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    If Rowan Knew...
    If Rowan Knew...
    If Rowan Knew...
    Ebook237 pages3 hours

    If Rowan Knew...

    By Tressie Lockwood

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    About this ebook

    If Rowan knew what happened on the day his wife died, he wouldn’t have asked Brielle to marry him. If Brielle had any sense, she wouldn’t have said yes. But their marriage is an arranged one, without hope of love. Rowan still pines for the woman who wasn’t what he thought she was, and Brielle is racked with guilt over her part in Rowan’s late wife’s death.

    Brielle never saw herself falling in love with her chilly but generous husband. The life of financial security she envisioned has grown complicated, and she doesn’t know which way to turn. When she learns she’s pregnant, she thinks it’s time to stop living in a fantasy world, but leaving Rowan is harder than telling him the truth.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTressie Lockwood
    Release dateDec 20, 2017
    ISBN9781386249085
    If Rowan Knew...

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    • 4/5
      Great storyline beautifully written, though I cried a lil but still smiled in the end ??

    Book preview

    If Rowan Knew... - Tressie Lockwood

    Chapter 1

    Brielle stepped out of the car and heaved a deep sigh. Her nerves were a jangled mess, and she felt like one false move and her breakfast would come back to haunt her. She’d eaten that morning, not from appetite but because her damn best friend told her it was better not to attend the funeral on an empty stomach .

    Wrong!

    Of course neither her friend Sakina nor her buddy Kace understood why this particular death was having so much affect on her. They wouldn’t learn the truth from her—not in this lifetime.

    She let a small moan escape as Kace came around the car to take her arm. Okay? he asked in simple terms and a gentle smile.

    I’m good. She lied, but he didn’t need to know her legs were about to give. The guilt was still fresh. It grew stronger and tormented her more as she walked with Kace to the funeral home.

    Sakina took up a spot on her other side, linking her arm with Brielle’s. The door to the place squeaked as Kace opened it, grating on Brielle’s fragile nerves. She winced but kept moving. The sooner she found a seat the sooner the service would be over. Then the guilt increased because she wanted to rush through paying her respects to the poor woman lying in the casket. She couldn’t win.

    They found a seat near the back. Brielle was gratified at least to see the place was packed. Shades of deep gray and black all over the room set off the colorful flowers at the front. There were so many Brielle wondered if the purchaser had emptied out a florist’s shop. Tears filled her eyes. Penelope had been loved.

    Brielle snuck a peek up at Kace on her right side. Even though it was seven in the morning—who in the hell arranged a funeral that early?—Kace appeared fresh and handsome. His dark hair was cut in a spiky sideswipe on top and low to skin fade in the back. Women normally fell all over themselves to capture his attention. The hair combined with is soulful eyes made Kace super sexy. However, she had never seen him as anything more than a friend.

    On her left was Sakina, crazy girl who always had her back. Sometimes Sakina was the one to stir up trouble. When Brielle asked Sakina to join her for the funeral of a stranger, Sakina didn’t blink. She agreed.

    Tall for a woman at five foot nine, Sakina was built like a model but had let herself gain a few pounds when she crossed thirty. Other than her height, Sakina’s looks matched Brielle’s so much they could be sisters. Cocoa brown skin, almond shaped chocolate eyes, and a nose a bit too much on the stubby side.

    That’s where the similarity ended because Brielle lamented daily how wide her hips were compared to Sakina’s and how her extra weight made her dumpy because she was only five foot seven. Sakina was curvy and sexy. Brielle not so much. Sakina said two inches didn’t make a difference, but Brielle refused to believe it. The only trait Brielle could claim to be better than her friend was her heavy boobs. They weren’t too droopy, and she’d found more than one man looking a little too long at them.

    Sakina leaned over to whisper to her. Who is that sexy thirst quencher right there?

    Brielle eyed her. We’re at a funeral, Kina, not the club.

    Oh, right. Sakina screwed her features up in an attempt to look pious, and Brielle snorted. Her friend bumped her arm. That’s better. I thought you could use some cheering up. It’s what I’m here for, after all. But seriously, he’s fine as hell. Who is he?

    Brielle sighed and looked. She wasn’t fooled in the least. Sakina always ogled men, commented on them, and called attention to herself as she noticed them, all in an effort to hide the fact that she was crazy about Kace. No one fell for the act except Kace. The woman was head over heels for him, but his blindness broke world records. Brielle felt bad for Sakina, but she held out hope Sakina would get over him and find someone ready to return her feelings.

    Stirring from her own emotional roller coaster, Brielle looked to see who Sakina drooled over. She was struck dumb, but not because he was so sexy—and he was—but because she figured out the man’s identity in an instant.

    Rowan Masters’ family surrounded him on both sides, and it would take a blind man to miss the resemblances. No, Brielle didn’t bother with whether or not Rowan looked like his brother and grandfather. His face drew her focus, handsome yes, but filled with misery. While she couldn’t see his eyes clearly from her distance, she imagined they reflected his shattered heart.

    The tears welled in her own eyes this time and spilled down her cheeks. Kace made a noise of alarm and threw his arm around her shoulders, drawing her into the warmth of his side. She tried to resist, but he was stronger and wasn’t to be put off. She let him hold her while she kept looking toward Rowan.

    Rowan’s brother said something in his ear, but he didn’t respond. He watched his wife, lying still in the casket. He didn’t cry. In fact, he was so still, she wondered if he breathed.

    The older woman next to his grandfather, which Brielle assumed was his grandmother, tapped her husband. He nodded at something she said to him and switched places. The older woman spoke to Rowan and struggled to her feet with the help of her husband. She held out a hand to Rowan.

    Brielle thought Rowan would ignore her too, but his gaze slowly rose from the casket to his grandmother’s face. She nodded encouragingly, and he took her hand. The two of them moved to the casket, but as soon as Rowan reached it, he took a knee, dropping like a stone. His head bowed, and he gripped the side of the casket for dear life. Both his bother and his grandfather rushed to him. His brother knelt beside him, broad shoulders blocking Rowan’s face from the rest of the funeral attendees.

    Brielle broke from Kace’s hold and leaned around the people in the row ahead of theirs. She got a better look at Rowan. Was it her imagination or had his shoulders shook some? She wouldn’t be surprised. He had just lost his wife, a beautiful, young, and ethereal type of woman who had drawn the opposite sex’s eyes just walking by. Penelope Masters, she would have a man who looked like Rowan. It was such a mighty loss.

    At some point, Rowan’s family got him back in his seat. The service began. Brielle had trouble keeping her mind on the director standing at the front of the room, but her ears perked up when he spoke about how Penelope died. She already knew everything.

    We mourn the loss of such a wonderful young woman, the director said. She was a close sister-in-law and a loving granddaughter-in-law, and most important of all, a deeply devoted wife.

    Brielle ground her teeth. One mistake, one lapse in judgment, Penelope hadn’t been devoted the day she died, and her foolishness had cost her.

    Her short life was snuffed out, the man said, and several people eyed him. He was going too far. No one needed to be reminded that Penelope had been murdered, least of all her husband. One of the man’s team members cleared their throat, and he got the message. Penelope will be missed. Now I’m going to ask the family to…

    The service wound down, and it was time for those who wanted to walk up and view the body one last time to do so. The family would remain where they were on the first row, and then they would get their private time with Penelope before the pallbearers carried her out.

    Kace slid forward on his seat and drew the sides of his charcoal gray suit together to button it. Are you ready to go, Bri? I’ll buy you lunch and help take your mind off everything. I’ve taken the rest of the day from work to be with you.

    Sakina reached across Brielle to smack Kace’s leg. You can buy me lunch too.

    His eyebrows rose, and he just barely covered his disappointment. Don’t you have to get back? I thought you said your boss can’t breathe without you instructing him.

    Brielle comes first. She needs me.

    "I’ll take care of her."

    Brielle stood, putting an end to the disagreement. I’m going to the front.

    Kace frowned. You didn’t even know her that well, Bri. She was at the shelter what three weeks?

    A month. So what? She’s gone, and I know if you died, you would want someone to grieve for you. You two just wait here.

    Before either of them could complain, she thrust past Sakina and stepped into the aisle. Joining the line headed to the front, she tried to calm herself. Her hands shook, and she clutched them together to hide the quake. That did nothing for her knees, and walking on the high heels she’d chosen that morning felt like walking through quicksand. Her feet dragged, and her limbs felt heavy. Guilt could do a real number on a person.

    At last she reached the front and stood before the casket. In death, Penelope wasn’t nearly so beautiful, but that was because of the absence of the very thing that made Penelope stand out—life.

    Do this for me, Brielle, Penelope had said. They weren’t instant friends, but that’s how Penelope treated everyone when she first met them, like an old girlfriend. Brielle had always disliked that kind of personality because it seemed fake. This one time, and I won’t ever ask you again. It’s the only time I’ve ever done it. To tell the truth, I’m nervous…

    A small cry escaped Brielle, and she smacked a hand over her mouth. Someone held up a slip of tissue in front of her face, and she grasped it, smothering her mouth as the tears fell. All she could think at that moment was that everyone knew. They saw that she was a terrible human being, a selfish one with no moral values.

    She broke down but then figured she was drawing more attention. From somewhere deep, she pulled the willpower up to dry her eyes and stifle the sobs. Afterward, when she could move and speak like a woman with sense, she turned from the casket. Rowan Masters stared directly at her. The world tilted.

    He wore a black suit, which fit his muscular frame to perfection. This close, she noted his eyes were a brilliant green that were filled with such pain they tempted her to throw herself at his feet and beg his forgiveness. Instead, she stumbled over to him and cleared her throat.

    M-Mr. Masters, I’m so s-sorry for your loss. If there’s anything I can do, please… The whole time she spoke to him, she stared at the top button on his shirt, but on the tail end of her condolences, she dared to meet his gaze. His powerful presence swept her from head to foot, a tsunami, although she wasn’t sure why she should think of him that way. If there’s anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.

    He said nothing, but his brother laid a heavy hand on his back. Rowan’s voice came out rumbling and deep. Thank you for your concern.

    Moisture gathered in the corners of her eyes, and she spun away, hurried down the far aisle, and straight out the exit. She couldn’t take anymore. The best thing to do was to bury the past and forget it. She was sorry and would live with the guilt forever, but it would do no good to hurt Roman any more than he already was. It was over. Time to move on.

    Chapter 2

    One year later…

    Brielle accepted the glass of champagne offered and took a sip. Good stuff. She couldn’t believe how she and Kace lucked out to be able to attend this charity ball. She had even saved money by borrowing a dress from Sakina. Her friend had bought it a size too big, and it fit Brielle’s wide as the earth hips.

    She gazed down at the sleeveless black and gold dress with the keyhole neckline. It’s soft silky material fell over her curves in a way no dress she had ever owned had done. The dress made her look and feel super sexy, and she loved it. Plus, she had matching heels in her closet that she had only worn once. With her hair swept up, exposing her neck and the makeup tips she had learned at the mall, she looked fierce.

    Another sip or two of the alcohol and tensions of the day melted away. She loosened up and moved to the music. Gazing around the huge ballroom, she took in the other guests, all in fancy dress as she was, probably costing far more. Every person in attendance had to have money to mess around with. She and Kace weren’t in their league, not even close. Her savings account grew because she was disciplined as hell, but that didn’t amount to what she would like to see in there.

    The beat of the music rose, and she scanned the attendees for Kace. He had said he was going to the restroom, but unless he fell in, there was no way it should take him this long. She worked her way around the room. Sure enough, amid a crowd of women of various ages stood Kace. He couldn’t stop drawing attention if he tried.

    Brielle watched Kace with amusement, sipping on her champagne. He flashed a beautiful white smile, and more than one woman blushed and simpered. A few fast tails teased him and clung to his arms, fingers curling around his biceps. Kace looked amazing in the penguin suit he had kept from his cousin’s wedding a few months back. Brielle almost wished she could love him like a woman should. They grew up together, so it wasn’t happening. He was like a brother.

    I hope you’re enjoying the party.

    Brielle startled and turned. She got the shock of a lifetime when found none other than Rowan Masters standing next to her. Was he this tall last year? She had to crane her neck to look up at him, way up, and his shoulders blocked out the rest of the partygoers. She swallowed, a simmering unpleasantness in her belly.

    Huh?

    Great, Brielle. You sound like you belong. Not!

    He repeated himself, and this time she noticed there wasn’t a lick of emotion in his words. It occurred to her that he didn’t give a rat’s behind whether she enjoyed herself or not.

    I arranged for the tickets.

    Her eyes rounded. You did? Why? I mean… Man, she was eloquent. How do you know me?

    She couldn’t forget him. That handsome face, although void of the gut-wrenching pain from a year ago, was burned into her memory. He was still gorgeous, and he fit into this rich crowd. Now that she found him there, she shouldn’t have been so arrogant to come. She’d wanted to see how the other half lived for one night.

    Brielle Berry, he said. You volunteer at Brevington Children’s Home. Your regular job is at Fla-Johnson Industries.

    She gaped.

    Don’t be alarmed. I wanted to offer you the tickets because I recall how much my wife’s death affected you.

    Oh. She couldn’t explain to him why she’d cried so hard last year at the funeral. That wasn’t necessary, but thanks. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go find my friend.

    She didn’t give him the chance to stop her but ran off as fast as the crowd would let her through. Instead of moving toward the last place she spotted Kace, she made her way to the opposite side of the room. Double doors leading to a balcony area drew her, and she stepped into the night air.

    A breeze cooled her burning face, and she tilted her chin upward. See, this was why she shouldn’t have let greed go to her head and make her use the tickets she received in the mail.

    Rowan was a rich man. She knew because she looked him up as well, but her investigation didn’t tell her where he lived. Not that she had searched that much. All she knew was that he and his family owned a company that handled online payments. The two brothers started it, and their grandfather, who had been doing great financially with a ranch, sold the ranch and joined the brothers in the new venture. The new company practically printed money for the family. Brielle couldn’t even comprehend that level of prosperity.

    Why do you look like you’re hiding?

    She rolled her eyes at Kace as he strolled up to her. You found me.

    Wait, you weren’t hiding from me, were you?

    She laughed. How could you tell when you were surrounded by every skank in the state?

    Were you jealous?

    Don’t sound so hopeful. No. And I wasn’t hiding. I’m just enjoying this champagne. I can’t believe it’s this good. Rich people know how to do it right.

    It’s all in your head. He drained his own glass. "This doesn’t taste any different than what they served at my cousin’s wedding. You expect

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