Just Choose Happiness: A Guide to Joyous Living

NELL W.MOHNEY

A Guide

to Joyous

Living

A b i n g d o n   P r e s s / N a s h v i l l e

Copyright © 2009 by Abingdon Press

All rights reserved.

No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted by the 1976 Copyright Act or in writing from the publisher. Requests for permission can be addressed to Abingdon Press, P.O. Box 801, 201 Eighth Avenue South, Nashville, TN 37202-0801, or e-mailed to permissions@abingdonpress.com.

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Mohney, Nell.

Just choose happiness : a guide to joyous living / Nell W. Mohney.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-0-687-64723-1 (pbk. : alk. paper)

1. Happiness—Religious aspects—Christianity. I. Title.

BV4647.J68M64 2009

248.4—dc22

2008046398

All scripture quotations unless noted otherwise are taken from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1989, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James or Authorized Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations marked NIV taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. All rights reserved throughout the world. Used by permission of International Bible Society.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Verses marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.

09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18—10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

MANUFACTURED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Introduction

1. Choose Life

2. Choose Gratitude

3. Choose Not to Live in the Past

4. Choose to Live Today

5. Choose to Have a Beautiful Tomorrow

6. Choose Laughter

7. Choose Fitness of Body, Mind, and Spirit

8. Choose Prayer Power

9. Choose Christ, Not Chaos

10. Choose the Secret of Happiness and Power

To my late husband,

Dr. Ralph Wilson Mohney, Sr.,

who brought me great happiness in this life,

and whose joyous commitment to Jesus Christ

gave me a foretaste of happiness in the world to come

In seminars I have conducted over a thirty-year period, I have discovered that what the majority of people seem to want most is happiness.Many of those participants drove to the seminars in luxury cars, and they all looked well fed and well dressed. Yet, individually, they often expressed disappointment with life and admitted to having a feeling of emptiness. They wanted, and even felt entitled to, more happiness.

Many authors writing about this subject suggest that happiness is the result of maintaining good physical health and taking the right vitamins.Others equate happiness with how we think, or how much of the world's wealth we can amass. Of course, there is some truth in each of these approaches as part of the answer.

The cost of health care has risen to almost unmanageable proportions in part because we haven't learned to take care of our bodies. Also, the fact that one half of all hospital beds in the western world are occupied by people with emotional or mental illness indicates a need for transforming our minds (W. E. Sangster, The Secret of Radiant Living [Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan, 1988], 7).

Additionally, the abject poverty in our world must grieve the heart of God. We as Christians must work for justice in political and economic systems, as well as learn to manage our own finances and develop the gift of generosity. Still, a full stomach, a healthy body and mind, and enough money to provide for necessities will not take the ache from the human soul.

I am one of those who truly believe that the basic answer to happiness is a spiritual one. We are made for God, and as St. Augustine said, Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee. All aspects of our personalities are drawn to wholeness and happiness when Christ is resident within.

In studying the life of Christ, I remembered anew that though Jesus was a man of sorrow and acquainted with grief, more than anything else, he was a person of joy and happiness. His last will and testament given to his disciples just before he died was this: I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete (John 15:11).

Christ's purpose in coming into the world is revealed in John 10:10: I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. This abundant life, I believe, is to be had not only in the world to come but also in the here and now, where a series of committed choices can cause your spirit to sing.

We'll explore these committed choices—one in each chapter. There is a section at the end of each chapter entitled Digging a Little Deeper that can be used for individual reflection or group discussion, making the book appropriate for both individual and group study. May you find this small volume a guidebook to joyous, happy living.

C H A P T E R   O N E

I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live. (Deuteronomy 30:19)

Tim, how can you be so happy when you live in excruciating pain? I asked Dr. Tim Hansel in a conference I was attending. All of us were drawn to this handsome keynote speaker who illumined the words of life and Christian vitality with humor and persuasion. At each session, he threw a rope of hope to those of us who were struggling with ordinary, everyday problems. We left each session feeling that we were more than conquerors through him who loved us" (Romans 8:37).

It was in a small social group following an evening session that we learned through the hostess that Tim had been seriously injured in a mountain-climbing expedition. For a while, doctors believed that Tim would not survive. He lived, but daily he faces excruciating pain. I had asked the question of Tim because I know it is one thing to be happy and have a sense of well-being when everything is going well; it is quite another when your body is wracked with pain.

When I asked the question, Tim put down his cup of tea, looked me directly in the eyes, and replied, Every morning when I get up, I choose to be happy. You can choose to be happy, or you can choose to be miserable. I choose to be happy. Many years later, I heard another Christian author and speaker, Barbara Johnson, say similar words in a conference: Pain is inevitable, but misery is a choice. I'd like to add, And so is happiness.

Then Tim said, If you think I am happy, you ought to know my friend Mark. He described his friend as a football coach at a western university and then added that Mark has no hands. He uses hooks, and he has become so adept at using them that he also plays tennis and rides a bike.

Tim told us that Mark sometimes takes off the hooks. When he encounters amazed stares or questions, Mark unselfconsciously responds with good humor and a happy, accepting attitude. For example, one day Tim accompanied Mark to the grocery store before they left to go to a church meeting. Because Mark didn't have on the hooks, he used both wrists to pick up the items and drop them into the grocery cart. At the cereal counter, two boys about six or seven years old watched in disbelief as Mark found his cereal of choice and used his wrists to transfer the box into the cart. Then came the inevitable question: Mister, what happened to your hands? Mark, in mock surprise, looked down and said, Oh, my goodness, where are they? I must have left them up among the cereal boxes. The boys quickly joined in the search until Mark declared, Now I remember.The boys asked in unison, What? Mark's fun reply was, When I washed my hands this morning, I must have left them lying on the lavatory.

How would you handle the loss of both hands? Would it destroy your happiness and even lead to bitterness? That story confirmed for me the truth of this statement: What happens to you is not as important as your reaction to what happens to you. This was certainly true of the children of Israel when they left the slavery of Egypt to become a nation during their years in the wilderness, eventually moving into the Promised Land.

When the children of Israel were looking over into the Promised Land, God spoke to them through Moses: I call heaven and earth to witness against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live (Deuteronomy 30:19).

Think of it. The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for forty years and finally were at the fulfillment of a dream, yet they were afraid and unsure that they had what was necessary to move into the challenge of a new lifestyle. God was telling them that they could stay in the shadows of fear and despondency (death of the spirit), or they could, in trust and faith, move forward toward life. God said, Choose life.

Often we have an opportunity to move toward a new challenge, but we are afraid to move out of safe yet unhappy and deadening ruts. God must surely be saying to us, Choose life. Will we heed the words or stay in the shadows? God has given us freedom of choice, and he will never bulldoze his way into our lives. The choice is ours. As Tim Hansel said during the conference I attended, We choose happiness at the core of who we are when we invite Christ to live within us not only as Savior but also as Lord. We invite him in as King to reign forever, and not just as president to serve for a four-year term. This is the first step in choosing life and happiness—inviting Christ to live within us.

Are Your Flags Flying?

In 1984, my husband, Ralph, and I did a ministerial exchange in England. We thoroughly enjoyed our time there and loved the English people. Soon we discovered that when the Queen was in residence at Buckingham Palace, her flag flew above the palace. The apostle Paul tells us in Galatians 5:22-23 that when Christ is in residence within us, the following flags will be flying in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

These flags don't fly at full mast the moment we choose to invite Christ in. Rather, as we live daily in his presence and open every room of our lives to his loving presence, we feel a new sense of happiness and power. Living with Christ is very different