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    A Rainy Day Reader: 100 Poems for Your Enjoyment
    A Rainy Day Reader: 100 Poems for Your Enjoyment
    A Rainy Day Reader: 100 Poems for Your Enjoyment
    Ebook211 pages1 hour

    A Rainy Day Reader: 100 Poems for Your Enjoyment

    By Stan Paregien, Sr

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    About this ebook

    A RAINY DAY READER contains 100 poems by Stan Paregien. The poems range from the serious to the hillariously funny, from those with an academic bent to those with little redeeming social value (except for a smile or two). Great for that rainy day read. Poems include "N. Scott Momaday: A Literary Legend," "Had Any Lately?," "My Banker Ain't No Friend of Mine," "Cat Heaven," & "Smart Pills."

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherStan Paregien, Sr
    Release dateApr 3, 2014
    ISBN9781310912474
    A Rainy Day Reader: 100 Poems for Your Enjoyment
    Author

    Stan Paregien, Sr

    Stan Paregien Sr was born in Wapanucka (Johnston County), Oklahoma to Harold and Evelyn (Cauthen) Paregien. The family moved west the year after his birth and he grew up on ranches and farms where his father worked in southern California.One of those places where Harold Paregien worked was the Newhall Ranch, a corporate ranching and farming operation that stretched for miles either side of the highway from the towns of Newhall (now Santa Clarita) to Piru. Stan was already in love with anything cowboy, mostly by watching those great B-Westerns at the local movie theaters. And then on the Newhall Ranch (officially known as the Newhall Land & Farming Company) he and his sister Roberta acquired horses and rode happy trails all over the ranch.Paregien graduated from high school in 1959 at Fillmore, Calif. He married Peggy Ruth Allen from nearby Ventura, Calif., in 1962. They immediately moved to Nashville, Tennessee for Stan to study Speech Communication (and history and Bible) at Lipscomb University. He graduated in 1965. In 1968, he received his master’s degree from the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque. Then he completed all 60-hours of the classwork toward a Ph.D. in Speech Communication at the University of Oklahoma (but did not complete his other requirements). He has taken and is still taking continuing education courses in Life Skills through the University of Hard Knocks.He is a former full-time minister, a newspaper reporter and editor, a radio talk show host, a director of mental health facilities in both Texas and Oklahoma, and a salesman of various products. His hobby since 1990 has been writing and performing cowboy poetry and stories. He performed at the annual National Cowboy Symposium in Lubbock, Texas for a total of some 25 years. Through it all, he has been and is a freelance writer and author.He prefers just calling himself a "storyteller" in the tradition of Mark Twain, Louis L'Amour, Elmer Kelton, Garrison Keillor, Ansel Adams, Norman Rockwell, J. Frank Dobie, Agatha Christie and others. Sometimes he tells stories through narration, sometimes through poetry and often through photography.Stan and Peggy have two adult children, Stan Paregien Jr who lives with his family in the St. Louis area; and Stacy Magness who lives with her family near College Station, Texas. They also have four grandchildren (going on five, with an adoption in progress) and two great-grandchildren. The Paregiens lived in Edmond, Oklahoma for some 20 years before moving to Bradenton, Florida in June of 2013.Be sure to take a look at his other e-books which are also available online, including:S. Omar Barker: Las Vegas New Mexico's Legendary Cowboy PoetHis biography and 50 of his poems.The Cajun Cowdog: 15 Cowboy Stories for Adults**Just that people under age 13 probably can't appreciate it.Cowboy Earmuffs: 15 Cowboy Stories for AdultsA Rainy Day Reader: 100 Poems for Your EnjoymentWoody Guthrie: His Life, Music & MythOklahoma Almanac of Facts & Humor, (Parts 1& 2)The Austin Chronicles, Book 1: Boggy Depot Shootout (a Western novel with adult themes)The Austin Chronicles, Book 2: The Abilene Trail (a Western novel with adult themes)The Day Jesus DiedRootin’ Tootin’ Cowboy Poetry (Stan's original poems)Guy Logsdon: Award-winning FolkloristJim Shoulders: King of the Rodeo CowboysClara Luper: Civil Rights PioneerThoughts on UnityHe also recently published two paperback books through Amazon.com's KDP "Print-on-demand" process. Those two books are:S. Omar Barker: Las Vegas New Mexico's Legendary Cowboy PoetThe Day Jesus Died: Revised VersionOr just Google "books by Stan Paregien."

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      Book preview

      A Rainy Day Reader - Stan Paregien, Sr

      A Rainy Day Reader:

      100 Selected Poems

      Stan Paregien

      Copyright 2014 by Stan Paregien Sr

      Smashwords Edition

      ISBN: 9781310912474

      All rights worldwide are reserved by the author.

      Bradenton, Florida: Paregien Enterprises, 2014.

      Cover design by Stan Paregien

      This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this eBook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this eBook and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work and legal rights of this author.

      Dedication

      This book is dedicated to all of my classmates at Fillmore Union High School in the Class of 1959 at Fillmore, Calif.

      Table of Contents

      Chapter 1

      1. Caffeine Blues

      2. The Politician’s Friend

      3. Birds of a Feather

      4. N. Scott Momaday: A Literary Legend

      5. Nature vs. Nurture

      6. Toilet Time Social Networking

      7. Dumb As a Cucumber

      8. Had Any Lately?

      9. The Empty Nest Syndrome

      10. A True Patriot

      Chapter 2

      11. My Banker Ain’t No Friend of Mine

      12. The Doctor’s Son: A Riddle

      13. The Little Ghost Who Could Not Haunt

      14. Brother-in-Law Blues

      15. Some Songs Left to Sing

      16. Captain O’Bame

      17. Professional Ethics

      18. Promises, Promises

      19. Ireland Is Your Land

      20. Baby, You’re Nuts

      Chapter 3

      21. The Cure for Erectile Dysfunction

      22. Career Choices

      23. Outhouse Ethics

      24. The Circumcision

      25. The Pint-sized Storyteller

      26. The Really New Math

      27. The Law and the Little Lady

      28. Ode to College Football

      29. Senior Citizens Discount

      30. The Legs Have It

      Chapter 4

      31. That Damned St. Francis Dam

      32. Sweetie Pie Blues

      33. Serious Golfer

      34. Things My Dogs Taught Me

      35. Busted in the USA Blues

      36. Quarterback Crisis

      37. My Golfing Buddy

      38. Cal Worthington: Car Salesman Deluxe

      39. A Good Idea Gone Bad

      40. Dangerous Concoctions

      Chapter 5

      41. On a Rainy Day

      42. Beware of Blond Morticians

      43. Grandma’s Red Beans

      44. They Seemed Like Good Ideas

      45. On Naming the New Baby

      46. Cat Heaven

      47. Laramie Hargrave: A Tribute

      48. Comforting Words

      49. The Tip Off

      50. The Mouse Detector

      Chapter 6

      51. Man’s Worst Enemy: The Cat

      52. English Teachers

      53. Momma’s Burned Biscuits

      54. Remembering Ray Murphy

      55. Abhorrent Advertisements

      56. Romancing in the Rockies

      57. The Tennessee Flu

      58. On Understanding Womanese

      59. It’s Hard to Hire Good Help

      60. The Banker and the Lawyer

      Chapter 7

      61. Smart Pills

      62. The Alzheimer’s Seminar

      63. When Riding a Dead Horse

      64. Why Do You Behave So?

      65. Marriage: An Unorganized Union

      66. Laws of Nature

      67. The Leaky Refrigerator

      68. About Those Elves

      69. Tale of a Turtle and a Snail

      70 The Senile Sisters

      Chapter 8

      71. The Sounds of Oklahoma

      72. The Truth of the Matter

      73. A Slight Communication Problem

      74. Countdown to War

      75. A Useful Law of Life

      76. The U-Haul Blues

      77. A Communication Barrier

      78. Plagiarism vs. Research

      79. Summertime in Texas

      80. The Oldest Profession

      Chapter 9

      81. My Trip to Mexico

      82. Alzheimer’s Ain’t All Bad

      83. A Lawyer’s Logic

      84. An Old Man’s Sad Tale

      85. An Ordinary Day

      86. The Handyman Hubby

      87. Ode to Oreo Cookies

      88. Beaver, Oklahoma

      89. Cow Chip Stomp

      90. Garage Sale Blues

      Chapter 10

      91. The Game Warden & the Lady

      92. The Origin of NASCAR

      93. The Letter X

      94. The Insect World

      95. A Wise Prayer

      96. Santa’s Reindeer

      97. The Last Laugh

      98. A Different Point of View

      99. The Farmer vs. the Rancher

      100. The End

      Addendum A

      Other eBooks by Stan Paregien

      Addendum B

      Stan Paregien’s Biography

      Chapter 1

      1

      Caffeine Blues

      Coffee keeps me pumped up

      At mid-morning and late at night.

      It injects my soul with ecstasy

      And makes me feel just right.

      (I love it!)

      Coffee also stains my teeth

      Until I display a yellow grin.

      It makes my heart race as though

      A hard battle I’d partaken in.

      (I like it!)

      Coffee makes my hands shake

      Like tree leaves on a windy day.

      It causes my stomach to act

      In a most unpleasant way.

      (I kinda like it.)

      Coffee first raises my sugar level

      And gives me a temporary high.

      But my body’s insulin rushes in

      And my feelings crash from the sky.

      (It doesn’t like me.)

      Percolating coffee smells great

      And sure feels good going down.

      Caffeine is a potent drug, the most

      Widely used drug in our town.

      (I can’t do without it.)

      Caffeinism is what doctors call it,

      This five-cup-a-day habit, you see.

      They say it results in headaches,

      Muscle twitching and anxiety.

      (It hates me.)

      I tried to go cold turkey one day,

      To quit drinking coffee on the spot.

      And just one day later, I’ll tell ya,

      Strong headaches bothered me a lot.

      (I really am hooked!)

      So I took aspirin for quick relief,

      Forgetting the caffeine in them.

      So my chances of kicking the habit

      Went from good to ultra slim.

      (It’s harder than I thought.)

      Then I found a better way,

      One that anyone can really do.

      Just taper off to the point

      Of only drinking a cup or two.

      (I did it and so can you!)

      2

      The Politician’s Friend

      I see that some creative person invented

      A unique and brand new office machine today.

      It promises to change how politicians act,

      At least that’s what the inventor did say.

      This item is guaranteed to absolutely work;

      It’s not some kind of gimmick for the birds.

      You see, it is a combo word/food processor

      For when politicians have to eat their words.

      3

      Birds of a Feather

      It is true that birds of a feather flock together,

      Especially in the tree under which I park.

      Those big black birds jibber and jabber all day,

      Making noises worse than any dog’s bark.

      They lite there in the tree’s stately branches

      After scavenging for food from near and far.

      Then they lift those long, beautiful tail feathers

      And poop all over my new car.

      4

      N. Scott Momaday: A Literary Legend

      NOTE: This poem, Stan’s 275th, was written on Wednesday, Oct. 31, 2012, the day after he heard Dr. Momaday and got to meet him following his poetry reading in the Kerr McGee Auditorium at Oklahoma City University. His daughter, actress Jill M. Gray, preceded her father and showed about 15 minutes of a film documentary of his life which she said is a work-in-progress.

      Momaday’s full birth name is Navarre Scott Momaday. He received a doctorate in English literature from Stanford University in 1963. His first professorship was at the University of California at Santa Barbara. In 1969 he became a Professor of English and Comparative

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