School of Murder: Moose River Mysteries, #8

ONE

R emind me why we all are on this dumb trip again? Will said from the backseat.

It's not dumb, Emily said. She was in the seat next to him, her phone in her hand. It might be where I go to college.

Why would I care where you go to college? he asked, as if it was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard.

So you know where to come visit me? she said with the same tone he'd used. Duh.

Yeah, duh, Grace said, tossing him an annoyed look over her shoulder, trying to sound just like her older sister.

Yeah, duh, Sophie repeated, throwing the same look at him. It was a chorus of triplet girls, all reprimanding their brother

He made a face, his blond bangs falling in his eyes, and jammed his ear bud back into his ear. Like I'm gonna come visit you. I can't wait for you to move out so I don't have to even think about you anymore.

All three girls rolled their eyes and did the same with their own ear buds.

I glanced in the rearview mirror at them and shook my head.

Let's all go, she said, Jake murmured from behind the steering wheel. It'll be like a family vacation, she said.

I smacked his arm. Stop it.

He chuckled and kept his eyes on the road.

We were headed north, just past St. Cloud, veering due east on our way to Northwoods University, one of the schools on Emily's List of Colleges I Might Want to Attend. She'd actually titled the list just like that and insisted that we get to all of the schools in the fall of her senior year so that she could whittle her list down to College I Will Attend, which she wanted to have decided by Thanksgiving. We'd already been to the University of Minnesota and several smaller colleges down in the cities. Now, we were headed about two and a half hours north of Moose River to look at a mid-sized university near the shores of Lake Superior and the Wisconsin border.

Most of the other colleges offered single-day visits, consisting of half-day seminars that included a brief admissions presentation and a tour of the campus. But Northwoods University did things differently.

Northwoods University offered a visitation weekend where the entire family of the prospective student could come and visit, with activities offered for the whole family. It happened to fall on a weekend when we didn't have seven hundred things scheduled and I did think it would be a bit like a quick family vacation if we could take everyone with us. So we'd packed up the minivan to go explore Northwoods University.

Will, however, didn't understand why he was being forced to come along. He'd argued that he was perfectly content and capable of staying home alone by himself for the weekend, and since he'd already made up his mind that he'd be going to the U of M in a couple of years, he had no need to see Dumb Northwoods College, or whatever it's called. He also contended that he didn't want to miss a day of work. He'd recently gotten hired at the local Bullseye and was saving for a car, peppering us with questions about cars every single day since receiving his first paycheck.

I’d countered all of that with a very nuanced, very detailed argument of, No. You're coming with and I don't care what you want to do, and yes I can make you because I'm your mother.

So I knew we were in for a weekend of whining.

Hey, Mom, Grace said, removing her ear bud again.

I glanced back at her. She’d grown up quite a bit over the summer, and at eleven, was caring more about her appearance with each passing day. Having two older sisters was probably expediting the maturation process. Her long brown hair was perfectly brushed, and I thought she might be wearing mascara.

Are we gonna get to see the gym?

The gym? I'd assume so. Why?

Sophie and I need to work on our moves, she said, elbowing Sophie. We can't go a whole weekend without working on our moves.

Oh, yeah, Sophie said, realizing what Grace was talking about. She adjusted her glasses and smiled. We have to get some practice in. Master Lindblad said so.

The two younger girls had recently started taking Mixed Martial Arts classes at a local gym. Jake had suggested it as a way for Grace to work out her seemingly endless hostility toward the world and as a way for Sophie to gain some self-confidence. I'd been reluctant, but they'd both taken to it so well that we were now taking them twice a week for their lessons and workouts. They were regularly rolling around on the floor of their bedroom and I could never tell if they were actually fighting or just practicing.

We'll see if we can find a place for you two to work out, I promised.

They high-fived and went back to listening to whatever they were listening to on their respective phones.

I don't know that there will be a place for that, Emily said.

It's fine, I told her, making eye contact with her in the mirror. We'll figure it out.

They're probably using the gym for activities, she continued, as if she hadn't even heard me. Her eyes were still glued to her phone, her thumbs poised above the screen. They weren’t moving, though, so at least she wasn’t texting and trying to have a conversation with me at the same time. Which means there wouldn't be a place for them to do their wrestling thing. Plus, they could get hurt, and I don't think the school would want that. And also if they got hurt, that might make me look bad, like we didn't care about the rules or something, and might make them not admit me if I decide I want to go there. You know what I mean?

Jake’s eyes shifted from the road to me, a look of incredulity on his face.

Don't engage, I whispered to him. Then louder, I said, We'll figure it out. It will be fine.

Emily squinted at me for a moment, her blue eyes narrowed, before brushing her hair behind her ears and returning her attention to her phone.

She's nervous, I said, lowering my voice. There's going to be a lot of those kinds of ramblings in the next 48 hours. Be prepared.

I'm never prepared for them, Jake said, his hands on the wheel. I'll defer to you.

You really think them doing their throat punches and chokeholds and crap would keep you from going to school at this place? Will said, having caught wind of her concerns despite having his ear buds in. Are you actually serious?

We don't do throat punches, Grace said.

Yeah, those are illegal, Sophie added.

How can they all hear one another with the headphones in? Jake asked, voicing the very question running through my mind.

It's some sort of mutative skill that kids nowadays have, I said, and then winced, because that kind of comment made me sound as old as I actually was.

Yes! Emily said. She whirled around to face her brother. They literally might block my admission! Because it could cost them, like, money or something to fix their broken legs or arms or whatever they got hurt while they were doing their karate!

Mixed Martial Arts! the two younger girls shouted.

Whatever! Emily barked. You can't do your fighting stuff because then I might not get into college!

Will rolled his eyes and shook his head. You might not get in, but only because you're partially insane.

Let's all go, she said, Jake repeated. It'll be like a family vacation, she said.

I glared at my husband. Be quiet or I will throat punch you.

TWO

O h, yeah, Emily said , staring out the window. I forgot to tell you. It's going to be totally inappropriate. The girls probably shouldn't look.

Cool, Will said.

The girls leaned closer to their respective windows.

We'd arrived in the city of Northwoods and my phone had routed us onto the main road that led to the university. That road was lined with the sorority and fraternity houses, whose members were outside of their houses with barbecues and coolers and lots and lots of handmade signs, encouraging us to honk so they could drink. And do other things.

Jake tooted the horn and waved.

Ohmygod, Emily said, shrinking in her seat.

Will chuckled. Awesome.

The younger girls continued to gawk. Sophie’s forehead was practically glued to the window and Grace was craning her neck, trying to take everything in.

What are you doing? I said.

That one said for the hot dads to honk, he said. Just trying to be friendly.

Could we maybe not honk and just get to where we need to get to? I asked.

Sure thing, he said, grinning.

Look at that one, Will said. Honk if you want to get—

We see it! I said before he could read it out loud. We see it!

This is so great, Will said, his voice full of laughter. Maybe I will come here.

No! Emily cried. You can't come here! Especially not if I'm going here.

Just chill, he said. You probably won't even get in.

Mom! Did you hear him?

Yes, I said. Ignore him.

Ow! Will said. She hit me!

You deserved it, Jake said over his shoulder.

Students in maroon shirts began appearing on the street corner and waving us toward a massive parking lot near what looked like the football stadium. Families were already spilling out of parked cars, mostly parents and teens, but there were a few families with younger kids in tow. Jake got the minivan in a spot and we were immediately greeted by another student, also in maroon, who pointed us in the direction of the student union, a large, modern-looking building with an all-glass façade on its east-facing side. We walked up the sidewalk, the girls skipping ahead of us, following the path marked by welcome signs and maroon and black balloons.

Do you think I could take a balloon? Grace asked.

No, you can’t take a balloon, Emily told her. They don’t belong to you.

Grace fingered the ribbon of a bright maroon balloon. They probably wouldn’t even miss it. I couldn’t tell if she was seriously contemplating taking it or if she was just trying to rile up her sister.

Probably a little bit of both.

Leave it alone, I warned her.

She shot me a wicked grin and I shook my head. She knew how to push Emily’s buttons. They all did.

We made it inside the student union, where there was an entire arch of balloons for us to walk through. We stopped at the welcome station, a long row of tables where students and families checked in alphabetically, picked up our information packets, and were gently ushered toward another student positioned near the stairs.

A tall, good-looking kid with slicked back blond hair and broad shoulders smiled as we approached. You must be the Savage-Gardener family. You're the last ones on my list.

But hopefully first in your heart, Jake said. And, yes, that’s us.

Emily nudged me. Are we late? she whispered. He said we’re the last ones to get here.

No, we are not late.

Jake put a hand in the small of Emily's back and nudged her forward. This is Emily, your prospective student.

Hey, Emily, the boy said, offering his hand. I'm Axel Hansen.

She hesitated for just a second before shaking his outstretched hand. I'm Emily.

Yeah, think I got that already, Axel said, chuckling. He looked at each of us. Where are you guys coming from?

The parking lot? Will said.

Axel smiled at him, but some of the warmth withered away. Little bro's a funny guy.

Little bro? Will mumbled. I'm as tall as you, dude.

Moose River, I said, and made the rest of the introductions of the family members. Sophie was eyeing the boy with obvious interest and Grace was studying him intently. Probably trying to figure out if she could wrestle him to the floor with her new MMA skills.

Very cool, very cool, Axel said, nodding approvingly, seemingly oblivious to the younger girls’ attention. Well, we've got a super fun weekend planned for all of you. He winked at Emily. But especially for you, Emily.

She blushed.

I'm a junior here at Northwoods, Axel told us. This is my second year as a tour guide and I'm not embarrassed to say I'm currently the number one ranked guide at the school.

The tour guides are ranked here? Will asked, skepticism lacing his words.

Yeah, buddy, he said, nodding. We have a point system that we use. There are a lot of factors involved, like how many prospective students enroll after our tours, how many graduate, reviews that families fill out. That kind of thing. He smiled. And I'm number one. So you guys are pretty lucky.

Oh, yeah, Will said. Totally lucky.

I elbowed him and he yelped.

Do you have a gym? Grace asked, frowning. Sophie and I need to see the gym.

Yeah, Sophie said. We need to practice.

He patted Grace on the head. We'll get to that, I promise.

She swiped at his hand just as it left her head, scowling.

Axel turned his attention again to Emily. But I really wanna hear about what you want to see this weekend, Emily.

I'll bet he does, Will whispered.

I elbowed him again.

Oh, Emily stammered. I...um...well. I dunno. Just the basics, I guess. Like, the dorms and the classrooms and stuff.

Did you catch Greek Row on your way in? Axel asked, smiling. Pretty crazy stuff out there, right? We can totally check that out, too, if you want.

Um...I'm not really interested in that stuff, she said stiffly.

I saw Jake as he swallowed a chuckle. This might be the understatement of the weekend. Emily had zero interest in joining a sorority. And below zero interest in learning about any of the fraternities on