Grandpa, Did You Just Punch the Devil in the Face?: I Hate Zombies
()
About this ebook
Scotland is about to be invaded by the most foul demon known to mankind (also womankind, I think).
The only problem is, the only man who can stop the attack is a crazy old man who talks to pigeons, and thinks Abba are still a thing.
Yeah, I would cancel your flight to Edinburgh this summer.
Read more from Shantnu Tiwari
All Aboard, the Zombie Express Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Dame Who Loved Me Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsInto the Heart of Madness Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMy Car Broke Down in Front of a Haunted House Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsYou Can Be A Super Villain! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsShiki's Last Choice Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJourney to CotoPaxy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStop Hating Your Job And Take Control Of Your Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDude Go Back to Your Grave Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDescent into Madness Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Case of the AI Suicide Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsYou Are Invited To a Murder Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAboard the Ghost Train Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChilling Ghost Tales Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTeddy Bear and the Case of the Last Slice of Pizza: Detective Teddy Bear Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFunny & Stupid Stories (That No One Should Read) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIt Was Windy the Day My Wife Died Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Ghost Train Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTales of Hope, Tales of Despair Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSorry Miss, But I Can’t Solve Your Murder: Mad Detective Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Ghost Train in Scotland Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMy Mirror Wants To Kill Me: Mad Detective Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Moon Was Shining Bright When They Killed Me: The Defeated Detective Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPink vs the Vampire Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTales of Supernatural Horror Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLord of the Paper Clips Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Ghost Highway To Scotland: End of the World Detective Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRSVP Murder Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSupernatural Crime Tales #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Grandpa, Did You Just Punch the Devil in the Face?
Titles in the series (10)
Zombie Dude, Don’t Eat Me Bro: I Hate Zombies, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dude, My Boss is Evil (Also, He’s a Zombie): I Hate Zombies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsZombies Got Your Girlfriend: I Hate Zombies, #3 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings3 Zombie Hunters In A Boat (To Say Nothing Of The Dog): I Hate Zombies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsZombies vs Dragons: I Hate Zombies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAttack of the Ninja Jihadi Russian Gangster Zombies (Also, What I did in my Summer Holidays): I Hate Zombies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGrandpa, Did You Just Punch the Devil in the Face?: I Hate Zombies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Demon That Loved Me (and Wanted to Eat Me): I Hate Zombies Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5You F'ing Zombies: I Hate Zombies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Piggy Monster That (Didn’t) Love Me: I Hate Zombies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related ebooks
The Red Cap Case File: Remixed Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRupee Millionaires: Frank's Travel Memoirs, #5 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Old Fart Secret Agent: The life cycle of Anders Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAdventure into the Unknown Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJust Kill Me Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Local Legend: Death bonded them. Life divided them. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPig Farm Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDead Letter Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5F*cking Up Adulthood Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Six Minute Louvre Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBallroom Fever Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNaked: Completed Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Moonshine Wars: Or My Life in Kincaid, Georgia by Terry Lee Kincaid Iii Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPortrait of a Young Man Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDark Secrets Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDark Jaws: A Mike Angel Mystery Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Troubles of Johnny Cannon Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsConfessions of the Oak Beach Drifter Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsInto the Attic Darkly Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Necklace (The Kate Brady Series Book 3) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhispering Corridors Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGlobalocity: The Adventures of Raymond Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTwo Hearts Vulnerable Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Adventures of Bad Boy Billy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRun Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Gossip: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Stolen Hearts Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Lost Robot: A Sky Tate Short Story Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMy Man Jeeves Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5From Rock Bottom Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Horror Fiction For You
Hidden Pictures: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5It Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5H. P. Lovecraft Complete Collection Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dracula Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Watchers: A thrilling Gothic horror soon to be a major motion picture Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Ocean at the End of the Lane: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Outsider: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Whisper Man: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Holly Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Edgar Allan Poe Complete Collection - 120+ Tales, Poems Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Mist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Brother Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Slewfoot: A Tale of Bewitchery Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Last Days Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Annihilation: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Best Friend's Exorcism: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Weiser Book of Horror and the Occult: Hidden Magic, Occult Truths, and the Stories That Started It All Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Authority: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Troop Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5We Have Always Lived in the Castle Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pet Sematary Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Leave the World Behind: A Read with Jenna Pick Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Hell House: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Heart Is a Chainsaw Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Needful Things Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Deep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Revival: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Pale Blue Eye: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5John Dies at the End Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Misery Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for Grandpa, Did You Just Punch the Devil in the Face?
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Grandpa, Did You Just Punch the Devil in the Face? - Shantnu Tiwari
1
It all started in the summer of 1956. Back when men were men, women were women, cows were cows, and the horses were sometimes also cows .
Yes siree, Bob, dem were interestin’ times.
An alliance of werewolves, vampires, demons, Republicans, Mormons, Chthulu worshippers all got together and said, Yee-haw! We are going to destroy democracy, boy!
Shake wants to know why I’m talking like an American hilly billy. He assures me that, having spent all my life in middle England, I’m as qualified to write about Americans as an American trying to pull an English accent, like Dick van Dyke did in Mary Poppins.
I tell him to shut up. My book, my rules.
Besides, the man who told me this story was from America. Sort of. A parallel America, where progress had stopped in the Middle Ages, where everyone carried guns and shot at each other for no reason, where there was great social injustice, and where the rich trampled the poor under their expensive 200 dollars a pair Jimmy Blue shoes.
A lot like modern America, then.
Well, not really. In this parallel America, people rode around on horses like cowboys and the police didn’t go around shooting black teenagers, mainly because the black teenagers knew voodoo and would turn them into zombie slaves if they tried.
So yeah, they were slightly better than modern America. Not only because they didn’t have racism, but also because people rode around on horses and there was no pollution.
Shake wants me to get on with the story. I tell him to shut up. He’s not even in the story. Except for small parts.
So this story starts after the disastrous (or not so disastrous) attack of the Russian Gangster Jihadi Ninja Zombies, who caused a lot of problems for Britain, but still less than what the average politician and banker does every weekend.
So there we were, tired of fighting zombies, wanting a break. Well, there I was. Pink had gotten a job as a top paid banker and Shake had just gotten a recording gig. They were both on their way to greatness.
And I had just fired from a job handing out flyers for a new sex shop selling vegetable-themed dildos. Evidently, opening a sex shop near a church and a primary school was a bad idea. Who knew?
Life couldn’t have gotten any lower. I didn’t want to feel jealous of my friends, but I did. I feel ashamed of it now, but a part of me wondered why they had everything made, when I was still the loser about twenty pounds seventeen pence away from moving in with his mother. That is, I only had twenty pounds seventeen pence in my bank account, and if those ran out, I’d be homeless. I’d have to move in with my mom.
It wasn’t all bad. We were staying with