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    In Case You Were Wondering Why I Disappeared and other stories
    In Case You Were Wondering Why I Disappeared and other stories
    In Case You Were Wondering Why I Disappeared and other stories
    Ebook80 pages56 minutes

    In Case You Were Wondering Why I Disappeared and other stories

    By Stuart Kamille

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    About this ebook

    When I showed this to several friends, they laughed out loud. They all wanted me to publish it. I hesitated. My wife thought I would look like a nincompoop. (She's usually right about such things.). The only way to find out is to put it out there for you to judge for yourself.

    Well...what is IT?

    It's a collection of funny stories I've written over the years that deal with life as I observed it. Have you noticed how lIfe has a nasty habit of slipping through your fingers and darting around the corner and ...whoosh...it's moved on and so have you? So to pin down some of these events (and they are all completely true) so they wouldn't slip away, I pinned them to this paper (O.K. electronic paper) to keep them in one spot. I hope you at least get a chuckle or two out of them. Perhaps it will, remind you of some similar things in your life. I thought these were funny enough to share..

    So I'll leave it up to you. Read a sample and if you like it buy it.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherStuart Kamille
    Release dateDec 20, 2017
    ISBN9781370604111
    In Case You Were Wondering Why I Disappeared and other stories
    Author

    Stuart Kamille

    Stuart J Kamille is an author and businessman. He started in the advertising business introducing products for a number of highly successful companies. As part of his experience building businesses, he developed a variety of new ways to distribute coupons and attract customers. One of those ways was to offer commercial games to customers, which required no purchase. You"ve probably played McDonald's Scrabble or Monopoly. Lots of people did. They are still in use today Along the way Kamille acquired a number of different patents dealing with scoring, handling and printing of large numbers of game pieces and coupons. This valuable experience formed the basis for several books and lectures based on building businesses and creative innovation.How To Sell Your Idea; (see below) was one of those books. Life's too short not to have fun. So some of his later work has a different focus . The Short Thoughts Series is much different and not as serious. They contain some interesting ideas that you might find amusing. Kamille is a frequent guest lecturer at the University of Georgia's Terry College of Business in Athens Georgia and the Reynolds School of Journalism at the University of Nevada, Reno. Some of his lectures are available on You Tube. Kamille holds a number of US Patents in such diverse fields as mathematics, statistics, and scoring and analysis of data. His books are available through most major bookstores, on line at Amazon. Com, Scribd. Com and Smashwords. Com. He is currently working on a study of the development of consciousness, a book on creating new products and a variety of humorous works.

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      Book preview

      In Case You Were Wondering Why I Disappeared and other stories - Stuart Kamille

      INTRODUCTION

      As you know, (as anyone over 3 knows), life has a way of going its own way and you just hang on and try not to screw up. This is not (as you might imagine) as easy as it sounds. Life has its own course and seems to be hurrying off, out the door and down the road with nary a backward glance to see if you’re coming along. and it's surprising how hard it is to keep up.

      Perhaps it's because trying not to screw up takes so much time, life seems to whiz right by in a New York minute. It produces this strange feeling that you missed something and now find yourself standing at the bus stop with one foot hanging in the air, trying to get onto the bus, not realizing that the bus has already left. It left years and years ago and now you’re just realizing it.

      If, like me, you are beginning to think that you should have taken the time to really savor some of those memories when they actually occurred, this book might be just what you need. I have collected here some of the seemingly normal things that happen to everybody but upon reflection could have turned out a lot differently than they ultimately did. They are probably similar to things that have happened to you only maybe with a twist or two.

      I'm glad I went to the trouble to do it since otherwise I would never have gotten an excuse to actually recall what happened. Now by pinning them to paper, they can't slip away like they did the first time. You know what? I found it very rewarding. Mainly because as it turned out... I had a lot more fun than I thought I did. If somehow you find the time to sit back and think about it, I'll bet you would find out the very same thing.

      What follows then actually happened. Names have been changed to protect the guilty parties of course, but that's OK, I don't want to get sued.

      So...where to begin?...

      SJK

      CHAPTER 1

      IN CASE YOU ARE WONDERING WHY I DISAPPEARED

      To my dear friends:

      If you don’t mind rather than making a long list of phone calls to re-iterate the tale of the last 10 days, I shall update you all with this summary, which I hope, will also explain why you have not heard from me or received an email from me and thus have no idea of my whereabouts.

      To start at the beginning …

      Kathy and I were absolutely floored, when (falling out of an elegant linen envelope) a wedding invitation appeared. It wasn’t the style of the invitation that floored us. It was the substance of the contents.

      Our very good, 90+ year-old friend was getting married.

      Was this good news?

      Absolutely.

      Would we attend?

      Are you KIDDDING?

      Who wouldn’t have elevated expectations of a gallant bridegroom, a very charming bride and a fun filled trip full of memories. To add to the savor of the moment; the wedding was in Reno, just down the street (as it were) from all our friends at Glenbrook, which was our home for 25 years.

      Needless to say, if you’re going to go the trouble to shovel yourself onto an airplane filled with crying babies, obese bulging matrons and bearded Mountain men that smelled strangely like fried chicken; just to attend a wedding...you might as well tie it to a reunion with a host of very close friends. It seemed a great way to stretch our frequent flyer miles.

      Perfectly sensible. Wouldn’t you agree?

      You can imagine how excited we both were. Within minutes of accepting the invitation, we were rummaging around the house, looking for our sadly outdated Glenbrook phonebook and burning up the wires creating a flow chart of breakfasts, lunches and dinners with everyone we knew from the old homestead.

      This included practically the entire populace of the metropolis of Glenbrook (population less that 80 in the winter).

      Then with this arm long list of obligations, we were off to Hartsfield Airport for our grand odyssey.

      Excitement and anticipation…a joyful bride and groom and a fond reunion with old friends.

      "This trip should be a corker" I said.

      And BOY was I right.

      Just not in the way I thought it would be.

      The first hint of what was to come came shortly upon arrival. We were standing straight up in our ‘Sunday best’ in the breathtakingly beautiful, ultra modern, Catholic Church in Sparks as my friend walked down the aisle with his new bride

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