My Quest for a Child

Chapter One-My Childhood

When I was a young girl I always thought that I would grow up get married have a couple of children, live in a nice house with a white picket fence. I think that would be any girls dream. I grew up with both of my parents and at the age of five I lost my mother. She was thirty years old and had two beautiful children my brother and I. She was too young to die. My brother is three years older than me. My grandmother on my Dad’s side ended up taking care of us. I cherish those moments with her. I remember my grandmother singing to me You are my sunshine, my only sunshine… while rocking me to sleep. After a few years my grandmother passed away.

My Aunt Wendy and Uncle John then stepped in to take care of my brother and I. My Aunt would teach me things that my mother would have taught me, like manners at the dinner table, how to brush my teeth and even taught me how to braid. My Aunt and Uncle did not have children so I guess they had fun spending time with us and then going back to their wonderful marriage. I admired their relationship; they were so much in love, even till today they are madly in love.

A few years later my Dad remarried; she had two girls of her own and they had three girls together. So there are seven children in our family. My brother is the oldest, then me, then my two step sisters, and finally my three half sisters, so I have five younger sisters.

At first I got along with my step-mother but when I hit my teens, we did not get along at all.

Both of my parents are deaf, my step-mom as well. Being deaf you have a tendency to talk louder than hearing people and I would chuckle to myself when people would try to talk to my dad by talking really loud, I felt like telling them He’s not going to hear you no matter how loud you talk. I know they didn’t know any better but I still found it comical. We had to grow up very fast. It was an adjustment we had to make as a family. My parents were very good at lip-reading so most of the time they would converse by lip-reading. I remember one time when my step-mom and I were arguing, I said a bad word under my breath, and I got caught because she had read my lips. I would have to be careful next time.

My brother was dating this girl who lived down the street from us, she was around my age. She would come over to hang out with my brother. She and I would talk about what was happening between my step-mom and I and she asked me if I wanted to stay the week-end with her just to get away from there to get a break.

My week-end stay at my brother’s girlfriend’s house turned into a permanent stay. I would now live with her and her family, her mom Linda and Dad and their other daughter.

My brother had also moved out of our house and moved in with his girlfriend’s grandparents who lived right behind where I was living. He ended up going to college and became an Engineer. I finished High School and graduated. I missed growing up with my half-sisters and step-sisters.

I wanted to go to college but I didn’t know what to study. I was interested in criminal law so I went to college and started to study criminal law. I guess I wasn’t ready for college because I dropped out after only a short time. I do regret that

Chapter Two-Love & Marriage

I was now twenty-years old and living in New York City. I was living with a roommate and decided to go to Cosmetology school and get my license, so that’s what I did. My first job was working in a salon in Bergdorf Goodman as an assistant, I didn’t like it there very much the people were way too snooty. I then decided to go to the Trump Tower Pierre Michel Salon and got a job there. I loved that job; it was a fun place to work because everyone was so cool to work with. I stayed there for almost three years.

The Trump Tower is where I met my prince charming, I was working in the salon and my husband-to-be had just moved from Bombay to NY and was working in the restaurant below me in the Trump Tower. When I met him I fell in love with his charming British accent. He was a chivalrous gentleman, very rare to find in New York City.

I felt something about him that I had never felt with anyone else. We started dating; actually we were very good friends and then became lovers. Our first date he took me to see the Nutcracker at Lincoln Center. Within one year we were married, I was 22 and he was 29.

We were actually married twice. The first time we got married it was a little rushed. My husband told his parents who lived in Bombay that he wanted to marry me. His mother consulted with a Pundit, who is like an astrologer about us getting married or not. The pundit would compare our astrology charts and luckily for me the Pundit said that we were very compatible for one another. I would be a Rock for him. The Pundit said we were to be married on a certain day, and that day happened to have been only a few days away. So we decided to get married at the courthouse and that is what we did.

A very funny thing happened that day. We had to bring a witness to the courthouse where the Judge was to marry us, so Al brought one of his friends. We walk into the Judge’s chamber and right away she looks at me and says I can’t marry you. I asked why, and she replied You must either wear pants or a skirt.

It was a hot day in June and I was wearing shorts and a black tee-shirt. Al was wearing khaki’s and a matching black tee-shirt. My witness was wearing pants with a tee-shirt, so I was thinking what to do and decided to grab our witness and go in the bathroom and switch my shorts for pants. Thank God I fit into them. I came back to the Judge now wearing pants and she saw our friend wearing my shorts. We all thought that was pretty funny, even the Judge. I knew we had to be married on this day; I couldn’t come back another day. The pundit said it had to be today.

I did want a traditional wedding with a dress and flowers and people celebrating, so we decided to get married again in September in my backyard.

My wedding day was perfect, it was a bright sunny day in September, and I was still working in the salon in the Trump Tower Salon so I didn’t have to worry about my hair, make-up and nails, I had it all done there, they were nice enough to do all that for me. I got dressed into my wedding gown at the salon and was treated like a V.I.P.

My limousine was waiting downstairs for me in front of the Trump Tower. When I was walking out of the Trump Tower toward my limousine, I was in my wedding gown and I felt like a movie star because everyone on the street was staring at me. I had strangers taking pictures of me wondering who I was.

My mom Linda did a very gracious thing by arranging my wedding outside in her back yard. She had all the tables and food set around the pool. We had a DJ and photographer as well. There was a double deck outside the back of the house, and that is where I would walk down the isle, down the stairs. It was perfect, just perfect.

There was one major disaster at my wedding that nobody knew but me but we worked it out. My husband had picked up our wedding flowers, including my bouquet, before arriving at the house in his limo. After dropping my husband off, the limousine guy forgot to remove the flowers in the back and left. We tried to call the limousine guy but he wouldn’t come back. So I had no bouquet or any flowers that I had picked out and paid for. My mom Linda arranged some flowers from her yard, and everything was fine.

We waited a few years before we wanted to start a family, thinking we had time, looking back we didn’t have time at all. We were a young couple, enjoying life being newlyweds and just having fun living in New York City.

When I first started getting my period my Gynecologist diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. He put me on the pill to regulate my period and also help me with the immense pain that came with it. What happens with Polycystic Ovaries is, the developing follicles that are normally ovulated each cycle actually remain trapped inside the ovary, after a while these follicles will swell with fluid and turn into cysts.

Some women will produce high numbers of egg follicles and these follicles tend to contain many eggs, but the eggs are usually poor quality. This condition is one of the causes of Infertility and is a hormone problem. I was on the pill for quite a few years and now thought I would go off the pill and see if I could get pregnant on my own, so that’s what I did.

I was off the pill for at least six years and never got pregnant, I just had painful menstruations. I had to now seriously think about getting pregnant, mainly because of my age. I didn’t want to be an old mom, I didn’t know if I would have the energy to raise a child, like I did ten years ago. But God willing if he wishes to bless me with a child, I am sure he will give me the energy and strength I would need for my miracle baby. I have wanted a child since I was very young, but now I have realized that it may take me some time to get pregnant. My Gynecologist told me that I would probably need Fertility medication to get pregnant although there are many women with this condition who get pregnant no problem. We tried to get pregnant on our own but nothing was happening.

Finally in 1999 we went to see a Fertility Doctor to see what options we had to get pregnant. He told me I had Polycystic Ovaries, which I already knew and said I would have a hard time getting pregnant on my own. I would have to take Fertility medications.

My doctor thought that I should try IVF but at this time my insurance company was not covering it. The cost can run you about $10,000 for one try. We were not financially able to pay for this on our own and we knew that it would probably take a few tries before we got pregnant.

In 2000 we moved from New York to New Jersey.

Chapter Three-"Early Attempts

at Pregnancy"

I found a new Gynecologist in New Jersey and had my check up done. I told her I wanted to get pregnant but was told I needed some help. She advised me to try this Fertility medication Clomid. The purpose of this drug is to stimulate egg development in the ovaries. It basically causes the woman to produce more FSH and LH.

There are many side effects to this drug, one is it can dry up the cervical