The Quest For Gillian's Heart
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Andor never believes any woman could grab his heart much less enflame it, until an Irish lass named Gillian comes into his life. Gillian will do all she can to save the child she carries from harm even if that means marrying the leader of the Northmen who ransacked her village and took her captive. Little does she realize that her heart will soon be captive. But happily ever after seems never to be when cultures and religions clash, and others want the bride and groom for themselves. Those who will stop at nothing to achieve their goals...not even murder.
2002 National Readers Choice Finalist
2001-2001 Golden Quill Finalist
2002 EPPIE Finalist
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The Quest For Gillian's Heart - Catherine Snodgrass
CHAPTER 1
The Journey, Late Winter, 890 a.d.
Andor brushed his hand across the overlapping planks of riveted pine. Every so often he caught a whiff of the tarred animal hair he and his men had used to seal the ship. His ship. A year in the making. Fifteen years of dreams. No other ship was finer—not even those of Olaf or Leif, which sat nearby waiting to follow him on this journey.
His gaze wandered to the prow. Astrid’s carved likeness smiled down at him. It was a fitting homage to his woman, his wife, the mother of his unborn child.
A sudden night breeze swirled his hair about his bearded face. Andor pulled a small strip of leather from his kirtle to tie the blond strands in place. Then he wrapped his fingers around the amulet of Thor’s hammer which hung from his neck.
May Aegir bless this journey with these winds.
It seemed the gods had been watching over him since his first trip at the age of twelve. He felt as much anticipation now as he had then. Years of seafaring, trading, and raiding with his uncle had taught him much and made him wealthy. Now the gods decreed it was time to move on to other pursuits. Time to settle with a family and till the soil. The thrill of a new adventure in a pristine land surged in his blood. The weight of responsibility stilled the rush.
He mentally checked preparations made. All was packed for the trip across the sea. The walrus ivory, ropes from the hides of seals and walruses, skins, and furs for trading. The seeds, tools, household goods, and stores for settling. Cattle, sheep, goats, and horses would be loaded at sunrise. There was also a large box of sand on each vessel for the women’s cooking fires. Nothing had been overlooked for a successful journey.
He admired the handiwork on the ship once more. It was a large, sturdy vessel almost eighty feet from prow to stern with each end curving gracefully toward the sky. At its widest portion it was eighteen feet. It was here he placed the hold to secure the animals and goods. Loose pine floorboards on the deck allowed storage underneath and easy access to bail out bilge water. A woolen sailcloth waited to be unfurled. If the winds were not with them, sixteen sets of oars lay ready to be put to use. Fully laden with all the possessions they owned, the ship would still ride high in the water, masterfully carrying them to the farmland Andor had claimed as his the year before in Iceland.
Iceland.
A country of lush green valleys and soothing hot springs was hidden behind that foreboding name. The instant Andor had seen it, he knew he had found home. His cousin, Leif, and Olaf, husband to Andor’s sister, had felt the same. Together they returned to the land of Andor’s birth to plan their future. And there Andor took the bride arranged for him during his absence.
It was an adequate match. Even though she was a bit frail, even though she was nine years his junior, even though there was no fire in the veins of his shy, young bride...well, that was also part of settling down. His days of fiery women were over. His hope of a love match gone with them. With adulthood came new responsibilities—those which made a wife a necessity.
Andor felt a slight tug on his hair. Only one person would dare taunt him so. With a smile teasing his lips, he looked down at his sister, Freyda. Her head just reached his shoulder. The moonlight caught the golden sparkle in her forest green eyes, so much like his own. Two years younger, married with a young son of her own, she was still his greatest confidante.
What brings you out this night?
The same that brings you,
she replied. Thoughts of the journey weigh heavy on me. I saw you from the door.
You are frightened.
It was more of a statement than a question.
Yes. ’Tis so very far. So very long.
She hugged herself as if suddenly chilled.
You traveled with Olaf many times since you wed.
To trade, never to leave Northland forever. I shall miss Mother and Father. Björn and his family. And Hildy, of course.
Andor chuckled at the mention of their youngest sister. Of course.
They will never see Erik grow. They will never see your child,
Freyda said with a sigh.
We have little choice. There is no room here for us.
Andor looked toward the fjord which would take them to the open sea.
You will love Iceland, Freyda. The rivers are so clear you might see the bottom. You could even build your home over a tiny stream and have water without going outside. And the land—as green as those beautiful eyes of yours. ’Twould take a day’s walk to get from the center of my land to the center of yours. ’Tis a wonderful place to rear a child.
Freyda smiled. You make it sound like the land of the gods.
Andor chuckled again. ’Tis the closest we mortals will come to Asgard.
Then if we hope to get a good start in the morning, we should try to sleep...before Astrid awakens and finds you gone. She does need her rest.
Andor nodded and fell in step beside her. Astrid did not carry the child well. Weariness and sickness plagued her, yet she refused to remain idle. The voyage would not be easy on her, yet to delay would cause them to miss the spring planting time. With luck and strong winds, they would arrive before the time and still have a wait for the babe’s birth. It was good to leave now while Astrid was still light with child.
Sleep well, brother.
Freyda ducked into her bed closet.
Sleep well.
Andor was careful not to disturb Astrid as he crept into the small room in which they slept. He slipped off his soft leather boots and pulled his kirtle over his head. He paused at the tapered trousers. It would only embarrass Astrid if she were to discover he chose to sleep in the nude.
Andor drew a deep breath, released it slowly, then crawled beneath the warmth of the furs. He longed to caress the slightly rounded bulge of her belly. Again Astrid’s embarrassment prevented it.
He curled his body around his wife’s. In her sleep she groaned a protest. Andor reluctantly pulled away, turning his back to hers as he waited for sleep to close his eyes.
* * *
Dawn’s gray hours found the settlement stirring with activity. Astrid and the other women bustled about with last minute preparations. Smells of breakfast filled the longhouse, but anxiety refused to allow Andor to eat. He strapped his sword to his belt, then tossed his red cloak around him, pinning it with a penannular brooch at his right shoulder. He reached for his helmet and shield, then recalled both were already on the ship.
Do not be long, wife.
Andor dropped a kiss on Astrid’s upturned cheek then watched in amazement as a flush followed. Perhaps childbirth would make her less restrained.
Only one or two things left to do,
she replied. The barrels of fresh water are being loaded now, and we must not forget our bed furs.
Andor gathered the mound of furs, then turned to find Astrid close behind him. He smiled, kissed her fully, then laughed at her red cheeks.
As usual she could not be pulled into play and instead avoided his gaze. Thora moves stiffly this morning.
Andor sighed and shook his head. Leif had beaten his wife again. It was all too common these days. ’Tis really not my place to interfere with a man and his wife.
But the child she carries could well be hurt,
Astrid said.
That much was true, but he doubted Leif cared. I will speak to him.
As Andor stepped into the morning, his eyes scanned the bustle of people for Leif’s black head. Instead, he found Thora, struggling under a load of furs.
She had been a beauty in her youth with brown hair that gleamed with gold when the sun touched it. Andor had once thought to make her his wife, but in his long absences other arrangements had been made. That was unfortunate for Thora. Life with her husband had taken its toll. Now, no luster sparked her eyes. At times she looked older than Andor’s mother instead of the young girl Andor’s heart had sought. She was as long with child as Astrid yet looked twice as large, giving Andor cause to wonder if the tales of Thora’s infidelity were true.
He beat her again.
Andor turned to the scowling visage of his red-headed brother by marriage. Olaf’s blue eyes looked past the woman to the man responsible.
If he cannot tolerate her, then he should set her free to find happiness as another man’s wife. Rollo’s perhaps,
he said with a jerk of his head.
Andor looked back as Rollo hurried forward to help Thora. The towering young blacksmith was powerfully built yet gentle with all smaller than him. His desire to help Thora was nothing he would not do for others, but one person took offense. With a face as dark as a thundercloud, Leif strode to them.
Andor dropped his furs and raced forward to intercept Leif. Leif yanked a leather strap from his belt and raised it high. Thora whimpered and cowered to the ground, expecting to be beaten.
No!
Andor shouted.
Leif froze, shocked that he should be interfered with.
I asked Rollo to take the furs so that Thora might help Astrid. You know how sickly she has been.
Andor prayed the gods would forgive his lie.
Leif lowered his hand. Go.
The woman waddled away before her husband could change his mind.
Andor took a deep breath. He had gone this far, what more could hurt? I wanted to speak to you of Astrid. This long voyage will be hard on her. There are few women on my ship. You have many on yours. I would like Thora to travel with us to help Astrid.
Leif considered it for a few moments. Done.
He stooped to pick up half the furs. The rest are hers.
He turned on his heel and walked away.
Rollo picked up the remaining furs. I will carry these and yours to your ship. You may tell Thora of the change.
I will,
said Freyda from behind.
For the first time Andor realized that Freyda and young Erik were standing there. She lifted the hem of her shift and ran to share the news with the other two women. The spinning tools which hung from the brooches at her shoulders clattered in her rush.
’Tis only a short reprieve for Thora,
Andor said with a sigh. Come, Olaf, we have a ship to set to water. Enough time has been wasted this dawn.
There was a tug on his trousers and Andor looked down at Erik. Born five years ago this month, the boy boasted a shock of red hair. He was Olaf’s image born again.
May I help launch your ship, uncle?
Andor ruffled his hair. A strong hand is always needed. Come.
Andor’s walk to the vessel was a signal for others. They hastened to join him for the task. Several ran ahead to remove the wedges which held the roller logs in place. By the time Andor reached the ship, forty men stood ready to help him.
The ship moved slowly over the logs. As one roller was uncovered it was carried forward. When only the stern remained ashore, a rousing cheer burst from the men.
Now came the painful ordeal of saying farewell. Andor embraced his remaining family, then stood aside while Astrid and Freyda did the same. He shook his head as the women began to cry. Always so sentimental. It was true he would miss his family, but not enough to cry like an infant.
Realizing the dawn was fading, the ladies hurried to their respective ships. The ramp was hauled in and, with a final shove, Andor’s vessel bobbed upon the water. With Andor as helmsman, the men set their oars in the water. They glided down the fjord while Olaf and Leif followed in their ships.
Andor memorized the steep, green cliffs as they edged toward the sea. Home was now Iceland. The mouth of the fjord widened. The ocean beckoned.
Rollo, take over,
Andor said. Raise the mast and hoist the sail.
The men set the long pole in a block to hold it in place. Once it was secure, they tugged the yard arm to the top of the mast. The great scarlet and gold sail, a gift made for Andor by his mother, filled with wind and pulled them into the sea.
’Tis beautiful,
Astrid said from beside him. In an uncharacteristic display of affection, she wrapped her arms around his waist. Thank you for helping Thora.
He covered her with his arms. ’Twill not last. You know that.
’Tis enough for now.
She stretched on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. On to Iceland.
Andor smiled. Yes, to Iceland.
The trip down the coast was swift without event—a boring time for those onboard. To speed their journey, they rarely spent the night on shore. When they did so, Astrid made a good show of needing help so that Leif would not take Thora back. So far it was a plan that worked, but Andor worried what Thora’s fate would be when they reached their destination.
The men and women passed their time working on crafts or listening to Astrid play her harp. Rollo carved combs from reindeer antlers while other men fished or fashioned jewelry out of old coins and glass beads. Their passage was peaceful. Even a three-day stay to trade at the Shetlands went well.
The ships were nearing the Faroes when rough seas tossed them from their sleeping skins. Wind slammed against them, listing the vessel to one side.
Haul in the sail!
Andor shouted. Rollo, man the tiller! Keep us from those rocks!
Andor fought the sail with twenty other men, battling the wind for possession. At the stern, Rollo and two of the strongest men steered the ship clear of jagged rocks. Even with the wind battering his ears, Andor could hear the sound of wood scrapping stone. He prayed it was only his imagination. He jerked his head in that direction and saw a terrifying sight—Thora leaning over the edge.
No!
Wind swallowed his voice.
Andor dropped his sail line and struggled to reach her. Astrid edged toward her, hand extended before her. She swiped air, trying to grab Thora’s cloak. The ship rocked. Thora lost her balance in favor of Astrid. Before she could return to her suicidal perch, Astrid caught a handful of her cloak.
Like a mother scolding a wayward child, Astrid pulled her charge farther away. The ship rolled once more, throwing the occupants about while a massive wave crashed over them.
Watery tentacles threatened to pull Andor into its depths. He tangled his arm in the sail line and held on. When the water cleared, only one woman remained.
Astrid!
Andor leaped over people to reach the spot where he’d last seen them. Thora lay curled like a babe, sobbing. He raced to the rail, shouting his wife’s name into the stinging needles of icy rain.
Andor, look!
a man called out.
He spun around, hoping for a sign of Astrid. Instead, through the gray haze, he saw Olaf’s ship smash into the very rocks they had just avoided. The ship turned on its side, caught by the gray spires, while the sea tried to scoop out its contents.
Andor looked around the deck, trying to decide what to do next. Astrid was not the only one who was lost. At least ten others had been washed away. His every instinct screamed to find her, yet he knew that was impossible. He was leader of this expedition. He had to save those he could. That was his responsibility. His heart had never felt more torn.
What do we do?
Rollo shouted.
Andor scanned the area and saw Leif’s vessel slip past him. Obviously, he had made a decision and, at that moment, so had Andor.
Steer close to Olaf’s ship, but not near the rocks. We will lash our ship to it and try to right it.
It was work that helped Andor keep his mind off his loss. He never asked himself what he would do if he discovered Freyda, Olaf, and Erik were also gone. As they neared the other vessel, he leaped aboard, a seal rope clutched tightly in his grip.
Five of his men followed. They lashed the ropes to the crossbeams at each ship’s floor, and Andor waved Rollo to pull back. Slowly the ship was righted, and a gaping hole in her side was revealed.
Everyone onto my ship. Take everything with you.
Andor jumped onto the hold to hand boxes up.
Andor!
Freyda cried out, and tossed her arms around him.
He held her close, fighting desperately against the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him.
Olaf is gone.
She pointed to her husband’s inert body. His neck was twisted at a strange angle.
Erik?
Andor asked.
Freyda tossed back a pile of skins. The boy huddled beneath them, frightened and teary-eyed.
Andor caught them in his arms and carried them to the safety of his ship while the men salvaged all they could find, including the bodies of their fallen friends. Then Olaf’s ship was released to let the sea claim what it was so determined to have.
To shore, Rollo,
Andor said. We have our dead to care for.
It was as fitting a funeral as they could arrange so far from home—a simple grave for each person with all their possessions that remained to accompany them on their next journey. A few others had washed ashore with the evening tide, including Astrid whose lovely face was bloated in death. Andor was grateful he could give her a proper send off. As he placed her gently in her grave, he touched her rounded belly for the first and last time. At least mother and child would be together in the next life.
It was an emotional time for all, but Andor refused to allow himself to give in to tears. They had lost thirty people. It was time for decisions, not emotions. When the last grave was marked, he faced his people.
We have lost much and come far, but I will gladly return those who wish to go home.
Leif took a stand beside him. I have no desire to return just to start another journey next year, but I will give my ship and half my provisions for those of you who wish to leave. If that is all right with Andor.
Andor nodded. There was a murmur among the people and slowly each one made a decision. More than half chose home. Without question Leif’s animals and half his stores were moved to Andor’s ship. The thirty who remained waved their friends off.
To Ireland?
Leif asked Andor.
Andor rubbed the weariness from his neck. I have no desire for raiding.
If not, we will not make it to Iceland,
Leif said.
Andor sighed and looked over the horizon. Then we shall go a-viking.
In his youth raiding had been an exciting experience. As he grew in years, his conscience did not agree with stealing from others. They were people just as himself. While he didn’t understand their culture and did not want to, they spoke each other’s language. Slaves and brides captured through the centuries had mingled with Andor’s own, become a part of the world of the Northmen. To continue to pillage their villages was wrong, wasn’t it?
Still, Leif was right—they had to survive. When they reached Ireland, Andor would leave the raiding to Leif and remain onboard to await their return. Perhaps his guilt would then not be so great.
CHAPTER 2
Gillian glared at her husband’s inert figure. One fist found what used to be her waist while the other clutched a broom. He was still recovering from another night of drinking. Whenever there was a cup to be raised, Evan was there to lift it. Last night was once too often for Gillian. She narrowed her eyes and jammed the broom handle in his ribs.
Get up, you lazy sot!
Evan groaned. She poked him again.
I said get up. You are a worthless excuse for a husband. I do not know why I married you.
Because no one would have a shrewish harpy like ya fer a wife,
he mumbled from under his woolen blanket.
A harpy am I?
She poked him again.
Evan whipped back the blanket. Stop it, woman. Yer puttin’ a hole in me side. I shoulda strapped yer backside when I first married ya.
And ’twould be the last thing you ever did. Get up!
Evan winced. Quit yer screechin’. How can so beautiful a lass sound like a fishwife? Leave me rest, woman. The chores can wait.
He snapped the blanket over his head.
Gillian whacked the hump of his buttocks with the other end of the broom. The cow needs milking. Tell her bellering soul she can wait.
She gathered her skirts in one hand and bounced from their small stone cottage. The wind blew one red curl before her eyes. Muttering a curse, Gillian snatched her green kerchief off a peg by the door to tie her heavy mass of hair back.
The cow called from her stall. Hold on, girl. I will care for you shortly.
She turned her head over her shoulder so Evan could hear. Eight months gone with child, but you can be sure I will be handling the chores. The cooking, the cleaning, the sewing, the milking...and the plowing and planting, too!
Evan slept on as Gillian knew he would. She grabbed the bucket and strode to the animals’ stall beside the cottage. For her cow’s sake, she tried to calm herself before milking, but neither the milking nor the calming would be an easy task. She caressed the animal and settled on the stool. After a deep breath, she strained forward to grab the teats.
It was true—Evan was a poor husband. Gillian knew he would be before she married him. But she was past the age when girls marry, and her father was afraid she would be left alone when it came his time to go. Gillian could not refuse a dying man’s wish. She married a man of his choosing and called it a daughter’s duty.
Evan had seen her dowry and her beauty—it was enough for him. After taking her virginity and getting her with child, he settled down to drink away the small fortune marriage had given him. Fortunately, Gillian’s father had not lived long enough to see it.
There’s a girl.
Gillian patted the cow’s side, then levered herself upright. A half bucket. No wonder you were crying so.
She dumped some grain into the trough. Eat up. I will put you out to graze after the plowing is done.
Gillian set the bucket of milk inside the cottage, then draped the seed bag over her head. She was almost to the horse’s stall when she heard shouts and screams a short distance away. On tiptoe, she squinted toward the coast. The prow of a ship bore down on the beach. Already men were leaping from it, running to the tiny village with swords raised high above their heads.
She gasped. "Gaill."
Ducking into the stable with the animals, she pulled the door closed. It was the only hope she had of avoiding detection. A dash to the cottage would only bring their attention her way.
She’d heard tales of these pirates from the north. They wantonly slashed and burned their way through villages, taking what they wanted and killing anyone who would stand in their way. They took innocent folk as slaves and raped women. It was even said they ate