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    Understand Offending: Unveiling Myths; Seeking Sexual Health
    Understand Offending: Unveiling Myths; Seeking Sexual Health
    Understand Offending: Unveiling Myths; Seeking Sexual Health
    Ebook114 pages1 hour

    Understand Offending: Unveiling Myths; Seeking Sexual Health

    By Margretta Dwyer

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    About this ebook

    Drawing on her extensive experience in counseling families and individuals with sexual problems, psychologist Margretta Dwyer delivers a timely look at some of the sexual issues facing us today in Understand Offending.

    Dwyer believes the emphasis on natural, healthy sexual development is imperative to creating an atmosphere conducive to debunking myths and false teachings on sexuality. Dwyer also focuses on those who commit sexual offences and explores the reasons behind their problems.

    This detailed, practical guide explores issues facing children, teenagers, and adults in the often-confusing world of sexual behaviour. With a comprehensive glossary and an easy-to-understand format, Understand Offending unveils the misconceptions surrounding sexual offences and offers a clear path to healing through therapy.

    "Readers of Dwyer's book will find a wealth of practical advice regarding the webs of sexual anguish."-Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.D., author, The Continuum Complete International Encyclopaedia of Sexuality

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisheriUniverse
    Release dateJul 11, 2007
    ISBN9780595882656
    Understand Offending: Unveiling Myths; Seeking Sexual Health
    Author

    Margretta Dwyer

    Psychologist Margretta Dwyer directed sexual offender treatment at the University of Minnesota Medical School, Program in Human Sexuality, for seventeen years. She currently evaluates people with sexual problems, testifies in court, consults nationally, internationally, and continues her research. Dwyer lives in Minneapolis.

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      Book preview

      Understand Offending - Margretta Dwyer

      Contents

      Acknowledgments

      Introduction to the Glossary

      Introduction

      CHAPTER 1

      CHAPTER 2

      CHAPTER 3

      CHAPTER 4

      CHAPTER 5

      CHAPTER 6

      CHAPTER 7

      CHAPTER 8

      CHAPTER 9

      CHAPTER 10

      References

      Dedicated to Ann E. Dwyer and Thomas F. Dwyer, my

      mom and dad,

      Who honored education and deserved many degrees.

      Acknowledgments

      I deeply appreciate the people who have crossed my life and who, through therapy, learned new insights and gained new hopes. Their problems and aspirations remain in my heart. All of us, therapists and patients, realize the seriousness of the sexual problems that exist in our society, but we continue to strive to overcome them.

      I particularly thank the people with sexual problems who shared with me not only their pain and despair, but also their dreams of better lives. They longed for a recovered life for themselves and peace for their families.

      Special Thanks is due to Deb Finstad, University of Minnesota researcher who retrieved a copy of the book when all looked lost!

      S. Margretta Dwyer, Licensed Psychologist & Forensic Board Certified

      Licensed Marital & Family Therapist Certified Diplomat Sex Therapist Past Director, Sex Offender Treatment,

      University of Minnesota and therapist for thirty-seven years.

      Dwyer001@umn.edu

      Dr. William Seabloom Ph.D. also has a Master’s in Divinity and a Master’s in Social Work.

      He is a Certified Sex Therapist in private practice in St. Paul, Minnesota and can be reached at Suite 103 Hamline Park Plaza, 570 Asbury Street, St. Paul, Minnesota 55104, U.S.A. Seabl003@tc.umn.edu.

      Introduction to the Glossary

      Language is confusing in the area of sexuality. It becomes consistently baffling and problematic in families’ daily worlds. Words are even more puzzling in the courtrooms, where sexual problems are judged for sentencing purposes. This book starts with problematic sexual issues and ends with helpful suggestions.

      To begin reading this material, it is important to understand the definitions of certain words used throughout the book. So do not bypass this glossary thinking it is not important. It is here to assist the reader in understanding the information in the book. Refer back to the glossary as often as you need for a clearer understanding of sexual problems and other information in this book.

      Glossary

      ephebephile. This is someone who is attracted to teens, ages thirteen to seventeen. The diagnosis is not applicable unless the person has acted on the urges for a period of time or is very distressed by the fantasies. These individuals are not called pedophiles. Usually, the teenager is a willing partner; but that does not, in most states, make action permissible. (In some states, and nations, the age limit for consensual sex is lower than eighteen.) Frequently, teens engaging in these activities are highly sexualized before engaging with an adult partner. Many sources may influence sexuality, including movies, television, pornography, or Internet conversations. Still, the adult is the responsible person in these situations. As always, in-depth analyses are necessary.

      exposer. People who expose their genitalia (usually a man’s penis) publicly to another may be committing a crime. This has to occur repeatedly over a period of at least six months to receive the diagnosis—not just once. They usually expose to adult women, mostly to get a reaction from the women; exposers often have intimacy problems with women, so they are not trying to be physically or emotionally close. They show themselves and run. If they expose to children, then a more in-depth evaluation of the man is needed to see if he has pedo-philiac tendencies, is too shy to expose to women, or could not find any women at the time.

      frotteur. One who sexually rubs against a person or touches sexual parts of a nonconsenting person. This usually occurs in crowded places. Offenders are not frequently caught because, if someone notices, they pardon themselves, implying the contact was an accident. This defense often works. In therapy, or during the evaluation process, therapists learn about the behavior. Psychologists usually do not learn about this behavior because of an arrest.

      incest offender. This category is more precise than some and involves a person who is sexual with family members, often with minors or teens. Sometimes the victim may be younger than a teenager. Usually a man is looking for someone able to have intercourse. So, frequently, more than fondling occurs in this offense. Penetration may be vaginal or anal. Sometimes, intercourse does not occur, but there may be activities such as rubbing of the breasts or oral sex.

      paraphilias. This is the general term or classification for many sexually problematic behaviors. The word paraphilia means "love along side of’ (philia, love;para, beside). Frequently, the person may have another arousal pattern, so a paraphilia may be alongside the main arousal pattern. Some paraphilias are not problematic, as when actions are consensual between adult partners and do not cause harm. Paraphilias may not cause legal problems, be dangerously obsessive, or bother people in general life situations; examples could be fetishes for clothing, such as shoes or lingerie.

      pedophile. People with sexual attraction to children less than thirteen years of age are pedophiles. This diagnosis does not apply unless the person has acted on the urges or is very distressed by the fantasies. If they only have fantasies without distress, the diagnosis is not given. When they act out, they usually engage in fondling the child, not in activities called rape. The adult attempts to be attractive, or at least friendly, so the actions will not inflict physical harm. Physical pain would turn the child away. A more common term for this person, used in treatment, is pedosexual.

      rapist. This is someone who forces sex on another. The act usually involves vaginal penetration. However, it can be anal penetration. Men may also be rape victims, and it is other men who usually rape them. This happens many times in our prisons, and sometimes it occurs in the gay community. A child or adolescent may also be a subject of rape.

      sexual compulsive. Men or women who spend a great deal of time on sexual activities—so much so that it interferes with normal living, employment, sleep, finances, and relationships—fall into this category. Usually, the individuals are not arrested for anything but seek therapy on their own. Sometimes, an arrest occurs if they are on the Internet compulsively and have (due to compulsive activities) called up child porn pictures and downloaded them. They are usually caught in what the FBI calls sting operations for child porn.

      victim-centered sex offender treatment plan. Treatment of this type is therapy for the offender (person with the sexual problem) that focuses on concern, sorrow, and empathy for his victims. In other chapters, I will elaborate on this therapy.

      voyeur. This is someone who watches unsuspecting people for the purpose of gaining sexual excitement. The activity must recur over a period of at least six months. These adults usually have intimacy problems with women. Peeking keeps them a

      safe distance away from women so they do not have to be intimate. If they were observing a person in order to gain access to the house so they could rape, then a different diagnosis would apply.

      Introduction

      I write about what I know best—sexual problems that occur in the midst of families and interfere with their daily lives. Myths regarding sexuality exist in families, in the neighborhoods, and in society. This lack of knowledge only increases the problems surrounding sexuality. All around us, sexual activity is presented to our children, and to us, as one

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