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Taking Care of Frank
Taking Care of Frank
Taking Care of Frank
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Taking Care of Frank

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Six short crime and mystery stories, including the award-winning Taking Care of Frank, which won the UK Crime Writers Short Story Dagger in 1999.

LanguageEnglish
PublisherAntony Mann
Release dateMay 23, 2018
ISBN9781386216407
Taking Care of Frank
Author

Antony Mann

Antony Mann's short crime fiction has appeared many times in Crimewave and Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine. He is a winner of the Crime Writer's Association UK Short Story Dagger and has been nominated for the same award.  

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    Taking Care of Frank - Antony Mann

    Taking Care of Frank

    Frank Hewitt was no ordinary celebrity. For one thing, he had talent. For another, he had that indefinable quality which meant it didn’t matter that he didn’t have a lot of talent. He was a star. The camera loved him just as he loved it, so that the public, who always wanted so badly to love what the camera saw, could love him too, and feel as though he loved them back. Not only that, he had a rare cross-media appeal. His voice was average and comforting enough that his interpretations of show tunes and middle-of-the-road classics would always be big sellers, but down the years he had also appeared in a number of very successful second-rate films. He was charming, and lovable, yet with an intriguingly sordid past. He did beer adverts, too.

    The only trouble with Frank Hewitt was that he was still alive, and had been for some time. It was a growing disappointment to a lot of people who mattered in the entertainment industry. Somehow, despite his hard-boozing, chain-smoking, orgiastic journey through the world of showbiz, he had managed to avoid cancer, heart failure or a stroke and arrive at the age of seventy-three looking determined to make it to eighty and beyond.

    His agent (and mine), Harry Schmeltzmann, spelled it out for me on the phone.

    The trouble is, Harry was saying, "I’ve got the people from CBC on my back about the tribute show. Then there’s the biopics. Two telemovies and a feature. The Hewitt Story, Frank Hewitt: The Story, and The Story of Frankie Hewitt. It’s a contractual thing. They can’t go into full production until Frank actually kicks it. There are the exposés, too. Six unofficial biographies and two docufiction character assassinations for TV. Plus the arthouse revivals and video releases of his old movies. Not to mention the tapes and CDs of the recent Vegas shows, and the boxed sets and compilations. And guess what? There’s an interactive CD-Rom lined up. Archive material and some stupid computer game and a Frank Hewitt quiz. That’s without factoring in the hundred or so Frankie Hewitt Was a Fucking Genius articles that the broadsheets and glossies can‘t run until he croaks. You know what it’s about. All this crap is going to sell better when Hewitt is dead."

    But Hewitt is already old, I said. Can’t it wait until natural causes?

    "Wait? Why should it wait? A lot of people have put a lot of money into Frank’s career down the years. They didn’t know he was going to live this long, otherwise they might not have invested so much in the first place. Don’t you think they deserve a decent return now, while they can enjoy it? Don’t forget, Bendick, you’ll be on a percentage of gross yield after Hewitt’s death. If you knock him off."

    That percentage is microscopic, Harry, and you know it.

    "The percentage might be miniscule, but the total yield adds up to quite a slice, Stan. And I’m on a percentage of you. So don’t let me think any more that you’re discouraging me from finding you gainful employment."

    Not only that, but Harry must have been getting his own very special kickback from somewhere to be happy to sacrifice his ten percent of the fortune that Frank Hewitt pulled in every year.

    Hewitt’s big, Harry, I said. Very big. Won’t there be more heat than usual from outside?

    Possibly. But the dirt stays inside the industry, no matter who, no matter what. It has to. You know that. Stop looking for excuses.

    "But I like Frank Hewitt, I said. My dad liked Frank Hewitt. My grandfather raved about him."

    "Jesus, Bendick, everyone likes Frank Hewitt, that’s the point. Everybody loves him. Why do you think he’s so huge? But the industry needs a boost. There hasn’t been an elder statesman or Grand Dame of the entertainment world drop out of the firmament for some time now. Look, take it or leave it. I worked hard to get you this gig. I can always offer it to Grebb or Zabowski..."

    No, no, I said, with some reluctance. I’ll do it. Better that he gets it from a fan, eh?

    That’s the spirit, Bendick, said Schmeltzmann. And make it look like murder. We’ll get bigger press that way.

    LEO ZABOWSKI RANG AN hour later. I knew his ugly voice at once.

    Bendick? It’s Zabowski.

    I know who it is, I said.

    So you got the Frank Hewitt job.

    How did you find out?

    Bad news travels fast, I guess. Zabowski didn’t sound jealous at all, which was all wrong for him. "You know you only got it because Schmeltzmann is your agent and Frank Hewitt’s, don’t you?"

    "Perhaps so, Zabowski, but ask yourself this: why is Schmeltzmann one of the biggest agents in Hollywood? Because he wouldn’t touch second-raters like you with a barge-pole."

    Zabowski laughed. It was one of my least favourite noises.

    Are you okay, Zabowski? You sound like you’re choking on your own phlegm.

    That’s hilarious, Bendick. Just remember. You might have worked with the big stars for the last few years, but your time is coming to an end. This business is crying out for some new blood.

    Keep dreaming, Zabowski. The world always needs dreamers, like Frank Hewitt sings.

    Yeah, well, anyway, said Zabowski flatly, his vitriol expended.

    We waited then the both of us for the other to hang up. Eventually he got bored and softly put down the phone.

    HEWITT’S MANSION, CEDAR Grove, was out in The Hills beyond The Valley. Someone – possibly Hewitt – had cut some of the cedars down a long time ago to make way for the nine-hole golf course and the tennis courts. The two-storey white house, too big for your average family but perfect for a living Hollywood legend, sat snugly against a backdrop of evergreens.

    Hewitt’s fourth wife Clarissa met me at the front door. I had seen her photo in the gossip sheets. She was slim and blonde, perhaps naturally. Her face was set into a careless, superior expression that reflected wealth and the boredom that went with it, but she had kept her teenage looks, possibly because she was not long in her twenties.

    Stan Bendick?

    That’s right.

    Do you have your own gun or would you like to borrow one? She walked me through into the tiled reception hall and to the base of a wide staircase that curved up and around. We were surrounded by objects d’art: Monets, Epsteins, Picassos and what have you, all waiting patiently to be fought over by Clarissa and the rival ex-wives and the eight or ten children from the previous marriages.

    I patted my shoulder holster through my jacket,

    As it happens, I brought my own.

    Fine. Frank should be upstairs. Third door on the left. Could you make it quick? I’ve got a hair appointment in forty-five minutes.

    I think your hair looks fine the way it is, I said.

    She smiled sourly. Well, thanks anyway, but what would you know? She headed off

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