Social Skills

Table of Contents

Social

Social

Social

Skills

Personal growth from assertiveness

and affective intelligence

––––––––

Miguel D’Addario

PhD

––––––––

Fourth edition

European Community

2018

Index

Author

Introduction

Human Relations

Accepting yourself

Discipline

In any case, it’s necessary to advance

How to relate with conflictive people

Passive behavior

Aggressive behavior

Human maturity

The communication and its elements

The elements in the communication process can be

Communicational barriers

What is a dialect?

The scientific languages or technics

Talk plane, clear and honest

Posture and movement

Gestures and face expressions

Personal looks, your way of dressing

Your voice and vocal variety

Usage of language pauses and fillers

Use the humor

Being one self

First conclusions

Social Psychology

Social interaction

Variables that studies the social psychology

The variables are:

Attitudes: composition, acquisition and modification

Classification

According to the social implication degree

Situation of the crowd in the psychological state

Roles in the operational group

Roles classification

The social power

Emotional and intelligence skills

Development of human intelligence

Theories of intelligence

Theory of multiple intelligences

Triarchic theory of intelligence

Theory of emotional intelligence

Biological aspects of Emotional Intelligence

Components of emotional intelligence

Self-awareness

Control of emotions

The motivation

Empathy

Social relationships

Models about the emotional intelligence conception

Charles Darwin. Biological approach

Cannon and Bard. The neurological tradition

Freud Psychoanalytic tradition

Skinner Behaviorist approach.

Activation theories

Cognitive theories

LeDoux (the emotional brain)

Psychoneuroimmunology theory

Intelligence and emotions

Handling emotions

Motivate one-self

Establish relations

Self esteem

Decision making

Social skills

Social Skills (S. S.)

Components of social skills

Therefore, social skills are NOT

S. S Characteristics

How are the socially unskillful people?

Why train social skills?

The assertive response

The assertive people have as characteristics:

The behavioral components of social skills are:

Communication style: Aggressive and inhibited

The S. S in the professional scope

Concept of social skill

Social skills models

Component elements of social skill

Then the three components of social skills

Paralinguistic communication

Verbal communication

Dimensions of social skills

Cognitive differences

Physiological differences

Training in social skills

Analysis of formation needs

Training design

Diagnosis of training needs

Planning

Execution

Evaluation

Formation methods

Techniques

Pre and post training environment

Training evaluation

Social skills evaluation

Techniques for evaluating social skills training

Questionnaires

Behavioral observation

Observation in simulated situations

Structured free interaction tests

Half-structured tests of extensive interaction

The self-registration

Exercise. Use of the register

Socialization of Social Skills

Self esteem

Assertiveness

Socialization of social skills

Strategies and methods in social skills

Strategic method

Training in different social skills

Active listening

What is truly active listening?

Elements that makes active listening easier

Elements to avoid in active listening

Skills for active listening

Phases of the hostility curve

1st Rational phase

2nd Phase of firing or exit

3rd Phase of slowdown

4th Phase of coping

5th Cooling phase

6th Phase of solving the problem

Actions in front of a hostility situation

Test and practical exercises

Powerful questions about social skills

Self-Registered Exercise II

Social skill test with optional answers

Exercise to say NO

Social skills test with analyzed situations

Exercise: Arguments for saying NO

Rosenberg self-esteem test

Exercise: Ask others

Test of anxiety and social avoidance of Watson and Friend

Exercise: asking for the claims sheet

Make a self-record of those situations in which I made a complaint, pointing:

Structural diagram of the individual and the relationship with himself

The Circle of Social Ability

What is the Circle of Social Skill?

Why is it important to do it on paper?

Circle of Social Skill

Parts of the Circle

Assertiveness

Affective intelligence

Communication

Social relationships

Self-esteem

Respect

Empathy

Emotions

Circle of Social Skill

Regulated circle to complete

Example of completed circle

Glossary of terms

Bibliography

Author

He’s a graduate journalist, Master in Social Education, Master in Sociology and Doctorate in Social Communication by the Complutense University of Madrid.

He has developed his experience in several fields of teaching, from the Professional Formation until the University level, in Iberic-America as well as in Europe.

PhD and essayist, he has won awards and mentions from writers’ associations, cultural centers, universities and related venues. Equally as speaker, lecturer and investigator, in universities, educational centers, both public and private.

Author of artistic books: Poetry, Tales and Stories.

Author of educative books, of various themes and levels.

His books are distributed in all five continents, they are of assiduous consultation in libraries in all over the world, and they are sign in the catalogs ISBNs and in International bases in bibliography.

They are translated in multiple languages and can be found in internationals bookstores, in paper form or electronic version.

Author books web

http://migueldaddariobooks.blogspot.com

Introduction

The social skills (sometimes designated as a social competence) doesn't have a unique and final definition, because there is a concept confusion in this subject, given the fact that there's no agreement in scientific and social communities; however, it can be defined according to their principal characteristics, and this point out that the social skills are a compound of naturally learned behaviors (and therefor they can be taught), that manifests in interpersonal situations, socially accepted (this implies holding in account the social and legal rules of the sociocultural context in which one is acting, and of course the moral standards), and oriented to obtaining environmental reinforcements (social reinforcements) or self-reinforcements. Not in vain, these conducts are also associated with animals, put to manifest in the relationships with other beings of the same spices. In the case of people, they are given the individual that possess a larger capacity in achieving the aimed goals, maintaining its self-esteem without harming the people that surrounds him or her. These conducts are based fundamentally in the dominion of the communication skills and requires a good emotional self-control from the one that is acting. In many mental illnesses the area of social skills is one of the most affected, therefor the psychosocial work of recovery is very important. Although the old dimension related with the behavior social wise has always been a point of concern, it wasn’t until mid-70’s the social skills field got its largest diffusion and, nowadays it is still being object of study and research. The origins of social skills go way back to Salter, towards 1949, who is consider one of the Fathers of behavior therapy, and who developed in his book Conditioned Reflex Therapy (six technics for skills). So, there were born different studies based on the beginnings of the so-called behavior therapy of Salter. This sources formerly quoted were develop in the United States, whilst in Europe, the Englishmen Argyle and Kendon (1967) related the term of social skill with social psychology, defining it has an organized activity, coordinated, in relation to an object or a situation, that implies a chain of sensorial mechanisms, centrals and motors; one of its main characteristics is that the acting, or sequence of acts, it is found continuously under the control of the sensorial information entrance. The social skills are gathering special relevance in different ambits, for reasons like: The existence of an important relation between the social competence of childhood and social and psychological adaptation. Kelly (1987) expresses that the social competence is related with a better and subsequent psychosocial adjust of the child in the group-class and in the group-friends, and in a better academic adaptation. The low personal acceptance, the reject or social isolation, are consequences of not having adequate social skills. The opinion of Argyle (1983) and other specialists like Gilbert and Connolly (1995) is that the deficit in social skills might lead to psychological maladjustment and entails into the person uses maladaptive strategies in order of solving its conflicts. The social competence acquired formerly guarantee a larger probability of overcome disorders. The social skills are correlated positively with measurements of popularity, academic performance and an increase of the self-esteem. The social skills are formed in home and influence in the school. In the field of health pedagogy, these skills are applied for the treatment and prevention of pressure, alcoholism, schizophrenia, and etcetera. The lack of social skills favors the disruptive behavior, which difficult the learning process. According to Gil and León (1995), the social skills aloud to perform the following functions: They are reinforcements in social interaction situations. They maintain or improve the interpersonal relationship with other individuals. A good relation and communication are base-points for subsequent interventions with any kind of joint or group. It diminishes stress and anxiety in specific social situations. They maintain and improve the self-esteem as well as the self-concept. The social skills circle around the relations, the character and attitude. By developing these skills, you can increase your work performance, build better relationships y work to win yourself a promotion. If you think that these social skills are not natural for you, you have to learn to improve them in order for them to become a natural reflex in you when it comes of treating with other people every day. Your goal must be achieving a clearer communication orally, written and without words. Just start by taking consciousness about how everybody else feels when you are around o they are talking to you. Establish eye contact. Acknowledge the presence of another person seeing them to the eyes, especially if the other person just enters the room or you’re passing by in the hallway. Turn around to see the people when they are addressing to you. Don’t let your eyes wonder around the room. Control your body language. Show interest by standing up or leaning forward. Resist the urgency of giving little taps with your fingers or toes. Imitate the other person’s posture when you are talking to them in order to create a nice atmosphere. Practice your conversation. This includes speaking in public and speaking privately with another person. Be consistent with your rhythm and volume when you speak. If you feel uncomfortable with personal relationships, practice with a close friend or a family member. If you feel nervous of speaking in public, cheer up and make presentations to small groups and practice for you to increase the number of people in time. Develop your writing skills. Review your mail redaction, letters and notes. Learn to correct your orthography and usage of words. Varies your sentences structures. Be precise instead of elaborated. This requires discipline and focus. We listen for multiple reasons: to understand instructions, to identify one-self to another person, or to judge whether or not an idea is good. Regardless of the reasons why you’re listening, there are multiple factors to consider. Paraphrase and ask questions to know more about what the other persons is saying to you. This will show attention and interest. It will also help you understand the situation. Take notes whenever it’s appropriate. This shows that the subject is important for you. Practice taking notes in team reunions or training sessions. Don’t interrupt the other people. Respect them by letting the finish what they were saying. Pay attention to the other person body language. Observe its posture, the tone of voice, and the visual contact (or the lack of it), gestures and facial expressions. The interpersonal skills are important in the workplace, especially because many organizations are formed by teams and departments. Try to start a friendship with your coworkers, supervisors, clients and associate. Make friends with your colleagues. Say hi to them when they arrive to work. Ask them for a cup of coffee or lunch. Talk to them a little bit in the break room whilst drinking something. Participate in work events like sports clubs, lunches, and