Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    God Gets Laid: God Gets, #1
    God Gets Laid: God Gets, #1
    God Gets Laid: God Gets, #1
    Ebook235 pages2 hours

    God Gets Laid: God Gets, #1

    By j Starsinger

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Book #1 in the "God Gets ..." series. 100 Pages of Awesome Insights with Graphics Galore! The premise of this book is that we are Godessa and God's hands and eyes on Earth and we should really get better at it. She has learned that the best way to help others is to Shut the Fork Up and listen! Since telling is offensive, and Showing the Way is the proper Way to Listen, she has created diagrams based on the Kabbalah's Tree of Life, Jewell Koans (Joans?) For your entertainment, she has also included non-sequiturs (no extra charge), a few perfectly fun run-on sentences, a typo or two, vulgarities, shocking opinions, a touch of porn and a few random redundancies.

    The Truth is, until you ask the question, you cannot hear the answer. Any answer. That is what the wheel of Archetypes is all about. That is why Astrology has been popular for as long as time can be remembered. We want to know about our selves. We need to know who we are. Why are we different from the other animals? These questions fuel our existence.

    The Author is a Spi-ritual Seeker (Looking for Routine Inspirations), who disappears into the mists of varied caves and culverts, digging for the Alchemical Pot of Gold, and she takes you with her. "She cannot give you gold, but she can demonstrate how to wield a pick; how to adjust the headlamp on your helmet, and how fast to run when your canary dies. She has been working at this project since she woke up at age six, looking down a suburban sidewalk thinking, "Where did the magic go? Why has it has come to this? Too many straight lines."

     "It must be here," she declares as she picks up her hammers, and saw where the pickaxe was tilted against the damp wall. That day she chipped away at the dense granite fog inside a particularly juicy culvert under highway 42. "I know it's in here because I saw it in this morning's dream activities, as clear as day." She described her method …

    "I catch relic concepts as they flutter by. I put them in sealed jars and when I get them home I pin their delicate little wings to a board. After searching their patterns for months, sometimes years, I distil them down to concentrated pattern elixir using my Supermax Mind Blender. If I drink it, I must live it. Mea Gulpa. This is a big sacrifice, but God & Godessa encouraged me to it and I agreed. So now here I am, an old lady bachelor peacefully informing the world of what I have learned. It had to be this way or I would have had to admit that I had spent my life as a wastrel or ne'r do well. That would be all right too, in a Universe that does not matter, but I feel that Matter does matter and that doings are at least half-matter, and possibly

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherjStarsinger
    Release dateMay 27, 2018
    ISBN9781386811176
    God Gets Laid: God Gets, #1

    Related to God Gets Laid

    Titles in the series (1)

    View More
    View More

    Related ebooks

    Self-Improvement For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Let’s Get Philosophical

      Jun 24, 2022

      Let’s Get Philosophical
      8 min read

    • Article

      Absolute Mystery

      Sep 22, 2017

      I HEAR THE WORD, of course. I go to Mass some Sundays, listen to Al Green’s Greatest Gospel Hits, and have lived in or near the Bible Belt for the better part of the past decade. Even still, the word God has never quite fitted itself to my ears. And

      7 min read

    • Article

      Blue Minded

      Apr 3, 2019

      Blue Minded
      30 min read

    • Article

      Escaping a Cult

      Nov 4, 2021

      Escaping a Cult
      5 min read

    • Article

      Raised in A CULT

      Aug 12, 2021

      Raised in A CULT
      4 min read

    • Article

      Lucy Peach Is A Period Queen

      Nov 5, 2020

      Lucy Peach Is A Period Queen
      20 min read

    • Article

      Carrie Fountain

      Mar 1, 2020

      Outside Dublin, Texas the radio stationsdisappear and I’m left alone with the faintvoice of a call-in psychologist talkingto a man in Cleveland about the voiceof the self, the narratives that voicetells, how they can be sharp and wrongand cut to the

      5 min read

    • Article

      Always Different, Always the Same

      Feb 22, 2022

      The superb science journalist Sharon Begley, who wrote a regular column for Mindful until her untimely death in early 2021, was fond of studies of personality: the different types, how much they’re influenced by our environment and our relationships,

      9 min read

    • Article

      Summer Playlist: Beyond the Cyclical

      Jun 20, 2018

      It’s summer, which means it’s time for a new playlist. Instead of seeking out new music, I decided instead to play through the songs in my current music library, combing for old or undiscovered gems. If you’re like me, you’ve accumulated music over t

      8 min read

    • Article

      Screw Wisdom

      May 16, 2017

      Screw Wisdom
      8 min read

    • Article

      Inspiration from Hermann Hesse’s Siddhartha

      Feb 28, 2019

      Hermann Hesse’s timeless book, Siddhartha, should be required reading for any spiritual seeker. The book is about Siddhartha’s journey as a respected son of a Brahmin. Everyone expects that he will follow in his father’s footsteps. He enjoys an idyll

      3 min read

    • Article

      Brenda Salgado Lets Love In

      Oct 31, 2018

      Brenda Salgado Lets Love In
      21 min read

    • Article

      Spiritual Science

      Dec 15, 2019

      Sasha Sagan was brought up in a secular Jewish household. When she was 15 she begged her mother for Christmas presents and a tree. “Although I received a very flattering forest-green pullover… I felt like a fraud,” she writes. Now, she has a husband

      8 min read

    • Article

      Death During The Times Of Covid

      Mar 3, 2021

      THAT the world, as we know it, fundamentally changed with Covid, is not seriously debatable. It was often said in jest between relatives and friends, that they found time to see one another only at weddings and funerals. Now, with grandiose weddings

      4 min read

    • Article

      Table Talk

      Sep 1, 2019

      Table Talk
      9 min read

    • Article

      A CLOSER LOOK AT Being a Fox

      Nov 1, 2017

      A CLOSER LOOK AT Being a Fox
      7 min read

    • Article

      WORLD of WONDERS

      Aug 12, 2020

      WORLD of WONDERS
      17 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for God Gets Laid

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      God Gets Laid - j Starsinger

      INTRODUCTION!

      Warning, reading this book may cause Awakening, Wonder and Enlightenment. If that is what you are looking for, then read on. After you read it, you will never be the same again. The handwriting analysis book said that about your handwriting after reading their book. The point is, the Author is a Spi-ritual Seeker (Looking for Routine Inspirations), who disappears into the mists of varied caves and culverts, digging for the Alchemical Pot of Gold, and she takes you with her. She cannot give you gold, but she can demonstrate how to wield a pick; how to adjust the headlamp on your helmet, and how fast to run when your canary dies. She has been working at this project since she woke up at age six, looking down a suburban sidewalk thinking, Where did the magic go? Why has it has come to this? Too many straight lines."

      It must be here, she declares as she picks up her hammers, and saw where the pickaxe was tilted against the damp wall. That day she chipped away at the dense granite fog inside a particularly juicy culvert under highway 42. I know it’s in here because I saw it in this morning’s dream activities, as clear as day. She described her method ...

      "I catch relic concepts as they flutter by. I put them in sealed jars and when I get them home I pin their delicate little wings to a board. After searching their patterns for months, sometimes years, I distil them down to concentrated pattern elixir using my Supermax Mind Blender. If I drink it, I must live it. Mea Gulpa. This is a big sacrifice, but God & Godessa encouraged me to it and I agreed. So now here I am, an old lady bachelor peacefully informing the world of what I have learned. It had to be this way or I would have had to admit that I had spent my life as a wastrel or ne’r do well. That would be all right too, in a Universe that does not matter, but I feel that Matter does matter and that doings are at least half-matter, and possibly 99% matter, but that is another chapter.

      The premise of this book is that we are Godessa and God’s hands and eyes on Earth and we should really get better at it. She has learned that the best way to help others is to Shut the Fork Up and listen! Since telling is offensive, and Showing the Way is the proper Way to Listen, she has created diagrams based on the Kabbalah’s Tree of Life, Jewell Koans (Joans?) For your entertainment, she has also included non-sequiturs (no extra charge), a few perfectly fun run-on sentences, a typo or two, vulgarities, shocking opinions, a touch of porn and a few random redundancies.

      The Truth is, until you ask the question, you cannot hear the answer. Any answer. That is what the wheel of Archetypes is all about. That is why Astrology has been popular for as long as time can be remembered. We want to know about our selves. We need to know who we are. Why are we different from the other animals? These questions fuel our existence.

      The day she learned that her role in life, according to Human Design, was that of Role Model Martyr, was the day she forgave herself for having made herself the brunt of many jokes. That day she held her head up high, knowing that self-deprecating humor was her gift to the world-consciousness. The Little Voice had shamed her for playing the fool, but now this new knowledge allowed her to silence the evil spell that the Little Voice had cast over her for so long. Having played her part well and understanding that, she was an Overnight Success!

      God without Godessa is no Thing at all, but put the two together and you always get one more. I don’t believe in The One God, but I do have a deep and abiding faith in the Three of Us.

      Instead of writing an entire tome, I could have more easily written Ram Dass’ three words and been done with it, but following leads, sleuthing pleura and making unfounded conclusions of my own is more fun and more in line with my nature.

      This ongoing Mystery is for us to solve in every moment. Look down, It’s all connected!

      When this writer figures a new way to explain the unexplainable with explanations, she comes up with Beatles or Bob Dylan lyrics. Poetry fits the Godessa. When in search of answers, take magic mushrooms and look through the poetry of your life. Stare at water drops as they slide down tanned skin on a hot summer day by a lake in Kansas. You cry and laugh, swim two miles and wonder how it all happened. Answers don’t line up for inspection.

      We have normalized many forms of insanity during our stroll/race down the Earthly pathway. It is time for a change and even though they say that change is difficult, it is really easy if you simply let go and float down the River. Some get bruised while others drown, but in an eternal universe, so what? We all make that dark leap sooner or later. So let go with me and stroll through my partly cloudy, partly sunny observations about managing life on Earth for all. Enjoy the ride and no matter what:

      WELCOME TO BEING HERE NOW!

      Dragons of the Sun and the Moon

      THE MANY TREES

      Everyone you know got here from an Orgasm

      The Three Pillars of The Tree of Life. Mem/Chaos, Aleph/Leader, Shin/Sharp

      The Three Pillars

      IN THIS FIRST OF A series, I will deal with the three pillars. This Tree of Life is the Kabbalist system associated with Jewish Mysticism. Rabbis spend their mature years studying, arguing and learning from this wisdom. Many well-informed and committed people have agonized over the meanings of this tree, but I am not one of them. Having lightly grazed the surface of its pathways, like a true Gemini, I have learned that this frequently incomprehensible system must be digested in smaller bites. We are neither Yin nor Yang, black nor white. We do express both qualities, but here in reality, and we are neither black nor white. We are the gray center. The extremes are the God and the Godessa, the Right and the Left. The big secret is out - all of Creation manifests on the center pillar, where we live in the Now. There, I said it. Please do not burn me at the stake.

      The Tree represents primal forces. The Left Pillar is dark and magnetic. The Right Pillar is light and dynamic. The Middle Pillar is where that cosmic hen comes to roost. We are the Middle. We are the Two into One. Mystery Solved! We are as Gods, so getting better at it would be a stellar choice!

      I have been looking at the Tree of Life for twenty years now, comparing it to Astrology and Numerology and Car Parts, etc., and I feel confident that translating the ancient Hebrew woo-woo into plain language with a few frills, graphics and irreverent comments here and there can bring the concepts to you in a fresh way. And I do mean fresh, dammit!

      That triangle pointing downward, like a woman’s pubes is the Dark Feminine. The upward pointing triangle, like a man’s erection is the Bright Sword. If you put the two trines together you get a center star on the middle pillar; a Leader. Who is that Leader with both properties of Divine gender? That would be us, folks. We are the star with six Tentacles ever reaching to create more knowledge for our parents, ourselves, the Godessa and God.

      We belong here on Earth. We are not an accident. We have a job to do, which is simply to - - - Wake UP and use our appendages to describe Life to our blind and deaf Divine Parents. Mother has no mind and Father has no body. Don’t you see? As they come together to become us. We are the project, the projection of the Divines. We must stop being humble and hubristic at the same time. Stop saying God is elsewhere. Stop it. Stop saying He is alone. Stop it. Start knowing we are as Gods. Start it. Start it now and get better at it Now.

      Traditional Tree of Life

      EACH CIRCLE CONTAINS a quality that represents the process of evolution. Everything evolves, including the non-physical. Keter, Gateway, at the top starts the zig zag lightning bolt action that travels all the way to the bottom circle, called Malchut, The Kingdom. This book deals with the three pillars alone; Feminine on the left, Masculine on the right, and Creation in the center.

      We experience the energies of the Left and the Right, but we are creatures of the Center. The better we Understand the basic Three pillars, the easier it will be to get the rest of it.

      Hipster Tree of Life

      Modern Archetypes on the Tree of Life

      CHICKS, DUDES AND HERMAPHRODITE is my way of getting into the Tree of Life without the mystical Kabbalist Hebrew stuff. In case you are wondering, we are the Hermaphrodites. Bringing it into the modern age makes it totally accessible to us, thus fulfilling its purpose, to instruct us on how to become better Godessas and Gods. The Gods are all words and no forms. The Gods are ineffectual The Godessas are all forms and no words. The Godessas are illiterate. As their combined Humun agents I would like to introduce a new Archetype:

      Humanity, The Literate Godessa...

      IF YOU ARE WONDERING where we fit it, then I will tell you - at the bottom, and the top, in the Middle. If the bottom makes you feel horizontally disdained, do not despair, because bottoms and tops are all the same. In other words, Keter and Malchut are the same, just different in their respective intensities.

      Like a Mobius strip, give it a twist, tape the two ends together and there you have it; the Magical Universe in a nutshell. Dr. Jewell says, Drop some acid and call me in the morning. In other words, step out of your straight mind and float into a Dreamier place. Relax and give Chaos Her due and give Reason a Rest. Some things are just meant to be lived, not analyzed.

      Mobius – Begending to Understand

      Mobius, path to Understanding Ceation itself!

      Zodiac Tree

      THE PURPOSE OF THIS book is to get you in touch with the true energies, or archetypes, that control us. By naming and re-naming the same ten spheres, giving them different genres, you will notice that having too many concepts can really spoil a soup, and having many contexts can save it. Context is were we are in the now and how we got here. Context is the cloth of our Now. The Tree of Life is an armature on which to drape our Context. We are tailors and tinkers, making and perfecting Life itself. It’s about time we Understand our place in life and tinker with our divine purpose through the Sacred Physical.

      Weather Forest

      Bird’s Eye View

      A skitch is the name for a hurricane pattern that looks like a Gordian Knot or a series of vaginal openings.

      Skitch

      Von Karman vortices downwind from Rashiri Island, North Sea of Japan.

      The vortices are like those found in superfluids. NASA 2001 space shuttle

      REALITY IS CENTERED in a place and time, between extremes, like the giant Vulva Monster above. Mother Nature really! Must you be so obvious?

      The weather pattern above is just a different perspective of nine Trees seen from the top view. If only I could explain this to you using my hands! Imagine you are holding the center pillar in your hand, like a Stick. Turn your hand toward your face and look at the top of the stick. The small circle at the top of the stick is the Eye of the storm, the pillar of Equilibrium. Those arms with spheres on each end are twirling around the still center.

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1