Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Uncle John's Facts to Go Mouthing Off
    Uncle John's Facts to Go Mouthing Off
    Uncle John's Facts to Go Mouthing Off
    Ebook94 pages55 minutes

    Uncle John's Facts to Go Mouthing Off

    By Bathroom Readers' Institute

    5/5

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    “There’s never been a better quote book for only three bucks.” —Uncle John

    In the 26-year history of the Bathroom Readers’ Institute, we have collected tens of thousands of the world’s most memorable quotations. In this e-book, you’ll find the very best of them (along with some newly-discovered utterances). From the profound to the sublime, from the witty to the stupid, after reading Mouthing Off, you’ll never be at a loss for words again! Some highlights:

     

    • Surprisingly wise celebrities, cocky rock stars, and dumb jocks
    • When commentators misspeak, and other foot-in-mouth moments
    • What Mark Twain didn’t say
    • Hollywood’s all-time weirdest acceptance speeches
    • Talk show guests deemed too mouthy for TV
    • Wacky 911 calls and court transcripts
    • Ancient quotes that still resonate today
    • Modern pearls of wisdom, including actor (and racing enthusiast) Paul Newman’s observation: “It is useless to put on your brakes when you’re upside down.”

    And much, much more!
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPortable Press
    Release dateMay 1, 2014
    ISBN9781626862395
    Uncle John's Facts to Go Mouthing Off
    Author

    Bathroom Readers' Institute

    The Bathroom Readers' Institute is a tight-knit group of loyal and skilled writers, researchers, and editors who have been working as a team for years. The BRI understands the habits of a very special market—Throne Sitters—and devotes itself to providing amazing facts and conversation pieces.

    Read more from Bathroom Readers' Institute

    Related to Uncle John's Facts to Go Mouthing Off

    Titles in the series (15)

    View More
    View More

    Related ebooks

    Curiosities & Wonders For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Poetic Justice

      Oct 23, 2017

      Poetic Justice
      18 min read

    • Article

      Gene Simmons

      Apr 1, 2022

      EVERYBODY KNOWS GENE Simmons. Or at least, they think they know Gene Simmons. Kiss co-founder, blood-dribbler, tongue-waggler and possessor of one of rock’s biggest egos. But long before he became The Demon, he was Chaim Witz, a kid born in Israel an

      5 min read

    • Article

      My Gilt-edged Cuttings Book

      Nov 17, 2021

      Should diamond jubilees exist in journalism, I would be celebrating one around now. It’s 60 years since I first saw my byline in print. It was a pretentious film review in a university newspaper. But from then on, Fleet Street was my calling, and I’v

      4 min read

    • Article

      CLASSIC Cries

      Oct 1, 2020

      CLASSIC Cries
      10 min read

    • Article

      CLASSIC Cries

      Oct 1, 2020

      CLASSIC Cries
      10 min read

    • Article

      Letter to My Son

      Jul 4, 2015

      Letter to My Son
      30 min read

    • Article

      Louis Theroux

      Feb 21, 2022

      Louis Theroux
      5 min read

    • Article

      Ian Anderson I REMEMBER…

      Jan 16, 2024

      Ian Anderson I REMEMBER…
      6 min read

    • Article

      Nish Kumar

      Apr 1, 2024

      Nish Kumar
      5 min read

    • Article

      Dear Frankie

      Aug 1, 2021

      Dear Frankie
      19 min read

    • Article

      Chairman Of The Hoard

      May 13, 2022

      Chairman Of The Hoard
      8 min read

    • Article

      Beverley Knight

      Aug 28, 2023

      Beverley Knight
      5 min read

    • Article

      Fry's Delight - And Despair

      Feb 7, 2024

      Is there anything you can’t leave home without? A charger for my Apple Watch, notebooks and pencils. Is there something you really miss when you’re away? Test Match Special and The Archers, but you can hear them now if you’re cunning with a VPN. And

      3 min read

    • Article

      GROWiNG PAINS

      Sep 9, 2021

      GROWiNG PAINS
      8 min read

    • Article

      Wreckless Eric

      Oct 12, 2023

      Wreckless Eric
      6 min read

    • Article

      Godzilla Or 20 Draculas?

      Oct 10, 2019

      Godzilla Or 20 Draculas?
      5 min read

    • Article

      Dancing Like My Dad

      Mar 12, 2021

      Dancing Like My Dad
      8 min read

    • Article

      Jazzie B

      Oct 16, 2023

      Jazzie B
      5 min read

    • Article

      Tan France

      Aug 12, 2021

      Tan France
      3 min read

    • Article

      Dancing Like My Dad

      Mar 12, 2021

      Dancing Like My Dad
      8 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Uncle John's Facts to Go Mouthing Off

    5/5

    1 rating0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Uncle John's Facts to Go Mouthing Off - Bathroom Readers' Institute

      THE NAKED TRUTH

      We all came into this world naked. And so, too, does this e-book.

      I wish we were all naked all the time. I have always believed it’s what’s underneath that counts.

      —Celine Dion

      When you’ve seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault, you know why clothing exists.

      —Stephen Fry

      Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.

      —Buddy Hackett

      When I get a reaction from people like, ‘Why do you do that?’ it makes me want to do it again and again.

      —Will Ferrell, on appearing naked in many of his films

      Beware of the naked man who offers you his shirt.

      —Navjot Singh Sidhu

      Nudity is the uniform of the other side.

      —Milan Kundera

      I think onstage nudity is disgusting, shameful, and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic, and a progressive religious experience.

      —Shelley Winters

      I’d like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.

      —Jack Handy

      There are those who so dislike the nude that they find something indecent in the naked truth.

      —Francis Herbert Bradley

      Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.

      —John Kenneth Galbraith

      I come from a country [Australia] where you don’t wear clothes most of the year. I was born nude and I hope to be buried nude.

      —Elle MacPherson

      Clothes make the man, but nakedness makes the human being.

      —Kevin Kearney

      Top 6 reasons people are late to work: 1) traffic; 2) oversleeping; 3) procrastination; 4) house-hold chores; 5) car trouble; 6) having sex.

      "HE’S LOST BOTH RIGHT

      FRONT TIRES"

      British sports commentator Murray Walker is renowned for his silly—and hilarious—vocal flubs.

      The young Ralph Schumacher has been upstaged by the teenager, Jensen Button, who is twenty.

      Only a few more laps to go and then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is.

      There’s nothing wrong with the car except that it’s on fire.

      Just under ten seconds…call it nine point five in round figures.

      I imagine the conditions in those cars are totally unimaginable.

      Either that car is stationary, or it is on the move.

      We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.

      With the race half gone there is still half the race to go.

      And he’s lost both right front tires!

      And I interrupt myself to bring you this…

      Mansell is slowing it down, taking it easy. Oh no, he isn’t! It’s a lap record.

      He is shedding buckets of adrenaline in that car.

      Mansell can see him in his earphone.

      A sad ending, albeit a happy one.

      Easy Rider star Peter Fonda made an educational film about motorcycle safety called It’s Not So Easy.

      THE TRUTH ABOUT LOVE

      If you want to know something important, ask a kid.

      How do two people wind up falling in love?

      Andrew, age 6: One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too.

      Mae, age 9: No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell…That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.

      Manuel, age 8: I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.

      What is falling in love like?

      John, age 9: Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.

      Glenn, age 7: If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.

      How important is beauty in love?

      Anita, age 8: If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.

      Brian, age 7: It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.

      Christine, age 9: Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.

      Why do lovers hold hands?

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1