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    Johnny Pepys, the Gangster Diaries
    Johnny Pepys, the Gangster Diaries
    Johnny Pepys, the Gangster Diaries
    Ebook52 pages28 minutes

    Johnny Pepys, the Gangster Diaries

    By Ronald Micci

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    About this ebook

    A small-time Capone hood named Johnny Pepys (“peeps,” after Samuel Pepys, the famous English diarist), is called upon to take dictation of the wounded kingpin’s memoirs, and soon finds himself caught between a deal he made with Bugsy Moran and Capone’s hostile and suspicious underlings. A humorous parody of The Untouchables. Stage Play (7m/3f) 45 min.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPublishdrive
    Release dateSep 10, 2016
    Johnny Pepys, the Gangster Diaries

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      Book preview

      Johnny Pepys, the Gangster Diaries - Ronald Micci

      Copyright 1997, 2002 by Ronald V. Micci

      Cover design by Carrie at cheekycovers.com

      eBooks created by www.ebookconversion.com

      CHARACTERS

      THE BAD GUYS:

      AL CAPONE, Chicago’s most notorious gangster

      JOHNNY PEPYS (Peeps, after Samuel Pepys, the British diarist), a skinny, toothpick-chewing Capone underling, 20s, who has been called upon to keep a diary

      ROCCO, one of Capone’s hoods

      BRUNO, ditto

      THE GOOD GUYS:

      ELIOT NESS, head Fed

      RICO, his associate

      CARLUCCI, likewise

      MOLLY SANDERS, an attractive policewoman, 30s, who must exert her charms on Pepys to obtain that diary

      EILEEN, a chorus girl smitten with Capone

      LOUISE, her friend, also a chorus girl

      SETTING

      Capone’s tenement hideout on Chicago’s South Side. The time is a spring morning of the Prohibition Era.

      The scene is a tenement flat on Chicago’s South Side and current residence of one ALPHONSE CAPONE, gangland’s most notorious hood. The big gefilte fish himself is laid up in bed recuperating from a gun battle, with his arm bandaged in a sling. JOHNNY PEPYS, a cocky, toothpick-chewing hood hardly out of his teens, steps forward, outfitted in slacks and guinea tee.

      PEPYS

      When I was a young kid, I used to write in my diary -- you know, it was something I did, like some kids collect postage stamps or build model airplanes.

      (beat)

      Well, one day not long ago, after I had started working for Mr. Alphonse Capone, the big gefilte fish himself, I get a call to come to his bedside. Do you believe -- me, Johnny Pepys, a nobody, a poor schlepola from the streets. And I get this call to come see Mr. Alphonse Capone, the big kingpin himself.

      (beat)

      Anyway, the deal was this -- poor old Mr. Capone had gotten himself shot up pretty bad in an ill-advised gun battle with the feds, and suddenly, feeling every bit his age and mortal after all, he decides maybe it’s a good time to dictate his life story, you know, in case he should suddenly go schmutz, for someone to put it down in a diary. And who do you think he chose for that someone? Yup, that’s right, little ole Johnny Pepys.

      (beat)

      Oh yeah, maybe I oughta introduce myself -- my name is Pepys, Johnny Pepys. Nice to meet you. And immediately I know what you’re thinking -- Pepys, what kind of a name is

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