God Modelled Parenting

SEVEN

FORWARD

Having children is the most wonderful feeling any parent will ever have in life yet parenting these gifts is the most herculean job that will ever be done in the history of man. Parenting is not a field of study that you get a certificate for, it is a journey, a process and an unnerving job that requires a special skill set. These skills are however revealed in details in the pages of the scripture displayed by our Heavenly Father when He genuinely and patiently parented the first beings, Adam and Eve.

The information age pose a threat to all family which is sole fabric on which the society is built. It is a known fact that the very pillar and foundation on the society is seriously being threatened by certain forces which has eroded and striped our children of morals and hardened their heart to all forms of correction from parents and elders in the society. In the word of Henry David Thoreau, There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root.

God Modelled Parenting present a true-north compass parenting model which showcases the principles, process and order through which our Heavenly Father parented Adam his first child. This model if aptly applied will serve as a solution to most parents at this time in order to raise children who will positively influence the world and society around them.

CHAPTER ONE

A FATHER WHO CARES

What is man, that thou art mindful of him...?

Psalms 8:4 KJV

I could remember my Mother struggling to answer my question when I was a little boy. After one Sunday service on our way home. As we walk through the clay road, I stopped and asked my mum, Mum who is God and why must I give my life to Him? My mum was so stunned by my question but she struggled to give me the best answer she can. I still remember her saying to me, God is a father who cares a lot for His children. I retorted saying but we left dad and he doesn’t seem to care. Mum said, God is not like that, He loves all His children no matter who they are and what they do. He will still loves and care for them; the more we live our life in-line with His word and pattern. He reveals Himself to us and shows us his unconditional love. This was many years ago but that word echoes in my heart whenever I doubt myself.

Maybe you are like me, in doubt of who God is and how could He be this and that. My dear, I was once like that too. To be candid, most people say God is a mystery but I believe nothing is a mystery. The only mystery is not knowing enough. Socrates once said My friend...care for your psyche...know thyself, for once we know ourselves, we may learn how to care for ourselves.  Socrates knew how important it is for man to understand himself. We probably did not take any subject in our primary school or college that sees the need for us to know ourselves but we did studied so much, didn’t we? We cannot understand the world around us until we understand ourselves, a true knowledge of ourselves is a necessity if we are ever going to have a true relationship with anybody. If you don’t know who you are, anybody can call you what you’re not.  I believe the sole essence of life is to embark on a journey to find oneself. You cannot bless the world with what you do not know. As we do not create ourselves (not every one, I did not), I believe the right person to ask this unnerving question would be the maker.

Nothing happens by chance, it is either created consciously or unconsciously.

Who is man? Man has been a major debate between evolutionary biologist, psychologist and management theorist of who or what drives man. Darwin, an evolutionary biologist, believe that man is like every other animal and are driven by evolution to pass on their genetic code to the next generation while Dawkins idea of what motivate man as he stated in his famous book The Selfish Gene is not man himself but the gene.

The worst way to know what or who a product is by asking the product itself or another product.- Myles Munroe

Sigmund Freud, a German psychoanalyst, introduce the idea of the unconscious and stated that the human motivation is hidden from our consciousness and he proposed that the major motivator of the unconscious is our libido - a person's sexual energy - while his student Carl Jung propose a different view when he stated that the real essence of life is individuation. Carl Jung asserted that the privilege of a lifetime is to become who we are truly. Abraham Maslow another psychologist believed what drives man is his needs. He listed this needs in his renowned hierarchy of needs. He opined that certain basic needs would have to be met before man can seek self-actualization – his idea support Carl Jung individuation which believes that the true purpose of man is for man to become everything he is capable of becoming.  Abraham Maslow later at the end of his life, made adjustment to his famous pyramid of hierarchy of needs, he stated that after the basic needs as been meant, the true essence of a life time is for man to find a purpose that is self-transcendence – to live a purpose that is mightier and higher than himself - to live a purpose that is divine and of a greater calling.

SURVIVING, SUCCEEDING AND LIVING PURPOSE

I had a chat with my friend recently; this helped clarify my view of surviving. She is very lucrative and able to turn anything including minute opportunity to money in virtually everything around her. In six months she has changed over four trades – bead making, frame making, interior decoration, and real estate. This is not to say she is confused but the burden of the economy made her strong and she is doing well surviving! Surviving is doing all we can to make it through on a daily basis. Surviving puts us constantly in the mad rush weathering the storm of life and changing our coping skills as we paddle our boat so as not to go over cliff as the current sweeps in on a daily basis. We are simply maintaining status quo –the mess we are in. As Abraham Maslow stated in his hierarchy of need. Until our primary needs are fulfilled, we cannot pursue the true essence of life. Meeting this primary needs is what I call surviving. Are you still surviving? Most of us are caught in this trap of surviving and the chains are so thin that we hardly notice we are where we are many years ago. What has changed about you since 5 years ago? You need to break away from the norm and go beyond the ordinary life needs to add that extra that will make your life an extraordinary life. You will not just pass on your gene to the next generation but also your memes – this include all your knowledge, learning, beliefs, culture, secrets, fears, failures and success.

According to Abraham Maslow, Success can be equated to self-actualization, which is the manifestation of self. It is simply the putting of your dexterity, skills and abilities into use. Succeeding, a lot of us are succeeding in our profession. We probably define success as a measure of our wealth and affluence. Success is the achievement of the result hoped for or wanted. We have constantly set goals and target for ourselves and when we achieve this objective, we automatically glow with joy as we have been able to achieve our stated target which is as a result of the skill sets we have learned and applied. One of my friends always says that success is relative and subjective. Being the richest man in the world might define success to you but to a primary school boy who scored A+ in an Algebra test. He can conclude that he has succeeded. Success in life is simply setting targets and meeting them! When we meet these targets we can conclude that we have succeeded. So, everyone has succeeded in one area or the other and we all celebrating one success or the other. So the next time someone asks you, Are you a success? Tell him or her of the various areas where you have succeeded - if you have ever set a target and meet it. Keep listing it. Have this in mind, this said target might be set by you or by another individual but the ones you set for you supersede the ones set by another person. As success is more personal and internally define by us than by others. Keep succeeding but the real question is, the devil also succeeded, didn’t he? Yes, the devil succeeded and many of his followers are succeeding in the wrong things? When purpose is not known abuse is sure inevitable, when you don’t know your purpose you’re going to sure use all your talents and gifting for the wrong course. You can succeed doing the wrong things in life. How did you know that you are meant to do what you are doing? We are all taught to dream big, wow! I did too, then, it hit me. Osama Bin Ladin did too likewise Hitler. How are you succeeding? 

Steve Jobs once said, If you are working on something exciting that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you. Self-transcendence, as I believe is living purpose, it is answering the call. It is possible to succeed in doing the wrong thing. Many have succeeded in life but the big question begging for answers, Are they fulfilling The Maker’s divine will for their lives? As the Bible clearly stated, You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail (Proverbs 19:21 NLT). This clearly shows that we can succeed in many areas of our lives but not truly living God’s purpose. God had a divine purpose for each and every one. It is not for some of us but for all of us. For we are God’s masterpiece. He created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do good things he planned for us long ago, God has a plan for you and had concluded it before you are born. Albert Einstein once said God doesn’t play dice, He doesn’t play games, you are not a trial and error, and you are not a game of chance or probability. I knew you before I formed you on your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you..., you were foreknown and your ends were written but it is in your rediscovery not creation. We sometime confuse success to living purpose. The Bible says, So He will do to me whatever He has planned. He controls my destiny. (Job 23:14 NLT). Our purpose in life is in the discovery of the intent of the maker for our lives not in our making. It is necessary we accept the divine purpose of God. The Bible said, What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be’? (Isaiah 43:9 NLT). God has formed us and only Him can determine our purpose by His divine purpose and will. It is God’s desire we lead in our area of gifting according to His eternal purpose. The Bible said, The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of His heart from generation to generation (Psalms 33:11 NASB)". Life is a futility and a daily struggle when we follow our own will instead of the divine purpose of God. Faithful is He that called us and He will do it. Only He can supply the resources needed for the fulfilment of His purpose, not you and not anyone. It is time we go back to Him and seek our purpose. Don’t be successful doing the wrong thing(s), find your part in the kingdom dominion plan and play it. Lives depend on it.

The management theorist also proposed different theories relating labour and production. Douglas McGregor proposed the X and Y theories of labour – X theory stated that employees generally dislike work while theory Y says that employees generally like work - while Fredrick Herzberg propose that certain factors are responsible for the satisfaction and dissatisfaction of man from his work.

All the above are merely a wild-goose chase - man trying to understand man. As Muhammed Ali once said If you look at a cup, can we say the cup made itself? If your answer is NO. Then Man did not make himself. If a cup cannot make itself, a phone cannot make itself, a pen cannot make itself, yet all this things are merely non-living things, then it is clear that man did not make himself. There is therefore, a manufacturer, a designer or a maker somewhere who must have made man and knows man more than man knows himself and only he, the maker, knows the true purpose of man. Every maker or manufacturer design every product starting with the purpose the product is made to serve in mind – starting with the end in mind.

"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone