Our Lady's Trials: Our Lady of Joy, #4

Chapter One

Lira was on the couch in her room in the Marches’ Chancellor’s mansion, utterly furious.

After being kidnapped from her family as they were residing in Isura Okun, a coastal country by the Gulf of Guinea on the continent of Africa, known here as the Southern Marches, Lira had been brought to the continent referred to as the Marches. As far as she could tell with her poor grasp of geography, that was Europe and she was now in France, across the English Channel from the country where she had been born, which was known here as the Western Marches.

Titled as Our Lady of Joy by the populace, Lira was an Emotion Conduit, one of only two born in this world’s history and valued for how their emotions caused physical reactions in the people around them. In that short list, she was the only one able to broadcast the more positive emotions, such as love and happiness. That meant she could collect, intensify and then share her feelings with the inhabitants of this world, a skill which made her uniquely valuable for her ability to influence the public through her positive emotions, which directly affected the country’s financial well-being and civic stability. While being so powerful might seem like a dream come true, Lira had found it to be far more like a nightmare.

Her current situation only supported that theory.

Each time someone had attempted to abduct her, she had been forced into the recognition that she was nothing more than a tool which could be used to calibrate the world. That they finally had succeeded had only made it harder to ignore that she was a commodity before she was a person here. By now, she understood that most people in this world just wanted to use her to improve their own lives at her expense and cared nothing for her personally.

This successful kidnapping attempt, which had led to her lying here quivering in anger, had only made it even more clear to her that, outside of her family, she was just a resource coveted by whichever nation didn’t currently have the advantage of using her for their benefit. Having been raised in the alternate reality in which she was a United States citizen and encouraged to believe in her independence by both culture and upbringing, Lira found this whole situation enraged her almost as much as it frightened her. Since she had arrived here more than two weeks ago and been turned over by the mercenaries, she had hidden in the luxury suite given to her as her own, sleeping as much as she could while she recovered from being seasick. When she was awake, she vacillated between despair and rage, damping those feelings into numbness only when she had to unlock the door to allow someone to bring her food.

Since she had arrived, she had spoken to no one, not even the girl she assumed was supposed to be her maid. When the girl knocked and entered to politely ask each afternoon if she would attend dinner that night with the Chancellor, the diplomat who had purchased her as if she were an animal, Lira had merely shaken her head in denial and pointed to the door, staying like that until the girl left again. If the girl did not move fast enough or anyone else attempted to convince her to leave her rooms, she simply walked away and locked herself in the bedroom until whoever it was left.

As angry as she was, they had stopped sending anyone but the maid to speak with her within forty-eight hours of her arrival. And since then, she had been spending most of her daylight hours working herself into a state of helpless, frenzied rage. So she was quite sure that her residency had proved extremely disappointing so far.

And she had every intention of making it worse.

Prior to her abduction, Lira had been romantically involved with her Guardian, Rease. Like all Guardians, Rease had been trained to protect and support a Conduit so that her paranormal skills, known as an affinity and most commonly affecting the elements such as earth, fire, air and water, could be best utilized to serve the country in which she resided. The partnership between Conduit and Guardian was governed by the Order of the Guardian Knights, the martial force of the Western Marches, more commonly known as the Order. Among the rules defining their interactions was one which specified that they have no romantic involvement. Since Conduits were always female and the majority of trained Guardians were male, such a rule prevented the younger, more timid Conduits from abuse or emotional turmoil within a relationship which was supposed to provide them with security and self-confidence.

But Lira had been dragged into this world with no understanding of the rules or cultural precedent. She had been abducted from the rented house she was sharing with her father in the United States and then brought to the Western Marches, where she found to her dismay that she was not at all the person she had thought. Oh, she was still herself all right, but that was the problem. Because squished in there with her personality was the Lady of Joy, a figure of enormous international value and interest, rather like her own internal celebrity, admired by all. But the problem was that Lira didn’t want to be a celebrity or even anyone important. She hated the attention and the expectations.

Most of all, she hated feeling like she was at risk of being manipulated all the time.

When she first had come into this world, she hadn’t even thought that it was real. Determining early on that what was happening to her was so unbelievable that it simply could not be true, she had spent her first day in this new world convinced that she was in a coma from a head injury having the most vivid dreams, because no other explanation had made any sense to her. So she had stopped worrying that it might be real and as a result, had gotten spectacularly drunk at dinner her very first night. Then, because what fun would a dream be if it had a cute boy and she didn’t kiss him, she had thrown herself at Rease, completely unaware that such a thing was forbidden.

That was the beginning of the end for her.

What followed had been a torturous comedy of errors as she had gotten to know Rease. He was the only child of her father’s close friend, Garris Whardon, who had been killed for helping her father Jonas and her mother Gwen, pregnant with her at the time, escape from the Order. Her mother had transferred her affinity into a necklace, making a link which would allow them to escape to a location prearranged by her old tutor, a Fire Conduit named Magda. When the Knights from the Order were closing in, she had ordered Jonas to take Lira, who was only a few weeks old, there. Unable to follow them between dimensions without a link and determined to keep the arriving Knights from discovering her infant daughter’s location, her mother had attacked them with a knife, causing her own death to end the trail and keep Lira and Jonas safe.

But such a thing was not to be.

That Gwen, a powerful Water Conduit and the mother of only the second Emotion Conduit born in history, would die from stab wounds while next to a river so wide that she could have used it to flood a city had intrigued the Lord High Commissioner, the single most powerful person in the Western Marches. At the time, Bridget Weymine had held the title and in her literally sociopathic quest for power and influence, she had killed almost thirty Conduits to steal their affinities, hoping to use them to track and retrieve Lira. But Gwen had been both powerful and naturally protective, so when she had transferred her affinity into her necklace to allow Jonas and Lira to reach Magda’s safe house, she had imbued it with the ability to hide Lira from notice, even from the Seers of her world, Conduits whose affinities were channeled into precognitive and psychic skills rather than manipulation of the elements or emotion.

So for seventeen years, until the necklace finally broke when all its power had been consumed, Lira had been a normal kid. Well, maybe not entirely normal, she admitted, since they had moved at least every year if not more frequently just in case and she had a rude, rather raunchy sense of humor that was frequently misinterpreted, among other personal failings. But on the scale of relativity, she had not been the complete freak she was here, she thought now.

Still, being Our Lady of Joy did bring some pretty snazzy benefits at points, she had to admit.

Like Rease, who was still the most adorable boy who had ever spoken to her to date in her entire life, let alone the other things he had done to her. After her first drunken kiss from him, Lira was head over heels. Once she had gotten to know him, learning that not only had he lost his father at five, but that his mother had been murdered by a jealous suitor just five years later while he had been locked in a wardrobe in the same room listening, she had realized that he had a lot of problems.

Big problems.

But by then, she didn’t care. By then, she had been determined that he was going to be hers forever and damn anyone and everyone who tried to keep them apart. When she thought about him, Lira felt like Rease belonged to her in an elemental way, surely as her dog Night did, bound to her through both love and duty. And she felt the same for him, as if she not only wished to keep him with her for the rest of his life for her own benefit but also because it was her duty as a good person to protect someone who had become so precious to her. And he had. He had become so unbelievably important to her that now, kept from him through force and deceit, she fell asleep each night crying.

It had been like that since the beginning.

Lira had never met anyone she liked as much as Rease in her entire life and even though she had been only seventeen when they had met less than a year ago, she couldn’t imagine that changing. So while still in the Western Marches, she had petitioned the Council, the ruling body made up of the heads of the most powerful and wealthy families who ran the country under the oversight of the Lord High Commissioner, for the right to be excluded from the Code of Conduct so they could be romantically involved without worrying about Rease being removed from his position as her Guardian. The Council had refused. Knowing that they did so because they wanted to replace Rease in her heart with one of their own puppets and through that, better control her, Lira had been infuriated.

So they had emigrated, which she had learned months later had started a civil war.

But at the time, she had only wanted to find a place where she could live in peace, helping Rease heal and being with him without the risk that he might be taken away from her. Having received an invitation from Adisa, the Queen’s Consort who had traveled to the Western Marches to bring Lira two exotic kittens and an offer for sanctuary, Lira and her entourage had returned with him to Isura Okun. Once they had arrived, it was clear that the Queen didn’t care if she and Rease were involved and actually even approved, pleased that Lira was happy and consequently, her country would benefit as a result.

Despite the kidnapping attempts caused by her flight from the Western Marches and which felt rather regular but still terrifying by the time this specific one had succeeded, she had loved living there in the palace with the group she considered her family. It was a rather large group, which included her father, who had followed her to this world with Magda’s aid, Rease, her dog Night and their kittens, Ayodele and Dayo, her friends Annabelle, Thomas and Hanna, her half-brother Benjamin, his brother Blake, her father’s girlfriend Dove and all his friends from the Harvester’s Gang, the criminal organization he had established before he became a Guardian. The gang, consisting of Red, Mouse, Bull, Hawke, Moose and Badger had become her adopted uncles and were known collectively as Our Lady’s Arm.

Now, she missed them all.

But even still, she missed Rease the most, so much so that it physically hurt.

As she had gotten to know him, Lira had discovered that Rease, for all his issues with violence against other men, was exactly the sort of boy she had always wanted to meet. With her, he was funny, sweet, unbelievably patient and very kind. If that weren’t enough, he was also intelligent, affectionate, loyal, open-minded and shared the same warped sense of humor she had.

That had been the most wonderful discovery for Lira, as then she could say the most outlandishly provocative and vulgar things to him without fear that he would be horrified or assume they were invitations when she had only meant them as jokes. He always thought her comments were hysterical and he never misunderstood, pushed her or made her feel threatened or worried about their physical relationship. Even better, he usually said something like that to her first, just to see her blush and giggle.

I miss him so much.

Lira had never been in love before and now, being separated from Rease, she was miserable. When she wasn’t miserable, she was furious, as she was now. Finally her life had been going well and as if that were simply not permitted by the laws of the universe, this had happened. She had a boyfriend, a dog, two kittens and a family larger than just her father for the first time in her life, all the things she had always wanted.

And then, in a single evening, it all had been torn away from her.

Thinking of it now, she felt the tears well in her eyes as she saw it all over again as if it were happening. The gasps and thuds as all the people she loved collapsed into their drugged food, leaving her the only one conscious. All because she didn’t like pork and preferred to eat her food one item at a time, so she hadn’t even finished eating her mashed yams when her life was over.

In the context of one side dish, she thought now, shifting back into fury, her life had been ruined.

She was furious and as always when she was angry, Lira desired nothing more than a target upon which she could express all her feelings of rage and the promise of vengeance. While Lira was Our Lady of Joy in this world, she had discovered that didn’t change who she was. She was still Lira, who did a pretty good job of holding to the philosophy of live and let live and tried not to be a complete jerk as she muddled through her life.

At least until someone messed with her.

Then Lira turned into a complete raging psycho, she thought darkly as she laid there, because Lira had a little issue with lines. She would lay them out and never even tell anyone where they were, but they were so far removed from how she herself would behave that she never questioned whether or not she had the right to draw those lines. She knew with complete moral certainty that she did.

No one had needed to teach her those things. From her earliest understanding, Lira simply knew them as essential truths that translated easily enough into something as simple as do unto others. And within that simple phrase, so much was contained: the right of all to be happy, to be free, to be unharmed by the cruelty of others, the obligation of all to bring their best, kindest self to the world, to help and heal, to love and respect, to accept and protect.

Like a grid imprinted on her soul in a factory somewhere far removed from something as petty as this specific life, Lira had lived with those lines her entire life. And if someone crossed one, the grid lit up like an early warning system and then up came the nastiest, dirtiest version of herself, the one who cared only to win at all costs and would absolutely die or kill for that right. Cross one of those lines and Lira became an animal, intent only on survival of the fittest as it fought for territory, resources and the simple right to live, regardless of the cost. Once the grid lit up, once that line of internal morality had been crossed, all bets were off.

Cross that line and there was no joy to be found in Our Lady. None at all.

Now, she was lying on the couch, shaking, her fists clenching as she tried to control herself and failed repeatedly. Outside in the hall, she could hear the sounds of fighting, as she had been hearing since her arrival. Someone started screaming, their words indistinct, but the tone of fury unmistakable. Then there was the sound of smashing and something heavy, like a body, hit her bolted door and slid down with a thump.

Before she could stop herself, Lira smiled.

Rease was lying in his bunk on the ship, staring at the ceiling in the dark.

Despite the small size of the bed and its currently crowded condition, Night was right next to him, snoring and grunting with his head on the pillow as if he were another person. Since Lira had been taken, Rease had slept with Night in the bed, preferring it to being alone and finding the dog’s silent company about the only kind he could tolerate much of the time. Their kittens, Ayodele and Dayo, were on the other side of him, Dayo by his feet and Ayodele by his hip. They had been less thrilled than Night at boarding the ship, but almost as if they had known that such a thing would bring them closer to the girl they all loved, they had settled relatively quickly once he had let them out of their travel crate. Since then, they had been unusually affectionate with Rease, snuggling close to him each night, as if aware of his misery.

But even still, the bed was horribly lonely.

Until Lira had come into his life, Rease had always slept alone in a room full of people from the time he was a child. After his mother’s murder, he had gone to live with his aunt, but when he had proved incapable of controlling his temper and began attacking adult men for no apparent reason, his aunt had contacted the Order to see if he could be accepted despite his young age. While the Order generally refused recruitment prior to the age of eighteen, they had accepted Rease at the tender age of ten on the Lord High Commissioner’s order.

So Rease had been placed on the road to becoming a professional soldier as a child, whether or not he wished for such a thing. While other boys his age had been playing with toy soldiers, Rease had been learning to control his temper by being matched with full-grown, trained warriors who had returned every hit he had given with twice as much force until he could no longer rise to attack. It had taken five years, but in the end, Rease had learned to control his temper unless provoked.

At least until Lira had arrived.

Then, once she had been there and he had been acting as her Guardian, it had seemed as if everything had been a provocation. Always isolated in the garrison for the reputation of instability his childhood had created, Rease had worked long and hard to ensure that even if he was not liked or desired as either a friend or romantic interest, he was at least respected. He had understood that his mother’s death had created something wild and ferocious in the landscape of his heart that he could not always control and that such a thing scared people. He had known that. So while he had not blamed them for treating him as a pariah on a personal level, he had been able to content himself that as Challenge Night Champion for several years running and the most highly ranked Guardian in the garrison, he was respected as a soldier among his peers.

All that had disappeared when Lira had arrived.

Confronted with this sweet, savage little girl who tangled her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, looked at him with wide, appreciative eyes as though she thought him wonderful and never seemed scared of him even when he snarled and glared at her, Rease had just fallen apart. Before he could stop himself, he had fixated on her like a dog on a bone and had guarded her almost as fiercely, seeing in her the possibility of the happy future he had never dared to hope for prior to meeting her.

What had followed had been Rease’s downfall as he had tried to understand what had been happening to him when he had lost complete control of the beast in the landscape of his heart numerous times. Fueled by jealousy and genuine pain at his perceived rejection by Lira, Rease had begun a very public unraveling that had only been stopped when she had stood up in front of the entire garrison and titled him in a dramatic display of ownership and approval. Known thereafter as Our Lady’s Wolf, Rease’s lack of self-control had been turned from a detriment into an asset of such value that Our Lady of Joy herself approved of it.

It had changed everything for him.

And it had only gotten better after that, as Lira had fled the Western Marches for him and in doing so, showed the entire world that she loved him enough that she would not consider giving him up. They had followed Adisa to Isura Okun and once there, had become even closer, so much so that without her now, Rease was miserable. He was not just in love with her, he realized now as he clenched his fists and listened to Night snore, but she was also his best friend. Without her to anchor him, he felt like he was adrift in the most treacherous seas he had ever experienced with the knowledge that the worst storms were still yet to come.

Everything had been perfect and then in one single evening, the girl who had saved him had been stolen from him. They had taken Lira, who brought light and warmth to the frigid wasteland of his heart. She had come into his life, healing him so that the beast had been turned into a beautiful wolf and the small boy, that part of Rease that had not grown since his mother had died and all the love in his life had disappeared as if it had never been, had grown into a young man with the potential to become the equal of the man on the ground some day.

She had healed him, proving that he could be, if not entirely normal, at least content and at peace with himself. It had been even better than he had thought, belonging to someone who loved him for the first time since his mother had died. Then suddenly, he was alone again.

His feral little princess had been stolen from him and nothing had been the same since.

Once she was gone, Rease again began the descent he had feared. When he had awoken to find himself alone in their huge bed, Jonas, Dove, Red and Hanna all peering at him in worry, he had lost control of himself completely. Knowing what the looks on their faces meant, he had started to bellow, trying to rise from the bed.

Still groggy, he had been slow enough that Jonas and Red had been able to pin him down while Hanna and Dove had rushed to the door and called for help. Since the response had included Moose and Badger, two immensely strong men, he had gone nowhere. That had not stopped him from trying, however. He had screamed and thrashed while they had held him down against his will, his chest burning as if he were being branded with a hot iron from the inside out.

She’s been abducted. Stolen from me.

I failed again. She is gone.

I am alone again.

And it had felt just like that, he remembered now in the dark, a great searing pain as he had realized that Lira had been taken from him. He had screamed and struggled, hearing Hanna and Dove weeping distantly, as if it were happening somewhere else. He had continued to fight against the hands holding him down, bellowing inarticulately as all his pain and rage had burst out of him in a torrent of noise that had made the men holding him wince.

Beneath them, Rease had continued to scream and thrash, his struggles slowing only when his muscles had begun to ache and his voice had been hoarse. When he had finally laid there completely still for a few minutes, they had released him. He had felt the men withdraw, but he had simply laid there as though dead because he hadn’t thought that he could move without breaking something deep inside. When Dove had put her hand on his shoulder and said his name in such a sad, sorrowful tone, he had lunged up into her arms, sobbing.

He hadn’t cared that everyone saw him crying like a baby in Dove’s arms. He had been so devastated, so wounded by the theft of Lira from his life that he didn’t care what anyone thought of him anymore at that moment. No one had seemed to think any less of him for it though, each of them touching his shoulder or murmuring to him in sympathy as they left, until he had been alone but for Dove and Jonas.

Jonas had settled next to Dove and slid his arms around both of them as if they were a real family, murmuring to Rease that they would get her back. That had helped, as Rease had listened to the immense, unwavering conviction in Jonas’ voice as he had cursed the Marcher pigs who had taken her and vowed to make them pay. Such vengeful thoughts had cheered him enough that he had been able to calm himself, though as soon as he had regained his composure, he had started to feel embarrassed by the excessively emotional nature of his outburst.

But when he had wiped his eyes and looked at Jonas, he had been surprised to see the other man looking at him lovingly, as though Rease were his own son. Further confirming that feeling, Jonas had leaned over and kissed him on the forehead as if he were a child before holding Rease’s face still as he had wiped the tears away. Rease had never been kissed or touched affectionately by another man since his father had died when he was five, so he had been surprised to find that it did not make him feel strange or uncomfortable to be comforted by Lira’s father.

Instead, the unmistakably paternal nature of it had made him start to cry again for no reason he could define, even to himself. It had just happened. He had thought of his own father, the pain of having nothing left in his memories of the man but a hazy impression and the tears had risen in his eyes, fast and thick. Embarrassed, Rease had tried to pull away.

But Jonas had refused to let him.

Shh, Jonas had murmured, as if he had understood. Your dad was one of my best friends. If things had been different, I would have known you your whole life and been just like another father to you, Rease. I regret that I missed that chance, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be there for you now. His voice had lowered, becoming kinder and softer. "We will get her back, Rease. Think about it. You know the Chancellor of the Marches has an outstanding contract. Everyone who’s come for us here has been working, directly or indirectly, for him. The Queen will probably be able to confirm that soon enough, but I’m certain that’s who is behind this. That’s got to be where she’s headed, so we will simply go get her. There’s no way he’s keeping my little girl. I don’t care who he is or what he paid. She’s my kid and we’re going to get her back."

His voice had shifted into a fierce glee, as if he knew something Rease did not.

If I could cross worlds to rescue her, Jonas had continued, a wild unrepentant grin on his face, I’ll be damned if a little ocean water is going to stop me now. We’ll steal her back and if they so much as made her cry, we’ll burn down the entire city around them.

As Rease had looked back at him in sudden interest, Dove had cleared her throat quietly so that they had both looked at her.

I do understand the masculine desire for revenge and general mayhem, she had said gently, "and I do recognize that, having invaded the Western Marches several hundred years ago to steal Our Lady of Sorrow and consequently occupied our country against her will, the Marches is not our friend. However, her voice had strengthened, even as it had still remained kind, I would also just like to point out that most of the city you’re burning down is innocent of any wrongdoing."

Killjoy.

As if on cue, both Jonas and Rease had scowled at her.

We know that, Jonas had muttered as Rease had grunted in agreement.

Dove had excused herself with an amused smile shortly after that, leaving Jonas behind. Jonas had helped cheer up Rease by detailing all the destructive, vindictive and culturally insensitive things they could do against the Marches in the process of rescuing Lira. Once he had been obviously cheered to some small degree, Jonas had turned serious once again, gruffly assuring him that he considered himself obligated to his friend Garris to keep an eye on Rease as if he were his own. Rease had felt some small thawing in the ice that had encased him since he had awoken and when Jonas had embraced him, he had hugged him back.

But now in the middle of the night, still more than a week from reaching the country which held his Conduit against her will, Rease felt the pain of it swamp him all over again. Even fighting didn’t help. Instead, it just worked to bleed off the worst of it like pus from an infected wound, so that he could sit silently through a meal without stabbing someone. But otherwise, it did nothing to improve his mood.

Thomas had come to his rescue once again, setting up a betting ring with the aid of the gang so that their journey was enlivened by Rease fist-fighting daily with anyone willing to enter the circle. The crew and soldiers escorting them, handpicked by the Queen herself to ensure safe delivery of this most precious cargo which included her eldest son Kayin, were quite willing to help Our Lady’s Wolf work off his anxiety while keeping up their skills at the same time. Since they approached it with such friendly enthusiasm, Rease had been able to keep it professional, beating on his opponents while behaving as a gentleman, not a wild animal.

But still, he felt like something was clawing its way out of his chest all the time.

Kayin had been a great friend, sharing a cabin with him and adapting rather easily to Rease’s instability by simply accepting it without judgement. The forthright, cheerful way Kayin had approached it had made it easier than Rease had thought to both have a friend and be the person he was. Like Lira, Kayin just accepted him as he was without concern and that had helped a little.

Thinking of that now, he listened for the sounds that would indicate his cabin mate was awake. When he could hear nothing but Night’s snores, he gently shifted the dog until he woke enough to stop snoring. Once Night was silent, Rease focused all his attention on the still air of the room, listening. Judging the noise of Kayin’s breathing was rapid enough that he was not sleeping, Rease spoke.

Having trouble sleeping? he asked quietly.

His voice was loud in the silent room and he heard Kayin startle.

How do you always know that? Kayin asked as if bewildered. Do you have some Seer blood in you or a family history of ghosts? If I wake up one night and your soul is floating outside your body and watching me, I am moving out.

Rease cracked up. When he was done laughing, he spoke again.

Thank you, he said quietly. You’ve been a good friend to me. I should have told you that before this. He paused, feeling awkward, but compelled to explain it as best he could. I know I’ve been, he paused again, difficult to be around. He was silent for a moment before speaking again. I just want you to know I appreciate everything.

I told you some time ago I consider you a brother, Kayin said just as solemnly in response. I did not lie. You are more than just my friend. You came with me to hunt the lion and saved my life. We are family now. It seems to me that the least I can do is help you rescue Lira.

And your mother wasn’t angry or worried that you wanted to come with us? Rease asked curiously, recalling how concerned the Queen had been when her oldest son had been injured by a lion before he had driven it off Kayin and then killed it.

Of course she was, Kayin said cheerfully, a grin evident in his voice. She is a mother. But I reminded her that I am an adult man and will not be told what to do by any woman.

Rease snorted in genuine amusement.

Was that before or after she hit you and you cried like a baby? he asked.

Kayin burst into laughter and Rease started to chuckle.

She never hits me, Kayin said between gasps of laughter. She just screams and makes me feel horribly guilty. Much more painful than being hit. Ask my father.

So what happened when she was done screaming? Rease asked, highly amused by that image.

I asked again, Kayin confessed shamelessly, glee evident in his voice. Then I went to my father and got him on my side. Then I agreed she could send a troop of the garrison’s best with me and I had to write regularly and never leave Jonas’ side in case I was injured again and only his medicine could save me. She screamed some more until I promised to hide behind someone more qualified if any fighting occurred, then she finally agreed.

So how does it feel to be your own man? Rease joked.

As Kayin laughed, he sobered.

I shouldn’t make jokes, he said quietly. I envy you. I was never happier than when Lira was fretting over me, even about the stupidest things, because it meant somebody cared about me. It had been so long since anyone worried about me that I had forgotten what it felt like.

Abruptly embarrassed by his candor, Rease felt silent. As if he knew, Kayin spoke.

It is good that you can be honest about such things, he said, his tone approving. My father always told me that honest emotion is the bravest place a man can stand and without it, there is nothing of true value or beauty in the world, only insincere shadows.

Your father is a wise man, Rease said softly, thinking of Adisa, an artist turned Queen’s Consort and a sincerely kind man. You’re lucky to have him. I like him very much.

He likes you quite a bit, too, Kayin said, his voice again cheerful as it usually was. He thinks you are a very honorable young man, he told me. Rease heard the shift as Kayin turned his head to look at him even though it was too dark to see. That is his highest compliment.

Then I am flattered by his esteem, Rease said softly. I think very highly of him, as well.

They were silent for a moment and in that brief time, Rease felt his mood dropping as if plunging from a cliff. Once again, as though he knew, Kayin spoke.

We will get her back, brother, he said softly. I swear it.

Suddenly unable to speak for the tears rising in his eyes, Rease grunted in agreement and laid there quietly until the slow, steady rasp of Kayin’s breathing told him that the other man was sleeping.

Then he slid an arm over Night, pressing his face into the dog’s neck as he silently started to cry.

Jonas stood on the deck of the ship next to Dove, Ibukun in his arms.

Ibukun, the little boy Lira had found in the city market in Isura Okun and subsequently brought home, had decided shortly after coming to live with them that he would be Jonas and Dove’s child. While not even Ibukun was aware of his exact age, they believed that he was somewhere around nine or ten, though he was still very small for his age and appeared much younger. An orphan who refused to be sent to the orphanage, Ibukun had been living on the streets for several years by the time he had approached Lira in the market.

Believing him to be much younger than his actual age, Lira had snatched him up and threatened anyone who had tried to talk sense into her, Jonas included. Then, once she had brought him home and evaluated what parenting involved, she’d come running to her father.

Jonas had turned into the kid’s primary babysitter, so much so that the boy had learned how to say Poppa and had addressed Jonas that way in his first unprompted use of their language, igniting something fiercely paternal and savagely protective deep within Jonas when he had. As if that weren’t enough, with Jonas’ encouragement, his new, terribly smart little son had immediately proved a loyal ally as he had addressed Dove, the woman Jonas loved and had been patiently courting for some time now, as Momma. Even better, she had liked it and he and Ibukun had spent every night in her bed since as Ibukun adjusted to life in a safe haven and Dove, a victim of sexual violence in her past, adjusted to Jonas.

That had been all it had taken. Those big pleading eyes watching him, that soft Poppa uttered in such a hopeful, sad tone and Jonas had been lost. Everything he had learned about his newest son after that was just icing on the sweetest cake he was once again eating, savoring a flavor he had thought lost to him, as distinctive and memorable for its meaning of family as wedding cake at nuptials.

Jonas had fallen for his newest son hard.

A man who would have filled his house with children had his life turned out differently and relished being a father to them, Jonas found that he had been given a second chance to know what it was like to raise a small child. While Lira was not his only biological child, as he had unknowingly conceived a child with Bridget Weymine, Lira’s brother Benjamin, back before he had even met Lira’s mother, Lira was the only one he had known in infancy. And as her early years had been spent against the backdrop of her mother’s death, their flight to a new world and his constant struggle to adapt to it, much of that had felt distant and fuzzy and still did even now when he tried to recall it. He had been deeply depressed for much of it, speaking very little and simply going through the motions of his life, feeling as if it were happening to someone else.

He had kept Lira safe and well when she was growing up, but still, all the little, brilliant moments of appreciating her childhood had been stolen from him by the fog which had taken years to lift. Once Ibukun had come and had Adisa translate his wish to be treated as a child from infancy again in a symbolic rebirth into his new family, Jonas had felt like he had been given back some essential part of his past. Now, he could enjoy it all and as he did, the memories of Lira, the moments he had thought he had lost, had come back in small flashes of image, sound and feeling as he cared for his newest child.

So while he acknowledged the fact that it was absurd that he was toting around a ten-year-old kid like an infant, no matter how small the child was or how young he looked, Jonas didn’t really care. He felt like this little boy had worn a permanent groove on his hip and still, he had no intention of putting him down anytime soon unless the kid wanted down. So far, Ibukun appeared to have no interest in being much older than a toddler and as a result, requested being carried by standing in front of his chosen beast of burden and holding his arms up while making a mournful face. Since the kid was adorable with huge, sad eyes and showed all the signs of being naturally shrewd, he almost never walked anywhere anymore.

Now, thinking of it, Jonas smiled down at his sweet little con-artist of a son.

Ibukun was a street kid, far older than his years, with the maturity to recognize that he would benefit enormously from establishing himself with his new family. Within twenty-four hours of entering the palace, he had wrapped all the adults around his little tiny fingers. The extended family that Lira had created had embraced one more gladly, with everyone welcoming this little child brought home by Our Lady into her family as if he had always been a part of it.

With the arrival of Ibukun, Jonas had simply added the boy to those he accepted as his own and for whom he made every effort to protect, support and encourage as a paternal figure. In addition to Lira and Benjamin, that circle had swelled to include Benjamin’s beau Nollen, his brother Blake, Lira’s Guardian Rease and her friend Hanna, the daughter of his friend Warren Davies, so one more had made no difference. Even better, he liked it, being surrounded by all these self-sufficient children who didn’t need anything from him but his attention, advice and affection. Even Ibukun was easy, as he fed, cleaned and dressed himself and always had.

So to his surprise and delight, Jonas had found that he enjoyed being a father to so many.

At least he had enjoyed it until he had lost Lira, the child who, he would admit if only to himself, was first in his heart for the history they shared, in which she was the only reason he had even gotten up in the morning for so many years. Having made her the lodestone of his life for so long, he didn’t know how to stop. When he finally came to after she had been taken, it had been the worst moment of his life since leaving Gwen behind on her own orders, knowing that she would die. He had left then to protect Lira. Gwen had screamed at him fiercely, tears in her eyes, telling him this was her choice and she commanded him to do this: as an order to her Guardian, as a request to the man she loved and most of all, as a plea to the father of her child. Finally, she had begged.

He’d left with Lira then and it had been like dying in some fundamental way.

It had taken years, but he had built himself back up from the ground, day by painful day, so when he had opened his eyes and known that Lira was gone from the expression on Red’s face, it had been that moment all over again. He had felt the Harvester, the killer in his heart born of his father’s abuse, wake suddenly then and he had surged off the table in a single, fluid gesture, his face hard and ugly.

When Red had simply continued to look at him in grief, he had understood the futility of anger and just like that, the numbness had descended.

That fog had wreathed him all through the preparations.

He had left the choice of ship, troops and crew to the Queen and Adisa in combination with Thomas, their logistical mastermind who had been named as Our Lady’s Warlord for his tactical and strategic mind, even though he himself was no soldier. Jonas trusted Thomas implicitly, so he had paid no mind as they had arranged everything for the most favorable outcome, Thomas’ brilliant mind filtering everything in relation to his role as the group’s keeper of information. If anyone in the group could be trusted to plan for all eventualities and achieve success, it was Thomas, he had known.

So he had done nothing but wait in numb, silent pain as they had prepared.

Jonas had stood on the docks with Adisa, watching the provisions being loaded, his hands full of papers which would provide them with every advantage the sovereign nation of Isura Okun could offer them in their new location: a huge, elegant townhouse owned by the Queen and used for diplomatic visits, access to the Queen’s accounts for expenses for whatever they might need, the loyalty and discretion of the handpicked staff who kept the house and would provide local contacts and finally, the secret locations in the house in which gems, coins, gold, jewelry and smaller pieces of art were hidden for emergencies in which immediate, untraceable bribery was required. By then, the Queen had become quite fond of their little group. If she offered them all she had from a mix of both affection and guilt, it didn’t really matter.

The reasons were nowhere near as important as the support.

After giving her eldest son Kayin antibiotics when he had been mauled on the lion hunt, Jonas had taken a chance, offering the Queen all the medical knowledge he had brought with him to this world, which included specific and detailed enough information that they were already making penicillin. Reasoning that they could easily use it to become an international power through their medical contributions to the world and everyone would benefit, he had offered it with no expectations. To his delight, the Queen had promised to build her own army of healers, so that when the prophesied war came, the people of the Western Marches would have the best medical care this world could offer.

Jonas had felt it was a fair trade, especially considering the benefit to the populace at large any time medical advancements were made. But the Queen had clearly felt an enormous debt of gratitude mixed with that guilt, doing everything in her power to help them and making it clear that she would continue to do so as long as they had need of her. So Jonas had felt an obligation to at least try to pretend he was all right, even if he had doubted that he had been fooling anyone.

Iranti is to come with you, Adisa had said quietly as they had watched the sailors.

The Seer? Jonas had said in confusion. Why? Do you think she will help?

Adisa had smiled as if he could not stop himself, a quick, secret smile like something funny had occurred to him.

Yes, he had said simply. She has said Our Lady will come back to you. That is good, but you may benefit from what else she can learn, especially once you arrive. Perhaps she may learn more specifics that may help you.

Hearing something in the man’s voice, Jonas had looked at him.

What aren’t you telling me? he had asked quietly.

Adisa had given him that same enigmatic smile again, his expression amused.

She will be of use to you, he had said reassuringly. I promise she will demonstrate her worth, Jonas. She is very good, especially considering her age. Thirty is very young for a Seer, so for her to be this skilled at her age is remarkable. Kept content, she is extremely valuable as her natural curiosity compels her to think about all kinds of things.

Like what? Jonas had asked, interested despite himself.

Adisa had looked at him for a moment, almost blankly, as if thinking. He had suddenly snorted in amusement, clearly remembering something. Then he had continued to speak.

Shortly after you arrived, he had said quietly, I came to speak with my Queen when she was there. I had a tube of paint that I had put down, having forgotten that I was even carrying it. In the process of giving us privacy to speak, she examined the paint. I thought nothing of it.

Adisa had glanced at Jonas as they had watched the sailors.

The next day, she came to my studio, he had continued, and announced that I should seek the vendor immediately, buy all he had of that shade and speak with the man of my appreciation for it as I would have need of it. So I did, even as I scoffed in my head at such a thing. But still, I bought all he had in stock. The vendor told me he had planned to stop making it, thinking it unpopular. He claimed that once he retired a shade, he never used those exact proportions of pigment ever again, believing it bad luck.

Adisa had turned from watching the sailors, looking at Jonas, holding his gaze this time.

It could not be an accident that I later required that exact shade, he had said softly, and in such an amount that even what I had bought was not enough. Had I ignored her, reasoning that I myself did not even know yet what I needed, that painting would still sit, unfinished in my studio, waiting for something I could not define, let alone know as lost. Instead, it sits crated in the hold for Rease to hang once you arrive.

Jonas had looked at Adisa, feeling something like hope as he had thought about it.

That can’t be coincidence. Not with a Seer involved.

Not in this world.

That was the painting? Jonas had asked in surprise, thinking of the painting of Lira, Rease and Night which the other man had given Rease for his birthday.

Yes, Adisa had said simply.

Huh, Jonas had grunted. That’s something to think about. But still, doesn’t the Queen want her here, doing her job instead of running around with us?

Adisa had again turned to look at Jonas, smiling.

Let me be frank, Jonas, he had said cheerfully, reminding Jonas in that moment of his son, Kayin. Currently, the Queen has two highly skilled Seers and really only needs one for the welfare of her kingdom. At the same time, her eldest child is contemplating venturing out into the world, far from her protection for the first time in his life, a thought which would cause any mother a great deal of anxiety, let alone one in the emotional state she is currently in. She believes this a practical solution, so you have to take Iranti, especially if you’re taking Kayin. She’s there, not unlike the troops, to keep all of you as safe as possible. If you try to leave her behind, the Queen will be, he had grinned suddenly at Jonas, "displeased with me long after you’re safely away. Then, she will fret over our son’s safety even more. I will be forced to listen. He had chuckled. Be a friend, Jonas, please. Take the Seer."

So Jonas had agreed in good humor and they had prepared as best they could. It had taken almost two weeks to get everything ready, time that Jonas had begrudged even as he had understood that made no difference. If they were to rescue Lira, they needed to be prepared, with adequate numbers of trained soldiers to keep them safe if they had to run and a ship fast and able enough that when crewed by experts, it could outrun anything the Marches Navy could produce.

The Queen herself had chosen the crew, striding down to the port, calling for her best and bravest. In consultation with her Guard, her Port Master, Adisa and Thomas, she had chosen the crew for both their loyalty and their skill, giving them charge of her fastest ship. Given lavish compensation and named as the flagship of the Prince’s Navy on their oaths to do all they could to return her firstborn child to her unharmed, the sailors were wildly excited about having elevated their fortunes with this chance to see the world under the mantle of royal protection.

Even more than that, they seemed struck with the historical context of it all and their chance to play a role in a grand adventure unlike anything they had ever seen in person before, let alone been honored to join. They had been enthusiastic and completely certain of success, as had the soldiers, who were given the same incentives with an official title as the Prince’s Guard. To his surprise, Jonas had found that the confidence of these complete strangers had helped enough that he had been able to pull himself together as he had done when Lira had been taken the first time. He had put all his energy into the idea that they would rescue her and since then, he had thought of little else, even as he continued trying to be the man he wanted and needed to be with everyone still left behind.

Thinking of that now, he shifted Ibukun in his arms and smiled at Dove.

Less than a week now, they estimate, he said quietly.

Dove let out a loud exhale, sounding sad.

Good, she said softly, leaning into him. I’m hoping landfall will improve Rease’s mood.

I know, he replied with a grimace. I thought just Lira fell apart when they were separated. I didn’t realize that it was mutual and that he would be just as much a handful, but violent on top of it.

Then you weren’t paying attention, Dove gently scolded him. And he’s doing as well as can be expected. Her voice softened. He hasn’t hurt anyone. He’s just not feeling very friendly.

"Not feeling very friendly? Jonas questioned. Dove, I know you love Rease and I do, too, but the way he sits there with that feral look on his face, staring at the meat platters on the table like he was the one who brought them down in the field with his bare hands worries me. He blew his breath out in frustration. He seemed so normal when he was with her in comparison to this. He looked at Dove in bewilderment. I don’t know what to do. I ask him all the time if he wants to talk, but he just shakes his head, grunts and walks away."

I’ve been sitting with him every day, but he won’t talk to me either, Dove said softly, her face sympathetic. He sits right next to me and will even lean on me, but he never says anything. She looked at Jonas, her face shifting into sadness. I don’t think he can. I think that’s the best he can do right now. He and Lira were always so physically affectionate with each other, almost like puppies or children. I bet he misses that intensely. I think sitting there silently may be as close to asking for help as he can get right now.

So I should just stop trying to talk to him and sit down near him instead? Jonas asked, his voice pained. Like he’s a wild animal I’m trying to tame?

Exactly like that, Dove said gently. Divorce it from the context that it’s insulting to compare such a thing to a person and think about what might be best for Rease. Her voice became kinder still. He’s a very intelligent boy. We know that. We know that he is capable of being the best kind of gentleman. We saw that with Lira. But right now, treating him like that isn’t helping him. So instead of worrying about what it says about us or him, we need to do what works for him.

So sit down, shut up and see if he’ll accept that in lieu of conversation? Jonas asked sadly.

That’s pretty much it, Dove agreed, cupping his face with her hand and kissing him as Ibukun giggled. See if it works. If not, we’ll figure out something else for you to try.

Jonas dropped his forehead to hers, Ibukun snuggling closer as if to commiserate.

This is so hard, he whispered. I miss her so much and I’m so worried, Dove.

I know, she replied gently, kissing him again, this time on the cheek. I know you are, but we’re going to get her back and then everything will be just as wonderful as it was before.

I hope so, Jonas whispered, closing his eyes as they started to burn. God, I hope so.

Hanna watched sadly as Rease walked past her, a grunt the only sign that he even saw her.

She knew that he was miserable and so very angry about Lira being abducted that he couldn’t even talk to anyone right now. She understood completely, but it still harmed something deep within her each time the sweet, funny, articulate boy her friend loved grunted, snarled or stared at her with those disturbingly wild eyes. Hanna wasn’t afraid of Rease as much as she simply had accepted that he was best cultivated slightly differently from the rest of his species, like a single extraordinary cultivar among far more common ones.

Like Hanna had learned to provide the best environment for the plants she chose to grow in her garden, so she tried to do for the people in her life who mattered to her. And she cared for Rease. Not only because he was Lira’s beau and Lira had become like a sister to her, but because she genuinely liked him. Despite the troubles he had, something about Rease always reminded her of her two little brothers, Oliver and Neville. Like them, he had a sweet, little-boy charm that came out when he felt safe, which was only around Lira, apparently.

That depressing fact had become abundantly clear once she was gone.

Hanna, who had counted herself their closest friend, had been depressed to see that Rease wanted nothing to do with her now. Despite all the times they had talked, with