Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Generic Mystery
    Generic Mystery
    Generic Mystery
    Ebook103 pages1 hour

    Generic Mystery

    By B.P. Kasik

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    The greatest mystery of all time! A tale of missing persons, murder, mistaken identity, microfilm, and a private detective who's on the case like a thing that is on another thing!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherB.P. Kasik
    Release dateMar 12, 2018
    ISBN9781370548361
    Generic Mystery
    Author

    B.P. Kasik

    B.P. Kasik is the author of dozens of humor, horror, YA, mystery, fantasy, and/or science fiction books. Has a wife and kids. Is on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and a blog somewhere. Also known as “Phony McFakename.” Thinks about you every now and then. Hopes you’re doing well.

    Read more from B.P. Kasik

    Related to Generic Mystery

    Related ebooks

    Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      The Return Of… EMILY SEARS

      Apr 27, 2022

      The Return Of… EMILY SEARS
      8 min read

    • Article

      The Return Of… EMILY SEARS

      Apr 27, 2022

      The Return Of… EMILY SEARS
      8 min read

    • Article

      Para

      Oct 15, 2021

      Once, I saw an alien—is something I wish I could say. For me, the possibility of extraterrestrials has always held a certain brilliance. Child-me at times wondered whether I was really from space, if only because the idea of being human seemed absurd

      15 min read

    • Article

      Ben Marcus

      Jun 15, 2018

      My wife, Gin, once knocked gently on my head, as if it were a door. “Hello,” she kept saying. “Hello. Who’s in there?” She and our therapist, Dr. Sherby, laughed a little about this, so I did, too. What fun. Keep knocking on my head like that, like i

      23 min read

    • Article

      Finding The Words

      Jun 3, 2023

      Finding The Words
      5 min read

    • Article

      The SHAME Game

      Dec 16, 2021

      The SHAME Game
      9 min read

    • Article

      The Creative Hero’s Journey: 5 Reasons You Should Write Your Book, Paint Your Picture, Sing Your Song

      Dec 9, 2021

      Estimated reading time: 10 minutes — I used to be a professional disease hunter, a board-certified surgical pathologist. I was the M.D. in a white coat who stared at your skin (or breast, brain or bone, etc.) biopsy under the microscope and let your

      6 min read

    • Article

      Ask A Silly Question

      Aug 5, 2022

      I SIT IN THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE. He asks: “So, when did you know?” I say: “Always.” Because I’ve heard that simplicity gets results. It is one phrase that has spanned my lifetime. No matter what setting, country or occasion, it remains un defeatable. Li

      12 min read

    • Article

      Humane Nature

      Jul 20, 2021

      Humane Nature
      16 min read

    • Article

      Final Determination

      May 10, 2023

      Living people get a lot wrong about the After Life. It isn’t binary Heaven or Hell but a spectrum where most people end up somewhere better than their Earthly life. There’s also a state of Abeyance where you stay if you have unfinished business. For

      12 min read

    • Article

      Finding The Words

      Jun 2, 2023

      Finding The Words
      5 min read

    • Article

      How to Talk to a Loved One Who Is Suffering

      Apr 15, 2017

      IN THE EARLY weeks after Dave died, I was shocked when I’d see friends who did not ask how I was doing. I felt invisible, as if I were standing in front of them but they couldn’t see me. When someone shows up with a cast, we immediately inquire, “Wha

      4 min read

    • Article

      Prey

      May 10, 2021

      As I drove slowly towards the mob of angry protestors and my meeting with 200, I thought of 199. The ashes of a once hard man, staring at me with wide eyes that pleaded for hope like a dog begging for treats. I’d somehow found a way to give him that

      41 min read

    • Article

      Oh, What A Lonely Boy

      Mar 12, 2021

      Oh, What A Lonely Boy
      8 min read

    • Article

      Oh, Lonely What A Boy

      Mar 12, 2021

      Oh, Lonely What A Boy
      8 min read

    • Article

      Prey

      Mar 10, 2024

      As I drove slowly toward the mob of angry protestors and my meeting with 200, I thought of 199. The ashes of a once hard man, staring at me with wide eyes that pleaded for hope like a dog begging for treats. I’d somehow found a way to give him that h

      41 min read

    • Article

      A Brand-new ending

      Jan 29, 2022

      A Brand-new ending
      7 min read

    • Article

      But Am I Really Asexual?

      Feb 24, 2023

      But Am I Really Asexual?
      2 min read

    • Article

      For All Ages

      Oct 10, 2022

      For All Ages
      4 min read

    • Article

      Words Are A Way Through

      Jun 2, 2022

      Words Are A Way Through
      6 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Generic Mystery

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Generic Mystery - B.P. Kasik

      PROLOGUE

      So there I was, trapped!

      This case had led me into dangerous territory—dangerous even for a veteran investigator like me!—and now the pot of danger boiled over and I was captured by the bad guy.

      The perp’s weapon was trained on me and I was strapped to a chair. (It was a wooden chair, if you’re curious.)

      If anything, this taught me that I needed to be more careful about what patients I accepted at my therapy practice.

      The Pandora’s Box that was opened up by one troubled patient had unleashed a storm of troubles on me.

      And I knew I’d made a miscalculation or two in my investigation, but hoo boy, this really blew up in my face.

      Just like the weapon that was about to blow up in my face.

      I knew there was nothing more I could say. I’d stated my case and the perp would not listen to reason.

      As the weapon was held steady and moved closer and closer to my noggin, it looked like my doom was sealed for good.

      No way was I getting out of this one.

      I’d always escaped or been rescued from cliffhanger situations like this before, but I was definitely toast this time.

      Truly, this was a tight spot that would not be wormed out of.

      My number was up.

      My ticket was about to be punched.

      How did it come to this? I asked myself.

      And can I answer my own question in 20,000 words or less?

      1

      Let’s find out!

      I wasn’t always a detective/therapist hybrid. I was once a loud-and-proud full-time Social Justice Warrior.

      And I’m not sorry. I’m not even sorry not sorry.

      I got in arguments, I corrected people, and I checked privilege all over the place, online and IRL.

      Whenever anyone asked me my sex or gender, I stared at them until they nervously changed the subject.

      Actually, I still do that. Androgyny suits me. And I’ve already death-stared so many folks around town who dared to ask, no one asks anymore. Staying gender-neutral keeps away the dames and dudes who want to waste my time while there’s detecting and/or psychologizing to do.

      But for the most part, those days are behind me. I’ve come to believe that I can do my best work as a detective/psychiatrist by leaving the social justice work to the younger crowd. I fought the good fight, now it’s up to them to carry the torch.

      Oh, and I hate clowns. That will come up later.

      So as you see, I’m a thoughtful, well-adjusted person. It’s possible I maybe think about things a lot more than you. That every action I take in life is better-measured and more carefully considered than you. Yes, I’ve been told that I’m smart and clever and unique.

      But I’m also humble, and willing to share my accumulated wisdom with you, along with giving you a cracking good mystery story to chew on with your brain teeth.

      Your thanks are pre-emptively appreciated. And you’re very welcome in advance!

      2

      In case you feel any strange feelings as you read this work of literary mystery literature, please know that that feeling you’re feeling will be cognitive dissonance. I will have induced it in you. I’m probably inducing it in you right now. Because in addition to being a master of human psychology, I’m also a trained hypnotist.

      As long as you behave yourself and read my book in peace and don’t hurt anyone, we’ll get along just fine and I won’t be forced to hypnotize you into barking like a dog.

      I almost never do that anymore. Though I MAY hypnotize someone in the story to come…(wink)

      In the meantime, let me just give you a little taste of what I was like in the past.

      Turn the page, if you dare…

      3

      An undisclosed number of years ago…

      I was sitting on a bench on a major thoroughfare in my small town one sunny day, thinking deep thoughts and being remarkable.

      When all of a sudden, a stranger approached me.

      This stranger sat by my side. This person had long hair and wore facial makeup and a red dress, but I would not presume to assume this person’s gender, so I will not say this was a she.

      This person said, Hello.

      And I said, Hello. But we should be aware that ‘Hello’ is the name of a very emotional song by the artist Adele. And even the mention of that song can trigger painful memories in individuals, so we must exercise caution when using that microaggressive word.

      This person in the red dress said, Okay. So how should I greet you? Is ‘hi’ okay?

      Not while prescription drug abuse is running so rampant in our modern society! Opioid addiction is no laughing matter. We never know who might be ‘high’ at any given time. And ‘hi’ is phonetically equal to that word, thus turning what was once an inoffensive salutation into a potentially unpleasant, inappropriate thing to say to someone in case they actually happen to be ‘high.’

      The red dress-clad stranger was silent for a while. How about nodding as a greeting?

      I pondered this with my considerable intellect. A nod is acceptable. Though you should be careful in doing so, because some individuals are unable to move their necks and thus a movement of the head can be interpreted as a mocking of their inability to do so.

      The person in the red dress checked her watch and looked up and down the street. So I suppose it’s best if we just don’t acknowledge each other at all?

      I blanched. "Well, that wouldn’t be very

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1