Silverblade: Silverblade Book 1

BELLA’S BOOKS

Triple Threat:

Reckless

Tragic Soul

Triple Threat

Triple Time

Rubbed Raw

Raw Reunion

Chasing Chad

Dual Desires

Desires Delivered

Wicked End:

Wicked End

Passionate Needs

Sinful Needs

Fulfilling Needs

Prelude to a Wicked Wedding

Gasoline:

Gasoline

Persistent Urges

Evolving Urges

Forever Urges

Final Urges

Silverblade:

Silverblade

In the works:

Unexpected Romance (Silverblade Book 2)

Brass Monkey

Mark of the Devil

Hands of Fate

Winter Winds

Wounded Hearts

Velocity Series:

Rockin’ Rhythm – Ash’s book

Shredding Dreams – Ian’s book

In the works:

Silver Strings – Bryce’s book

Driving Reigns – Leo’s book

Erotic Tales:

Double Dominance

Insatiable Appetites

PREFACE

It's not easy to make a comeback, but it's even harder when your heart’s not in it. When Shane first came to me, he was obviously broken. I needed to know why. That meant he needed his own book. It turned into something much more.

In this book you will meet the remnants of Silverblade. Shane and Carter are recovering addicts, inspired by their bandmates’ overdose. Shane is still knee deep in grief. His bandmates and his best friend’s widow, Patty, do all they can to help Shane cope with the pain and guilt. However, it seems he’ll never recover… until a talented bassist opens his eyes to a new beginning.

DEDICATION

Music is supposed to bring out emotion. Is it any wonder it’s my biggest inspiration? Those of you who have read my other books know that I’m a live music addict. Those concerts sometimes trigger ideas that turn into something I never expected. The same is true of rocker’s real life’s struggles. I want to thank the musicians who tell us about the struggle through their lyrics.

My biggest influences for this book were: Papa Roach, Puddle of Mudd, Three Days Grace, Pop Evil, Nickelback, Shinedown and as always Avenged Sevenfold.

How can I forget my awesome team? Kathy, Sandy, Traci, Anita, Patricia, Donna, Sonia, LaDonna, Christa, Stephanie, Lisa, April, the Donna and Stephanie duo, Coralee, SG, Ruby, Camillie and Amy. No matter where you fit in, I appreciate all your efforts!

Remember, many are struggling with addiction. They need our support and sometimes our intervention. Tell an addict you still love them. They just might need to hear it.

MEET THE BANDS

SILVERBLADE:

Shane Martin - Lead Vocals/Rhythm Guitar

Kyle Savage - Drums

Carter Keys - Lead Guitar

GASOLINE:

Dominic Spinelli - Lead Guitar

Dean Johnson - Vocals/Rhythm Guitar

Jon Harris - Drums

Tommy Fischer - Bass

WICKED END:

Brandon Knight - Lead Guitar

Jake Thompson - Vocals

Chico Rivera - Drums

Scott Mason - Bass

Austin Reese - Rhythm Guitar

TRIPLE THREAT:

Chad McLoughlin - Lead Guitar

Chris Bradley - Vocals

Giovanni Saracino - Drums

Crystal Atkinson - Bass

CHAPTER ONE

Shane Martin sat in his car, unsure if he was doing the right thing. He gripped the steering wheel while his mind spun. Nothing mattered anymore. A year prior, he’d been the lead singer and rhythm guitarist of Silverblade. That seemed like a lifetime ago. He wasn’t sure what his future held.

He glanced up and caught his reflection in the rearview mirror. The bags under his eyes were commonplace. The red that rimmed his blue irises showed the lack of sleep. His gaze shifted and landed on a familiar house.

His vehicle sat in the driveway of Patricia Hudson, a childhood friend who went by Patty. A year ago, he’d promised to stay in touch and take care of her. He wasn’t sure he could anymore. The reminders killed him on every visit.

Resigned to follow through on his promise, he opened the car door and stepped out into the August heat. Summer in New York could be brutal. That year was no exception. Like him, Patty lived in Long Beach, New York, which was on Long Island.

Dressed in all black, the sun beat on his back. Since high school, he followed his own path. The good thing was he didn’t go it alone.

Hey, Shane. Patty hugged him as soon as she opened the front door. Was afraid you changed your mind. She took in his tired expression. Still have insomnia?

He held her loosely. He still saw her as his best friend’s wife. Yeah, I’ll be OK.

To soothe him, she ran her fingers through his long, dark hair. The gray had become even more prominent than the last time she’d seen him. It looked good on him, but she knew it made him self-conscious. She wanted to dye it, but he didn’t seem to want to change anything at all.

Shane suddenly stepped back and followed her into the living room. Instantly, memories began to surface. He stared at the couch. Patty hadn’t had the heart to replace it even though she never sat on it. His last memory of Troy Hudson, his best friend and his band’s bassist, haunted him.

*** ♫♪♫♪ ***

Hours Before Troy’s Death…

Troy’s at it again, Patty complained when Shane answered the phone. They’re calling the cops if someone doesn’t go get him.

Shane sighed and sat up in bed. I got it. He glanced at his girlfriend, Amber. She was sleeping off a bender they’d gone on. Give me a few to… uh… change. He almost said sober up. I’ll bring him home as soon as I can. Troy’s at it meant Troy had gotten into a fight and was either still causing trouble or hurt.

After a cold shower, two cups of coffee and a few slaps to the face, Shane headed to Troy’s favorite bar. They’d hung out there before they were famous. Since Silverblade became popular, only Troy took the chance of being recognized. The rest of the band chose places with security, just in case.

He drove with a scowl. Troy left rehab less than a week ago. He’d already reverted to the usual stunts. It didn’t help that he’d signed himself out after two weeks.

Once he arrived, Shane found Troy passed out at the end of the bar. He glanced up at the bartender. Whiskey or Tequila?

Tequila.

Shane groaned. That meant Troy would be puking soon enough. He grabbed Troy by the arm and dragged him to his car. Why can’t you handle shit like I do? He dumped him in the passenger seat and shook his head. You don’t see me passing out in bars and fucking with everyone anymore. Do you?

The last fight Shane had involved Brandon Knight of Wicked End, over drugs. Shane didn’t remember many details. The only thing he recalled was his fury. Brandon was upset that Shane and Troy were doing lines of cocaine just offstage when already quite high.

That night had taught Shane a lot. It’d been the opening day of their first headlining tour. Less than an hour after the fight, Troy had passed out right on stage. He’d broken his bass and received a concussion.

That had started Troy’s downfall. When he’d gone further downhill, constantly high, they’d forced him into rehab. Maybe that’s why it didn’t work.

When Shane pulled into Troy’s driveway, he turned off the car and glanced at Troy again. He snored, oblivious to his own destructive behavior. Cuts and bruises speckled his face. Beyond aggravated, Shane stepped out. Within a minute, he walked up the stairs to Troy’s home with Troy over his shoulder.

Patty had the front door open before Shane knocked. She was a nervous wreck. He hated that Troy put her through hell. He’s out like a light. With a grunt, he dropped Troy on the couch. You should put a bucket next to him… tequila.

I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Patty was in tears.

Shane grabbed her arms. Don’t say that.

You don’t understand. He does this all the time. I can’t live like this. Every night, I wonder if he’ll come home at all. I can’t keep doing this. Look at him.

Um… Thinking was complicated. Shane wasn’t as sober as he seemed. Getting clean’s not easy.

She looked up at him with tears still on her cheeks. You did it.

No, I didn’t, he admitted softly.

The next morning, Patty called to say Troy was dead. Shane felt guilty as if he should have known something was amiss. He had no idea Troy had also taken high doses of numerous drugs. If he’d known, instead of bringing him home, he would have gone to a hospital.

It took him months to let that guilt go. He still carried a piece of it. It was the biggest reason the band was no more.

*** ♫♪♫♪ ***

Present Day…

You OK? Patty laid a hand on Shane’s arm.

He shook his head to force the memory away. Uh, yeah, just crap goin’ through my mind.

I know what you mean. Patty led the way to the large balcony in the rear of the house. She used that in the warm months instead of the living room. Has she finally stopped calling? She sat in a cushioned wicker rocker.

Shane knew she meant his druggie ex-girlfriend, Amber. Yeah. He sat next to her and sighed. They’re all alike.

His response almost made her grin. The bitch finally gave up. Amber had wreaked havoc on his life and jaded him to a point. The first few months back from rehab, she’d checked on him twice a day.

At one point, he’d fallen into a depression, which improved with therapy. From his behavior, he might be regressing into it. I’m not gonna let that happen.

Although he hid some things from most people, he couldn’t hide much from her. She had known immediately when he’d found out Amber had given him a curable STD. It embarrassed him he’d been stupid enough to trust her.

After his ex, Lacey, had screwed him over, she thought he would be more careful. His constant state of high had allowed his guard to come down.

She wanted to wipe the streets with most of his exes. Amber had stolen from him and lied about almost everything. Patty had known it, but he hadn’t been able to accept it. Once he’d gotten sober, he saw it all.

You’ll find someone who’s stable and has your best interests at heart. She palmed his cheek to show how much she cared. She’s out there.

He shook his head. Doubt it. They all want something from me. Fuck relationships. Fuck women. He glanced up sheepishly. That doesn’t include you. He smiled when she did. No woman is like you. You’re one in a million. He took a deep breath. She can never know I’m attracted to her. It’s just wrong. Can we change the subject?

Sure. She sat back. I wanna auction off most of Troy’s guitars and start a charity to help young people get clean...

She’d hoped to avoid tears, but it didn’t seem to be possible. After she took a few deep breaths, she met his eyes.

Before it’s too late. She wanted to ease his pain, but she wasn’t sure if her idea would make it better or worse. Will you be on the board and help out some?

Of course. It was the least Shane could do. It’s not like I have anything else to do. He’d done nothing for the past year, except kick drugs and alcohol. Rehab was tough but worth it. I can donate some stuff, and I’m sure the other guys will, too. If you want, we can sign autographs. I think we still have some fans.

She rolled her eyes. "You think you still have fans? Shane, they play Silverblade’s music on the radio all the time. Your fans never gave up. Don’t you read the things people post? They’re hoping for a new record."

It’s over. Shane looked past the railing, at Reynolds Channel beyond. The calm water didn’t soothe him as it usually did. I can’t move on like nothing happened. The night Silverblade finished their last album flooded his mind. He wished he could forget it.

*** ♫♪♫♪ ***

Eighteen Months Before Troy’s Death…

Dude, one more, Troy insisted, as he held out a small mirror with lines of cocaine on it.

Shane shook his head. I’m fucked up enough as it is. He stumbled into a wall and sighed. We trash another hotel room and the label’s gonna drop us. They were under one of the largest record labels in the country, who were not amused by the band’s usual antics.

Your loss, Troy grinned and finished them all.

Shocked, Shane gaped at him. Are you fuckin’ nuts? Troy had already done too much. I think you had enough. He swiped the mirror away.

Fine. Troy grabbed a bottle of whiskey and guzzled it. This works, too.

Kyle Savage, their drummer and only non-addict, yanked the bottle from Troy’s hand. "You have had enough."

Party pooper. Troy laughed and shoved Shane which forced them both off balance.

Kyle caught them. You guys need to chill. No more. He grabbed Troy by the arms and directed him to one of the beds. Sleep it off, man.

Shane watched as Troy’s eyes rolled back, then he was still. Now we can bring in the girls. His sorry ass woulda got them all high. Laughter filled the room. Dumbass can’t hold his liquor anyway.

About an hour later, Dave Connor, their guitar tech, stood next to the bed. He looked down at Troy. I don’t think he’s breathin’. He shook Troy as he looked up at Carter Keys, the lead guitarist. Hey! I’m not kiddin’. Troy! Wake the fuck up!

Shane was on the other bed with a groupie. He’s fakin’ it.

No he’s not. Kyle knelt on the bed. He’s got a faint pulse. Oh shit!

The next few hours were a blur. They rushed Troy to the hospital. He’d overdosed for at least the fourth time in his life. He spent several days there but refused rehab. It forced Shane and Carter to cut down their drug use. However, alcohol became more prevalent. It didn’t slow Troy down one bit.

*** ♫♪♫♪ ***

Present Day…

You’re not listening, are you? Patty shook her head.

She frowned at Shane, lost in thought. She worried about him. The past year was hardest on him somehow. Her grief had consumed her, but she’d seen Troy’s death coming. Depressed more often than not, he’d refused to stop using.

She’d begged him many times to get clean. They had wanted to have children, but she opposed it until he could stay sober. She regretted that. Although she’d expected him to do something stupid, she’d hoped he would change.

Her eyes drifted back to Shane. He had always been there for her and Troy. She’d met Troy and Shane at the same time, in Junior High School. The bond between them had been evident even at that age. She hadn’t felt like a third wheel, though. They had included her as one of the guys.

Troy had been sweet, but Shane’s blue eyes had caught her attention. Shane looked at her as solely a friend, so she’d never pursued him. When Troy had asked her out, she hadn’t hesitated. They had been close even before they’d started dating.

Shane had been just a crush. Troy had been easy to fall in love with. They’d shared many firsts together. If he hadn’t gotten into drugs, they might have had a fairytale life.

It was odd how much Troy and Shane had in common. Except for their eye color, they looked somewhat alike and were both six feet tall. Both were model level hot and inked. However, Shane had fewer tattoos. Each one meant something special to him.

She’d encouraged them both to pose for calendars and posters in almost nothing. When the opportunity to pose for Playgirl arose, she’d pushed them to agree to it. Many of those pictures were on her laptop in a secure folder. Some were unpublished full nudes.

The first time she’d seen Shane naked, her mouth dropped. Her husband had been hot but not well-endowed like Shane. After that, she’d fantasized about a threesome. Troy had been quite possessive, so it stayed just that. Still, she’d imagined it often. When they’d been away, she used that to get herself off.

Patty shook the carnal thoughts of her husband’s best friend from her mind. Shane? Shane? Earth to Shane.

His head snapped around. Huh?

I lost you for a while there. Patty laughed. Hope you were thinking of something good. She bit her bottom lip and blushed as his naked image came to mind again.

Shane closed his eyes. Not really. He took a deep breath before he met her gaze. What were you saying?

Troy would’ve wanted you guys to move on. Patty swallowed. It was difficult to hold her tears back. Memories of Troy replaced her lustful vision. He’d be pissed if he knew you’re still grieving. Find a replacement and finish the tour you started.

With a frown, he shrugged. We can’t just do that. The label let us go. He toyed with his bottom lip. I kinda told them we’d never play again.

Any label would be lucky to have you, she assured him. He obviously wasn’t convinced, so she sat on the bench with him. Do you realize how many people got sober because of Troy’s death? And because you and Carter went public with your recovery? You’re gonna let that go to waste? Your fans need you.

He stood and walked into the house. Life overwhelmed him again. Troy would have found a way to continue their dream if anyone else would have died.

Shane knew they’d already helped people. They received messages online all the time from fans that were sober because of them. They posted pictures of their AA coins sometimes as well. He’d never looked at them, but Kyle mentioned them often.

Patty sighed and followed Shane. She watched him sit at the kitchen table before he held his head in his hands. As silently as possible, she passed him and retrieved her laptop from the office. When she came back, he hadn’t moved. She pulled up Troy’s tribute page and turned the laptop toward him.

Have you seen this? She waited for him to look up. Check out the comments.

Begrudgingly, Shane glanced at the screen. He had the page added to their website, but he’d done nothing other than approving the final structure.

After he read only a few comments, he was in awe. There were emotional confessions, messages of gratitude, words of encouragement for them, and many said they hoped the band could move on. He barely held back tears. Patty knew him well. It was what he needed to see. The fans wanted them to move on.

Do one tour. Patty laid a hand on Shane’s arm. If it’s too much, then quit.

He shook his head. Can’t.

Absently, he clicked on the photos page. Instead of closing the browser, he scrolled through them. He hadn’t looked at pictures in months. In most, he and Troy were smiling. The ones of them onstage made him grin.

Happy memories filled his mind. He saw them as they sang together, joked around, and interacted with the audience. Troy had loved to rile the crowd up at shows. He would throw his shirt in the pit after he’d shoved it down his pants. Girls were crazy about him.

Even with his drug and alcohol use, Troy had stayed faithful to Patty. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t deal sober? Shane glanced at Patty. Nah. Troy had loved her more than Shane thought possible. They’d been together since they were 14. Both had helped Shane through a lot of rough shit. It was his turn to pay them back.

Patty reached over and clicked on a video she didn’t recognize. It was likely taken with a phone. She smiled when Shane and Troy came into focus, Troy’s arm was over Shane’s shoulder.

This guy. Troy pointed to Shane. This is my best fuckin’ friend in the whole world. It was obvious they’d been at a bar, drinking heavily. No matter what, he’s got my back. Troy turned and kissed Shane’s cheek. Love you, man.

A tear rolled down Shane’s face. He remembered the night well. They’d been in a bar somewhere in the Midwest after an early gig. The other patrons hadn’t appreciated their rowdiness or vulgar language.

After they commandeered a corner of the establishment, they’d had a ball and took video of most of it. That had bitten them in the ass for a few weeks. Once the buzz died down, the videos were reposted for the fans.

Tours were fun, most of the time. Sometimes it became quite lonely, which was why he hadn’t been able to resist groupies. He missed playing. Since he was a young child, he loved to sing and play guitar.

I’ll try. Shane held Patty’s hand. OK? That’s all I can offer.

Patty smiled. Good. Talk to him if you have to.

CHAPTER TWO

When Shane pulled up to his home, he noticed Kyle’s bike in the driveway. He parked his Mazda RX-8 next to it and prepared for another speech. Kyle wanted Shane to get help for his depression. Always the level-headed one, Kyle looked out for them all.

Kyle and Carter had become part of Shane, Troy, and Patty’s circle in high school. It’d been a no brainier to start a band together with Patty as their only groupie. After that, they’d gone on a wild ride to stardom. Their friendship had never faltered, no matter what happened. Shane was lucky to have such amazing people in his life.

Where’ve you been? Kyle got to his feet from his seat on the stairs.

Shane sighed. Patty’s. She wants to start a charity in Troy’s name.

Cool idea. Kyle followed Shane to the front door. I didn’t ring the bell. She home?

After a glance at his friend, Shane replied, No. Still at her mom’s. She’s mad at me.

What else’s new? Kyle chuckled as they entered the large house. She’s ungrateful. He wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator. They were there solely for Shane’s friends. So… did Patty mention the tour with Gasoline?

Shane glared at him. "This is your idea?"

Nope. Kyle put a hand up. She heard about it all on her own. Rumors been flying around for a few weeks now. She asked me to talk to you about it. No way in hell was I doin’ that. You’d clock me.

The image made Shane smile. "Probably. She didn’t mention Gasoline but said we should just do one tour. He leaned on a wall and sighed. I dunno."

It’s cool. Kyle put his elbows on the island counter. Don’t rush it. He smirked. Tommy Fisher sent me some pictures a few hours ago. They did some show in Michigan last night. He took a long pull from his beer bottle. Said he met this crazy-ass set of twins. You won’t believe what they did to him. He and Tommy, Gasoline’s bassist, kept in touch, although Shane had turned down the tour offer.

Shane couldn’t imagine Tommy fighting off twins. You sure it wasn’t Dominic? He’s the timid one. Dominic Spinelli was Gasoline’s lead guitarist.

That’d be a sight to see. Dominic and two chicks. Kyle leaned his head on his arm in hysterics. Almost as funny as getting Troy to do a groupie.

Yeah. Shane couldn’t envision that either. At least he let them down easy.

Kyle rose to his feet again and headed to the living room. Come on. Let me show you the pictures.

They stood in front of Shane’s desktop. Kyle easily connected the wide screen television to the video output. Then they both sat on the couch with the wireless keyboard and mouse.

You goin’ to Tommy’s birthday party next week? Shane asked.

Kyle nodded. Wouldn’t miss it. You know how those parties get. Carter’s going, too. He paused. You’re not?

Wasn’t going to. Shane sunk into the couch. I haven’t done anything social since-

Yeah. Kyle wished he could