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    The Strange Tail Of Oddzilla
    The Strange Tail Of Oddzilla
    The Strange Tail Of Oddzilla
    Ebook156 pages1 hour

    The Strange Tail Of Oddzilla

    By Lori R. Lopez

    ()

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    About this ebook

    A gang of pirates nab Oddzilla for their traveling Monster Carnival. He thought he had problems, but that’s where his troubles truly begin . . . with the evil Captain Snydely Wick and Morris Crudd, as well as his fellow oddballs and oddities who compete to be the oddest. Until he meets his Number One Fan.

    Lori R. Lopez — author of THE DARK MISTER SNARK, THE FAIRY FLY, AN ILL WIND BLOWS and more — has created an “oddyssey” of wordplay and wit for all ages. THE STRANGE TAIL OF ODDZILLA presents an absurd fable bursting with whimsy and melancholy and puns. In fact, the main character is practically a pun, isn’t he? There probably isn’t a sensible word in it either, so it wouldn’t make a lot of sense to read this book.

    If you feel you must, you can enjoy the very unusual artwork by the author!

    THE STRANGE TAIL OF ODDZILLA received First Places for Young Adult Fiction and Humor from Royal Dragonfly Book Awards 2018 (2nd Edition); Honorable Mentions for Best Cover, Best Illustrations, Best Humor from the 2017 Purple Dragonfly Book Awards (1st Edition).

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLori R. Lopez
    Release dateFeb 17, 2018
    ISBN9781370645015
    The Strange Tail Of Oddzilla
    Author

    Lori R. Lopez

    Lori R. Lopez wears many hats as an Author and Speculative Poet of Horror, Fantasy, Suspense, Humor and more. She illustrates her books and has written songs, while being an Activist for animals and children. Growing up, Lori roamed graveyards and conducted funerals for dead birds, squirrels, insects and spiders. Her offbeat books include The Dark Mister Snark, Leery Lane, An Ill Wind Blows, Darkverse: The Shadow Hours, Odds & Ends, and The Fairy Fly. In 2023 Lori won Third Place in the Long Category for the SFPA Poetry Contest for "Wake Unto Death". Her Poetry Collection Darkverse was nominated for an Elgin Award and a Finalist in the Kindle Book Awards. Her poems "Crop Circles" and "Nocturnal Embers" were nominated for the Rhysling Award in 2020, "Social Graces" and "The Whistle Stop" in 2021, "Biting Sarcasm" in 2022, "The Whippoorwill" and "If Houses Could Talk" in 2023. Poems "The Maw" and "creatures of the macabre" received Editor's Choice Awards among other honors. Stories and verse have appeared in The Sirens Call, The Horror Zine, Space & Time, Spectral Realms, JOURN-E, Weirdbook, Bewildering Stories, Dreams & Nightmares, Impspired, Altered Reality, Aphelion, and anthologies such as California Screamin' (the Foreword Poem), HWA Poetry Showcases II, III, V, VI, and IX, Journals Of Horror, Grey Matter Monsters, Dead Harvest, Fearful Fathoms I, Terror Train I and II, Trickster's Treats #3, Speculations III (Weird Poets Society), and In Darkness We Play. A member of the Horror Writers Association, Science Fiction & Fantasy Poetry Association, and Lewis Carroll Society Of North America. Visit the Fairy Fly Entertainment Website Lori shares with her two talented sons, and their YouTube Channel @FairyFly. They have a Folk Band called The Fairyflies.

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      Book preview

      The Strange Tail Of Oddzilla - Lori R. Lopez

      The Strange Tail Of ODDZILLA

      (Not To Be Confused With Godzilla)

      A Tale Of Nonsense And Trifles

      (Not To Be Confused With Truffles)

      Something For Everyone

      Written and illustrated by

      Anonymous

      Also known as

      Lori R. Lopez

      You probably haven’t heard of her.

      Oh, one thing . . .

      If you don’t mind my asking . . .

      Are you old enough to read this?

      You might need help.

      Don’t be afraid to ask!

      We all need help now and then.

      Some of us more than others.

      (Not for little kids.)

      (Except the little-kid parts.)

      Fairy Fly Entertainment

      All rights reserved

      No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any

      media without written permission from the author, except

      brief excerpts in critical reviews and articles.

      This is a work of fiction. Any and all references to real persons, events, and places are used fictitiously. Other characters, names, places, events and details are fabrications of the author’s imagination; any such resemblance to actual places, events or persons, whether living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

      Copyright © 2016 by Lori R. Lopez

      Artwork by Lori R. Lopez

      Cover Design by Fairy Fly Entertainment

      Author Photo by Fairy Fly Entertainment

      Illustrated E-Book Edition (EPUB)

      Table Of Contents

      The Strange Tail Of ODDZILLA

      Table Of Contents

      The Strange Tail Of ODDZILLA

      About the author and artist

      More works by Lori R. Lopez

      This is a story about being Odd. A monster named Oddzilla, to be precise, who dreams of being normal. Even worse, he crawled from a pot of Anything Soup. It’s his first day of being monstrous, and he has been rejected both by people and the other monsters. He converses with the Moon and a Library, who further reject him. While trying to find his place in the world, he gets kicked out of Welcome for being too weird. Then things really get odd!

      A gang of pirates nab Oddzilla for their traveling Monster Carnival. He thought he had problems, but that’s where his troubles truly begin . . . with the evil Captain Snydely Wick and Morris Crudd, as well as his fellow oddballs and oddities who compete to be the oddest. Until he meets his Number One Fan. Lori R. Lopez — author of The Dark Mister Snark, The Fairy Fly, An Ill Wind Blows and more — has created an oddyssey of wordplay and wit for all ages. The Strange Tail Of Oddzilla presents an absurd fable bursting with whimsy and melancholy and puns. In fact, the main character is practically a pun, isn’t he? There probably isn’t a sensible word in it either, so it wouldn’t make a lot of sense to read this book.

      The Strange Tail Of Oddzilla received First Places for Young Adult Fiction and Humor from Royal Dragonfly Book Awards 2018.

      Dedicated to

      that awkward creature

      who lurks within us all . . .

      and

      For Geri Small-Graham,

      my friend;

      I won’t forget you.

      The Strange Tail Of ODDZILLA

      It seems that when I try to write Nonsense

      I do it badly, but when I don’t try to

      write it, the nonsense flows.

      ~ Lori R. Lopez

      Some fables are told for the very young, while other tales are for the tall in age, and then there are stories that shoot for the years between, but this is for large and small and all the rest, as long as you have two ears. Well, even one will do, or how about a pair of eyes? A single orb would be fine, in fact. Or at least a mind. Everyone has a brain, right? Unless you’re a scarecrow, I guess. You’re not, are you? I have nothing against scarecrows, regardless if you are or you aren’t one. It’s hunky-dory and okey-dokey if strawfolks follow the best they can: skipping and tripping. But try not to rustle, it could distract.

      Where was I?

      Some stories are so short they fit neatly in your pocket like lint and spare buttons, or the mysterious white packets you should never consume. They’re called pocketbooks. This isn’t one of those. Others develop teeth and nails and tails and flounce away to eat Pittsburgh! This is that one — the story with an appetite. We just don’t know for what . . . (It isn’t Pittsburgh.)

      A note to children:

      Unless an encyclopedia is your choice of a bedtime story, you probably won’t be able to read all of these words yet. My advice is to keep trying until you can, like riding a bike. Ask someone older and more experienced for help when you stumble or don’t understand. Never give up! It takes a lot of practice to read this well. I will do my best to simplify and summarize it for you here and there, interpreting the gist.

      For the youngest, listen as someone bigger tells you Oddzilla’s incredibly quirky tail (which is, in truth, the most normal thing about him) and enjoy what you may. That is how stories were told before there were books — in other words and aloud. Fairytales are still told by many different tongues.

      Now that we’ve sorted out who this is for, because for some reason it seems to matter in the world of books, although I prefer to write mine for a broader range . . . let us get on with the story itself, which is what matters the most.

      I shall be your Narrator, since every yarn needs one to unravel its threads of whatsits and howsabouts. Every story needs a voice. There are those who think otherwise and wish to be whisked along without being conscious that they are reading and need to turn the pages, which is like forgetting you need to keep breathing. Your face will probably go blue, your eyes cross, and your tongue get tied up in knots like hair in the wind. And what is the point of reading if you are not even aware of it? You may as well stop and do something else. A book will speak to you. Let it in. Open your ears, your mind, your heart and soul. Reading is a wonderful thing, a marvelous act. If it weren’t, there would not be so many books and so many readers who love them! The sad part is, there are some truly remarkable yet lonely books that should be loved and are unknown, or have been forgotten. Sorry, I must pause to wring my hanky. I’ll try not to shed any tears on the page or the words could run and spill off, then flow down the street to a storm drain and out to sea, or somewhere far away, and you will not know what I am saying because it will be gone.

      A book’s voice is softer than a whisper. It can also resonate in your head, bouncing around, converted into thoughts and word paintings. It might even sculpt monumental ideas in your mind, engraving the grandest of quotes or etching cute phrases you cherish. It can stomp inside your brain and stamp a deep set of tracks, embedding the footprints of indelible pictures and notions. Unless the book is read out loud, but that’s another voice entirely. That is a parent’s voice. Or a teacher, a librarian, an author. Even a child. It is a reader’s voice. Mine comes directly from the storyteller’s mouth, straight from a fountain of inspiration. It is kind of amazing, and you won’t want to miss it so pay close attention!

      Ahem. Just clearing my throat. Yes, I do have one. It holds my tonsils and punching-bag thingy. I would be at a loss without those, wouldn’t I? Or would I? Maybe I’m merely a figment of the author’s mental state, or imagination. But I do wonder about things. We figments are a lot like you, although you can’t pinch us. You can, however, make us feel conspicuous. Please don’t stare too hard.

      Here goes. The beginning, as opposed to preambling. Which amounts to walking in place before an adventure.

      This is a story about being Odd, which is short for Oddzilla. Perhaps you’ve heard of him? If not, you must have missed the title. If you did, you might have missed something else and I suggest you start over, just in case. (Note to self: Make the title big. Extremely big.)

      Speaking of size, as if it were a subject of any import or export, I can’t forget about the anklebiters — who will surely nip my socks and toes should I attempt it. The wee darlings and dears may not even be able to keep up, their hands flipping too slowly through the Dictionary. I shall need to allow for them.

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