F’D Wide Open: The Rude Awakening of the Heart-Based New Humanity

Copyright © 2014 .

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ISBN: 978-1-4917-4717-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4917-4718-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4917-4719-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014917018

iUniverse rev. date: 11/21/2014

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

F’d=

Waking Up

The Illusion of Separation

Your Purpose

Our Sexual Wounding as Food for the God-Goddess Eaters

Remembering and Reclaiming Unity Consciousness

Invocation

Invitation to Divine Love

Divine Love Agent Provocateur

The Spiritual Practice of Love

The Totality of Human Experience

Heal This Land

Chapter 1 The True Nature of Reality

Formless and Form

Absolute Balanced Mastery

One Man, One Woman

Another Puppet of the Patriarchy: the false New Age

Big Fat Lies

Masculine-Feminine 101

The Seven Senses of Our Sensual-Sensorial World

Our Core Essence is Feminine or Masculine

You are the Divine-In-The-Flesh

The Nature of Reality and Perception

Duality into Oneness

Our Emotional-Energetic Blueprint and Energy Mastery

Our Thoughts, Beliefs, and Feelings

The Time is Now

Chapter 1 Journaling Exercises

Chapter 2 Just My Initiation

The Goddess, Marina

I, Sensuous Girl

Dirty girl, branded

Choice

Make love, make love

Tying the Knot-Untying the Knot

Chapter 2 Journaling Exercises

Chapter 3 Discovery

Love, Forgotten

The Pyramid of Manipulation by the Powers-That-Wanna-Be

The Pyramid of Manipulation Chart

The Master Key

Date Night

Stop

Wisdom Inside You

Love. Love. Love.

Sex—the World’s Substitute for Love

Chapter 3 Journaling Exercises

Chapter 4 The World Is Not the Planet

The Dawning of the World

The Powerful Few

First level: Lessons of survival.

Second level: Lessons of power and submission.

Third level: Lessons of neo-equality/freedom.

Fourth level: Serving love and the Divine.

Interplay of all four levels

Higher Energy Portals of Consciousness

Chakra-based Relationship Lessons Chart

Heart-Based New Humanity Chakra Guide

Interference and Hijacking Our Superpowers

Chapter 4 Journaling Exercises

Chapter 5 Dumbing Down Our Divinity Through Mind Control and Programming

The Waking Gods and Goddesses Movement

Woman Knows

Sacred Mutuality

Fairy Tales and Love Stories

Objectifying the Goddess

Patriarchal Domination and The Fall of the Feminine

Skydancing—Ascension of the Feminine and Her Descent into Full Form

Chapter 5 Journaling Exercises

Chapter 6 The Ascent, Descent, and Embodiment of Conscious Man

Born To Be Bad – Sins of the Father (and the Mother)

Man Up: Beyond Deleting Programs

The Sword of Truth: Clarity and Purpose Toward Conscious Union

Keeping Man Honest

Healing the Horrors of War

The Spiritual Reasons for Sexual Dysfunction

Chapter 6 Journaling Exercises

Chapter 7 Woman: You Are the Gatekeeper To Conscious Presence on the Planet

Two Hearts and the Cradle of Life

The Gateway to Conscious Presence

Yang and Yin—Fire and Water

The Sensual Life Wheel

The Sensual Life Wheel Chart

Dying to be yourSelf

Commanding Love

Chapter 7 Journaling Exercises

Chapter 8 Betrayal & Mistrust of Women & the Feminine Principle

Girl Betrayal: Sisters against Sisters

My Mother, MySelf

My Inner Feminine and Masculine

My Sister, MySelf

Chapter 8 Journaling Exercises

Chapter 9 Transfiguration: Facing Our Darkness, Radiating Light

Overstanding: Beyond the Edge of Understanding

Dark Sexuality

My Sexual Healing

Questioning Reality

Trauma, Belief, and Mind Control Busters

Chapter 9 Journaling Exercises

Chapter 10 The Divine Purpose of Heartbreak

Mirror, Mirror

Heartbreak

Forgiveness

Two Pathways of Heartbreak

Pride

Chapter 10 Journaling Exercises

Chapter 11 The Scent of God: The Quest for the Beloved

The Scent of God

Musical Lovers

Of Two Heads and Two Minds

Chapter 11 Journaling Exercises

Chapter 12 Familiarity: The Death of Love

The Way We Were

Who Are You?

Making Love Divine

Chapter 12 Journaling Exercises

Chapter 13 Divine Lovemaking

Our Bodies Know Divine Lovemaking

Home

Love, now…

Chapter 13 Journaling Exercises

Epilogue The Heart-Based New Humanity

Ascending, Descending, Incarnating on Purpose, and Embodiment

Serving Love, Truth, and Beauty

Heart-Based New Humanity Embodiment Keys and Practices:

Closing Invocation

List of Contributors

Contributor Bios

Divine Resources for the Heart-Based New Humanity

Bibliography

Author Bio

Editor Bio

F r e s h a c c l a i m f o r

F’d Wide Open

This book is sure to inspire a genuine awakening that draws us closer into our own Divine Essence—rather than the programming of the old patriarchal system and the New Age deceptions. It reveals how our unconscious continuation of hierarchy and separation is greatly inhibiting the dance and flow of these cosmic forces which when embraced and integrated, empowers us to fully be ourselves. This book is a de-programming in many ways. It is written in such a palpable way that engages the reader to embark on a journey into their own unconscious, and it enables one to recognize where one may still be immersed in the distortions that take our power away, or encourage beliefs that continue to hold us hostage to agendas that do not serve our Sovereignty or Divine Birthright. I can’t think of anything more important, than coming to terms with these gender conditionings and the reclamation of the Divine Blueprint. It is an incredible support to the way we navigate relationships, our relationship with Self and our relationship with life. It reminds us of the Divine Heart and what the most necessary keys are to a real awakening- bringing us closer and closer to recognizing our own potential and Divinity, without control, but with liberation from the old way, as the guide to get there. -Laura Magdalene Eisenhower, Galactic Historian, Global Alchemist, Cosmic Mythologist, Whistleblower www.CosmicGaiaSophia.com

Marja West invites us all to awaken to the love we truly are—undistracted by our lists of all the things to do. She offers the compelling message: love, now! -Marci Shimoff, NY Times Bestselling Author, Happy for No Reason, Love for No Reason, Chicken Soup for the Soul of Women http://www.thelovebook.com/Landing

Marja West is not only a full-fledged, freelance mystic; I believe she’s been an intuitive empath all along, from birth. She’s also earned a black belt from the School of Hard Knocks, and holds a graduate degree from the University of the Universe. In the kindergarten for saints we call life, she’s a big heart teacher for lifelong learning, starting now. She guides us through the often-rocky terrain of life as it ‘lives’ us moment to moment. In relationships, we face our greatest teachers—beckoning us to open, to go deeper, dissolve our reactivity, to stay and not escape, and to love, anyway, because love is what we are. -Gary Gach, Mindfulness Teacher; Author, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Buddhism; editor, What Book!? – Buddha Poems from Beat to Hiphop.

"We are honored to write a recommendation for Marja West’s book, F’d Wide Open. Her description of the struggle of women and men to heal from their exposure to violence and unconsciousness and how profoundly this unconsciousness has affected their sexuality is enlightened. Also, her discussion of the transformation of unconscious man to Conscious Man Arising and of unconscious women to empowered women parallels our own process of rising out of the depths of collective male domination-driven insensitivity. Her sharing of her own personal process as well as those of others—both men and women who are healing from unconsciousness—makes the book readable and heartfelt. In this journey of recovery, she also describes the Divine purpose of pain, suffering, and heartbreak, and gives us clear tools for creating love that is alive and nourishing, including guidelines for sacred sexuality. She ends with an inspiring message for what she calls, ‘The Heart-Based New Humanity.’ This book can be immensely helpful for anyone, particularly couples, who seek to find a new and conscious way of living alone and together. Bravo!" -with Love, Krishnananda Trobe, M.D. and Amana Trobe, Founders and Directors of Learning Love Institute, Sedona, Arizona www.LearningLoveInstitute.com

"Marja West is a beacon of Divine Love and wisdom. Her book F’d Wide Open invites us all to upgrade our most intimate relationships. She illuminates how to embrace the physical aspects of being human, one of our most empowered expressions of love. Marja West has created a literary invitation to personal growth, a love letter to the power of expansion and self-acceptance." -Vaishãli, Life Management Expert, Author of You Are What You Love & Wisdom Rising, syndicated radio show host, Huffington Post Columnist, www.PurpleV.com

"Marja West’s F’d Wide Open is a brilliant and inspiring handbook for awakening into a Heart-Based New Humanity and the truth of who we really are. Marja willingly bares her soul in the telling of a personal journey that has led her to becoming the powerful healer and teacher she is today. Hats off to a great lady for calling each of us to our own Awakening and Divine Lovemaking. -Robert Han Bishop, Ph.D, Director, Institute for Advancement of Humanity and Producer/Host, Transforming Reality Talk Show

"Fiercely compassionate, Marja West’s F’d Wide Open expresses the slings and arrows of humanity’s unconscious embodiment with spectacular clarity, and shows the way out! With precision, Marja teases out the nuances of Masculine and Feminine energies that reside within each of us and demonstrates how we can resurrect internal balance to bring forth sacred love. With potent tools and exercises, Marja provides a means for healing the personal so that we may collectively become the reverent, interconnected, natural, luscious human presence on Planet Earth we were always meant to be. A compelling read with a rare combination of honesty, grace, and deep social relevance." -Sarah McCroskey, Founder/HumanSpirit Radio Network, www.HumanSpiritRadio.com

"F’d Wide Open is a deep, dark, rich, and courageous offering from Marja West who definitely isn’t interested in preaching to the choir, but devoted to shattering the glass ceiling that tries to confine humanity’s Divine Creative Spirit. She spells out the rude awakening of the Heart-Based New Humanity with ingenious, relatable clarity. Rock on!" -JJ Brant, Freedom Fighter and Spiritual Warrior

"Marja takes us on a deep journey and inquiry into the Feminine and Masculine within us all. Experiencing one’s sexuality as a spiritual personal path, regardless of partnership status, is to understand Life itself as a spiritual and even sexual partner. Any woman or man who reads this beautiful work would come away with a profound sense of moving through the world and Life with new awareness. I appreciate that she ties her teachings with meditative journaling exercises." -Jessica Hadari, founder of the Miracle Salon and the FEM Talks Alliance of Women Leaders, Educators & Healers

Marja West has spent years working with people to understand how their joy in living and relating is blocked by deeply seated pain. Using the tools of the metaphysician, the alchemist, deep woman wisdom, quantum physics, and great heart, she opens a door for healing for the reader. Enter this passageway, and you will find tools for transformation and healing.-Rev. Dr. Jane S. Galloway, Spiritual Director, Sacred Center New York

"DURING TIMES OF UNIVERSAL DECEIT,

TELLING THE TRUTH BECOMES A REVOLUTIONARY ACT."

—George Orwell

For Prilly

Preface

Writing this book was a messy trek into my underworld and the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Psychics and forensic analysts would find bloodshed on these pages, skin and hair samples, spittle and mucous, the sweat of hard labor, lots of mascara-laced tears, and the battle gore of angels and demons.

Early in life it dawned on me there are infinite perspectives. Defending my position proved futile and exhausting, so I learned to remain open-minded in the realm of all possibility and listen to other viewpoints, sometimes fighting back tears because I felt afraid, alone, misunderstood, shamed, and dismissed, or utterly stunned, disgusted, and horrified by the opinions of others.

Imagine a beautiful, warm, summer day, the kind with fluffy white clouds and a sky so incredibly rich and forever blue. The wondrous three-year-old me smiled from ear to ear, determined to voice my breathless enthusiasm to my often harried and irritated mother. Joy was my natural frequency, but for my tribe, such expansiveness usually triggered an onslaught of verbal and physical reprimands. Certain she would delight in my moment’s pleasure, I was shocked and traumatized when something so innocent got ugly and twisted. According to her, the sky was blood red; it was not up for debate. For many years thereafter, I vilified her crazy dismissal until I witnessed for mySelf a perfect and intensely gorgeous, blood red sky! In that moment I realized my own dismissive folly—that my mother was actually speaking well of her truth, based on her personalized perspective, as seen through her very own eyes. My defensive posture relaxed and melted into a puddle of love.

Except for being told what to do, no one really engaged me, but I asked lots of rarely answered questions. Once I learned to write, I befriended diaries—sketched, recorded my thoughts, vented hard feelings, journaled, and documented and dissected dreams and nightmares by viewing mySelf as playing all of the characters. Often my privacy was invaded, followed by the demand to justify my entries because a family member, friend, or beloved didn’t like what they’d read about themSelves. Never mind they crossed into my personal space.

The paradoxical nature of perception and the world was in my face. I saw through the façade of pretentiousness, called it out in my own teenaged-Self, and witnessed its common thread weave through nearly everything and everyone unnoticed. Human behavior seemed automated in the obviously perception-managed world-at-large. Feelings of isolation, anger, rage, frustration, fear, helplessness, and sorrow comingled with my joyousness. Right and wrong and common sense was apparent to me, but the moral compass of humanity wavered and pointed more toward the imperialistic domination over the divided masses. Though I found solace in Nature, the inescapable collective suffering and injustices of the world were in my cells, often causing me to weep uncontrollably in deep despair, or engage in target practice or martial arts sparring to help quell my outrage. Often these strategies backfired, producing injury, broken bones, and more feelings of rage and frustration.

In my endeavors to take responsibility and alleviate my own personalized suffering and inner toxicity, I did lots of inner work. I checked out all sorts of tools and techniques to face and compost my emotions, reactions, thoughts and beliefs, so that my actions were effective and life affirming. I studied and absorbed the various medicinal qualities available to me through astrology, archetypal psychology, the philosophical writings of Epictetus, numerology, tarot, comparative religion, the Kabbalah, yoga, various New Age channeled teachings, meditation, neuro-linguistic programming, Rebirthing Breathwork, Pranic Healing, Five Element Chinese Medicine, homeopathy, Reiki, Wicca, and even black magic. My biggest allies, however, were journaling, music, dance, gazing up into the night’s sky, the humor of Monty Python, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Lily Tomlin, Robin Williams, and Jamie Foxx, libraries and books, the faerie realm, sylphs, unicorns, and mermaids, and the cosmic toilet in my mind that playfully flushed on command as my right foot stomped whenever I got tweaked.

While the yoga of comedy and laughter saw me through the really rough periods of my life, there were quite a number of things I witnessed that weren’t so funny. Throughout the 70s, 80s, and into the 90s, I observed blind-followers of the false New Age Movement conveniently and deceptively talk and walk the slippery slope of advocating personal truth over Truth—resulting in a bizarre form of righteous narcissism: the kind that tauntingly upchucks my truth is truer than yours, or the desperate ad nauseaum repeated pop psychology mantra I know my truth, I know my truth, I know my truth, I know my truth…I do, I do, I do… and so on and so on, whilst ignoring the Truth of what actually is. Even though connecting with personal truth is crucial to Self-discovery and Self-healing, this messed with me in a huge way. Articulating my concerns upset folks; most just cannot accept that Truth is often inconvenient, ugly, and does not give two shits about you personally. I felt surrounded by the living dead and wanted to shake people out of their slumber. Being petite and blessed with exotic features—my naturally animated, brutally frank, combative, edgy, passionate, and wickedly wacky sarcastic tongue often disarmed folks. I adjusted how I spoke out, and tried withholding, lying, speaking the words folks preferred to hear, and sugar-coating my observations, but still my words failed to make an impact. Though Mercury in Scorpio in the 10th House gives me an acute ability to observe reality and tell-it-like-it-is, plus a natural tendency to discover the Truth beneath surface appearances, without filters to tone down my Self-expression and a bullshit meter with no off switch, being around me was a huge challenge for folks stuck in artifice, pseudo-comfort, and the convention of culture and social etiquette as prescribed by the powers-that-wanna-be.

In my late twenties I discovered I was a shadow magnet and light-bearer. The polarities of existence whispered and shouted at me constantly to stay the fuck awake, pay attention, and discover objective Truth at all costs. My egress from normal consensus reality included extricating mySelf from the seductive New Age Movement, which I discovered firsthand was overrun with bullshit, the occult, and the false light of self-proclaimed, ego-maniacal-wanna-be-rock-star-gurus posing as so-called enlightened spiritual teachers drenched in marketing tactics and human pheromones. This process was a painful deliverance; many of my friends thought I’d gone completely mad and dropped me like a bad habit, yet new like-hearted, like-minded friends, allies, benefactors, and support—all devotees to Truth and Freedom—greeted me with open arms.

Though I kept my energy medicine healing work on the down-low, I attracted hundreds of women and men from all over the world, consciously seeking to heal from the darkest and most horrific sexual traumas, many of whom were suffering from AIDS. Call it kismet; I manifested a busy international energy healing/spiritual mentoring practice and curriculum—with the majority of my client-student work focused on spiritual awakening through healing sexual abuse and teaching Energy Mastery. The work was deep, profound, and sacred. In collaboration with my clients-students, I aligned with their courage to wake up and take back their creative-sexual energies from their perpetrators. It became clear to me that the tremendous gifts of healing and revelation that came from these collaborations had to be shared. It was my task and moral obligation to take it on. However, in order to do so, I had to revisit some lingering atrocities from my past and clear them. Wading through the charnel grounds of my own deeply hidden and horrific sexual abuse was tantamount to dying a thousand deaths, but with the help of my greatest mentor, PK, I emerged from the darkness, victorious, and whole. I became allied with every facet of the underworld which also included the suffering and tyranny of the world.

The inspiration to write this book arrived in 2001, just before 9/11. PK asked me, "When are you going to drop your work so you and your beloved can really be together?" Surprisingly, her question activated the unraveling of my own secret quest for Conscious Love and the beloved. My man moved to a city nearly 600 miles away without me, and I was relieved. Clearly not devoted to him like I was to my work, I had to answer to spiritually bypassing my life and using work as a distraction from feeling, let alone acknowledging my deepest Feminine longing. Moreover, I suspected 9/11 was a massive trauma-based mind control manipulation and distortion by the powers-that-wanna-be. Sensitive to all energetic-psychic disturbances from what I deem as purposeful chaos black magic and sorcery, I was aware that the enormous levels of terror, fear, shock, rage, and despair this false flag event generated,¹ hijacked our collective creative energies, decimated our sense of safety, instantly eliminated certain freedoms, and divided us even more deeply.

This divisiveness made me realize the importance of not just waking up to the Truth of who and what we are, but also to the Truth of the insanity of our shared collective reality that we’ve all contributed to, and how perception is purposefully managed and manipulated to control our behavior and creative energies and direct the human condition in the opposite direction of its Divinity by entrenching us in trauma that programs or mind controls us to search for distractions that numbs us from feeling, prevents us from engaging critical thinking, and immobilizes us from taking action. My book needed to address these intrinsic links.

The first draft yielded over 700 pages, 400 pages transcribed from my many hours of live talks and presentations from 1996-2005. The later versions included material from radio, speaking, and webinar presentations from 2007-2013. The manuscript morphed into three books, surviving the censorship, criticism, and scrutiny of friends and colleagues, many of whom are staunch nonbelievers of a New World Order, impersonal Truth, and Divine Love. I’ve witnessed firsthand blatant coercion, divisiveness, and sexism, along with the prevalence of power-hungry egomaniacal, lying, manipulative sociopaths in so-called conscious communities like the Truth and Freedom Movement, spiritually based entrepreneurial changemakers, Divine Feminine-Goddess networks, and UFO groups, just to name a few, and have had to extricate mySelf from these associations. I bumped into my mythology around wanting authenticity and belonging as I kept being told to shut up with my negativity and only focus on love and light, as promulgated by New Age Bullshit. Such directives offered the medicine of opportunity to face my fears of standing on my own, fully exposed, with grace and dignity—steadfast in Love, Truth, and Beauty, even if it meant being dissed, thrown under the bus, or becoming a target for hate mail and more criticism. With every naysayer, tremendous love and support continued to show up in droves.

F’d Wide Open is my humbled heart and soul’s direct experience about waking up to a world so undeniably rude and oppressive on top a planet so beautiful that I’ve had to question the Nature of Reality, face the Truth of my own enslavement and suffering, heal the darkness around my sexuality, reclaim my sovereignty to my bestest ability, and open my heart to the true nature of Divine Love, while fully incarnating and showing up in my life, in the world as it is. I lay down a foundation of the darkest and most unpleasant issues of our shared reality with respect to my own life’s journey in the introduction and first nine chapters of this book. I believe and deeply feel that in order to heal individually and collectively, each of us, even the faint-hearted, must confront the harsh Truths of the world we’ve cocreated. This is the giant first step forward each of us must take toward changing the manifested reality of our lost world and bringing our world back into alignment with Love, Truth, and Beauty, and its true Divine Nature as our planet.

My journey down the rabbit hole moved me beyond the us vs. them paradigm of reactionary finger-pointing, upset, and post-traumatic stress inherent in Truths unveiled or de-occulted, into a place of devoting mySelf at all costs to the solutions made available through awareness and consciousness and choosing to reside in the realm of all possibility. I thank you in advance for being awesome, brave, caring, and curious.

Acknowledgments

The art of writing is a solitary act, but this book did not assume its form without the help of my virtual assistant, Sabine, who rocked it from Paris and was able to read and input my handwritten manuscript into a Word document—thank you Balm/BombGoddess of the V.A. Yoniverse.

To the late Dr. Dan Q. Posin, my beloved Astronomy professor and six time Nobel Peace Prize nominee—eternal gratitude for opening my very first college lecture with the most sublime words from my childhood (and reminding me), We are made of Stardust, and for embodying the very best of humanity through your creative, loving, inspired way of teaching, you are forever in my heart. Deepest bow to my dear soul brother, Bernie Prior—thank you for making me laugh and holding that steady state of love. To Gary Gach, for your generosity in downloading my first lessons in book