Garrett: Death of a Selfish Man

1  

Mr. Cameron, your table is ready, the host came with the long awaited announcement for the stylish couple who were sitting at a window table overlooking the entire city and the mountains beyond. He signaled for their waiter to come over and carry their drinks into the dining room. On the way, they nodded and acknowledged several other patrons of the elegant restaurant.

I certainly hope that we have a window table after waiting so long to be seated. the chic, stunningly beautiful woman looked up from her Blackberry, I don’t know why these people never seem to understand that one does not sit on the interior.

Certainly madam, the waiter said as he pulled out her chair.

Garrett Cameron caught the expression on the waiter’s face. He knew what he was thinking. He looked at the waiter and shrugged. Sondra was still complaining and never noticed. Garrett just let her carry on and only added, That’s right, whenever she paused. He really paid no attention to what she was saying. If he thought about it very much, he knew she could be a bitch. However, Garrett made it a point not to think about it very often.

They had been dating for over fifteen years and it was a convenient situation. She traveled extensively and operated her own high tech company that specialized in corporate mergers. She was a very independent, formidable businessperson. Garrett’s own schedule was overwhelming. He did not travel very often, but he did put in long hours, seven days a week. They saw each other whenever their schedules allowed. Even though there was never any commitment between them, their acquaintances considered them a couple.

Sondra was talking about a Broadway play she had seen the previous week while she was in New York. Garrett paid little attention. That was one good thing about being with Sondra. She would get on a subject and talk incessantly, requiring little input from him. He was watching the light of the moon reflect on the fog filling into the valley below. It was a pretty night.

The waiter brought their appetizers, and poured their wine. By then, Sondra had moved on to the price of her favorite brand of shoes in New York’s finest stores. He just nodded and started to eat.

He had been rather melancholy all week. Usually, he was too busy and involved to think much about things. This time, he seemed unable to snap out of his funk. Verna, his executive assistant, had noticed it and asked him if something was wrong. He decided he might have caught some virus or something. He had rarely been so depressed. Anytime he had ever felt that way before, he was able to start some work project or another and it would go away. This time, it did not.

He had been looking forward to seeing Sondra, but now that she was back, he wondered what he had missed. He interrupted her dissertation on the design of strapless sandals. He was not sure just whether she was for the straps or against them. I missed you.

She stopped talking and looked at him, That’s nice, and then continued about the shoes.

No, he said, I really missed you.

Sondra looked annoyed. I heard you. We can go to my place and take care of your needs after dinner. Now, don’t be crass. She went on talking about the bloody shoes.

He looked at her, wondering to himself who was being crass. Then for the first time, she seemed to actually notice him, looked him over, and said, Did you buy that suit off the rack? My, it is so ill-fitting.

I had it made by my tailor, and I like it. It is an imported silk.

Really? You must go back to the tailor and have him redo it,Sondra was off on another tangent about how hard it was to get good quality service people any more. Garrett returned to looking out the window.

You are being difficult tonight, she observed. Has the deal with the Japanese firm hit a snag?

No. I never talked to them this week. I thought I’d give them a little time to think things over before I called them again.

Not a good idea. You must keep on them. They may find a new company with which to merge. You really need to conclude this deal up before you lose it. You are usually such an out-in-front person. You know, the deal is worth a lot of money.

I know, Sondra, but I feel in this case, it is wise to back off a bit. I just don’t think I should push it.

Well, your judgment is usually excellent in these matters, so I will defer to your wisdom. Except in the case of that suit,please tell me you will take it back to the tailor.

She went back to her opinions of the working class, and Garrett went back to watching the fog. Sondra’s business sense was good and she was an avid negotiator. It ran in her blood, and there was little room for anything else. She would rather broker a business deal than anything on earth. She rarely let anything stand in the way of her work. Though Garrett was a workaholic, he was mild compared to her.

His cell phone rang. Sondra gave him a dirty look as he checked the caller I D."Is it that a business call you were expecting?

No, I wasn’t expecting one.

Sondra rolled her eyes, and frowned, I thought it might be important.

The caller was his daughter-in-law’s mother, Meg Walters. It took him a minute to place her name as they had only met briefly a few times.

The soft background music, the sounds of fine silver on good china and dinner conversation all swirled in his mind as Meg gave him the news. I’m very sorry to have to call you. There’s been a traffic accident. Jack is very seriously injured. I think it would be wise if you come out right away.

Garrett stammered for a word, gripped the table’s edge, and tried to keep the dizziness under control. How bad is it?

Bad. Jack is critical and Tammy didn’t make it.

The kids? His voice had dried to a whisper.

They’re fine. They were home with me, thank God. If you want to see Jack, you’d better get here as soon as you can.

Garrett was still trying to absorb the news, but at least the vertigo had stopped. I will get the first flight out. I’m sorry about Tammy, she was a nice person. He knew it was lame, but the man who conducted high-powered meetings regularly, could barely put a simple sentence together. He was ashen as he closed his cell phone.

Concerned, Sondra asked, Problems?

My son was in a car accident. He is critical and his wife was killed.

Sondra was obviously irritated and frowned at him, I imagine that will require your attention. It’s a good thing that you weren’t close to them.

He could have hit her. I have to get out there right away. I’m sorry, but my son might not make it. I am leaving now, and you can either come with me or finish your dinner.

My, Garrett, don’t you think you’re overreacting a bit? That is why there are doctors and hospitals. He’s in good hands. You should stay and finish your dinner. I will be staying. Don’t worry, I can make my own way home.

Garrett looked at her with incredulity, automatically kissed her on the cheek, paid the bill and left. By the time he had completed the thirty-story elevator ride, he had called his assistant, Verna, and then his vice president, Steve Holden. As he got into the cab, Verna called back with his flight information.

Don’t worry about anything. God bless you, Garrett. My heart goes out to your family. He knew she meant it.

He went home, threw some things in a bag, and left for the airport. He would arrive at his son’s home in about seven hours.

Garrett had little time at the airport, and had to run to make his plane. He was relieved because he did not have the patience to sit and wait. First class was not full, so he thought he could get comfortable, and get some rest. Instead, he spent the trip in the tormented twilight between sleep and a nervous breakdown.

His mind wandered back to the last time he saw the kids. Tammy had just found out she was pregnant with their last baby. They were so excited. He tried to remember the baby’s name. He thought of a couple and then decided it was Joseph. ‘Yah, it must be Joseph,’ Garrett confirmed to himself.

He had never seen the baby, but did have tentative plans to visit later in the year. He knew Jake was the oldest child. He was almost six now. He had only seen their little girl once. She was about ten months old then. He couldn’t remember. He tried to figure out how old she was now and decided she must be about three.

He wondered if his ex-wife would be coming in to see Jack. He hoped she would, because Jack would be pleased. She was married again for the fourth time since they had divorced. He had been her first husband, and Jack was her only child. Dee was just a sweet, small town girl when they married. Once Garrett made enough money to buy his first lumber mill, Dee started to change. He had to admit, he did too. Their shaky marriage was falling apart around them, and neither of them put any effort into trying to repair it. They were divorced before Jack was five, and afterward, Garrett only saw him half of the holidays in a year. He spent the other half of his holidays with his mother and the rest of the time at boarding schools.

Garrett squirmed in the seat, ‘I wish I would’ve spent more time with the kid! What was I thinking?"

He knew. He was busy with his work and building his fortune. He was very successful. However, he had paid a price for it. He devoted himself totally to his work. Work was controllable. People were not. He lost touch with his family and friends. The more of his family and friends he lost, the more he worked to forget. Now, he was a solitary man who had a small fortune and a business that was the leader in the lumber industry. He had the respect of business leaders and was considered a man of his word. However, he had almost no one he was close to, friends or family. He had convinced himself that he wanted it that way.

Honestly, he didn’t like what he was thinking about himself. He thought of all the times his son just wanted to talk or spend time with him. He was always too busy. When he was with him, Garrett spent most of his time on the phone or on his computer working on some business matter. He always told Jack he would have more time later, but that he had to take care of something important first. Until now, he had never realized what he was actually saying was that Jack was not important.

He had convinced himself that he was spending all the hours at work for his family. In reality, he was insulating himself from them. In his work world, he was the boss. He did not have to think about what the people around him thought or felt. The only peace he could find was to promise he would make it up to Jack when he got well. He would get him the best doctor’s money could buy.

When the plane landed, Garrett had not slept at all. The memories, or lack of memories, he had dredged up were not pleasant. He was left empty, worried and depressed. But that aside, he knew he loved his son. He sincerely wanted to do the best for him. After collecting his bags, he flagged down a cab for the drive to Jack’s house.

2  

Garrett rang the doorbell. The sun had not risen yet, but was beginning to light the sky. There was no answer. Before he rang the bell again, he checked his watch. It was barely five thirty. He was deciding if he should find the hospital on his own so he would not disturb anyone, when the door opened.

Looking very worn and tired, Meg opened the door in her pajamas. He would not have recognized her if he had seen her on the street. It had been over two years since he had seen her. He recalled her as having a petite, round figure. Now, she was skin and bones. She was extremely pale and very thin. He had only met her a few times; Jack’s wedding, Christmas one year and then two years ago. Garrett always thought of her as a pleasant lady who was rather comfortable to be around, but had probably not talked to her more than an hour total in all the time they knew each other. He remembered her as being perky and fun. Now her brunette hair hung lifelessly, and though her features were still pretty, but she was drawn and sallow. He tried to conceal his shock at her appearance.

She looked at him and gave him a weak smile. He reached out to shake her hand; she hugged him, and started to cry. They embraced briefly, and then Meg recoiled, finding some inner source of strength. I’m so sorry that we have to meet again this way, but I’m so relieved you’re here. Bring your things. I’ll put the coffee on.

Garrett let the cab go and brought in his bags. Meg told him which room he could use upstairs. Did you get any sleep?

Just cat napped on the plane, but not really. Have you gotten much sleep?

No, hardly any. I sleep about ten minutes and then wake up and my mind is going a hundred miles an hour. I can’t seem to shut it off.

I know. God, this is awful,

Well, after you freshen up, I can fill you in on what happened.

Garrett nodded, and went up the stairs.

Try to be quiet. I just got Joshua to sleep about half hour ago.

Okay. He repeated in his mind, ‘Joshua. Joshua. Not Joseph. Yea Gads! I don’t even know my own grandson’s name!’

He wondered if he would have been able to take care of a baby in the midst of all this confusion. Then he thought to himself, ‘Hell, I have never taken care of a kid in my life!’

He washed up, shaved, and felt a little better. He changed into his jeans and a polo shirt and went back downstairs. Meg was just pouring his coffee.

Black or with cream?

Black is fine, thanks, he said taking the cup and sitting down, How’re you doing? You look worn out.

I look like Hell, Meg corrected. I guess the kids are picking up on my anxiety. They were impossible to settle down last night. Of course, it didn’t help with my crying and all the phone calls. My neighbor came over to help me until she had to go to work. At least I got to see Jack before I had to go identify Tammy.

She broke down and nearly lost her footing. Garrett jumped up from his chair and caught her. He helped her sit down and she took a tissue.

I don’t know how you did it. You okay now?

She nodded, The accident happened about two in the afternoon. The kids were going to a friend’s house for an afternoon barbeque. Some drunk hit them, head on. He was pronounced dead at the scene, too. The coroner said Tammy never felt a thing. Poor Jack is really messed up. The doctors don’t give him a very good chance of pulling through, Garrett. He is in ICU and they don’t know if he will make it. I want you to know that before you go to see him. He’s not good at all.

Has his mother been called?

When your Verna called to give me your flight schedule, she said that she was trying to contact her. I called my ex-husband, Rod. He and his new wife, Frannie, are driving in from Chicago.

I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you and Rod had split up.

Don’t apologize. You had no reason to know. Anyway, Jack is at St. Andrews Hospital on Broadway. You just go east at the corner here, and follow Elmwood all the way to Broadway. Here are my car keys, and this is the key to the back door. Make yourself at home.

As Garrett opened the door, there was a knock. A pretty, dark-haired girl in her late twenties jumped as they startled each other. Hi, I’m Cindy, Meg’s niece. I came to pick up Joshua.

Meg came to the back door, Remember Garrett Cameron, Jack’s father? He just got in. I’ll go get Joshua.

Cindy came in the kitchen, I’m so sorry about Jack and Tammy. Then she said between tears, I just talked to her about an hour before the accident. Guess you never know.

No, we all think we have forever.

Cindy nodded toward the stairs, and asked in a hushed voice, How’s Aunt Meg doing?

She seems very tired, but I guess that is to be expected.

Just then, Meg returned struggling to carry the baby, the diaper bag, and a grocery sack of things.

Here, let me help you with all that stuff, Cindy insisted as she took the bags.

Thanks. There is small duffel on the bed in Josh’s room and another bag with his clothes and stuff in it.

I can get it, Garrett offered.

No, I will after I take this out to the car. I have to put his car seat in my car anyway. Got the keys, Aunt Meg?

Garrett handed her the keys. Meg suggested he sit down and hold his newest grandson, while she checked his room to make sure the baby had everything he needed. Garrett held out his arms and she put the sleeping boy in his lap. He was not comfortable with babies. He always had a fear of breaking them.

Just relax. He’ll be fine.

She went off to his room to retrieve the other baby things. Garrett sat there petrified the child would move. Just as Meg returned, the baby started to squirm. Meg noticed Garrett’s panic. Don’t worry. You won’t drop him. It is just like holding a puppy.

Garrett was unconvinced. Then Joshua opened his big brown eyes and looked directly at him. Garrett smiled. He was a cute baby, with big dimples, and a mop of unruly brown curls. I think he’s looking at me.

Of course, he is checking you out.

Cindy came to the door, Aunt Meg, it’s the black car seat, right?

Yes, the black one. Did you see how it fits?

Yah. I got it.

Garrett looked at Meg in amazement, Isn’t a car seat, a car seat?

Oh, no. They have to have different ones for different sized kids.

Garrett nodded, but Joshua was getting squirmy, and beginning to fuss. You’d better take him.

Meg reached down to take the baby, but flinched as if in pain as she picked him up.

You okay? I can keep him.

Meg took the baby and sat down. No, I got him. I just moved wrong.

Garrett looked at her and frowned, but never said any more. He was surprised at her obvious pain. He watched her intently, trying to figure out what had just happened. Meg avoided looking at him.

Cindy came back to get the baby and the last bag. She hugged her aunt, Josh will be fine with me. Let me know if you need anything else. Keep in touch, and try to get some rest.

Garrett helped Cindy with the door and carried the bag to the car. Meg waved goodbye and went back inside. Cindy strapped Joshua into the car seat and took the bag from Garrett. As she did, she asked in a near whisper, How is Aunt Meg doing? I mean really.

I have only been here about half an hour. I know there’s something wrong. She seems very weak

Didn’t she tell you?

No, she never said anything. We were just talking about Jack and Tammy. What’s wrong?

Well, Cindy answered, giving Garrett the keys back. It is not my place to say anything. If she starts having problems, please let me know. Here is my phone number. I’ll be in touch. I can keep Joshua as long as you need.

Garrett stepped back and watched her back out of the driveway. He ran his hand through his graying hair, trying to understand what she meant. On the way back to the house, he said, Try to remember: the kid’s name is Joshua.

He went back inside and stopped at the door. Meg was standing by the sink, holding her stomach.

Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?

No, I just need to get some sleep.

Do you have a doctor to call to get something so you can sleep?

Thank you, but I can’t do that. I don’t want to be a zombie. I’m going to have to use my noggin today. My friend is coming over about noon, and she’ll help me. I need to get plans made for Tammy’s service.

Okay. Meg, I will run up and see Jack for a couple minutes. Then I will come back to help you until your friend gets here. I can go with you this afternoon, if you’d like. However, if you don’t want me to interfere, I would understand.

No, you wouldn’t be interfering. Rod won’t be here for a couple days and I would appreciate the help. Did you hear when Dee will arrive?

Not yet. Will you be okay while I go see Jack? I will be back as soon as I can.

No, I’ll be fine. You take all the time you need. It will be hard. You don’t know how much time you will have.

3  

Garrett smiled as he got into the minivan. The back seat was filled with car seats and baby paraphernalia. ‘There is enough equipment to make an engineer shudder. Kids sure take a lot of room,’ he observed. He thought about his Mercedes; neat, clean and empty by comparison. He checked the time and knew Verna would be up by now, so he called her.

Have you heard from Yokohama? And could you e-mail the final numbers on the mill up north?

Steve is talking to Japan now, and he had already checked over the numbers from accounting. He said they are good. Things are going fine. No need for you to worry. How are things going there with the family?

They’re going. I’m on the way to see Jack, now. Tammy’s mom is not doing very well, and her niece came to get the little baby. Did you get in touch with Dee?

Not yet. She and Arthur are traveling in Europe, but I’ve left a message at their hotel in Madrid. I am expecting to hear back soon. Everything else is fine here. You get any sleep?

No. Hell, Verna, I can’t even remember the baby’s name. I keep thinking it is Joseph, but it is Joshua.

Don’t worry about it. I go through all my kids’ names every time I want to yell at one of them! Take it easy and call me if you need anything.

Did I ever tell you I love you?

Not lately, but I kinda figured it.

Like most people, Garrett hated hospitals. The smell, the sounds, and the reason they were there. They were oppressive places. He could not imagine how someone could go to one every day, and not become somehow deranged. He was glad there were people that did, but he certainly was not one of them. He checked in with the nurse’s station and got the room number. The nurse asked if he was Mr. Cameron’s father and he said yes. She handed him a message. Garrett took the folded piece of paper and frowned. He put it in his pocket.

He found the room easily, and hesitated as he got near the door. He took a deep breath before he pushed it open and entered the room. The machines were all beeping in the rhythm of whatever body function they were monitoring. The air was warm and felt close.

The patient was almost unrecognizable. There were tubes everywhere and one leg was in a cast and on traction, and the other was bandaged. His neck was in a brace and his face was almost totally obscured by bandages. One eye was covered, while the other was severely bruised.

As Garrett went to the bedside, he could feel his chest tighten. He took his son’s hand and squeezed it. He leaned toward his ear and said, It’s Dad, Jackie. Dad’s here.

Jack opened his eye for a second and Garrett wondered if he heard him. Then Jack squeezed his hand. He opened his eye again and began to focus.

How you doing, guy? Garrett asked, not expecting an answer.

After a minute, a raspy voice whispered weakly, Dad….. knew you’d come…. love you.

"I love you, too. I want you to know how sorry I am for all the times I wasn’t here for you. I promise to do