Courage: 2015 - Year Eight - Heaton Extension Writers Anthology

The Last Dawn

by Aimee Norrie

The massive jumble of school kids surrounded me, and I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. It was so tightly squished that I had to push and shove my way through the crowd, trying my best to be invisible, because the pain of a hundred laughing students would be too much for me to handle. It’s easier when I’m at home—my parents usually ignore me, so I just stomp off to my room to contemplate my life.

I have always attempted to fit in at school, but with no success. It was sad really. A group of girls scowled at me as I elbowed past them. Sad. I ducked my head and pulled a lock of my dark hair out from behind my ear to cover my red face. Sad is an overused word. I think it worked, they’ve looked away. Everyone uses the word sad, and it always bounces back to people around them.

Sadness. Depression. Bitter. Heartbroken.

All these words swirl around in my head like a tornado of thoughts, occasionally striking me down, sometimes hitting my heart.

As if meant to be there to remind me of reality, the bell rang, echoing throughout the corridor. There’s time for thinking later, I scolded myself, tightly clenching the strap of my backpack. As I wandered into the classroom, someone pushed me and I stumbled, catching myself just in time.

Watch where you’re going, loser, a voice sneered. It was Ryan, captain of the football team. He’s got a huge grudge against me for no particular reason—just like every other person that I know, well, besides a few people, who I like to call ‘special cases’. Ryan’s cousin, Ella, is my only friend, but that doesn’t make a difference.

Oh, sorry, I snapped back sarcastically, my anger instantly taking over. I didn’t see you coming in from behind me.

He looked momentarily shocked, but quickly regained his composure. Well good for you, hun. I’ll remember that next time you try to sass me.

I’ll remember that next time you try to sass me. This is why I have never fitted in. Between sarcastic remarks and my short temper, there’s no way anyone would want to be friends with me. Well, except for Ella.

I’ve known Ella since I’ve moved to this town. Of course, that was two years ago and now I’ve started to worry that my parents are thinking about moving again, like the five other times we’ve moved—yet another reason why I don’t fit in.

Anyway, Ella is my best (and only) friend. To be honest, we’re complete opposites. I think the only time I’ve ever seen her being rude was when she got mad at our old science teacher because he called her a ‘dumb blonde’. We were doing a worksheet during science and Ella had finished early. When she’d taken it up to the teacher to get it marked, he had stared at her in shock for a moment, then said, I didn’t expect a dumb blonde to be finished first.

Ella’s cheeks had turned red in embarrassment. Half of the class snickered, remembering the number of times they had thought that about her too, but then shut up as she gave the teacher her iciest, coldest glare. His smirk had deflated for a second, then he’d opened his mouth to say something but Ella had already beaten him to it.

A ‘dumb blonde’, eh? she had snarled, tears glistening in her eyes. Speak for yourself. How many times a day do you go around stereotyping people? Just because my hair colour is blonde and the ‘apparent’ stereotype for people with blonde hair is that the person isn’t intelligent doesn’t mean, on any account, that the person is actually dumb.

The whole class had stared at her in shock and I had almost felt bad for the teacher, who still had his mouth open, gaping like star-struck fish. I… I’m sorry—

Don’t waste your breath. She snatched back the worksheet, her red cheeks stained with tears. Her fists were tightly clenched as she stormed out of the classroom. Maybe someone else can mark this for me! She shouted behind her. From where I watched as she stomped down the hallway, Ella’s whole body was visibly shaking, whether from anger or embarrassment I wasn’t sure, but there was one thing I was certain of: never mess with Ella.

Since then, everyone has avoided insulting her. The teacher learned a lesson as well. Ella went to the principal and he was sacked the next day. Apparently that wasn’t the first time he’d harassed students. But besides Ella’s skinny frame and petite features, she’s reasonably cool. I mean, she’s top of the class in every subject and could easily out-run at least half of the boys on the rugby team, so she’s not quite what you would expect from someone who barely comes up to an average sized adult elbow.

As Ella walked into class today, I noticed that there was a spring in her step. She had a cheerful smile and was wearing her usual ‘look of thoughtfulness’.

Hey, Dawn. She grinned, flashing me a wide smile as we took our places at our desks which were conveniently opposite each other. Did you complete that Inquiry project last night?

Of course I had. With all the spare time in the world on my hands, I’d aced it in about four hours, even if it wasn’t exactly perfect. Yeah, I completed it. Just about as easy as pie. Why do you ask?

Oh, no reason. Her smile seemed to be strained as she turned away and I realised my mistake. Ella was a person who took great pride in her achievements and wanted to help others who were ‘not as highly academically talented’ as she was.

Hey, Ella? I asked, wanting to try and resolve my mistake.

Yeah? She tried to sound bright and bubbly but failed miserably.

I just remembered, I forgot to do the conclusion. Can you help me? Her expression immediately changed.

Sure! We still have five minutes until the roll call, so why not? To tell you the truth, I spent almost half an hour making sure that my conclusion was properly written and proof-read, so I was just doing this for the sake of doing it.

Five minutes later, Ella and I had completed my conclusion and were scribbling down to-do lists for the day, as the teacher had instructed. Apparently this was supposed to help us keep track of the day and what we were supposed to be doing.

Now class, our teacher, Miss Darcy called, standing at the whiteboard in front of the classroom. The room was very small, with only just enough room to fit in twenty-three desks (not including the teacher’s), a floor space for ‘The Mat’ as everyone called it, and a bookshelf with atlases and maths equipment. You should’ve all finished your Inquiry presentations, so I expect them to be handed in. We will present them tomorrow. In the meantime, we shall go over the day. But first, roll call.

I glanced at the large clock that sat on the wall above the door, yearning for it to be interval, even though we were only ten minutes into first block.

My name was quite far down the list, since my last name started with ‘P’, so I just relaxed, watching the world go by. What could possibly go wrong? Little did I know, A LOT can go wrong in one day.

It was lunchtime when the problems started occurring. I was sitting next to Ella underneath a tree, chewing on the piece of apple I’d just bitten off when one of the other students in my class beckoned to her.

Sorry, she told me. I need to go—I completely forgot about my trial for the Volleyball team! She hurried off, leaving me to sit by myself.

Sighing, I glanced at the rainfall of Autumn leaves as they cascaded down from the tree above me. It was beautiful, watching the reds and the oranges mix together in one swirling pattern.

Ooh, look! Ryan shrieked from a nearby bench. He was joined by a cacophony of laughter from three other voices: his twin sister Anastasia and their friends Jack and Caroline. Dawn is a loner!

Ignoring him, I continued to bite into my apple, focusing more on the juicy flavour than their mean voices and rude comments. That is, until they said something that made me stop in my tracks. I bet she cheats on all of the homework we get! I mean, with a brainiac for a friend, she probably gets after-school tutoring.

And that’s when I snapped. You think that just because Ella is top of the class and my friend that she helps me? I cried, glaring at the group who were nudging each other and snickering. I bet your parents have to bring a year thirteen student in to help you get through your homework! Oh wait, I bet he does it for you!

The laughing stopped. All heads swivelled to look at us, and almost everyone was muttering to each other. Ryan stood up, Jack and Anastasia flanking him on either side, while Caroline pulled out her phone, ready to record the entire thing and post it on social media. I was about to become the laughing stock of everyone in the school. Where were the teachers? I thought glancing around. Must be drinking coffee in the staff room. I stood up, arms folded and sent them each a glare.

You really think that a wimp like you could stand up to me? Ryan said, his voice almost inaudible due to how quietly he was talking. Me, the captain of the football team, my sister and my best friend? How pathetic. He spat out the word ‘pathetic’ like it was unpleasant on his tongue.

You know who’s the pathetic one here? I laughed bitterly, taking a step closer towards the trio. You. I doubt that your ‘friends’ were even willing to be your friends. I bet that you had to pay them. So much easier, isn’t it? But money can’t buy real friendship.

Ryan’s eyes narrowed. He ran a hand through his spiky brown hair and smirked at me, icy blue eyes like frost. Hun, you realise that everyone hates you. Ella is only your friend because she feels sorry for you. I bet that even your parents hate you. And all your teachers, relatives, practically anyone who knows you, think’s that you’re just a waste of space.

The back of my eyes stung. I knew that I was about to cry, because everything he said was true.

You’re a nobody, Dawn, and it’s time you noticed that.

My eyes burned. Tears streamed down my face and my body shook. Everyone started laughing and the world blurred together. Ryan was right. My parents didn’t love me, the students at school hated me, and I really was a nobody. There was nothing that could fix that.

Ella once told me that I needed to find a place—one happy place, where I could be free. That place had been hard to find, but eventually I’d decided on it. Every time someone annoyed or bullied me, I would run to that place and soak up the fresh sense of home. But my happy place was back at my house, in my bedroom. I couldn’t reach it now, so where should I go?

All I remembered was pushing a door shut behind me and locking it. I sat curled up in a toilet cubicle, crying my eyes out while the world continued on around me. Long after the end of lunch bell rang, I stopped crying and went out into the main bathroom. There was a mirror above one of the sinks, and when I peered at my reflection, I wanted to scream. My face was like a zombie; tear stained and eyes swollen red. Hurriedly, I turned on the tap and splashed water on my face. Once I was decent, I used my fingers to comb through my rat’s nest of hair, and then headed back out.

The corridor was deserted. I walked to the coat bay and grabbed my bag, slinging it over my shoulder before heading out of the school. No one would care. When I came back tomorrow—if I could bear to turn up—I’d just say that I felt sick and I went home. Yeah, that’s right.

I usually took the bus home, but today I decided to walk, since it wasn’t even three o’clock yet. It took about an hour to get to my house—a pretty average place with neatly mowed lawns, a silver car parked up the driveway, a clean paint job—just what you would expect from an average family.

Taking a deep gulp of fresh air, I climbed the front stair and unlocked the door. Once inside, I made my way to my room, but paused halfway up the stairs when I heard a wailing, crying sound. My protective instinct kicked in and I ran back down the stairs and hurried into my younger brother Josh’s room.

Josh was probably the only person in my family who liked me, but he didn’t really count since he was only eight and practically the ‘glue’ of the family. My parents were extremely close to getting a divorce when I was around three, because my mom was sick of my dad always working. But then she discovered that she was pregnant with Josh and they decided that they would stay together—for Josh’s sake. But ever since, my mother has hated me. She always looks down at me like I’m a disgusting monster, a spider perhaps, and turned away. I can’t remember the last time she was nice to me because she actually wanted to be. She’s always nice to Josh, so why can’t she be nice to me just one time?

Josh? I asked, opening the door to his bedroom. Are you okay…?

D—Dawn! he wailed, curled up into a ball on his bed.

Shh, hey Little J, I soothed, sitting next to him and stroking his hair. Why are you crying?

Be… because Mom won’t t… tell me w… where Nibbles i… is!

Nibbles is our family cat, and probably the most understanding cat anyone could ask for. I remember sad nights where I would start crying into his fur and then just lie with him on my bed and sob about why my parents hated me. He would just sit and listen, his green eyes scrunched up in a comforting way, purring.

Nibbles? I asked, fear stabbing at my heart. Leaping to my feet, I dashed out of the room and into the kitchen, where a bundle of blankets was lying on the table. Mom! I shouted. Where’s Nibbles?

Oh Dawn, she cooed sympathetically, trying her best to seem solemn. I could still see the evil glint in her eye. As I was coming home from picking up Josh, I saw him lying on the road. There was nothing I could do. Her expression said it all.

I couldn’t breathe. My lungs screamed for air as I started to choke, my vision becoming blurred with tears that were freely falling down my face. N… no, I sobbed, burying my face into my hands. No! It, it can’t b… be! He c… can’t be g… gone!

I’m sorry, sweetheart, she soothed. It was just an act. There was no other explanation for it.

It was you! I screamed, rounding on her. I bet you killed him! You knew he was getting old and as you saw him lying on the road, you sped up and ran him down! You monster!

Dawn, my mother said. Her voice was like knives, aiming and hitting the bull’s-eye—me. I can assure you that I did not lay a finger on Nibbles. You’ve just had a hard day at school.

I put my hands on my hips and gave her a glare. Her eyes only narrowed. So it was you then! I cried, pointing a finger at her accusingly.

Dawn, it’s rude to point—

Just shut up! I yelled, pressing my fingers to my temples.

My mother pursed her lips. Go to your room. She said quietly, so quietly I almost didn’t catch it.

What? I demanded, making sure that I had heard the right thing.

I said go to your room! She pulled her hand back at slapped me across the face so hard, tears stung in my eyes.

You don’t care! I sobbed, clutching my throbbing cheek as I retreated out of the door. You don’t even love me enough to care! I ran back down the hallway and thundered up the stairs, then to my room where I slammed the door shut.

My happy place should’ve been here, I thought, plonking myself down on my bed and burying my face into my pillow, but it was gone, and it wasn’t coming back. In that one moment, I learned something about me that I had been waiting for years to find out—my major weakness.

I didn’t even go into the kitchen for dinner. All I did was peel off my school uniform and hang it up before hopping into my pyjamas and clambering into bed. My room was probably the smallest bedroom that you could ever imagine. It was originally an office, but as soon as Josh was born I moved up here. The entire room could only just squeeze in a bookshelf, a windowsill, a bed and a chest of drawers. No desk, chair or even a table. That’s why I preferred to sit on the small perch against the window, staring outside at the driveway. Even though it’s tiny, this was still my one happy place, but not any more.

In the morning, after my alarm clock rang, I got up and finally left my room to have a shower. My parents usually had their showers half an hour before me, so there wouldn’t be anyone in the bathroom. I closed and locked the door before grabbing my white towel off the rack, a comb and the bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Turning the water up, just how I liked it, I waited and stared at my reflection in the mirror.

A brown-eyed girl stared back at me. Her messy hair was tied up clumsily and there was a faded slap mark on one freckle-covered cheek. She looked tired, with bags under her eyes and a slouch in her posture, but other than that, she looked human.

I sighed. This was going to be a lot harder than I had originally thought. Peeling off my clothes I jumped into the shower, letting