101 More Bits of Useful Advice for the Paddler, Hiker and Camper; Vol III

101 MORE BITS OF USEFUL ADVICE FOR THE PADDLER, HIKER AND CAMPER

VOL III

By Richard Johnson

101 MORE BITS OF USEFUL ADVICE FOR THE PADDLER, HIKER AND CAMPER

Vol 3

By Richard Johnson

Published by Richard (Rick) Johnson (Desert Dragon Productions) at Smashwords.

Copyright May 2018 Richard Johnson

ISBN 9780463351123

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

CONTENTS FOR VOLUME THREE

Introduction

PFD Camelback

Tripod Water Filtering System

Bandanas

Solar Power

Cup Cozy

Doggie First Aid Kit

Desert Still

Another Tent Repair Kit

Gloves and Boots

Still Another Home-made Cord Lock

Another Pre-Filter

Meal Kits

Twist your Tie-Down Ropes and Webbing

Upgrade your Gear

Anchors

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

Cooking Gear

A Few More Words about Tent Stakes

A Good Night’s Sleep

A Rolling Roof Loader

A Slightly More Comfortable Pillow

An Alternative to Pad-Eyes

Accidents Happen

An X-Ped Adaptor

Animal Tracks

Another Way to Store your Stove

Another Word about Tents

Bailer & Sponge

Boat Barn, Revisited

Book Bag

Breast Implants and Paddling

Clothes Packing Strategies

Camping on a Slope

Camping Table

Colored Tent Stakes

Condom Canteens, Revisited

DIY Backpack Meals

Doggie Do Don’t

Dogs Get Cold Too

Flotation Bags in a Canoe

Guns and Backpacks

Headlamps

Help! I’m Lost on a River

Float Plan

I Like Bad Reviews

Jetboil Accessories

Jetboil Frypan

Kayak and Canoe Shelters

Let Me Count the Ways

Load Limits

Make Your Own JetBoil Pot

Man Food Again

Money Money Money

More on Tie Down Straps

More on Water Filters

Notes on Non-Refillable Gas Cylinders

Packing a Sit-on-Top Kayak

Packing for a Shuttle

Pickle Barrels

Poor Man’s Vacuum Sealer

Power

Pre-Packing Clothes

Protect your Gaskets

Reality Check, or Some Bad Math

Repairing Camp Chairs

Personalize your Boat

Ground Mats

Wooden Kayak Cart

Solo, Couple or Group Trips

Stay Dry in the Rain

Storing your Gear

Storing your Sleeping Bag

Stupid Things to Buy

Water Navigation made Easy

Water, Water.

A Bit More on Dry Bags

Sea to Summit X-System

Shower with a Liter of Water

Start Slow then Build Up

Steripen Revisited

Stripped Down Kayak Camping Trip Gear

Sun Hats

Sunshade for your Tent

Surveying for Dummies

Test your Dry Bags

The 20 Mile Checkup

The MSR Solution

The Swedish Bikini Team

Think Ahead

Thule Hullivator

Trail Snacks

Trailers and Junk

Trash your Trailer

Useful Stuff IV

Vacuum Seal your Food

What Size Kayak do you Need for Camping?

Which is the Best kayak?

Why I Paddle in Groups

Why is Anodized Aluminum so Wonderful?

Why is my Dry Hatch Leaking?

The Problem with Meal Comparisons

INTRODUCTION

What I expected to be a single volume has taken over and expanded to three and probably four volumes. Why? Some people will say it is because I need the money and the best way to pay the rent is to keep writing even when you run out of things to say. There is a well-known publisher of metaphysical books that requires every submitting writer to submit three books which forces the writer to try to come up with a sequel even if it sounds really stupid. You see this in such works as Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus which was followed by Men are from mars and women are from venus in marriage and then men are from mars and women are from venus in the bedroom and then men are from mars and women are from venus while dating and so on until the next in the series will be men are from mars and women are from venus when you glance at each other while riding the bus but are afraid to introduce yourself. You get the idea.

I am not that writer. I have no contract and I do have difficulty padding my writings. The original Men are from Mars was an excellent work, only it was about 200 pages too long. Everything he needed to say was important and vital to understanding the opposite sex and was said in the first 50 pages. After that, he repeated himself to get his word count up because he was being paid by the word. I am not that writer either. Frankly I have no contract and I make about 40 cents per book regardless of the word-count so my royalties suck.

So why do I write these books? Partially because I am bored but mostly because I see a LOT of people passing on bad advice that can get the listener into a lot of trouble. Really, one well-known camping site recommended using a condom for a canteen and another well-known kayak magazine did an article where they recommended that you poop into a plastic pipe that was less than 4 across and 24 long, while balancing said pipe on a rock!!!! There is a LOT of bad advice out there and I can only imagine that these suggestions were passed on without anyone actually trying them to see if they work.

So one reason I write these is to let you know what does and does not work. I’ve tried most of these and will tell you when I am passing on anecdotes and when I am giving advice from experience.

Another reason is because I am an engineer and an inventor and have figured out how to do the job easier and cheaper than have you and so you benefit by seeing how to make a really good paddle-leash out of household junk. Or a way to avoid getting your ass wet while filtering water by the shore, or why the x-series from S2S may not be as good as the videos and websites say. ALL from personal experience and possessing enough intelligence to read-between-the-lines.

Margaret at work came up to me and handed me a few silver dollars and an ad from a company that promised to buy silver dollars for $20,000 each! She said that if I sold them for her, she’d give me 20%. I read the notice and it actually said UP TO $20k! ‘For’ and ‘up to’ are vastly different things and ‘up to’ really means I’ll pay you a nickel for most of them but if you sell me the last existing super rare silver dollar that is worth a million dollars, I’ll buy it form you for pennies of its value. The company the ad was for was closed down by the police and are still being sought by said police for fraud. Read between the lines as I said in my Raman Noodles chapter in a previous book where I explain why a package that promises no MSG is still giving you a MSG reaction.

So what I am doing is to look at things, analyze the situation, ask the embarrassing question, perform the research and condense all those hours and days of research and experimentation into a couple paragraphs, a drawing and a few photos so you can avoid a costly and dangerous mistake.

I was hired to write a paper on Vacuum Airships as a support paper for the author but he insisted that I dumb the thing down for normal people. I did with the necessary explanations and he was quite happy with the result. Even more when I sent him a bonus paper on the political ramifications of the Hindenberg disaster because of the denial of America to sell Helium as compared to the 0220 which was the focus of his own paper.

I’m kinda like that. I’m the guy who brings a clothesline and clothespins so the ladies don’t have to hang their wet undies over a bush. I’m the guy who brings extra hot chocolate for breakfast for the group. And I’m the guy who invents an expedient means transit so I can survey a beach so I will put my boats and tents above the high-water line when they open the dam and flood the beach. You benefit from my work and all for a buck or two.

I don’t get rich from this. My royalties are about $75 over 4 months which comes down to about a penny an hour for all the work I do.

By the Way! The pic that graces all these books is me lecturing at a kayak event. I wear a kilt which women love. I give ideas on how-to which the men love and I say ‘poop’ which the kids love. So feel free to invite me to speak at your event. I am funny, witty, sarcastic, innovative and look really hot in a kilt. Plus watching me get into a kayak in a kilt is a YouTube event that you do not want to miss.

Back to Contents

PFD CAMELPACK

I got back into river racing because I was bored and had never been on that river before and the theme of the event was pirates and we all know that I like pirates (my great-grandfather Olaf was a Barbary Coast Pirate) so I sent in the check, packed my tent and boat and took time off work. Ok…. Hmmm….. I am in a Wilderness Systems Dirago-12 recreational boat and I’m planning to race an unknown river!!!! How can I survive this?

First of all, I have a stern dry-hatch for flotation in case of a capsize so until I add in that bow-hatch and bulkhead… I blew air into a bunch of dry-bags and shoved them into the bow, holding them in place with my feet and the foot-pegs. Now I have flotation in bow and stern.

Water! Normally, I stick a water-bottle in the holder in the deck with a second bottle behind the seat. Unfortunately, I probably won’t have the time to set paddle down, reach for the bottle, uncap, drink, replace bottle, grab paddle and race on without the current turning the boat or me loosing headway.

Most people will wear a hydration bladder (aka Camelbak or Platypus) over their PFD and suffer the shoulder straps messing with their paddling as the camelback and PFD fight for limited shoulder-space. Other people lay their bladder on the floor and lacking the gravity assist of hanging it on their back, they have to really suck that hose to get anything. So I got this idea!

If I attach large D-Rings to the shoulder straps of my PFD at the rear, I can clip things there. Things like a rescue strobe or glo-sticks. Then….

If I take an old camelback, the kind that is a naught but a pouch and bladder since I don’t need all that backpack garbage they put on them nowadays and I can get the bare-bag model at many yard sales and swap meets for a buck… Actually I used a Platypus as these are older and so cheaper and often are just a bag and straps which is all I wanted….

Then I can cut off the shoulder straps and sewed a clip or carabiner to the shoulders of the camelback!

Now I fill the bladder with sports-drink (or rum-punch), clip the drinking tube to my PFD close to my mouth and….

It worked and worked well! The ‘bak was out-of-the-way and high enough to allow gravity to help me drink and a single liter of water wasn’t heavy enough to raise my center-of-gravity. Plus when I was done, I could easily unclip the ‘bak and toss it into the hatch until next time. I had a lot of people at the race compliment me on the design which I suspect someone will patent and once again, I’ll lose out! But you heard it here first! Be ready to testify for me when I sue!

One guy suggested that I replace the lower straps so I can clip the ‘bak to my PFD side straps in case of a roll. I guess it is a good idea and will probably do that but as I cannot Eskimo-roll, so far there is no need. But keep that idea in mind. And with the bottom loose, I can flip it over my seat-back and out-of-the-way.

Then when I do a tubing trip, I can fill the ‘bak with rum-punch, clip it to my PFD, let it hang into the water (to remain cold) as I relax and enjoy the sights!

Back to Contents

TRIPOD WATER FILTERING SYSTEM

I know that I harp on about water-filtering and you are probably tired of my thoughts but frankly, I have spent the last 5 days with TP up my ying-yang because Sunday I, apparently, did not clean my water bottle well enough during a trip up the Salt River. A few decades ago, I would have laughed about my 20# in 2 week diet but at my age… I can stand to lose the weight but the stress is a bit more than I recall.