A Jewish Book of Comfort: Three thousand years of wisdom and experience

A Jewish Book of Comfort

Edited by

Rabbi Charles Middleburgh and Rabbi Andrew Goldstein

Illustrated by Mark Podwal

Copyright in this volume © Charles Middleburgh and Andrew Goldstein, 2014

Illustrations © Mark Podwal 2014

First published in 2014 by the Canterbury Press Norwich

Editorial office

3rd Floor, Invicta House,

108–114 Golden Lane,

London EC1Y 0TG, UK

Canterbury Press is an imprint of Hymns Ancient & Modern Ltd (a registered charity)

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Norfolk NR6 5DR, UK

www.canterburypress.co.uk

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, Canterbury Press.

The Authors have asserted their rights under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the Authors of this Work

Mark Podwal has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the Illustrator of this Work

British Library Cataloguing in Publication data

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

978 1 84825 721 4

Typeset by Regent Typesetting

Printed and bound by

Scandbook AB Sweden

Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction

1. The Pain of Life

2. Patience and Fortitude

3. Illness

4. Healing

5. Growing Older

6. Contemplating Mortality

7. Death and Dying

8. A Coda: Death Before Their Time

9. Grieving

10. Words of Comfort

11. Legacy

12. Gratitude

13. Memory

14. Coda 2: Painful Memories

15. Immortality and Life After Death

16. Faith and the Power of Prayer

Glossary

Sources

Copyright Acknowledgements

The Editors

Andrew Goldstein and Charles Middleburgh have collaborated on writing liturgies for almost thirty years and, in 2003, edited Machzor Ruach Chadashah, the High Holy Day prayer book for Liberal Judaism. Andrew is President of Liberal Judaism, Emeritus Rabbi of Northwood and Pinner Liberal Synagogue, and Rabbinic Advisor to the European Union for Progressive Judaism. Charles is the former Executive Director of Liberal Judaism, has served congregations in Britain, Ireland and continental Europe and is the Director of Studies at Leo Baeck College in London.

Acknowledgements

We are most grateful to Mark Podwal who created the artwork for our book.

Although Mark may have been best known initially for his drawings in The New York Times, he is the author and illustrator of numerous books. Most of these works – Podwal’s own as well as those he has illustrated for others – typically focus on Jewish legend, history and tradition. His art is represented in the collections of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and the Victoria and Albert Museum, among many others. Though living in New York he is a frequent visitor to Prague and has designed ritual fabrics for the Altneuschul and other synagogues. He recently opened, in Terezin, a major exhibition of his paintings and drawings on the persecution of the Jews. The drawings in this book are inspired by his attachment to Czech Jewry and Israel. The revival of the Jewish community in the Czech Republic should be a source of comfort to us all.

The images by Mark Podwal in our book include a range of Jewish symbols, e.g. the Torah Scroll, Seven-branched candelabrum, Hebrew Zodiac, Lion of Judah and the Ten Commandments; they celebrate the inspiration he gets from regular visits to the city of Prague, with its rich Jewish cultural and spiritual history.

The traditional greeting to mourners is ‘May God give you comfort, amongst the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem’. This is reflected in the cover image, the rose being a symbol of beauty, life, and hope.

We are deeply grateful to our dear friend Beverley Taylor who typed our first draft.

We express our appreciation for the support and help we have received from Christine Smith, Publishing Director, Rebecca Goldsmith, Editorial and Rights Administrator, and Josie Gunn, Sales and Marketing Controller at Canterbury Press.

Above all we must express our gratitude and love to our wives, Sharon and Gilly, who have supported and sustained us on many occasions in our rabbinic and personal lives: they have been a source of wisdom, strength and comfort in the most challenging of times.

The Editors

For the two Elizabeths in my life:

my dear mother

and

Elizabeth Toogood

whose words of wisdom and compassion

have been a true source of comfort to me

CHM

For Sharon

who has dedicated herself to comforting the bereaved

and

Aaron and Ruth

who walk in their parents’ footsteps

AG

Introduction

Be comforted, be comforted my people, says your God.

Whether you are a person of faith or not, there are always moments in every human life when we need to find sources of comfort, to sustain us through times of anxiety, disappointment or pain, of loss or bereavement.

Throughout the millennia of Jewish history, from the Hebrew Bible to modern times, Jewish sages have written and spoken words of encouragement, reassurance and hope.

In the pages of this anthology we present a selection of poems, psalms and meditations from all periods of the Jewish past and present that we hope will provide food for thought, and words of comfort at the difficult moments in every human life. We have reproduced these passages in the English of their time as we hope that a variety of styles will give added meaning to readers across the generations.

We know well that some of the passages we have chosen are challenging, indeed on an initial reading they may seem distressing rather than comforting, even harsh: we have included them because our rabbinic experience in congregations has taught us that the value of some texts lies not in the fact that they wrap the reader in a warm embrace but that they stimulate the emotions, and that can be a cathartic, healing process too. Besides, confronting a reality that you might otherwise choose to deny, or the pain of which you might seek to avoid, can be a vital step in finding the comfort and encouragement you seek to begin your life again.

We hope that this collection of readings will provide solace to those in need, encourage a realisation that life is almost always worth living, however hard it seems, most especially when that which is most precious is taken away from us, and we feel that our hold on life has slipped.

It has been our separate privilege, and occasionally struggle, to share with congregants some of the darkest and most challenging moments in human life, and we have drawn strength and hope from the many examples of human fortitude and optimism that have inspired us when our own lives took a turn for the worse.

We have also been fortunate that our collaborative immersion in Jewish liturgy, and the creation of Jewish prayer books, over the last thirty-two years has exposed us to a wider range of Jewish literature and Jewish wisdom than we might otherwise have encountered, which has inspired us to create this book of comfort.

Rabbi Dr Andrew Goldstein

Rabbi Dr Charles H. Middleburgh

Most of the biblical texts used in this anthology are based on the New Revised Standard Version, 1995 (NRSV) or the Jewish Publication Society Tanakh, 1999 (JPS) translations of the Hebrew Bible: some are in gender specific English. In one or two cases, for subjective reasons of aesthetics, we have chosen to use the King James Bible.

1. The Pain of Life

From Psalm 31

Take pity on me, O God, I am in distress.

Grief wastes away my eyes, my throat, my inmost parts.

For my life is worn out with sorrow, my years with sighs;

my strength yields under misery, my bones are wasting away.

I am contemptible, loathsome to my neighbours, to my friends a thing of fear.

Those who see me in the street hurry past me;

I am forgotten, as good as dead in their hearts, something discarded.

Psalm 31.10–13

The Meaning of Life

Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfil the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.

These tasks, and therefore the meaning of life, differ from man to man, and from moment to moment. Thus it is impossible to define the meaning of life in a general way. Questions about the meaning of life can never be answered by sweeping statements. ‘Life’ does not mean something vague, but something very real and concrete, just as life’s tasks are also very real and concrete. They form man’s destiny, which is different and unique for each individual. No man and no destiny can be compared with any other man or any other destiny. No situation repeats itself, and each situation calls for a different response. Sometimes the situation in which a man finds himself may require him to shape his own fate by action. At other times it is more advantageous for him to make use of an opportunity for contemplation and to realize assets in this way. Sometimes man may be required simply to accept fate, to bear his cross. Every situation is distinguished by its uniqueness, and there is always only one right answer to the problem posed by the situation at hand.

When a man finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as his task; his single and unique task. He will have to acknowledge the fact that even in suffering he is unique and alone in the universe. No one can relieve him of his suffering or suffer in his place. His unique opportunity lies in the way in which he bears his burden.

Viktor E. Frankl

From Psalm 102

A prayer of the destitute who is faint and pours forth his plea before the Eternal One.

O God, hear my prayer; let my cry come before You.

Do not hide Your face from me in my time of trouble; turn Your ear to me; when I cry, answer me speedily.

For my days are vanished like smoke and my bones are charred like a hearth.

My body is stricken and withered like grass; too wasted to eat my food; on account of my despair my bones show through my skin.

I am like a pelican in the wilderness, a tawny owl among the ruins.

I lie awake; I am like a lone bird upon a roof.

For I have eaten ashes like bread and mixed my drink with tears.

My days are like a lengthening shadow; I wither like grass.

But You, Eternal One, are enthroned forever; Your fame endures throughout the ages.

Psalm 102.1–10, 12–13

Dark is the Night

The night is dark

And I am blind.

The wind tears the stick

from my hand.

Bare is my sack,

empty my