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The Purpose: Essential Qualities to Inspire and Achieve the Purpose of Your Life!
The Purpose: Essential Qualities to Inspire and Achieve the Purpose of Your Life!
The Purpose: Essential Qualities to Inspire and Achieve the Purpose of Your Life!
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The Purpose: Essential Qualities to Inspire and Achieve the Purpose of Your Life!

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Abraham Day has taken his many years of experience with people young and old, students and parents, community stake-holders, the disenfranchised and the empowered, and put those experiences in perspective. His experience has allowed him to meet amazing teachers, administrators, students, parents, and all people who have an effect on human development. During his tenure, Abraham noticed Best Practices that were consistently observed in so many of the teachers, administrators, parents, and children that he had worked with during his teaching experience in Camden, New Jersey. These are the nine qualities he addresses in the The Purpose: Empathy, Courage, Wisdom, Respect, Love, Citizenship, Humanities, Leadership, and Humor.

Abraham has included in this book a process of best practices .....and you'll be inspired as you read... as you will find the inspiration necessary to change and improve your life, and achieve the purpose in your life!
LanguageEnglish
PublisherBookBaby
Release dateNov 17, 2017
ISBN9781543914252
The Purpose: Essential Qualities to Inspire and Achieve the Purpose of Your Life!

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    Book preview

    The Purpose - Abraham Day

    achieved!

    Chapter 1: Empathy

    Empathy is the ability to absorb and find the emotions and feelings of others in you.

    The term ‘empathy’ is often defined as the ability to put yourself in the shoes of others and develop a perspective from their point of view. However, the phenomenon is not that simple, concise or ordinary. Empathy is not just about feeling, perceiving and understanding the feelings of others. Neither is it simply understanding them in the same manner as another person would. However, it is the definition and idea of empathy in its limited scope.

    In the broader scope, empathy is about taking the feelings and emotions of others and responding to them in a way that makes the other party feel that they are heard and cared for.

    To develop a more elaborate and deeper understanding of the phenomenon, contemporary researchers of psychology have described two main facets of empathy. The first type ‘Affective Empathy’ is our responses and the instant outburst of emotions and actions that we demonstrate in response to feelings, emotions, actions or experiences of others.

    For instance, if we are present in the company of a person giving away signs of fear, anxiety or terror, we are likely to mirror and reflect the same feelings. This is affective empathy, where you feel and sense the emotion of another person and you start reflecting it in your behaviors.

    The second type of empathy is cognitive empathy which is also known as ‘perspective taking’. This is our ability to develop a more elaborate understanding of a person’s feelings and behaviors in retrospect of the factors that might have contributed or influenced them in behaving in a certain way.

    All in all, empathy is your ultimate capacity to feel, sense and detect the energy, aura and emotional vibes of another individual. This experience will allow you to feel the same way another person is feeling in a situation or about some related experiences.

    Empathy has been classified as an innate behavioral trait. This inborn trait flourishes and manifest when one continually seeks to associate themselves with the people who are present around them. When you constantly try to weigh the actions, behaviors, feelings, and sentiments of people around you on the parameter of a cognitive rationale, your perceptions, responses, and reactions become more logical, appropriate and justified.

    As your empathy fosters and strengthens, it improves your level of sensitivity and maturity. Even in situations where a person’s behavior is unpleasant and directed at you, as opposed to being angered, dejected or gloomed, your empathy will help you understand the situation from that person’s perspectives, and analyze why they are behaving in a certain way. Empathy grows with experiences and brings about a gradual yet significant change in your degree of sensitivity and understanding. It also increases your level of maturity.

    To develop and cultivate an empathic approach to nurture and channelize your own behaviors, responses and perceptions for the benefit of others, you need to connect yourself with the elements and attributes of your surroundings. Empathy can be developed and cultivated through several ways and mediums. For instance, by adopting an active listening approach, and by expressing interest in what a person might say, you can make them feel heard and acquire a more in-depth apprehension of their feelings.

    Empathy also improves when you seek to find a common ground or a mutually shared attribute. Finding a shared identity between you and a person or group that is completely different from you allows you to establish a gateway through which you can get to perceive and understand their ideas and thought processes. It is also important to note that empathy does not require the physical presence of a person or the real-time occurrence of a situation or incident.

    Empathy is one of the prime attributes of morality. It keeps you oriented towards the notion of values, morality and humanity. It forms the basis of successful, meaningful and promising relationships with your family, friends, peers and associates. It strengthens and enhances the level of comfort in interacting with people, fosters trust, and provides you an insight about their needs, expectations, and interests.

    On a higher note, as your empathy develops with your encounters of situations and experiences, it also helps you with the ability to predict how a person will respond in a situation. This understanding supported with empathy will enable you to navigate situations with a better outcome.

    During the pursuit of your purpose, empathy can provide you an added advantage to reconcile, test, and evaluate a situation using multiple strategies. Subsequently, you can implement the most appropriate, logical, and justified response to resolve the issue.

    However, despite being a fine quality, empathy itself is sometimes perceived as a weakness.

    Sometimes caring about others and feeling the pain and suffering of others often affects our own behaviors, situational biases, and response mechanism in certain situations. Empathy and feelings of love and understanding for others may often compel us to make decisions that favor the interest of the other person more than our own interest. Therefore, while trying to perceive a situation by standing in the other person’s shoes, we must not negate, deject, or suppress our own emotions and interest.

    Furthermore, being empathic towards a person or a group that does not have an understating of emotions and responses could translate into your empathy being misperceived as a passive behavior. The adage of taking kindness for weakness might put your selfless and logical understanding at risk. In situations where your empathy is subject to doubtfulness, perseverance and compassion must rise as motivation to prevail. Empathy is neither selflessness nor a passive behavior. It is a great personality trait that keeps you connected to the environment and to the people. It enables you to make decisions and respond in ways that are mutually beneficial for everyone.

    While empathy and sympathy are limited to the feelings of others, compassion goes the extra mile and includes the element of action and response. Sympathy is about expressing your commiseration towards the adversity of a loss, and empathy is about delving into that pain, loss, or suffering and feeling it for yourself.

    Each day we are given the opportunity to ignite our passion and inspire our vision. It is with each passing day, we strive to pursue our dreams. And being a committed and dedicated traveler of the journey in pursuit of our purpose, we need empathy to ensure that we care for those around us and do not become selfish and indulged in personal gains. Empathy might not be the most fundamental and essential element we need in the pursuit of our purpose, but, it has its own significance. And it is only when we experience an empathic affinity towards others that we realize why it is significant.

    Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional Intelligence, has identified five key elements of empathy.

    Understanding Others

    Developing Others

    Possessing a Service Orientation

    Leveraging Diversity

    Political Awareness

    Understanding Others

    The first attribute of empathy is to develop an elaborate understanding of the other person’s perceptions, view things from their perspective and consider their issues and concerns as if they were your own. Goleman believes that people who possess an empathic affinity towards becoming highly sensitive to the emotional triggers and involuntary behavioral responses of others can express more empathy.

    Empathic people are active listeners. But what allows them access to the actual knowledge about the feelings and perceptions of others is their ability to look beyond what is visibly evident, and listen beyond what is being shared. By catching the emotional cues reflected from the other individuals, and closely observing the unconscious and subconscious responses, an empathic individual can illustrate a perception and view the situation from the other person’s perspective. It’s like stepping into someone else’s shoes.

    For most people, empathy comes naturally. They don’t have to struggle to develop their understanding of other people’s perspectives. While, there are numerous others who must acquire and develop their skills just so they can view the world as other people do.

    Just like too much of something can be harmful, having intense feelings of empathy can make people sensitive. They expose themselves to raw emotion, which eventually makes them want to change the world around them. To be honest, not many people can bring about this change and as they gradually realize this harsh reality, the meaning of life changes for them. Lacking the ability to change the world can force these people to deliberately turn away from empathy. Without the support of people around them, these people have no choice but to give up on being empathetic, if they don’t want to go through the same mental turmoil every day.

    Developing Others

    The second attribute of empathy is to help others in their needs, and personal development. Developing others does not essentially mean making people dependent and reliant on you, or offer them to look up to you to address their needs or resolve their issues.

    It means that being able to perceive a situation from another viewpoint, you develop an understanding of the other person’s situation. This understanding allows you to come up with your own solutions for the problem and assist and guide people throughout the process of solution and resolution of the issue.

    Possessing a Service Orientation

    This element of empathy can be attributed more towards the business or professional aspects of a person’s life by being able to understand the needs and expectations of people and seek the most appropriate ways to fulfill their needs. This will meet their expectations and deliver them not just a product or service but great value and experience in life.

    In the realm, outside of the occupational world, possessing a service orientation may refer to possessing a charitable attitude towards people in need or those who are looking for some help and assistance. It means having a desire to serve people and utilizing all possible strengths, resources, and abilities for the welfare and benefit of people in need or those deserving your help.

    Leveraging Diversity

    This attribute broadens

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