God Says I am Battle-Scar Free: Testimonies of Abuse Survivors - Part 4

GOD SAYS

I am Battle-Scar Free:

Testimonies of Abuse Survivors – Part 4

Compiled By:

Angela R. Edwards

Foreword By:

Pastor Marilyn M.E. Porter

Pearly Gates Publishing, LLC, Houston, Texas

God Says I am Battle-Scar Free:

Testimonies of Abuse Survivors – Part 4

Copyright © 2018

Angela R. Edwards

All Rights Reserved.

No portion of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any electronic system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise) without written permission from the publisher. Brief quotations may be used in literary reviews.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018939915

Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Scripture references are used with permission from Zondervan via Biblegateway.com.

Public domain.

For information and bulk ordering, contact:

Pearly Gates Publishing, LLC

Angela Edwards, CEO

P.O. Box 62287

Houston, TX 77205

BestSeller@PearlyGatesPublishing.com

Published by Pearly Gates Publishing, LLC at Smashwords.

This book is available in print at most online retailers.

Special Dedication

To the loved-ones all over the world—women, men, teens, and young children—who have lost the battle on this side of Heaven, we honor your memory. You are truly ‘Battle-Scar Free’.

Your suffering in silence has ended.

Your cries for help have been heard, and you are now resting in peace.

GOD has granted you a peace that surpasses our understanding, away from the pain and torment of this earthly life. The peace you now have is one you should have known while here among family and friends who loved you.

We will never forget. We will no longer be silenced. Your memory will live on from generation to generation and from friend to friend.

In your honor, we sound the alarm:

Domestic violence and abuse in any form will no longer be accepted as the norm!

Acknowledgements

First, giving all praise, honor, and glory to God our Heavenly Father. Thank you, Lord, for guarding the hearts and minds of each of us who contributed to the composition of God says I am Battle-Scar Free – Part Four. With the collective sounds of our voices and the guiding light of your Holy Spirit, it is our prayer to you that we can effect change in the lives of both the abused and the abuser…one life at a time.

To each of the contributors who submitted their stories of strength, survival, and encouragement for others: Your servitude does not go unnoticed. Your willingness to share intimate details of your life with people unfamiliar to you speaks volumes about the heart you have to make a change in and break the cycle of abuse. Change begins with EACH OF YOU. As Compiler of this project, I thank you for your resounding YES! as we worked to bring this project to fruition. GOD chose you for such a time as this, and I am forever grateful for you. I extend to each of you LOTS of (((HUGS))) and LOVE!

To Marlowe Scott: I want to extend my heartfelt appreciation for being my second set of eyes as we worked to perfect this piece of literary art. The time investment and your energies are truly appreciated…again. You know the passion I have to see that each and every single work published by Pearly Gates Publishing meets the expectations of our audience. I couldn’t have done this without you. Also, the continued use of the Battle-Scar Free Staple Poem, Abuse is NOT Love, in every publication in the God Says I am Battle-Scar Free series remains an encouragement to ME and countless others. Thank you for penning an amazing piece of poetry to inspire the hearts of victims and abusers near and far! I love you beyond mere words!

To Pastor Marilyn E. Porter: From the very beginning, you have walked this walk with me. Thank you for being a friend, confidant, coach, and Foreword-writer for all of the Battle-Scar Free books to date. Just when I think you’re out of juice and have nothing new to say, you find a way to make my jaw drop with a new account of your own life’s story. Thank you for your transparency and support that comes from every side. I appreciate you more than I can ever express on paper. I love you, Murl!

Last, but FAR from least, we ALL extend a LOUD and COLLECTIVE THANK YOU, LORD for Your whole armor. For the healing that has taken place through the telling and sharing of our stories, we THANK YOU, LORD. There is POWER in our words, and we believe You will honor them by blessing the readers while inciting change in their lives beginning NOW. We ask that You keep Your loving arms around them as they, too, begin to lay claim to their FREEDOM away from abuse in any form by anyone.

Amen and Amen.

~ Angela R. Edwards ~

Preface

Everything in life has a season. Spring is the season when flowers begin to blossom again, trees that appeared lifeless all Winter long begin sprouting green leaves and colored blooms, and Mother Nature goes about the business of transforming the landscape into a thing of beauty for all to see. It should be no wonder, then, why God Says I am Battle-Scar Free: Testimonies of Abuse Survivors is released annually…in the Spring.

Much like the plant life that surrounds us, many relationships—romantic and friendships—often go through a season of transformation. There may come a season in life when your desire to be FREE from the pains becomes overwhelming. You know you deserve better. You know the way things are today are not the way you want to spend the rest of your days on this earth.

This book has been published—now in its fourth year of publication—for a season of YOUR renewal and YOUR release. The authors who have penned their testimonies herein have already realized they needed to share their stories to let YOU know: You are not alone. The stories here are real. While reading them, you may find yourself crying, cringing, shaking your head in agreement, and even wondering WHY? as you catch yourself being disgusted with some of the behaviors and choices mentioned herein—and that’s okay! I promise you: By the end of each testimony, you will want to high-five the authors because they found a way to LIVE to tell their stories.

God Says I am Battle-Scar Free is a work of literary art designed by GOD. For you to have your hands on this book at this moment in time means it is your season! Your season for what exactly, I do not know—but the Spirit of God does. Embrace this opportunity to be encouraged, empowered, strengthened, and renewed. The pathway to FREEDOM has been set out before you. Just open the door and walk through! Get your FREEDOM today, my Brother- and Sister-in-Christ!

~ Angela R. Edwards ~

Compiler | Contributing Author

CEO of Pearly Gates Publishing, LLC

Foreword

I have heard the questions, Why did you stay? and Why not just leave?—technically the same question, asked more times than I care to admit. It seems as though everyone wants to know the How? from the victim, not from the abuser. I have never heard of the abuser being asked questions like, Why did you just cuss her/him out until you fractured their soul? or Didn’t you think just hitting them once was enough? Why not just stop at one? I know it sounds silly, but questioning the abused—asking them Why?—is equally as silly (in my opinion).

Abuse invokes a sense of helplessness that is nearly unexplainable. Although many try, the truth is that in the end, the abused is waiting for the next act of abuse NOT to happen!

In 1993, I was riding in a car with a man who was (at the time) my boyfriend. My one-year-old daughter was also in the car. I had decided to end the relationship and thought it to be a wise idea to tell him as he drove us to the train station. To my shock, he began to drive the car like a madman, threatening to kill us all. I was not jarred or moved at all. In fact, it was a joke to me. Even with my one-year-old snuggled tightly in her car seat in the back, I didn’t even try to stop him.

I shared that incident with you because that is likened to the onset of abuse; the very moment when our lives are threatened, and we brush it off as something to be taken lightly. Right there. The VERY first time we do nothing, the demon that is Domestic Violence knows it has access into our world. Yes, even ME—or shall I say #MeToo.

The blessing of the Battle-Scar Free Movement is a massive tool, shedding light on abuse. It exposes the methods in which it sneaks into our lives—often unannounced—until…

Bones are broken.

Families are destroyed.

Minds are scrambled.

Souls are entangled.

Money is wasted.

And, saddest of all, lives are lost.

How wickedly criminal and vile of a demon to show up disguised as LOVE! Who would welcome it any other way? It’s a ‘devil in a blue dress’, some might say.

The Battle-Scar Free Movement and accompanying book series have been eye-openers for our community—the community of survivors and overcomers of this horrific plague called Domestic Violence and Abuse.

I will give Domestic Violence a shout-out, though: It does NOT discriminate. It loves white folks, just the same as black folks. It loves the rich and famous, just as much as the poor and struggling. It loves the intelligent, just the same as the slow of thought (in fact, I believe it loves the intelligent even more because it gets a kick out of rendering the intelligent ones low of thought). And yes; it loves men, just as it loves women and children. There’s a thrill the demon of Domestic Violence gets from the trickery of having the abused accept the foolery of it all.

So, there’s NO need to march on Washington for reasons where domestic violence’s discrimination is concerned, for it is an Equal Opportunity Oppressor.

If you have this book in your hands, that tells me something about you:

1.You have been abused by someone and can relate.

2.You are being abused right now and need to know how to get free.

3.You are curious and want to know: How in the hell does anyone fall for this mistreatment?

4.You are an abuser, and you want to see if you can find yourself in the pages of these stories.

Whatever the reason, I invite you to turn the page and begin sharing in the healing journey of these overcomers: the BRAVE, the HEALED, the RESTORED, the RENEWED—those who have shone a light on the dastardly deeds of Domestic Violence and have now become THE LIGHT!

Angela, my friend: Keep making noise around this issue. Your work is saving lives.

~ Pastor Marilyn M.E. Porter ~

Marilyn M.E. Porter is the CEO of Scatter Brained Genius Coaching and Consulting and SBG Media Group. She is also the Founder and Pastor of The Pink Pulpit Crusade International.

Connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram:

@thesbgcoach

Website: www.marilyneporter.com

Introduction

1 Corinthians 13:13

"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."

No other love is greater than the sacrifice and price Jesus Christ paid for our salvation: His death on the cross at Calvary.

Still, in our humanness, we seek out a love that fulfills our earthly needs. Who doesn’t desire to be loved, held, protected, and assured that they are worthy to be loved? As people, we often find ourselves needing to be valued by another and know that we matter to SOMEONE.

Some individuals are on a seek-and-destroy mission. They are the ones who do not know how to love, often because they have never known love themselves OR have been pained to their very core by another. They lash out and prey on the weaknesses of others, all in an effort to empower themselves.

This book is not about them, though. This book is about YOU and intended to speak to the spirit-man/spirit-woman who is struggling with making a life-changing choice: STAY or LEAVE. On the pages of God Says I am Battle-Scar Free: Testimonies of Abuse Survivors – Part Four, the words are Spirit-inspired and 100% intentional with no holds barred. The enemy loves to operate in those dark places in our lives. The enemy loves to keep us there, too. The time is NOW to bring to light those things often kept in the darkness due to shame and guilt. NOW is the time to break the chains of bondage—those that bind the heart, mind, and soul of the abused.

Is your story one of past pains associated with molestation, physical abuse, neglect, fear, abandonment, rape, failure, or other traumatic experiences that have left you scarred internally and/or externally? The stories contained herein speak to those pains and so much more. With 19 testimonies penned here, surely there’s something just for you.

Be encouraged: You do not walk through this life alone, no matter what your abuser has made you believe.

Be encouraged: You were never meant to be isolated from those who love and care about you, no matter how hard your abuser tries to make that lifestyle your new normal.

Although it may be your heart’s desire to see a change come to your abuser’s life, it is not your responsibility to make it happen. You can try and try, all to no avail. If he or she is not ready to change for themselves, the toxicity will always remain (just ask any survivor of domestic violence and abuse). If you are in an abusive situation of any kind, you are further encouraged to seek guidance on how to safely remove yourself from the situation.

Near the end of this book is a journaling section titled Share YOUR Feelings. I’m here…Now What? Use those pages to be 100% real with yourself. Prayerfully, you will have moments of clarity that prompt you to ask, How did I get here? More importantly, what can I do to be FREE?

In addition, resources are provided for you to connect with organizations that can assist you…when you’re ready. I implore you not to wait to see if your abuser will change. There is a power he or she possesses over your life that is toxic, unhealthy, and never meant to be.

Think about this: Before we hear about your untimely and unfortunate death on the local news or your death begins trending on social media as Domestic Violence Gone Horribly Wrong, how about taking that first step…and then another? Employ the services of family and friends, even if they are presently unaware that you are going through. You may find yourself surprised at the positive response to your cries for help you receive—once you silence the enemy by using the POWER OF YOUR OWN WORDS!

Remember always: Abuse comes in MANY forms—not just physical. BE FREE to live your life the way GOD intended: BATTLE-SCAR FREE!

Table of Contents

SPECIAL DEDICATION

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

PREFACE

FOREWORD

INTRODUCTION

YOU – A POEM

THE WORST BETRAYAL

BOUQUET OF FRIENDSHIPS – A POEM

A DAY LIKE NO