chest. She wiggled restlessly as he moved her, muttering nonsense in a whiny voice that he was hard pressed to ignore, afraid that he would wake her if he started to laugh. Once he was settled with her head on his chest, he slid his arm around her to rub her back, hearing the happy little noises she made even in her sleep. She wiggled even closer, softly grunting as she rooted her face into his neck and once again, it was all he could do not to start laughing. So instead, he shut his eyes, feeling the smile he couldn’t fight break across his face as he started to relax.

Eventually, he slept.

More than satisfied with his new rooms, Jonas decided to check on his daughter.

Walking down the long hall, he knocked on the door Adisa had indicated earlier was hers. When there was no answer, he entered to see the bedroom door open. When he peeked his head in, it was to see Lira curled up asleep next to Rease, or as Jonas still sometimes thought of him, the Human Wrecking Ball. Her dog Night, who had earned the mental moniker of Demon Dog from Jonas around the same time Rease had gotten his nickname and for largely the same reason, watched him calmly from his plush mat on the floor at the foot of the bed. Their two kittens were sprawled on the bed with them and they blinked at him sleepily as he stood there. Jonas paused for a moment as he took in the room itself, realizing that he had never seen a bed that big before, nor one even remotely like it. He looked at it for a moment in surprise before refocusing on why he was there, even as they remained sleeping.

He backed out of the doorway, deciding to let them be.

He had lost most of his reservations against Rease in the last few months. The kid had continually surprised him in the best ways in regard to his daughter, making it hard to remain disapproving, even though Rease had his share of problems. While on the ship, Rease had handled Lira with the patience and compassion of a professional nurse. In contrast, Jonas had scrambled for the door the minute she had looked queasy, grateful that he now could avoid such unpleasantness because Rease would take care of her.

The level of tolerance and open affection he had witnessed in Rease, even as his daughter had wept and narrowly avoided puking on him more than once, had only confirmed to him that perhaps his daughter was right to fight so hard for the chance at a romantic relationship with this particular young man. Of course, had this particular young man been normal, then he could have turned her Guardianship over to another, contenting himself merely with romantic involvement with Lira, sparing them all from fleeing the Western Marches with an army of enraged citizens on their trail.

But Rease was not exactly normal, Jonas knew.

No, the Human Wrecking Ball was rather like his daughter had titled him as her Wolf; something wild, territorial and potentially fatal to anyone who threatened him or what he perceived as his. And though it made Jonas feel queasy to some degree, there was no doubt that Rease considered Lira his. The likelihood that he would ever step down willingly as her Guardian to allow another man to take that place was so slim as to be inconceivable.

And even more distressing in some ways, Lira appeared to agree, refusing to stay in the Western Marches if she couldn’t be with Rease. She had said all the right things about not wanting to be controlled, about her right to be free, but Jonas sometimes wondered if they would all be here if she had developed an interest in some boy other than the one chosen to be her Guardian. But well aware of the irony in that he had become Lira’s mother Gwen’s Guardian precisely so that he could become involved with her, Jonas didn’t really feel like he could say much about his daughter’s choices in this specific case anymore. Oh, he had tried, but each time his little girl had shot him down hard. She knew that Rease had serious problems, but she didn’t seem to care at all, insisting that she would help him and refusing to consider any other option. At that point, Jonas had stopped protesting, especially when he had realized that everyone else around him approved of the two of them being together.

And the more he saw of how well Rease treated her, the easier it was to agree.

But she was not even eighteen yet, which made the whole thing rather murky in his mind. When he thought about it again now, as he did frequently, Jonas was not at all certain he liked her deciding that she had found true love quite so early in her life, no matter whom she chose. But then, to be fair, he always considered the alternative as well, where he would have to spend all his time shielding her from men who were interested in her only for the esteem of being with her and who would no doubt hurt and disappoint her each time she discovered that. When he considered it from the angle of Lira weeping on him, potentially for years at a time until she met someone who actually cared for her as herself and not just as Our Lady of Joy, perhaps the Wrecking Ball was a better choice, he thought again as he walked down the long hallway in search of everyone. At least Rease genuinely cared for her and was, if only in regard to Lira and other women, a gentle and kind man, so she’d cry less.

Hopefully, anyway.

As Jonas approached a doorway, he heard Red’s distinctive cackle. He stuck his head in to see Red and the rest of the men clustered around what appeared to be a bottle of whiskey on a low table in front of the couches where they sat.

Jonas, buddy, Red called, come have a drink with us.

Yes, come celebrate glorious landfall, Hawke joked. No longer serenaded by weeping and vomiting through the walls, I’m not sure how I’ll ever sleep.

Watch it, Mouse snapped, his tone low but sharp as a blade. She was sick. Show some respect. She still did Blessings to keep everyone else happy. You’ve no call to say something like that.

Hawke ducked his head in apology.

You’re right, he said quietly. I’m sorry. It was unkind of me to make a joke like that at her expense. And not at all funny. He looked up at Jonas. Is she feeling any better?

Well, she’s not puking or weeping and she appears to be sleeping quietly, Jonas replied with a wry grin to show Hawke that he was not offended, but with Lira, you never can tell.

Red cackled, slapping his knee.

She’s just like her daddy! he cried. Fun stuff just happens wherever they are!

Badger snorted, a loud, explosive sound of amusement before he started to laugh, which set Moose off, closely followed by Bull and Hawke. Underneath the booming of their laughter, Jonas could hear the soft but sincere chuckles of Mouse. A considered and quiet man with a truly remarkable skill for disappearing even in plain view, he had taken Lira’s admiration of his camouflage abilities to heart, it appeared. While Jonas doubted that Mouse would ever confess such a thing, the little man had also taken a proprietary interest in Lira’s welfare based on his earlier comment, Jonas knew. As he looked around at the men seated there, he realized that they all had. Somewhere along the way, his funny, overwhelmed and smart-mouthed daughter had earned the devotion of some of the hardest men he had ever known, he recognized now.

They are Our Lady’s Arm, a feminine voice said behind him, as you are her father and as the young one is her Wolf. It is as it should be.

Jonas turned around to see a tall, pretty black woman dressed in red and gold, her hair braided and wound in an intricate arrangement from which winked gold and the brighter flashes of gems. She had flawless skin so that he couldn’t even begin to guess her age. Rather, she looked ageless, beautiful and supremely confident as she stood there smiling at him.

Suddenly, he knew that this was the Queen.

Your majesty? he asked quietly, his voice making it clear he was not sure of the proper address more so than questioning her identity.

"Call me Ayaba, she said, nodding her head graciously. It is as I am called here."

Ayaba, I’m Jonas, he said, the other men standing as he made the introductions. This is Moose, Badger, Red, Bull, Mouse and Hawke.

Gentlemen, it is a pleasure, she said, her voice low and rich. Might you have another glass?

Moose rushed off to get another glass for her. The Queen watched him go, her face amused. When he came back, carefully handing her the glass after filling it, she looked at him and smiled warmly.

Your people are from the Southern Marches, she said, more a statement than a question as she took in his dark skin and features.

We emigrated when I was a baby, the man answered, his rumbling voice respectful. I don’t remember it at all.

Then perhaps you can rediscover the land of your birth while you are here, she said kindly. So that you will always know yourself with certainty no matter where you reside.

Moose looked startled, then pleased as he smiled at the Queen and ducked his head respectfully.

Thank you, Ayaba, he rumbled.

She smiled at him again, then turned to Jonas.

Adisa tells me that your daughter had a difficult journey here, she said, her expression sympathetic, and may not feel well enough to meet for a few days.

Jonas winced before he could stop himself, imagining Lira puking on the Queen if they didn’t wait.

I do apologize, Ayaba, he said quietly. She has had a difficult time of it lately and was not able to sleep well on the ship for being sick. I suspect she will catch up on her sleep for a few days and then she should feel much better.

Do not apologize, the Queen said gently, smiling graciously. There is no need for that. Adisa has told me of her troubles. The poor girl needs rest and quiet. There will be time enough for everything once she is awake and feeling better. Let her sleep until then. She sipped her whiskey and looked around at the men. Have you all found your accommodations to your liking?

Yes, thank you very much, Ayaba, Red said, his tone respectful. We appreciate it.

But I was told there was a woman, a gentle dove, Adisa told me, she said, her tone confused. Is she here as well? Might you know if she is pleased as well or if she might need anything?

I’m right here, Dove said quietly from the doorway. Thank you for asking. My chamber is lovely and I do appreciate it.

Wonderful, said the Queen warmly, smiling at Dove. I am glad to hear it. I can never be sure until the women weigh in, you understand.

She winked at Dove, then swallowed the last of the whiskey before rising, all the men standing in response.

Gentlemen, it was lovely to meet you. I am so pleased to have you here, she said, smiling at them. Once Our Lady is feeling better, we can plan something a little more formal to welcome you all. But in the meantime, if you need anything, simply ask a servant for Adisa or myself.

She moved away from the couch, watched by the men, to where Dove stood by the doorway. She smiled again at Dove, then sailed out of the room. For the longest time, no one said anything.

Now that’s a woman, Red finally said into the silence, his voice impressed.

You can say that again, rumbled Moose as he stared at the doorway the Queen had walked through.

Now that’s a woman, Dove repeated, her eyes narrow, her tone flinty.

Red winced. Sorry, Dove, he muttered.

Moose rumbled an apology, but Jonas watched as Dove’s eyes narrowed even more before she spun around and left the room. There was a moment of pained silence before Jonas spoke.

Thanks, guys, he said, irritated as he considered how it must have sounded to Dove. Nice going.

He headed for the door, intent on following Dove and explaining that he at least was not casting lecherous glances at the Queen.

I hear flowers work well, buddy, he heard Red cackle as he left the room.

Jonas grumbled under his breath as he spotted Dove at the end of the hallway. He followed her through a door that led outside, almost blinded once the sun hit his eyes with the heat immediately following. To his surprise, when his vision adjusted, Dove was standing right next to him. She had her face turned away and her arms were folded across her chest. He noted that she did not look pleased, even in limited profile.

I didn’t say or even think anything like that, he said softly, and since everyone else in that room thinks of themselves as your brothers, I don’t think you should let it bother you.

You don’t think that? she asked, her tone anxious as she tightened her arms around herself.

Dove, I do, but not about her, Jonas said quietly, moving slightly closer so his shoulder just touched hers. I think that about you. You know that. Nothing has changed about that.

She leaned her shoulder into his, sighing softly.

I wasn’t sure if you still felt like that, she admitted.

And what would have changed that? he asked gently, sliding an arm around her.

He felt her tense and he started to pull his arm back.

No, leave it, she rushed out as she leaned into him all at once, as though forcing herself despite her natural reaction to leap away. I just thought it was a new place, new people. I thought maybe new rules applied. She looked up at him, her face worried. I told you I don’t know how to do this, so I wasn’t sure what all this means.

It means that we’re here instead of there, Jonas whispered, dropping his head to kiss the top of hers. Hot instead of cold. That’s all that’s changed.

That’s all? she asked in a whisper. Nothing else has changed?

The only thing that’s changed for me is the geography, he assured her softly.

Hanna laid in her newest bed, a continent away from her family, quietly crying.

She had held herself together on the ship, knowing that if she started screaming and throwing things, everyone would soon know, especially Blake Weymine, the very reason for her tears. After weeks of careful plotting by pretending an interest in gardening, Hanna’s passion, Blake had manipulated her into dropping her guard and sleeping with him, despite the fact that she had been romantically involved with Bull at the time. But even worse, Blake had conned her into not just sharing her bed with him, she remembered now in fury, but telling him how she felt about him. Even knowing that she would never hold his interest for as long as she wanted to, she had still taken the chance because by then, she had enjoyed his company so greatly that she had wanted him to care just as much for her, even if only for a time.

But he hadn’t.

Clearly, since he had left the next morning before she had even woken up. No hasty morning goodbye, no note claiming an emergency. Nothing. He had just disappeared after leaving a note for his brother, Benjamin, only to reappear on the gangway as they had been leaving the Western Marches. They had even held the ship for him, courtesy of her father’s missive which had demanded such a thing without disclosing the identity of the mystery guest until he had arrived, she recalled now with fury. If her father were here now, Hanna thought resentfully, she’d slap him.

Hard.

So then Blake Weymine had boarded, the gangway had been pulled up and Hanna had been stuck with the man who had broken her heart without so much as a single regret. She had hidden in the cabin with Lira and Rease for the trip, preferring the smell of vomit and Lira’s understandable crying to having to see him again. As a result, she had not exchanged a single word with him since he had reappeared like a curse designed to ruin her life. She had avoided even looking at him, passing him the few times she had encountered him with her face averted.

Once she had heard him say her name softly, as if under his breath as she had passed. Before she had even thought about it, she had taken off like she was being pursued by a pack of Guardian Hounds intent on her death. She had burst into their cabin and slammed the door shut, leaning against it as she had sucked in enough air to fill her suddenly starved lungs.

She had only a single moment to realize that might have been a mistake when Rease had risen from the bunk next to a sleeping Lira. He had moved across the cabin viciously fast, in an almost predatory movement, until he had been right in front of her. His features had been tight, his eyes sharply focused and lit up in a way that had made her realize that he thought someone had threatened her. He had stared at her with that wild gaze for a moment before he had spoken, making her slightly nervous for reasons she couldn’t quite define even now.

What happened to scare you? he had asked quietly, pitching his voice to avoid waking Lira.

A mouse, Hanna had said quickly. It startled me.

Rease had continued to look at her, his face oddly blank and cold. He had not moved from his place in front of her, just continued to study her with that almost feral look on his face. It had been rather like being sized up by a wild animal, though in that case, the animal simply had been curious about her, she admitted to herself now.

Have I mentioned lately that I make a wonderful cat? Rease had asked softly. Just say the word and I’ll kill any mouse you point out. I can toss it overboard as soon as it’s dead. No one would be the wiser. Accidents at sea happen all the time.

Then he had smiled, all teeth and ugly excitement, like an animal about to bite.

I’ll never tell, he had crooned, his eyes bright. "You don’t even have to say yes. Just nod."

At that point, Hanna had started to understand why Jonas seemed so uneasy at times with his daughter being involved with Rease. While she had not been frightened of the way Rease had looked at her, recognizing that he was not upset with her but with whomever had bothered her, she had realized how disconcerting it must be to have that look focused on you. She had thought of him attacking Blake and had realized that she hated the idea that Rease might hurt him, let alone something far worse like what he was suggesting.

No, she had replied, her voice catching in panic at the idea, please don’t. You promised Lira not to hurt him. You can’t break your promise to her. It would upset her. I appreciate the offer, but please don’t hurt him. Please.

Rease had looked at her a moment longer, but by then he had looked like the man she knew again, his features relaxed and his eyes kind.

You don’t want me to hurt him either, do you? he had asked quietly.

No, she had admitted softly, I don’t.

Even after he hurt you? he had asked curiously.

Hanna had sighed. Even then, she had said sadly.

Do you love him? Rease had asked quietly, his tone curious and oddly childlike.

Bite your tongue, Rease.

I don’t want to talk about that, Hanna had replied, her tone waspish.

Oh, my apologies then, Rease had said quietly, pausing a moment before speaking again. I don’t mean to offend you and it’s not even related to you, but may I ask why someone might not want to talk about that? Could you explain it generally? Maybe? Please?

When he had been done speaking, he had looked at her like a hopeful child.

Is he serious?

"Rease, once you have that discussion, use that word, it changes everything, she had said tartly, astonished that he didn’t understand what seemed so evident to her. It implies a level of seriousness, of obligation, even a potential permanence, all of which can cause their own problems. It speeds everything up, all the way to the end."

As he had looked at her in bewilderment, she had decided to be brutally honest with him and tell him everything she knew about love. Despite her efforts to control herself, her voice had been ugly and had only grown more so with each word.

Telling someone that you love them is like jumping from a cliff, she had said harshly. Say that word and all you can do is fall. No matter what you think, you don’t have wings and no matter how you feel, you will never be able to fly. So you will fall. It’s inevitable. The only question left unanswered then is just how badly it will hurt when you finally hit the ground. But one thing you can trust is that it always hurts so much more than you ever thought it could.

Rease had looked at her with wide, wounded eyes.

But Hanna, that’s so cynical, he had said mournfully, blinking at her so sadly that she couldn’t even be angry with him anymore, no matter the topic.

No, Rease, it’s practical, she had replied with a shrug, feeling vaguely guilty for being so honest.

Do you think that’s how Lira feels? he had asked, his eyes wide, his voice hurt. That she can’t trust me because I’m just going to let her down and hurt her in the end?

Now I’ve frightened him.

It’s not fair that my problems become his. I need to explain this so he understands.

No, she doesn’t think you’re going to disappoint her, Hanna had replied softly. And she trusts you implicitly. She isn’t like me. You have to have your heart broken to feel like I do. As long as you don’t do that to her, she won’t become cynical like me. But I think she won’t say it for a different reason.

Why? he had asked, his voice so sad and quiet that it was almost a whisper.

She’s told me more than once that she would give you up to keep you safe as her Guardian if she had to, Rease, Hanna had replied softly, smiling gently at his anxious face. And if that happened, then the less she had said or done to make you two more than friends, the better. She was worried about how uncomfortable it might be and how that might make you request another Conduit, which would mean that she couldn’t keep you safe.

Oh, Rease had said, his face so very surprised that he looked like a little boy. That’s all right, then.

Hanna had looked at him for a moment and then smiled.

Rease, you shouldn’t worry about her feelings for you, she had said softly, whether she says it aloud or not. There is no question about how she feels.

There’s not? he had asked, his face so transparently hopeful that he had reminded her of her little brothers once again.

No, there is not, Hanna had said firmly but quietly. Everyone knows how she feels about you, Rease. She left behind an entire country for you. But she’s young. She has no experience with any of this. It’s a lot to get used to, especially with how tumultuous her life has been lately. Give her time and trust that even if she can’t say it to you yet, she does love you. Very much, I’d say.

Rease had smiled and nodded at her, happy as the little boy she had imagined him as once more. He had turned and gone right back to the bunk that he had been sharing with Lira to check on her. Hanna had collapsed into her own bunk, fighting tears as she had wondered when she would ever find someone who felt like that about her.

So while Rease had delightedly hovered over his sleeping Conduit, secure in her feelings for him, Hanna had laid in her lonely bunk, wanting nothing more than to start screaming and smashing things. But she hadn’t. She had endured her time on board with as much dignity as she could, determined to give Blake Weymine nothing else by which he could wound her.

What a fool she had been, Hanna thought now, tears sliding into her temples as she clenched her fists in frustrated rage. Lira had offered her this chance to come with them and she’d jumped at it, thinking it would put Blake an entire continent away. She could have all the time and distance she needed to forget him, to wipe the memory of the single night they had shared from her mind like chalk from slate.

Then, once that was gone from her brain, she could root out all the vile tendrils twining through her head, the memories of all the conversations they had shared during which she had been so delighted, thinking that she had found someone she could talk to, never knowing that he was storing it all away to use against her. She would tear out those thorny reminders and burn them to ash like an invasive species before she let them spread, she had vowed. She would do whatever was necessary to reclaim the garden of her mind until it was once again free of weeds and blooming as it should.

Without Blake Weymine as a gardener.

Then once he was gone from her mind and her heart, everything would be so much easier, Hanna had believed. So she had come with Lira to Isura Okun, only to find that he had, as well. When she had come up onto the deck and her eyes had adjusted to the bright light to see him standing there, she had thought she had been dreaming. She had felt a moment of such hope, such happiness that it had been crushing when her brain had finally kicked in to remind her that he was not there for her.

If he had been, he never would have left originally.

When she had realized that, she had turned around and gone back to the cabin, clenching her fists so hard that they had bled from the vicious dig of her own nails into the suddenly tender skin of her palms. She had done her best to stay there, telling herself she was keeping her sick friend company, ignoring the fact that even hearing his voice through the door was enough to make her flinch. So she had hidden for the entire voyage as best she could, staying in the cabin for what had felt like forever.

When it had been time to disembark, she had hurried past Blake, keeping her face averted the entire time. He had said nothing but she had felt him watching her. As she had passed him, she had lifted her chin higher unconsciously. Out of the corner of her eye, she had seen him smile as if amused.

It had made her want to push him overboard.

But she hadn’t. She had sailed past him and down the gangway as if he were a servant, right on Lira and Rease’s heels with Night, knowing that would deter him at least briefly. To her relief, he had continued leaning on the railing of the ship as though he were waiting for his brother, making no move to follow them. But she had felt his eyes on her surely as if he had been right behind her. They had climbed into one of the waiting carriages and at the palace, she had been shown to this lovely chamber, where she was currently weeping like a hysterical little girl. Even finding that her parents had sent ahead a letter of love and support did nothing to ease her pain.

Suddenly filled with fury as she thought again of Blake smiling at her as though he found her misery funny, she clenched her fists hard, feeling the sting in her palms as the barely healed skin split back open. Compared to what she felt when he looked at her, this felt good, she thought with a sudden burst of self-hatred as she clenched her fists harder, her nails feeling like daggers as they tore the abraded skin further. When she felt the stickiness that must be blood, she rose from the bed to wash her hands.

In the bath, she scrubbed her palms roughly, making them bleed more. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she didn’t even recognize the young woman looking back. That woman had swollen, red eyes still leaking tears as if she didn’t understand the futility of crying. She looked weak and heartbroken, Hanna thought, looking at her reflection with disgust, as though Blake Weymine had broken her, a Davies, down past what she could bear.

As she looked back at herself in the mirror, Hanna thought again of his smile, so close to a laugh, so much a reminder of the mockery he was no doubt holding for her. She shivered, pulling her gaze away from the pathetic creature looking back at her as she thought of when he might finally pounce, what he might say as he did. She thought of all the weapons she had given him with her artless confession of her feelings, the way she had handed him a quiver full of the sharpest arrows, all coated in such truths that it would be as poison, in which a single hit is fatal, no matter where it strikes.

I have lived through this before.

I can do it again if I have to.

I will not be broken by this. Or anything.

I’m better than that.

I’m strong enough to take anything this world can throw at me.

Hanna washed her face and patted her torn palms dry far more gently than she had scrubbed them. She would not let Blake Weymine reduce her any further, she decided as she left the bathchamber without looking at the mirror again. She would catch up on all the sleep she had missed due to Lira’s almost constant illness and once she felt more like herself, she would emerge to prove to him that he did not matter to her at all.

Certain that such a plan would suit her better than any she had considered yet, Hanna climbed into her bed, snuggling down into the soft bedding and refusing to think about how much nicer it would be if she were not alone. She closed her eyes, cleared her mind and thought only of some future garden she might create in which every plant chosen and placed was exactly as it should be.

Her perfect garden easing her way, Hanna was soon lulled into sleep.

Dove looked warily at Jonas, sitting next to her on the couch.

They had been standing outside in the bright, hot sun when he had asked if she liked where she was staying and she had offered to show him. So he had followed her down the endless hall that led to the bedchambers they had been given and into hers. It had not been easy to find at first, so many similar doors and halls that stretched on indefinitely as this place appeared to have, so that she had opened four different doors and even backtracked twice before she had found her new room. Once she had, Jonas had pointed out a notch in the wood trim so that she could find it again, helpfully enough.

But once he had been inside her new chamber, looking around with a smile, the sitting room had seemed to have suddenly shrunk to a room much smaller than it had been originally. At her nervous offer, he had sat down on the couch and she had sat down next to him slowly. Now, as if aware of how skittish she felt, he closed his eyes, dropping his head against the back of the couch.

I like your new couch, he mumbled, sounding very tired. It’s very soft.

He just had his arm around me outside and that was fine.

Why am I nervous now? What’s wrong with me?

I’m sorry, Dove blurted out. I don’t know what to do now.

You don’t have to do anything, Jonas replied softly, his eyes still closed. If you want to talk, we can talk. If you’d rather not, then I might nap like this if you wouldn’t be offended. It’s been a long trip.

Ask him.

Do you want to sleep on the bed with me, like we did when I stayed with you that night on the way to Southport? she asked before she could stop herself, thinking of how nice it had been that there had been no extra beds so she had shared one of the doubles with Jonas.

He had been so warm, she remembered now.

If you’d be fine, I’d like that, he said quietly, his eyes still shut.

I can do this.

Open your eyes, she said softly as she got up from the couch and held out her hand.

He smiled gently at her as he rose from the couch and took it. Dove squared her shoulders and marched into the bedchamber, pulling him along.

Dove, you don’t have to do this, he said quietly. I won’t be offended if this is too much.

No, I can do this, she muttered as she pushed him back onto the bed.

I have no doubt that you can, he said gently as he stretched out and closed his eyes, but that doesn’t mean that you should.

But I want to, she said sadly as she sat down next to him where he was lying on the bed. It’s just not anything I’m used to.

Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you? he asked, his eyes still closed.

You can let me tie you up, Dove muttered under her breath. That would help.

At her words, his eyes popped open. At the look of surprise on his face, she turned away. She had started to slide off the bed when Jonas spoke softly.

Dove, wait, he said gently.

What? she asked coldly.

You didn’t mind snuggling up to my back when we had to share the bed, he said softly. I’ll roll over and go to sleep like I did then. You can do whatever you want. Unless you want me to leave. I can do that, too, if you’d prefer it.

Dove shook her head in denial, but couldn’t quite bring herself to say anything else after the embarrassment of what she had blurted out. Jonas smiled gently at her.

So I’m going to roll over and take a nap, he said softly. "If you want me gone, just wake