Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    I Was an Awesomer Kid
    I Was an Awesomer Kid
    I Was an Awesomer Kid
    Ebook160 pages39 minutes

    I Was an Awesomer Kid

    By Brad Getty

    2/5

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Face it: You were awesome when you were a kid. You feared nothing. You spoke your mind. You tried new things. You had imagination. Now you play by the rules, dress appropriately, and choose politeness over self-expression. Well, life's too short for that and this book proves it. Vintage photographs of real kids doing awesome stuff—wearing footie pj's, eating sugar cereal, napping, and showing off— accompany witty captions that poke fun at the doldrums of adult life and remind us to unleash our inner kid. With a hilarious dose of 80s and 90s nostalgia, just enough snark, and an ultimately uplifting message, I Was an Awesomer Kid is a great gift for all who are young at heart . . . or wish they still were!
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherChronicle Books Digital
    Release dateApr 7, 2015
    ISBN9781452141534
    I Was an Awesomer Kid

    Related to I Was an Awesomer Kid

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Wisdom for The Future

      Dec 20, 2021

      Wisdom for The Future
      10 min read

    • Article

      Three Poems

      Mar 1, 2019

      I was like you once, a sealed plastic bag of water filters floating on the sea. I thought my numbers proved my time and space on earth. I thought having children was a way of creating more love. I thought thoughts I was ashamed to speak in case they

      15 min read

    • Article

      Adults Beware: On the Wisdom of the Goosebumps Books

      May 15, 2018

      R.L. Stine’s horror adventures for kids, Goosebumps, are apparently the second best selling book series in history, right behind the exploits of the world’s most famous wizard. As a lifelong Goosebumps fan, I find this endlessly puzzling. It is

      6 min read

    • Article

      Time To Winterize

      Sep 1, 2022

      Time To Winterize
      7 min read

    • Article

      The Final Truth

      Jan 21, 2020

      The Final Truth
      5 min read

    • Article

      Choosing DISTRACTION

      Jun 22, 2020

      Choosing DISTRACTION
      8 min read

    • Article

      Blue Minded

      Apr 3, 2019

      Blue Minded
      30 min read

    • Article

      Choosing “otherhood”

      Jun 21, 2023

      Choosing “otherhood”
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Creative Hero’s Journey: 5 Reasons You Should Write Your Book, Paint Your Picture, Sing Your Song

      Dec 9, 2021

      Estimated reading time: 10 minutes — I used to be a professional disease hunter, a board-certified surgical pathologist. I was the M.D. in a white coat who stared at your skin (or breast, brain or bone, etc.) biopsy under the microscope and let your

      6 min read

    • Article

      Join The Weekly CONVERSATION

      Feb 19, 2023

      Recently, I read Kerre Woodham’s excellent article on positivity. I daresay if I was to know Kerre and her mum, they would be on my “best buddies” list. One’s mindset can be one’s best friend or one’s worst enemy at my stage of life at 68 years. Thos

      5 min read

    • Article

      Join The Weekly CONVERSATION

      Feb 19, 2023

      Recently, I read Kerre Woodham’s excellent article on positivity. I daresay if I was to know Kerre and her mum, they would be on my “best buddies” list. One’s mindset can be one’s best friend or one’s worst enemy at my stage of life at 68 years. Thos

      5 min read

    • Article

      You Talkin’ To Me?

      Jan 6, 2022

      You Talkin’ To Me?
      3 min read

    • Article

      At The Present Time

      Nov 1, 2022

      At The Present Time
      8 min read

    • Article

      Dawn Neesom Mind Of My Own

      Sep 27, 2022

      The midlife crisis has finally been scientifically proven. Evidently, we experience our toughest times in our late 40s and early 50s when, in theory, we should be at our most comfortable, certainly financially. The research also suggests that at 45

      3 min read

    • Article

      Don’t Fear THE CLOWN

      Oct 27, 2020

      Don’t Fear THE CLOWN
      3 min read

    • Article

      My Story My Friend Cath

      Mar 25, 2020

      My Story My Friend Cath
      5 min read

    • Article

      Winter Car Hacks

      Jan 1, 2023

      Winter Car Hacks
      9 min read

    • Article

      Before You Melt Into The Sea

      Feb 3, 2022

      Before You Melt Into The Sea
      11 min read

    • Article

      Happiness Through Design

      May 6, 2021

      One minute you were skipping along, living your best life, and the next minute you were home schooling your kids in trigonometry–and not understanding any of it – while fretting over vulnerable loved ones and dangling by a thread. And that’s if you w

      1 min read

    • Article

      Leaning Into The Pain

      Nov 2, 2020

      Leaning Into The Pain
      13 min read

    • Article

      Back To The Future

      Jan 31, 2021

      Back To The Future
      9 min read

    • Article

      SHORT STORY by MARGARET ATWOOD

      Mar 22, 2023

      SHORT STORY by MARGARET ATWOOD
      7 min read

    • Article

      Counter Culture

      Mar 3, 2021

      Counter Culture
      3 min read

    • Article

      Silver Hair and Silver Linings

      Feb 20, 2024

      Julia and I and our fishing buddies, Cory and Dan, were recently invited to Costa Rica to fish with Capt. John Adams aboard Griffin, one of our 65’s. Silly as it may sound, I had never been out upon the Pacific before. Those warm breezes and flat-cal

      5 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for I Was an Awesomer Kid

    2/5

    1 rating0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      I Was an Awesomer Kid - Brad Getty

      SEUSS

      introduction

      Back when skinned knees and grass stains were your badges of honor, you were a death-dodging Picasso of finger painting who pissed into the wind of life . . . and your pants.

      Your imagination ran wild and you ran wilder. You were free, you were crazy, you were terrible, you were an awesomer kid.

      your attitude was awesomer

      You were the biggest little badass this world had ever seen. Fear feared you as you rolled through the streets with training wheels and a ten-foot-tall swagger. If you could count, you’d count all the shits you didn’t give. Some called it the terrible twos, but that was just you asserting your undersized self in an oversized world.

      going for it

      You risked it all and then some. Broken bones and endless doctor bills were your calling cards as you crashed through your existence. Adrenaline was your drug, speed was your muse, and death was your copilot. Every day was another chance to reach for the danger zone and risk your life in the pursuit of badassness.

      Now you overanalyze risk and carefully walk the tightrope of safety. You live in an airbag-filled world.

      Let’s feel alive again. Safe is boring. Let’s raise hell and the hair on the back of our necks again like when we were awesomer kids.

      showing off

      Olympians had nothing on you, so you shut down the show by killing your living-room-floor routine that ended with your signature London Bridge splits. Every public outing was your chance to claim fifteen minutes of fame, and each performance fearlessly began with Look at what I can do!

      Now you’re terrified to display your God-given talents. Your brain whispers lies to your confidence that keep you out of the spotlight. You’re not good enough. They’ll make fun of you. You shouldn’t do this at a wedding reception.

      Screw that. Stop doubting yourself. It’s time to show off the way you did when you were an awesomer kid.

      your way or no way

      Long before you skulled two beers to the face, you were straight double-crushing bottles of juice . . . and life.

      So, next time you’re saddled up to two fists full of the frost-brewed finest, cheers yourself for inventing the most awesome way to drink.

      alternate realities

      Your think-box was still untamed by school. Mind-expanding drugs couldn’t help adults reach the far-off places your mind created. Dragon rides, imaginary friends, and ninja underwear fights were completely normal.

      Now you’ve got the imagination of a rock. You can’t even finger paint an animal that has never existed or make up a planet in outer space.

      It’s bullshit. Let’s daydream again. Let’s make believe and believe in what we’ve made up.

      monster faces

      Only suckers smile. When the camera came out you performed facial gymnastics and contorted your cute little looks into monstrous configurations. Each new vanguard expression was conjured from the inner demon that you were.

      Now, you put on your best face for the world because you care about its opinion. Each carefully practiced smile is an attempt to trick everyone into believing that you’re a happy, well-adjusted, socially acceptable adult.

      But fake smiles are boring. Let’s make faces for fun again and shock the world with our weirdness like an awesomer

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1