Father, Who Are You?: Please Reveal Yourself to Me

Copyright © 2010 by Barbara Taylor

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved: The Open Bible edition, copyright © 1983,1985,1990,1997 by Thomas Nelson Inc. Also the New International Version, Zondervan Publishing House Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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iUniverse rev. date: 1/21/2010

Contents

Father Leads The Way

Father Takes Care Of His Own

We Will Overcome

Father’s Intimate Touch

Father’s Greatness

A Father’s Heart

Father’s Foreknowledge

Father Of Creation

Father’s Exhorting

Father’s Honor

Law And Grace

Father Of The Fatherless

Father’s Comfort

Father’s Correction

Father’s Delight

The Wisdom Of Honoring Father

Father’s Way

Father’s Pride

Honor, Father’s Way

Majesty

Father Is Life

Higher Standards

Presumption

Steadfast Love

Glorious In My Eyes

Believing Father

Righteousness In Father

Father’s Commitment

Obedience To Father

Blessings And Curses

Father’s Lordship

Standing On The Promises

Faithful Father

Father Listens

Unchangeable Father

Father’s Home––My Home

Provision

Sacrifice

Lord Jehovah

Reverence

Unity With Father

Married To God

Suffering

A Pharisee

Following Father

The Call

Division?

Son Of The Father

Bounty Of The Father

Sin Against Father

Father’s Humility

Pain?

Forgiveness

Father’s Love

Worship The Father

Father’s Sabbath Rest

Cultural Deception

Greater Works

Father Draws Us

Revelation Of Sin

Upward Bound

A Gift Of The Spirit

Speaking With Father

Sharing Father

Faith In Father

Deciding To Follow

The Glory Of Father

Surrender

Thy Will Be Done

Father Of Miracles

One Way To Father

When All Is Said And Done

In memory of my mother.

Acknowledgments

Special thanks to Kathy Webb, Barbara Loser, and Kelly Ladere for reading and editing. Special friends are a joy to work with.

Preface

In January of 2000, after two years of working as an Exchanged Life Christian Counselor in my hometown of Wasilla, Alaska, God called me on my first missionary journey. We traveled to Malaysia, Australia, and India. In these last nine years as I have returned again and again to India and Malaysia, the rigors of these journeys have caused me to search deep into my heavenly Father’s heart. There I experienced the mysteries of His strength, His perseverence, His suffering and His love. But above all I have found an incredible, abiding joy.

As I share not only my meditations but the life experiences which have led me onward, I have changed all names for the protection of dear ones. Different pastors in India must be protected from direct exposure and persecution, while other family members here in the United States deserve their personal privacy.

This book was written in quiet contemplation, asking my Father to give me revelation of who He is. If you seek Father in the same way, the scripture says, Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7–8 NKJV) He delights to show Himself to us. May this book be a springboard for your own search into His heart, leading you ever upward into maturity and into the image of Christ.

Father Leads The Way

D euteronomy 1:32, 33 (NKJV) Yet, for all that, you did not believe the LORD your God, who went in the way before you to search out a place for you to pitch your tents, to show you the way you should go, in the fire by night and in the cloud by day.

Our Father goes before to show the way. He searches out places to camp and rest. How diligent He is to care for His children!

LORD, how amazing You are in Your passionate love for us. Your Word says we are the apple of Your eye. Every one of us is Your favorite child. You will fight for us and protect us. You show us the way, mighty Father.

What an amazing solace to be able to rest in the knowledge that the future is not a scary place of unknown foreboding! It is right that we should not know all the details ahead of time, but instead trust in the One who we know will keep us in unfailing love.

"You know the details, Father. I don’t want to have foreknowledge of the circumstances, but only knowledge of You. You provide exceedingly, abundantly above what I can ask or think (Ephesians. 3:20 NKJV), and in Your time You reveal what it is I need to know; therefore there is sweet rest for my soul."

Oh LORD, that day was so black. I had no place to go; no place to stay. My home was no longer a haven but an invitation to anger and bitterness if I was there when my husband reutrned from commercial fishing. No, I would leave and depend on the Holy Spirit to keep me calm and guide me through each painful day ahead. The phone calls to various friends I knew who had spare rooms and were willing to take in good people had yielded nothing. I didn’t know where I would go or what I would do. Yet strangely I did not feel panic because I knew this had been coming for a long time––time enough for You to build a solid belief within me that You were there to take care of me in every situation. I knew deep within my ‘knower’ that in this stark moment of crisis You were going before me to show the way.

My high emotions threatened to erupt in anxiety as I sat at the desk, yet the words escaped my lips in a whisper, I know you have a place for me, Father. My mother and father had no room to take me in, and neither did my other family members. Somehow God had to come through.

Suddenly the phone rang! It was a Christian friend I had called before. I’ve prayed, and we have a room we have used for storage that we can clean out, if you would like it.

Sweet joy flooded my soul. Oh, yes! May I come tomorrow? I asked, while my heart gratefully adored God’s wonderful faithfulness.

God had given me a word of prophesy three years ago that I would be a Christian counselor in my sister’s ministry. Because my husband resented anything to do with counseling, I had simply kept that prophesy quietly in my heart. However, now alone, I knew which direction to go. God opened my friend’s home, which was a haven for me for six months until He led me to Denver for training in Christian counseling.

Thank You, thank You, my Father. You are ever true.

Father Takes Care Of His Own

D euteronomy 1:30-31 (NKJV) The LORD your God, who goes before you, He will fight for you, according to all He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a man carries his son, in all the way that you went until you came to this place.

He supports us financially and meets all our material needs. In God’s economy money does not define happiness because the heart that is resting in the bosom of the Father hearing the words of life, is not harried by a sense of lack and desperation. Money is a tool and is needful in this world, but it cannot define contentment, or give security. These things are found only in the Spirit.

In the natural world money and security go hand-in-hand. Money gives status and power, independence and pride, but to the Spirit man all these needs are dead and buried in baptism; released into the arms of a mighty Father who has no motive but pure, untainted love. Fear is cast out by His encompassing Presence. Faith and clarity replace fear’s paralyzing grip. Yes, money is needful, yet I have found I do not serve money but a Father who will give me power to live. As I submit my every care to Him, He will supply all my needs.

I encounter God every time I open my checkbook. After the last nine years of living on $1000 a month, yet experiencing the bounty of the Lord, my heart thrills with gratitude when I think of the ministry He has given me in India, and the small network of supporters He has developed here in the United States. They freely give enough to support two Indian pastors every month. Additionally, every year God provides enough to send me to India to encourage and exhort His church. Nothing could be more impossible financially, but I have learned firsthand that there is no lack in Him.

God used my mother as an instrument of grace as we shared a home together. As her primary caregiver, I worked to care for the house and yard and tend to her needs. Therefore, I had room and board, and many blessings from wonderful companionship. Sometimes I found part time work, but other times the LORD restrained me so I was undistracted from His presence and the work He wanted to do within me through prayer and study.

My car and my clothes sum up my only possessions. Any resources I’ve had were put into the work and care of the saints in India, most particularly the two fine pastors God has given me to encourage and raise up. He has met my every need and I have never gone empty-handed to India, or gone to bed hungry. He answers the desires of my heart, for He is my dearest Father. My desires have become His and His have become mine.

Recently my mother passed on at the age of ninety and I miss so very much her loving fellowship and wisdom. There is an ache in my heart. I have lost something precious, but I am at rest knowing she is so much happier with Jesus.

As I already knew, the will directed the house to be sold and the inheritance divided among my brother, my sister and me, but it was startling to find how upsetting it was to discover I have no home now, no roots. It was especially painful to see things go from the house and bare spaces appear, forcing me into the reality that nothing would ever be the same again. Nothing.

Still, the One who holds me never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. In my temporary worry over how I would meet expenses and where I would go to live, anguish arose in my soul, but then there came a time when I spoke into my worry and said, No, this world is not my home! You, LORD, are all I desire. You are my home. I will go to the nations for You, and You will carry me and go before me. I know You will provide everything I need for life and godliness (II Peter 1:3). Those words of faith dissolved my anxiety.

All the gold and the silver are His. All the cattle on a thousand hills belong to Him. He is generous in giving and will not withhold any good thing from those who love Him … so, I have peace in my soul.

We Will Overcome

D euteronomy 1:31 (NKJV) … in the wilderness where you saw how the LORD your God carried you as a man carries his son …

He carries us emotionally: He encourages, lifts up, guides, and points the way by example. My Father gently challenges, lovingly touches, listens and engages in His child’s life. He desires intimate relationship.

The kind of relationship that is possible with Father is rarely experienced between two human beings. Self is always in the way. Self requires the center of life to revolve around it. It warps the purpose of life into protecting, aggrandizing, and bringing pleasure to itself. It is our biggest enemy. But when Father and I relate spirit to Spirit, self cannot interrupt. The Word says I am one spirit with the Father; spirit to Spirit, heart to heart, face to face. He carries me, He molds me, and causes me to rise up into His realm. The book of Revelation says Christ overcame the world. In Him I can live with a focus from the Spirit into the natural. Self becomes less, and Christ becomes more.

It will never leave me. I cannot forget how He came to me in those horrible times. I felt backed into a corner with the walls closing in around me. My husband had retired and slipped into deep depression. He had crawled into a hole and pulled it in after him, while the whole family suffered. With thick silence or harsh uncaring words, he made the atmosphere of our home became unbearably brittle. For months I had been praying, encouraging and entreating him, but he refused to be moved. Like water dripping on limestone, the continuous poison of depression eroded all hope, day by day. He talked of divorce but always finished with … but I’ll never divorce you. Such oppression. Oh, such blackness.

One day a letter came from my husband’s old friend and high school sweetheart. I had met her, and knew she was a Christian. She wrote uplifting words and scripture to him. Reaching for anything that would bring him out of his misery, I naively encouraged her to write, never dreaming that his affections would eventually be purloined away.

Still the darkness of depression deepened. Like sand streaming through my fingers, the life blood of our marriage began to drain down the pit of his depression. Sometimes I found myself alone sitting on the kitchen floor with my head buried in my hands, weeping bitter tears and crying out to God. Choking in agony, I would sing the Maranatha song from Psalm 3:3, Thou, Oh LORD, art the shield about me. You’re my glory, and the lifter of my head.

The pain in my heart was unbearable! What could I do? Chad refused to talk to anyone or seek counseling. Intense passion to save him and my family raged in my heart, only to be smothered by a heavy blanket of helplessness.

Then … I saw Him. Jesus came. Standing before me with extended hands, soft compassion flowed from His eyes and surrounded me like a mist. The desperation of my soul melted like butter in His presence. Though there was no audible utterance, my heart drank in the sweet words of love and comfort that He spoke. Rivers of tears flowed down my face in sweet relief, and as I put my hands in His, He raised me up to my feet. Then I knew … we would overcome.

There came a day when Chad’s mother came to him, asking him to construct her log home out on the lake. Suddenly he had something to throw himself into. With purpose before him and the opportunity to create through carpentry, Chad’s activity threw off the chains of pity and hopelessness. Jesus had reached into the pit of depression and given him a lifeline.

Sweet LORD in heaven, You hear our cry. You never leave us or forsake us.

Father’s Intimate Touch

D uteronomy 1:32 (NKJV) Yet, for all that, you did not believe in the LORD your God.

He bears with us lovingly in trials and conflict.